bazaba

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 007

| seo-han’s pov |

the second game ended. it was less thrilling than the first one, but that was just my personal opinion. anyway, it didn’t disappoint me and i was glad.

nothing in here bored me yet, the drama, the action, it was all just so good. if only i had discovered these games earlier, maybe my life would have been better for years by now.

only if i had won, of course. but i would have accepted my death if it happened here.

we made our way back to the dorms. the winners before us were there, someone sitting alone, others chatting quietly. no loud noises, finally my head could rest.

even though silence filled the room, i could hear people’s thoughts. who wished more players had died, those who prayed to go back home and see their families again. i heard it all, but no one was saying it out loud.

was reading people like an open book a skill od mine? no, many people could do that, it was nothing special, really. it even angered me being able to do this, i wanted to rest, i needed my brain to stop thinking for a second, but my eyes were faster.

they studied, they observed and i came to conclusions, most of them being always the same.

i knew the second vote was coming and i felt like i could prevent everything that’s going to happen. i didn’t care what gi-hun’s goals were, i would’ve fought for my own happiness.

we shared the same team, but that didn’t mean i had their same point of view. i had my reasons, they had theirs, and no one could’ve made me change my mind.

watch out, gi-hun. do not expect anything from me. do not expect me to care if one of them dies, do not expect me to vote X or to share your opinion.

i understood what gi-hun had in mind, but i still couldn’t understand what young-il wanted. he was unpredictable to me, everything was going to be a surprise.

and that, as mush as it excited me, it angered me.

i loved surprises, this whole thing had been a surprise to me, a very special one. but from a man i didn’t trust? hell no. i would have tried to find out as much as possible about him, who he was, what did he want.

because i still didn’t know my conclusion about him, meaning i hadn’t been able to read him like everyone else. finally a challenge, a real one.

life had been too easy until now, i was glad he was giving me a hard time, for the sake of my enjoyment and for me too.

then, luckily someone distracted me. it was jun-hee. her eyes met mine an it looked like she had been trying to catch my attention for a while. «seo-han!» she said, walking closer to me. «i’m glad you made it.» jun-hee smiled and i returned the gesture. «yeah, me too.»

«oh, you’re the pregnant lady.» player 390 commented, «come sit with us! now you can be apart of our team.» he joked, guiding us towards our usual spot on the stairs.

«i’m sorry about earlier, everyone.» young-il said. «don’t be. if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t have made the last kick.» gi-hun answered, giving his a small smile.

i felt a hand touching my arm, it was jun-hee’s. «seo-han, i wanted to thank you again.» she said, and the men with us were listening to her too. «she helped me find a team when she didn’t have to, i appreciate that.» it made my heart melt. her voice was so soft, almost a whisper, probably from the pain of carrying a baby. jun-hee was not okay and it was pretty evident.

«that’s true! seo-han is great woman!» player 388 said, «at first, i thought she was so cold… it almost scared me.»

player 390 nodded, «yeah, but now we understand, she’s probably just shy.» player 388 stood up, «shy? have you seen the way she smashed that ddakji?!» he exclaimed, «it flipped it on her first try!»

«you were great, seo-han.» gi-hun patted my shoulder, «we’re lucky you joined our team.» player 390 commented again. «i agree, you must’ve given the salesman an hard time with that skill of yours.» young-il added, looking straight at my eyes.

the second time he mentioned that man.

i gave him a fake smile, «thank you guys, but it really was nothing.» after that comment of mine, they all disagreed, «don’t say that! value yourself more!» player 390 said, giving me a thumbs up.

i’ve never had so many attentions on me, it felt… good. it was my first time receiving so many compliments too. it made me flustered, almost embarrassed. my cheeks turned red and i really didn’t know what to say.

luckily, the conversation shifted over something else.

«listen. perhaps we should learn each other’s names. i know some of yours, like seo-han’s, but i still don’t know your names, gentlemen. or yours, miss.» player 388 explained, and it actually made sense. i didn’t know his name or player 390’s one.

«i’ll start. i’m kang dae-ho. “dae” means “big” and “ho” means tiger.» so that was his name, big tiger. cute.

«my name is park jung-bae. “righteous” and “twice”. my parents wanted me to be twice as righteous.» 

then, the girl next to me spoke. «my name is kim jun-hee. i don’t know what it means though.» during my lonely days, something that used to keep me occupied was searching up the meaning of names. «it has different meanings, like “handsome” and “bright” or “talented” and “shining”.» i said. jun-hee smiled lightly, «that’s sweet.»

«seo-han, what’s your surname?» jung-bae asked. «it’s shin. shin seo-han. it means “order” and “cold”.» they all nodded, agreeing that my name suited my persona.

«i’m oh young-il.»

my gaze shifted towards him. «”young-il” sounds like “zero one”, and that’s my number.» that was actually true. coincidence? i didn’t think so. «oh, that’s true! your name is your number.» dae-ho said.

«gi-hun, what’s your last name?» young-il asked the man. «my name is seong gi-hun.»

«”seong” literally means “last name”.» player 001 pointed out, laughing at his own joke. he was right though, quite comical.

somehow, we all corresponded to our names. they were a little description of ourselves. if you want to know us, just learn our name first, and it will be enough.

the guards then, made their way towards the dorms. it was time for the second vote. «congratulations to all of you for making it through the second game.» the square complimented us.

then, they showed us the results of this game. 110 players were eliminated and the current prize money accumulated was 20.1 billion won.

201 people died up to this point, 201 people were brutally killed by masked guards in a weird ass suicidal game. 201 lives destroyed for the sake of what? and for the pleasure of who?

we didn’t know. we couldn’t know. those were the rules, we were just the players, the innocent puppets of an unknown puppeteer.

if you died, no one would care. one less, not a big deal for sure.

i was aware of this, of the brutality. but them, those who voted O for the prize, could they see it too? those who chose to stay, to play one more game, were they conscious?

greed, selfishness, ignorance. poor them, too blind to see they all probably had the same destiny. the fate of dying here, alone and unsure. and when it happens, they would have wished to vote X, to escape this.

but maybe, just maybe, even when getting out of here, this game will never really end. it will follow you during the night, every memory, every scream, every corpse.

that’s the curse: you will remember it all.

«each person’s share is 78,823,530 won.» the square was interrupted by one of them.

here they come, those who wished more players had died. and they complained, asked to recount the dead. i scoffed, it all felt so surreal. «what’s so funny?» young-il asked me, i shook my head, «it just feels so unreal, are they even serious?»

yes, they were. copies of each other, same mind, same goals, same patch on the tracksuit.

i shared it, but my reasons were totally different from theirs. i did not want people to die, i did not want to keep the money for myself.

perhaps my reasons were even more selfish than theirs. after all, i wasn’t so different from them.

«you will now take a vote to decide whether to continue the games or not.»

i felt the people next to me move. i, however, stayed still. gi-hun looked desperately at young-il and he already knew what he wanted to make sure. «don’t worry. i want to stop here too. i should go and be with my wife at the hospital.»

i snickered. a lot of bullshits. so only i knew that secret of his? that made me feel important.

«i’m telling you. we’ll get out this time.» dae-ho said, then muttered something about marines.

i felt both young-il and gi-hun’s gaze on me. they wanted me to turn to them? waited for me to reassure them saying i will vote to leave? no, they weren’t getting this from me.

«we need to end the games here. i will help you guys out when we get out.» gi-hun said. «please trust me and support this vote.»

now it was really beginning.

«this time, the vote will being with player 001.» the square announced. young-il made his way towards the two buttons and pressed X.

some others voted, up to now X were in advantage.

now, it was my turn. «player 017.»

«seo-ha—» i heard gi-hun calling me, maybe because i didn’t say a thing earlier, maybe because he wanted to make sure of my vote. i walked forward, not stopping. my pace was quick, calculated. i wanted to get this over with and play the third game.

i stopped for a few seconds, not wondering, but waiting. i wanted them to hope until the end, only for it to be destroyed by my choice.

i lifted my hand and pressed O. i wasn’t ashamed, why would i? it’s not like i said i would have voted X, never said that.

i turned and my eyes collided with young-il’s. he wasn’t pissed, he wasn’t even surprised. he just stared at me lost in thoughts. what was he thinking?

dae-ho and jun-hee voted X, surprisingly jung-bae made the same choice as me. he was next to me, his head low in shame, he couldn’t face his betrayal towards his best friend.

«don’t act like a beaten dog.» i said to him. «you made your choice, don’t regret it.» he sighed, «but—» i interrupted him, «no buts. gi-hun won’t hate you, he’s too kind.»

after a few more seconds of silence, jung-bae spoke again, «why did you vote O?» i licked my lower lip, but my answer never came.

the moment i will answer this question is the moment gi-hun will ask me it. for now, you’ll just get my silence.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 006

| seo-han’s pov |

jun-hee’s team just won against the other one. she, just like me, chose to play ddakji and passed at first try.

out of the blue those who were watching started cheering for each team that played. they stood up, screamed and clapped every time one of the players passed every mini-game.

since i didn’t want to die crushed by people, i stood up too, but never really participated in the cheering process.

because when the other team died, they all shut up. they came back to reality, realized that this wasn’t a stadium, this was a deadly game.

something that someone who never experienced this would never believe.

after these others two teams, it was our turn.

i wasn’t nervous because i wasn’t afraid of death. i was scared of it before entering these games, because if i died out there it would have been a vain death, just the pathetic endgame of my boring ass life.

but now it was different. dying would no longer be an issue, it would be my greatest desire.

dying while doing something you enjoy.

«are you guys ready?» player 388 said, giving us a forced smile. he was clearly scared, but still tried to hide his trembling hands.

others might not have noticed, but i did.

i felt bad for him, poor boy.

«yeah, do your best!» gi-hun encouraged us. «and try not to get us dead.» i whispered, but only young-il seemed to hear it. «good luck, seo-han.» he said and i looked at him, «you too.»

it was our turn.

our legs were tied, i was the first, player 390 was next to me, then player 388, young-il and finally gi-hun.

ddakji was the first game to be played and i was born ready.

«it’s a little sad that we have no audience, isn’t it?» player 390 commented. right, i didn’t even notice. we were the last team to play and the one on the other circle was too.

it was just us, the guards, the timer and a little hope left.

but the air in the room was thick. if you were weak enough you might’ve felt suffocated, small and panic would win over self-control.

in a situation like this you stay calm and think straight. you don’t get distracted or let your heart take over your brain. you must stay focused. always.

«guys!» player 390 spoke again, this time to the other team, «we’ll see you again at the finish line! victory at all costs!»

and just like that, they promised each other to survive this. why are humans so blind? such innocence.

only one out of the two teams would have won. not both. but, they can both lose, which is something you shouldn’t forget.

here we go again. the adrenaline. i couldn’t wait, my body needed action, danger.

and then, the game began.

we moved right away, walking to the first mini-game. my turn.

i said nothing, but inside i was burning alive. when the pink guard handed me the ddakji, i wasted no time.

i was confident, i knew we would survive this.

i threw the ddakji and the other on the ground flipped instantly. i passed.

everybody cheered for me, complimented me, player 390, the closest, even hugged me for a second.

i smiled widely and laughed too. but now i needed more.

and i low-key hoped someone would mess it up. like, if we were going to win every round, then it would be boring as fuck.

the sense of adrenaline would fade in me, and if i get bored i lose motivation.

and if i lost motivation there, i would’ve been very disappointed.

anyway, we moved on to the next mini-game, throwing stone and again, he passed at first try.

i had to admit, they were funny men. the way they screamed to motivate themselves to go on, the way they cheered for others, even though they were actually glad for their own survival.

i was enjoying my time here and my team was a humorous one. they entertained me, made my time valuable.

the next round was gong-gi. we all squatted so that player 388 could play and he did it after the first attempt.

i scoffed. both out of boredom, almost, and out of relief.

then. it was his turn. young-il’s. he had spinning top.

i was still waiting for drama, for real. something needed to spice things up, or someone.

«damn, we might get through everything on the first attempt.» player 388 commented, a big smile on his face. but when young-il threw the spinning top, it didn’t spin.

oh. my heart skipped a beat and a rush of excitement filled my veins. two minutes left, now we were in real trouble.

the fear of dying here, of never seeing the world again, of not being able to say goodbye filled their faces. their expressions changed, but they faked it with nonchalance.

«it’s okay, we’ve got enough time.» gi-hun said, already panicking. «let’s go pick it up. ready, go.» and we marched towards the spinning top for a second try. «no fun passing everything without a hitch.» gi-hun tried to ease the tension, clearly failing.

and that was what i really thought, though. no fun, huh? damn right. «don’t let fear blur your mind.» i said to everyone, but it was meant only for young-il.

even though i felt we was not scared, not really.

he picked up the spinning top and now we walked backwards. he tried again, but this time, he managed to threw it backwards.

i was about to burst out laughing, but i contained it. that was fucking crazy, how could you even do that?

«let’s go pick it up, all right, let’s go.» and again, same thing as before. «you sure you did this a lot as a kid?» gi-hun said, «throwing it backwards, now that’s a skill.» i commented, taking a look at the timer.

one minute. fuck, now that was the thrill of playing these games.

this time, while walking forward, young-il broke free from gi-hun and player 388’s hands. he wanted space to do this, but he was rushing it.

it felt… off. like he was making that scene on purpose. i studied his expressions, his movements, his breath, but nothing confirmed my doubts.

he seemed stressed, and he failed again. this time i could tell he was pissed. «what the hell is wrong with me?» he screamed.

what?

what was he doing?

«you goddamn idiot! you’re an idiot!» young-il slapped himself several times, making it look like he lost his patience.

but that looked fake… just a scene to waste time.

«no one is blaming you!» gi-hun exclaimed, stopping him from hurting himself. «remember the times when you had fun playing this. now, deep breaths.»

i looked at the scene in silence, just observing, studying. and i noticed something no one else seemed to notice.

young-il was left-handed. however, until that moment, he used his right hand.

what the actual fuck? so he was making it on purpose.

i glanced back at the timer. 59 seconds.

i wasn’t dying now, hell no. not after discovering something really interesting about player 001, not before finding out who young-il was.

was he part of this? working for it? i just wanted to know, pure curiosity.

they all cheered, we passed this mini-game too. i was too lost in thoughts to even care and as a result, i was being dragged forward. «focus, seo-han!» player 390 screamed. i nodded, «sorry!»

now it was gi-hun’s turn playing jegi. he risked failing, but luckily young-il moved so that he could make it. we passed and just in time, we made it to the end.

we won the game, we were safe. they all hugged each other, including me, in joy.

to be honest, i was glad i survived. now, i needed to find out more about young-il.

but before we left the room, the other team was shot, they lost.

now they weren’t as happy as they were before.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 005

| seo-han’s pov |

that same classical music woke us up the next morning. at first, i didn’t even open my eyes, i just laid there, conscious but motionless. i wasn’t tired, hell no, instead i was curious to discover the second game.

when the speaker spoke, i finally opened my eyes, «ATTENTION PLAYERS. THE SECOND GAME WILL BEGIN MOMENTARILY.» i got off bed and searched the room for familiar faces. eventually, i found them, but they weren’t paying any attention to me.

except young-il. he was already looking at me before my eyes shifted towards him. i gave him a small nod and he smiled.

the staff entered the room and greeted us. then, they led us to the same colored hallways, guiding us towards the place where the next game would take place.

i was right behind young-il, but none of us were speaking. player 456, 390 and 388 were too tense, too scared. but not young-il. he looked relaxed, just like me.

i knew my reasons, but what were his? i wanted to know.

we arrived in a large room, on the floor were drawn two huge rainbow circles. «WELCOME TO YOUR SECOND GAME. THIS GAME WILL BE PLAYED IN TEAMS. PLEASE DIVIDE INTO TEAMS OF FIVE IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES.»

i took a moment to look at the room. it felt like being fooled, like the people in charge of this place were making fun of us. playing kids’ game was enough of a bullshit, but these decorations were even more ridiculous.

«is dalgona a team game?» player 390 said. dalgona? why was he talking about that? i turned towards them, my face was a whole question mark and they seemed to notice.

«oh, seo-han, sorry. gi-hun said this game was going to be dalgona.» the man explained while pointing at his friend. i glanced at player 456 — or gi-hun — for some kind of confirmation, but someone else spoke before he could.

«aren’t we going to play dalgona?» player 100 asked. he was an old man, the same i saw yesterday talking about something with my team before me joining. he was followed by other people, all of them seemed to know about dalgona.

«no, it doesn’t look like it.» gi-hun answered, a bit disappointed. «what’s the game then?» the old man kept asking, but it was pretty evident that gi-hun had no clue.

«you said you’d done this before. that triangle was the easiest. was that all bullshit?» player 100 started to piss me off. he was too loud, too insistent.

but who cared? more drama for me to watch.

«you talked like you knew everything. all these people believed your bullshit. what are you going to do?» he raised his voice, only to be silenced by young-il. «that’s enough.»

and that shut him up.

«PLEASE DIVIDE INTO TEAMS NOW.» the timer started.

we had ten minutes, but i already had a team.

«okay, so… no dalgona. dare i say i’m glad? i suck at that kind of stuff.» i laughed it off, trying to ease the tension. they nodded, but gi-hun only apologized to us.

«i still trust you.» young-il said. «i’d like to play the game with you, if that’s okay?» gi-hun looked relieved. «yeah, we’re already five! we’re a perfect team.» player 388 exclaimed, patting my shoulder.

i smiled and nodded, «we’ll definitely survive this, i’m sure of it. i’ll kick your asses in the afterlife if we don’t.» that comment of mine seemed to have lightened up the mood.

«woah, look at seo-han. looks all quiet and distant but she’s got a sharp tongue!» player 390 said playfully, making me laugh.

«can’t wait to see everything she got.» young-il commented, making me turn to him. «don’t worry, you’ll see.» i teased back grinning, already confident.

in the middle of our conversation, a girl interrupted us. «excuse me.» she said.

player 222. she looked weird. her back slightly curved forward, her knees a little bent, her face showing signs of pain.

then, i noticed her belly. she was pregnant.

«please let me join your team.» she asked. i felt bad for her, we were a team already. «sorry, we already got five people.» player 390 said, but she insisted.

«please help me.» she touched her belly, «i’m pregnant.»

yeah, i’ve figured it out.

this time, i decided to speak. «we’re terribly sorry, my dear. but as you can see we’re a team, you came here too late.» i shifted my attention towards the timer. two more minutes.

«look, you still have two minutes to look for someone else, i can help you if you like.» i suggested, my tone incredibly sweet.

i pitied her, really. being there with a baby must’ve been horrible. but at the same time, i couldn’t sacrifice myself for a stranger.

be selfish. be selective. your own well being first.

«thanks, i appreciate that.» the girl nodded, accepting my help. i looked at my team, «i’ll be back before the time runs out.» they all nodded.

again, young-il’s heavy gaze burned into my back while i was leaving with player 222 to my side.

i wondered why he liked to stare that much.

«what’s your name?» i asked her, just to make a conversation, even though i wasn’t really interested.

why asking, you might say. well, i wasn’t completely crazy yet, i was still a human and in that place i felt more human than ever.

i had no reason at all to be a complete jerk.

«i’m jun-hee.» she answered, looking up at me, «you?» i smiled, «i’m seo-han.» my gaze shifted from her to the room, looking for incomplete teams.

«how did you end up here?» jun-hee asked me. i sighed, «the same way you ended up here.» i replied jokingly, a playful grin crossed my lips.

«look! there’s a team of four, they’re looking for another one.» i pointed at a group of two men and two girls. jun-hee scrutinized them. «they look okay.»

i nodded, «well, you found your team.» i said, already waving off to her. «wait!» jun-hee stopped me in my tracks, «thanks… for helping me.» she blushed softly, holding her belly.

«don’t mention it.» i smiled politely, «good luck, we’ll see each other later in the dormitory.» she agreed and walked towards her team.

i came back to my own team. «you’re back.» gi-hun said. they looked like they’ve been waiting insistently for me to come back, why such a rush?

then i understood. the timer just went off.

«TIME FOR TEAM SELECTION IS UP.»

we sat one next to another inside one of the circles, waiting for instructions. «okay, be calm and listen carefully.» gi-hun explained.

young-il was next to me.

«THE GAME YOU WILL BE PLAYING IS SIX-LEGGED PENTATHLON. YOU WILL START WITH YOUR LEGS TIED TOGETHER. EACH MEMBER WILL TAKE TURNS PLAYING A MINI-GAME AT EVERY TEN-METER MARK AND IF YOU WIN, THE TEAM CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE.»

here we go again. my heartbeat increased, i started sweating and my body didn’t like staying still. i wanted to move, to play, to do anything but staying seated, waiting for the speaker to explain everything.

it was like having ADHD, but it appeared for the first time the moment i entered this place.

«HERE ARE THE MINI-GAMES. NUMBER ONE: DDAKJI. NUMBER TWO: FLYING STONE. NUMBER THREE: GONG-GI. NUMBER FOUR: SPINNING TOP. NUMBER FIVE: JEGI. YOUR GOAL IS TO WIN ALL THE MINI-GAMES AND CROSS THE FINISH LINE IN FIVE MINUTES.»

fuck, that sounded exciting.

«seo-han.» young-il called me. he must’ve noticed my expression: eyes widened and lips curved into a small grin. not exactly the reaction you expected after hearing the rules.

«it’s good we got a woman. you can play gong-gi, right?» player 390 looked at me with hope in his eyes. i nodded, «sure, i can.» he sighed in relief, «but i’m not very good at it.» his smile fell.

«i mean, i can play it, but i’ll warn you: i will make you lose time» i added, «or worse, i won’t pass and time will end.»

the truth was, i actually could play gong-gi very well, i just wanted to play something else.

player 390 shook his head, scared by my words. «no! no, it’s alright. don’t say that!» player 388 joined our conversation, «actually, i can play gong-gi.»

the man was surprised, «you? an ex-marine?» i frowned, «what’s wrong with that?» he waved his hands in defense, «no! i meant—»

«i grew up with four older sisters. i used to play it with them from time to time.» player 388 explained us. player 390 patted his back, «that’s right. there’s nothing a marine can’t do.»

gi-hun then spoke, «everyone else, what game are you confident playing?» i replied first, «i can play ddakji very well.»

player 390 nodded, «okay, miss seo-han can play ddakji. i’ll go for flying stone. i was a pitcher for my baseball team. i’m good at throwing.»

«that leaves jegi and spinning top. which are you good at?» gi-hun asked young-il. «well, i’ll play what you pick for me, gi-hun.»

smart move.

«i guess i’m better at jegi.» he said, «then i’ll do spinning top.» young-il answered.

we were ready to play. my body ached for action.

«guys, bring your hands together.» player 390 said, stretching out his hand. «on three, we go, “victory at all costs.”» we also reached his hand, young-il’s above mine. his hand was warm and calloused.

«one, two, three. victory at all costs!»

and now, the game was truly beginning.

we weren’t firsts, two other teams were. their legs were tied together, and that was a handicap, a shitty one.

a hand touched my lap, the same hand that was on mine a few minutes ago. young-il’s. «are you nervous?» he asked. i chuckled, «i’m not.» i turned to him, «are you?» he shook his head.

«why you chose ddakji? are you good at it?» such curiosity, why i wondered. «yeah, i am. or i’m just very lucky.» young-il hummed in understanding, «i see, so you won against that salesman, didn’t you?»

tricky question. why all of sudden? what the fuck was his goal, what did he want to know?

i never played against that man, i only saw him play with another man.

i decided not to tell him and play along. «oh yeah, i won a lot of money that day.» i smiled falsely, hoping he would fall for it.

«i’m impressed. i’m pretty bad at it honestly.» young-il’s hand was still there. on my lap.

it didn’t bother me, it just made me more curious about him.

i will eventually find out who the hell you are, “young-il.”

| in-ho’s pov |

was she fucking with me?

she lied to me shamelessly, telling me she won against the salesman. but i knew very well she didn’t because she never played ddakji with him.

and that’s because she wasn’t invited to play, she was not selected.

shin seo-han shouldn’t be here in the first place, she doesn’t belong to these games, she’s an anomaly.

however, she never looked scared, not even once. since the first game, i’ve been checking out on her from time to time, trying to study her, to see through her.

but it wasn’t as easy as i expected. she definitely was not an open book. seo-han was mysterious, quiet, difficult to approach if she’s not the one to make the first move.

i figured out very little about her for now, almost nothing, and she wasn’t making the job easy.

sometimes i even thought she might’ve discovered everything about my fake identity and that’s because when she looked at you she made it look like she already knew everything.

but then, i was pissed.

the way seo-han lied to me so as not to reveal anything about her private life made my blood boil.

and those fake smiles, fake laughs, fake words.

seo-han did not care. about them, about dying, about the games.

she only cared about herself and that didn’t make her any different from the other players.

but what did make her special was her fearless spirit.

i wanted to know, i needed to know.

however, the more i seemed to get closer to her, the more she backed off.

she will end up reaching the wall eventually, and she would find no way out.

only then i will strike.

i will eventually find out who the hell you are, shin seo-han.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 004

| seo-han’s pov |

i wasn’t alone anymore, i had a team. of course, i didn’t trust them, not for the slightest. they were still strangers, and i couldn’t trust people so easily, not in these games.

player 456, player 390, player 388, player 001 and me, player 017.

we were still sitting on the stairs, talking, or at least, they were chatting. i listened, commented if i considered it necessary and nodded when i agreed with someone.

maybe that was the reason i couldn’t fit in every time i tried. i didn’t socialize, i analyzed those around me and understood their persona. but the moment i read them like an open book, i get bored.

they were nothing special to me, just normal people who didn’t differentiate themselves from the rest. regular, predictable, self-centered, fake. all the same, all copies.

those in these games weren’t any different, but player 456… something in him wasn’t regular, that’s why i chose to follow him. neither because i had faith in him, nor because i wanted to befriend him. i would study him, understand him, and then judge him.

was he a regular or unique? my final judgement.

and player 001… his aura felt weird. every words that would leave his mouth sounded forced, not sincere. i noticed he liked to stare, just a little bit too long than needed. his gaze burned, and i felt it all on me.

sometimes on 456 too.

and that question, “player 017, who are you?„ why would he ask this? something was off, and i was sure of it.

anyway, who cared? i mean, if he really was hiding something, what could i do? it wasn’t my business and i wouldn’t be surprised because i already expected it.

i was there to fill that void inside me i never managed to fill. i was there to have fun for the first time, to enjoy myself, to feel alive.

not to make friends, not to win.

to die happy. my deepest desire. i wanted to die while doing something i loved, something that made me feel free.

and this was the best place where to fulfill my wish.

a sound interrupted my thoughts. a voice, then a slight touch. «hey, are you okay?» player 001, him again. he bushed my shoulder with his fingers, his voice low, a whisper only meant for me. i blinked once, then twice.

i spaced out, it happened sometimes.

«oh, yeah. i’m fine.» i answered, still not focusing. i could feel his gaze hitting me harder, «you seemed lost, what were you thinking about?» he asked, but he was not really interested.

why bother asking then, what was the point.

«nothing at all.» i changed topic quickly, «what were you guys talking about?» i turned to look at him, our eyes colliding again. he didn’t answer right away, instead he kept staring at me, studying my entire face, from eyes to cheeks, from lips to chin.

just to go back to my eyes.

«to be honest, i forgot.» he laughed a bit, trying to ease the tension. i curved my lips into a smile. we stayed silent again, analyzing each other.

he looked older than me, in his late forties, but he was handsome, if i had to admit. his body seemed strong, trained.

but what was his business with me? because i knew he wasn’t going to leave me alone easily. i wanted to ask him, but i thought it would be better if i kept this to myself, for now.

i realized i didn’t even know his name. not that i cared, of course.

he was about to speak again if only something didn’t interrupt him. a fight, in the center of the room, two boys against one.

how ridiculous.

i looked lazily at them throwing punches like toddlers, not caring enough to step in and end it myself.

however, the man next to me stood up and walked over them. «boys, what are you doing in the middle of mealtime?» he said, «there are elders present. mind your manners.»

they stopped, but still not sorry enough. «and two against one, aren’t you embarrassed?» player 001 continued. one of them, a purple-haired boy, decided to stood up against him. «you’re lecturing me when you ended up in this shithole too?»

he got closer to the older man, mocking him, but writing his own defeat. «dude, stop running your mouth and take care of your own damn kid.»

something shifted in the air. the provocation was too much, too personal, and he didn’t even realize it. «what did you just say?» player 001’s tone changed, he wasn’t just pissed, the boy’s words went too far and he was going to regret it.

he challenged him, warned him to not to say another thing, if he wanted to live. however, the purple-hair boy was too proud to understand it, he had a reputation to defend.

«i said save the lecture for your own damn kid.» before he could even finish, player 001 grabbed his neck in a tight hold. the boy’s friend intervened, but he wasn’t fast enough to prevent the older man’s moves.

he ended up rolling on the ground in pain, hopeless. player 230 tried to punch him, but again, player 001 was faster.

the purple-haired boy was on the floor, praying for forgiveness, and he eventually let him go. the room cheered, whistled, clapped.

i, on the other hand, just sat there, smiling slightly. it was funny to watch, really entertaining.

with all these scenes they were only feeding up my entertainment without even knowing.

—

lights went off not so long ago. i was in bed, still wide awake. i couldn’t sleep, and i hated it. i wanted to sleep, but my mind wasn’t tired yet, too many feelings, too many thoughts.

i wasn’t the only one awake, player 001 and player 456 were too. they were next to me, talking, and i couldn’t help myself from listening to their conversation.

«my wife is very sick.» player 001 said and that made me press my lips into a thin line. «she has acute cirrhosis. she needs a liver transplant.»

those weren’t lies, they didn’t sound like it. but something was still off, like he wasn’t being completely sincere.

«but when she was going through the tests, we found out she was pregnant.»

i analyzed every word, his tone, the breathing, just to find out if he was really telling the truth.

«the doctor suggested a termination, but she won’t listen. says she’ll gave birth even if it kills her.»

he went on telling his story to 456, his tone never changed. eventually, i nodded slightly, agreeing with myself that he was being sincere.

however, i was unsure of one thing, and i was going to find out the truth. knowing his past didn’t make me change my mind about him. i still doubted his presence, his persona.

«i need that money to save my wife and our child.»

save… his wife and child?

that’s what didn’t sound right. i couldn’t explain why, not even how, i just felt it. i needed to prove my point, i didn’t care about him.

i heard player 001 stand up to walk towards his bed. player 456 stayed there, lost in thoughts. i didn’t let my occasion slip, so when 001 was next to me, i stopped him.

«hey.» i called out, and he heard me. i looked at him and he looked at me, his face was even more handsome under the orange glim of the piggy bank.

«you’re awake.» he said, but i didn’t answer. «sorry, i eavesdropped what you said.» my tone was plain, but still a bit sarcastic. his reaction was almost imperceptible, but i saw it.

his weight shifted from a leg to another, his breath hitched and his eyes trembled.

«oh, don’t worry.» he was pissed, i knew it. «you’re not sleepy?» he walked closer, his figure towering over me. as a remark, i lifted my torso and sat. «not at all.»

our eyes studied each other for the hundredth time.

it made the fire grow inside me. this untold competition excited me, made me want to know more.

about him, about what he wanted.

«what’s your name?» i asked finally. he seemed to be taken aback by my question. however, he answered, but it took him too long.

he hesitated. i noticed.

«i’m young-il.»

false. yet another lie.

«and you’re seo-han.» he said, smiling. i smiled back, «that’s right.»

young-il… was that his name? no, it wasn’t.

«young-il, can i ask you something?» i went straight to the point. he licked his lower lip, then nodded, «shoot.»

i blinked, preparing myself for his reaction to my question. «i heard about your wife… and son.»

he gulped but still gestured me to go on. «are they alive?»

his jaw clenched. his hands instinctively pulled behind his back.

his reaction told me everything i needed to know.

«why?» he asked, holding back his rage. «because when you talked about them… it sounded like they weren’t with us anymore.»

he scoffed and looked away from me, in search of an escape, a distraction. «you’re right.»

i tilted my head, smirking slightly. «they died.» he said.

and i knew it. i proved my point, now what?

«how did you notice?» young-il asked me and i shrugged, «can’t tell, i’m just very intuitive.» i looked at him dead in the eyes. «i’m good at… reading people like an open book.»

i said it like a challenge, but it sounded more like a warning.

young-il’s glaze darkened, he stepped even closer, his knees touching my bed, «really?» he grinned. «that’s a great ability, how can you do it?»

he wanted to know more, but he had to gain my attention first.

even though he was about to have it.

«because people are all the same, it’s easy to figure them out.» i explained, «that’s why i’m eager to find someone different from them.»

my smirk deepened, «someone able to… catch my attention.»

young-il reached for my shoulder, patting it a few times, «i hope you’ll find that someone.»

i sighed, suddenly tired, «yeah, i hope too.»

author’s note

heyy!! thanks for reading this ff!! i wanted to ask, what do you think about seo-han’s opinion about society? or her reasons for the games to continue? i personally do not agree with her on this one, like, if i were there i would definitely vote X, i’m NAWT staying there💀🥀

see you in the next chapter!! stay tuned🩵

[bazaba]

LOVED THIS🙏🏻🙏🏻

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 ˙⋆✮

2015 player!in-ho x player!reader

summary: it’s 2015. the games are running. you’re a player. so is in-ho. somehow, you both survive. somehow, you both escape.

wc — 4.5k

✮ in-ho is not the frontman, ooc - pretend he doesn’t have a wife at home okay, fluff!, escape fic, a little slow burn, i made up my own games (sorry if they suck), in-ho is a softie, no use of y/n, proofread but probably mistakes

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

the silence after the first game was worse than the gunfire.

it hung in the air like smoke, choking and heavy. the kind of silence that clung to skin. that crawled up into your mouth and made you forget how to breathe.

you sat on the edge of your assigned bed, knees drawn up to your chest. the lights of the dorm were blinding and everything still smelled like gunpowder and blood.

four hundred and fifty six of you had entered that field. less than half had made it back.

you didn’t know his name yet.

just that he’d been near the front when the shooting started. that he hadn’t flinched when the first body hit the ground. that he moved with the kind of silence that meant he’d seen death before.

now he sat on the floor not far from you, his back against the wall, one arm folded over a bleeding cut on his ribs. he hadn’t asked for help. hadn’t made a sound.

but when he looked up, his eyes found yours, and held.

not in a threatening way. not a challenge. just… stillness.

recognition.

like he was trying to decide something about you.

you didn’t look away. neither did he.

not until a guard walked past and barked something out.

then he was just another number again.

you lay with your arm across your eyes, trying to pretend the sounds and bright lights weren't bothering you. the shifting bodies, the choked sobs, the way the air reeked of blood and fear.

footsteps approached. slow. careful. you sat up fast — fists clenched.

it was him. player 132.

he raised a hand. not in defense. not a threat.

you caught the glint of a makeshift bandage he’d tied himself.

“i saw you,” he said quietly. his voice was rough, like he hadn’t used it in a while. “you kept your head down. moved smart.”

you didn’t answer.

“are you trying to team up?” you asked, wary.

“no. just…” he looked past you, jaw tense. “most people froze when the first shot rang out. you didn’t.”

“and you didn’t flinch.”

“i’ve been shot at before.”

“figures.”

he sat on the floor across from you without asking.

you studied him in the half-light. early-forties, maybe older. sharp eyes, but tired. scar near his collarbone. he hadn’t shaved in days.

“you were a cop.”

it wasn’t a question.

he blinked once. slow. “was.”

you nodded. “that’s why you’re not panicking.”

he didn’t answer.

but he didn’t deny it, either.

that was the first night you shared food.

a semi stale bread roll. split down the middle and passed between palms like a peace offering.

he didn’t tell you his name. you didn’t offer yours.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

they woke you early to the familiar sound of trumpet concerto.

your eyes burned. your bones ached. you moved anyway.

he did too. 132.

you didn’t speak. didn’t need to. you took your food trays and ate together in silence before being taken to the next game.

the new game room was nothing like the game before.

nothing on the walls. no music. no color.

just circles. twenty-eight of them. eight chairs each, bolted to the floor under a spotlight. like some twisted campfire setup.

they separated you before you could react. a shove in the side sent you toward the third circle. 132 was placed across the room, too far to reach, too far to watch.

you sat. seven strangers joined you. tired faces. blank eyes. nobody looked at each other.

the screen buzzed to life above you.

game two: mafia.

each group contains seven citizens and one killer, please see the cards in front of you for your assigned role. each round, the killer will eliminate one player. the group will vote on who they think the killer is. if the citizens vote wrong three times, the killer wins. if you find them, you all survive. except the killer.

no one spoke.

you could hear someone crying softly. someone else muttering a prayer under their breath.

you just stared at the table, looking at your card. citizen. shit. you'd prefer to be the killer.

the lights cut out without warning. dark. absolute.

you didn’t breathe. didn’t blink.

the hidden speakers announces. "killer, choose your victim."

there was movement. barely audible. a shuffle, a shift. something soft, like fabric brushing the floor.

then stillness again.

when the lights came back on, the girl to your left was gone. no blood, no marks. just a new card reading eliminated.

someone cursed. someone else stood up too fast and had to sit down as the guards pointed the guns.

five minutes to vote.

you said nothing.

you let everyone talk over each other. throw out guesses. accuse. defend. panic.

then, thirty seconds left on the clock, you spoke.

“it’s not her.”

everyone turned to look at you.

you nodded toward the girl. “whoever did it would’ve had to move in the dark. look at the dust near the chairs. no footprints near hers. she didn’t walk. and no one walked to her.”

the others hesitated.

someone said, “then who?”

you didn’t answer. you just watched.

the vote was wrong.

the lights went out again. a different player had been taken from the group. an older guy.

you kept the same strategy as before, analyzing the players and the surroundings,

“it’s him,” you said, nodding toward the quiet boy on your right. thin shoulders. nervous fingers. fake eyes.

“what? no—i didn’t—i haven’t—”

“you haven’t said a word until now,” you said. “and now, your chair is closer to the last victim. just a little.”

he froze.

someone else nodded slowly.

then another.

three votes. the screen flashed.

killer found.

a sharp bullet hit him in the neck.

he dropped instantly.

you didn’t flinch.

the game killed off another half of the players. it was brutal. now 108 players remained.

your eyes scanned the crowd.

and found him. 132.

his arms were crossed. his gaze fixed on you. something unreadable in his face.

but when you walked past, his shoulder brushed yours — just barely — and that was enough.

that night, you sat beside him again.

closer this time.

you didn’t speak at first. didn’t need to.

he was the one to break the silence.

“you made it.”

you nodded. “so did you.”

he blinked once. slow. “you figured out the killer?”

“eventually.”

you looked at him. really looked.

he was tired. the cut on his ribs had started to bruise. you could tell it was hurting him despite his eyes still being sharp.

“i’ve been watching the guards,” he said quietly. “they don’t check the west wall after lights out. there’s a blind spot.”

you didn’t answer.

just let the words sink in.

then finally, “you think we can get out?”

he didn’t hesitate.

“i think we have to.”

you stared at him for a long time.

then: “you never told me your name.”

he didn’t look at you. just said, “hwang in-ho.”

the syllables sat heavy between you. like something delicate. something real.

“i’ll remember it,” you said softly, followed by telling him yours.

his eyes flicked toward you, softly saying your name.

and when you lay down again, it was closer than before.

his arm brushing yours.

his name still in your mouth like a promise.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

sleep came in pieces.

a few minutes here. a few minutes there. the dorm was never dark enough. the bathroom signs too bright and the cameras small red dots distracting you.

it was never quiet enough. there was always someone whispering, crying, coughing. the low hum of electricity. the sound of guards’ boots just outside.

but for the first time, you weren’t alone.

in-ho slept with his back to yours. not touching, not quite. just close enough that you could feel the warmth of him. steady. solid.

you didn’t realize how long it had been since you’d felt safe enough to fall asleep near someone.

not until your eyes slipped shut without even meaning to.

you woke to his hand on your shoulder.

light. but steady.

“they’re coming.”

his voice was low, barely more than a breath. but it cut through the haze in your skull like a flare.

you nodded. already moving.

the next room was silver.

cold. metallic. all mirrored walls. you caught your own reflection and barely recognized it. thin. pale. shadows under your eyes like bruises.

you didn’t see in-ho.

only pieces of him — a shoulder in one reflection. his hands in another. eyes, once, looking back at you from the wrong angle.

then they split you up again.

you tried not to look for him after that.

game three: reflection. behind one mirror in each row is the real exit. only one player per row may advance.

your card: row seven.

the mirrors stretched in every direction.

you moved slow. careful.

someone screamed. someone ran. someone else hit the glass so hard it cracked and kept going anyway, hands bleeding.

you kept your eyes low. watched for breath fog, fingerprints, signs of depth.

and finally — found it.

a mirror that didn’t fog under your breath. that made no sound when you knocked, only a hollow echo.

you stepped through without looking back.

player 077, pass. the rest of your row was announced as eliminated.

you flinched when the shots went off. but you didn’t turn around.

you found in-ho again in the next room.

he had a scratch on his jaw now. dry blood just below his ear.

his eyes found you instantly.

you don’t know why — but you smiled.

just a little. just for a second.

and what shocked you more was that he smiled back. not a full one. not really.

but the ghost of something filled you. warmer than anything you’d seen since this all started.

you sat together again that night. closer than before. your knee bumped his. he didn’t move away.

“you made it,” you said.

he nodded once. “so did you.”

then a beat of silence.

you turned your head, just a little.

“you were watching me.”

he didn’t deny it. just looked ahead again.

“i was making sure you got through.”

your chest did a strange thing. too tight and too soft at the same time.

“you always watch out for people like that?”

“no,” he said. then quieter, “just you.”

you blinked.

but you didn’t answer.

your shoulder leaned into his just a little.

he didn’t move.

that night, when the lights dimmed, he spoke again.

“i’ve mapped the cameras. six dead spots in the dorm.”

you turned your face toward him in the dark. could barely see anything. just the outline of him. the shape of his hands.

“what about the guards?”

“shift change. twenty-minute gap.”

your voices were barely whispers now. not because of the guards.

just because it felt like something private. intimate.

you didn’t answer for a long time, but you shifted closer. just a little.

then finally, “then we wait.”

and this time, when you lay down, his arm was still warm beside yours, your fingers grazing slightly.

and you didn’t pull away.

you didn’t mean to fall asleep like that.

your head had drifted sideways sometime in the night. barely — just enough that your temple brushed in-ho's shoulder. just enough to feel the shift of his breath as he exhaled.

you thought he was asleep.

but then he turned his face toward you. slow. careful.

and stayed like that.

when you woke fully, the room was still dim. the fake lights overhead buzzing faintly. most people were curled up, half-conscious or staring blankly at the ceiling.

you didn’t move. neither did he.

your head stayed where it was. warm against the fabric of his sleeve.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

“there’s a utility door.”

he told you the next morning. quietly. over the edge of your food tray. you picked at the dry rice, not eating.

“under the dorm floor. hidden panel in the far corner.”

you didn’t look at him.

just kept your eyes low. slow blink. neutral face.

“is it locked?”

“not all the way.”

his voice stayed level, but you could feel the tightness in it. like a wire pulled too far.

“how do you know?”

“i’ve been testing it at night. pressure changes when i shift the tile.”

you let that settle. like fog across a field.

then nodded. once. just enough.

“we need something to wedge it open.”

“i’ve got a spoon,” he said. “filed one edge down against the bed leg. works like a pry bar.”

you glanced at him. surprised.

he didn’t look smug. didn’t gloat.

just said it like a fact.

you found yourself smiling. just a little.

“are you always this prepared?”

his eyes flicked up to yours.

“only when it matters.”

you didn’t talk much after that.

but everything between you had shifted.

you moved together now. silent and in sync. like the same thought lived in both your heads.

you shared food without asking. passed each other water when one of you coughed. helped each other through the exercises between games.

you started watching the guards’ patterns together. who looked lazy. who got too comfortable. who checked their weapon less often.

at night, you started slipping into the dead zones. just for seconds. a few feet of shadow tucked behind the stacked beds. the cameras didn’t reach there.

it was in one of those quiet corners that he fully touched your hand for the first time.

not by accident. not in a hurry.

just his fingers brushing yours. warm. deliberate.

you didn’t stop him.

“we’ll only have one shot,” he said. his voice just above a breath. your knees were touching now, shoulder to shoulder.

“when the lights cut out after the next game. there’s a thirty-second delay before the door seals.”

“how do you know?”

he glanced at you.

“i’ve been watching the lights for six nights in a row. always the same.”

you looked ahead again. heart tight and full.

“we’ll need a distraction.”

“i can make one.”

your head turned. slowly. “you?”

he shrugged. “i’ve got one of the guards’ keycards. swiped it while he put someone in one of those boxes”

your eyes widened.

he met your gaze. steady. dead calm.

like it was just another part of the plan.

you exhaled, shaking your head a little.

“you’re insane. what would i do without you”

his mouth twitched. just a fraction.

“maybe a little.” he didn't say anything to the other half.

then quieter, “but if it gets you out…”

you stared at him.

his voice was different now. not sharp. not cool.

like something cracked under the surface and never quite sealed over.

“do you trust me?” you asked. quiet. not teasing. just curious.

in-ho didn’t look at you right away. just nodded once, slow.

“i do.”

your throat tightened.

too full. too much.

“you shouldn’t, out of all people here you're crazy for choosing me” you said, even softer.

but he just looked at you then. really looked.

“i do anyway. and i have my reasons for you” he said with a smirk. you couldn't read him this time.

you didn’t mean to reach for him. but your fingers found his anyway.

you held each other. just for a second.

you slept pressed closer that night.

your heart was in your throat, pulse in your ears.

because now it wasn’t just a dream. the escape was real, so was he.

and so was the feeling you didn’t have a name for yet. the way your chest hurt when you looked at him too long, and the way your hands didn’t shake anymore when he was beside you.

you didn’t say it. but you thought it.

and you hoped that he felt it too.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

the morning of the next game, everything felt too bright.

you barely slept. your eyes had closed, but your brain never shut off. your hand had stayed wrapped around in-ho’s under the blanket until the last second. neither of you said it out loud, but you knew.

tonight. it had to be tonight.

you ate in silence. not because there was nothing to say, but because the guards were watching closer now. maybe they felt the shift too.

the game room was white. blinding. a noise like static hung in the air.

game four: balance.

narrow glass bridges. thirty feet high. the floor was nothing but mist.

the rules were simple. one step wrong and you fall.

you and in-ho weren’t in the same group.

your heart dropped when they split you again.

he didn’t flinch. didn’t fight it.

just met your eyes once. a look you could still feel on your skin.

you were third in line. the first two fell.

shattered glass. muffled screams.

you made it halfway before the player behind you shouted out the pattern. somehow, they’d guessed. or maybe it was luck. didn’t matter.

you moved fast. you survived.

when your feet hit solid ground again, your knees buckled — but only for a second.

and then you were scanning the next group. your eyes wild.

until you saw him.

in-ho.

walking the same line you had.

step by step. slow. careful. solid.

your fists were clenched so tight they shook.

but he made it.

he made it.

and when he reached you — he didn’t even say anything. just breathed once. low. shallow. and touched your arm. once.

the signal.

tonight.

lights went out fast.

your hands were already shaking.

not from fear, not exactly. but from the pressure of knowing this was the only shot.

you lay still. counted your breaths. waited for the hum of the main lights dying out.

in-ho moved first. silent. you followed.

the dorm was a different world at night. red shadows. snoring. coughing. shifting bodies.

you crossed the floor fast and low, ducking behind bunks, slipping into blind spots. your heart was hammering.

then you reached it.

the panel.

in-ho dropped to one knee, pried the edge with the spoon, teeth clenched. it made a quiet pop.

your breath hitched.

the panel opened.

a narrow crawl space. black as the inside of a coffin.

but it was open.

“go,” he whispered.

you shook your head. “you first.”

“no time—”

“i'm not leaving without you.”

a beat.

then he nodded. and crawled in.

you followed, closing the panel behind you.

the air was thick. warm. wires and dust. metal scraping your arms.

it hurt, it was scratching you, ripping the fabric of your clothes, but you kept moving.

his foot touched yours once. not rushed. just a signal.

the crawlspace led to a junction box. in-ho used the stolen keycard. the panel beeped — green.

the door clicked.

you pushed it open and spilled out into a narrow corridor. industrial. real.

outside the game.

you almost cried, but there wasn’t time.

sirens were starting.

in-ho grabbed your wrist. “run.”

so you did.

shoes slapping concrete. breath burning your lungs.

the alarms got louder. shouts behind you.

but the air smelled different here. not blood. not metal. outside.

you turned a corner, and there it was — a service door. rusted but open.

you crashed through it together.

into the night.

sky. stars. air that didn’t feel recycled.

you stumbled. collapsed onto gravel.

in-ho dropped beside you. breathing hard.

no one spoke.

your hand found his, he squeezed once.

and for the first time in days, weeks even, you felt the world tilt back into place.

you weren't safe yet. but you were closer to becoming free.

and you were still holding on.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

you didn’t stop running until the ground turned to sand.

the compound vanished behind you like a fever dream — red lights, steel doors, the echo of alarms still ringing in your bones.

in-ho’s hand never left yours. not once.

the island was bigger than you expected. cliffs to the east, forest to the west, and the sea stretching out in every direction. you didn’t speak. couldn’t.

not until you reached the treeline and collapsed behind a wall of brush, lungs heaving, hearts racing.

he dropped beside you, back against a tree. his hand let go of yours — but barely.

you sat like that for a while. silent. not hiding from guards anymore — just the weight of everything.

“we’ll need a boat,” he said eventually. low. steady.

you glanced over. “you know how to drive one?”

he gave a soft huff of a laugh. “no. but i’ll figure it out.”

you almost smiled.

you stayed hidden during the day. moved at night. the island had patrols, but the patterns were lazy — whoever ran this place didn’t expect anyone to make it this far.

by the third night, you found the dock.

empty. silent. apart from one small boat tied loosely to the side, the engine quiet and dusty.

you didn’t ask how he hotwired it. didn’t ask where he got the rusted wrench. just kept watch while he worked.

and when the motor finally stuttered to life. you were already climbing in beside him.

you didn’t speak as the island faded behind you.

you just watched him — the set of his jaw. the way the moonlight hit the edge of his throat. the way his hands never shook, even now.

you dozed curled against his side once the engine settled into rhythm.

his arm wrapped around your back before he even realized he’d done it.

you landed somewhere near dawn.

not the mainland. not yet. just another stretch of coast — a forgotten edge of the peninsula, thick with pine and quiet roads.

he carried you for a while after you stumbled in the sand. didn’t tease. didn’t speak.

just held you like something he wasn’t ready to let go of yet.

you found shelter in an old storm shelter near the cliffs. empty. untouched. dry.

and that night, with your backs to the concrete and your bodies aching, you finally let the quiet fall away.

“you okay?” you asked, your voice hoarse from salt and silence.

he didn’t answer at first. just reached for your hand. found it easily. didn’t let go.

“i wasn’t,” he said. “but i think i’m getting there.”

you looked at him. really looked. “me too.”

he moved a little closer. his thigh brushed yours. then his shoulder. then finally — his forehead touched yours, just for a second.

“you saved me,” you said.

he shook his head.

“no,” he whispered. “we saved each other.”

and that night, on the floor of a place that smelled like dust and freedom, you kissed him slow.

not because you had to. not because it might be your last.

but because you could.

because you were alive.

and because for the first time, you weren’t running anymore.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

the first few weeks were the hardest.

they didn’t talk much. didn’t sleep much either. flinched every time a car backfired or a shadow moved too quickly outside the window.

but they were alive.

and that meant everything.

sometimes, in the quiet moments between running and hiding, he would cup your face with both hands and whisper, “you’re here.”

and you’d nod. press your forehead to his. “so are you.”

you made it to the mainland by hitching rides, walking for hours, ducking behind buildings when headlights passed too slow.

in-ho handled most of it. talking to strangers, stealing what needed stealing.

you just stayed close. watched his back. touched his arm when his hands started shaking. held his pinky finger when yours did.

you found an apartment on the edge of nowhere. a top-floor place with no working heater, flickering lights, and a view of a concrete alley.

it was run down, only 300,000 won a month. but it was perfect.

because no one asked questions.

the first night there, you didn’t even unroll the blanket. you just sat on the floor, stealing kisses and holding each other until sleep finally came.

not because you weren’t scared. but because being scared together was safer than being apart.

by week two, in-ho had taped blackout paper over the windows. you found an old space heater and a second-hand kettle.

he made you instant noodles and handed you the bowl like it was sacred.

you cried eating it. not because of the plastic flavor that made you die inside every time you had a mouthful.

but just because he was here.

you started sleeping again. really sleeping.

waking up to warm skin and tangled legs and his voice, soft and quiet, telling you, “you looked peaceful. i didn’t want to move.”

sometimes you caught him looking at you.

he never looked away fast enough.

“what?” you’d whisper.

and he’d smile. small. tired. “you're just beautiful.”

you didn’t talk about the games. not ever.

instead, you talked about dumb things. music you missed. snacks you wanted to eat again. one time you tried to explain a movie based on a trailer you barely remembered, he accused you of making it up, so you tackled him onto the mattress.

you shared one bed. too narrow. perfect anyway.

he kissed your shoulder in the mornings. pressed his lips to your hair when you couldn’t stop shaking. touched your waist like it was home.

sometimes, you kissed his scars. just softly. a promise. sometimes, he kissed yours.

on the days when the world came back heavy — debts, memories, hunger — you curled into each other. forehead to chest. chest to spine. hands in hair.

“i’ve got you,” he said once.

you believed him.

he got a job under a fake name. dishwashing at some late-night joint. came home exhausted, burn marks on his wrists.

you made him sit while you cleaned the cuts. told him he was your favorite criminal. he rolled his eyes. let you kiss the corner of his mouth.

you got a job too. quiet work: babysitting, cleaning. but long hours.

he walked you there the first few times. waited nearby until you waved through the glass.

you cooked together. badly.

burned rice. boiled eggs until they cracked. he accidentally used salt instead of sugar once and tried to pretend it was on purpose.

you threw your spoon at him. he dodged. you kissed him anyway.

some nights, the lights flickered.

you froze.

but his hand always found yours. every time.

“we’re out,” he whispered.

“i know.” but it still helped to hear it.

on your six-month-out day, he brought home a crushed matcha cake from a bakery you had mentioned a while ago.

you cried. he kissed your tears.

“thank you,” you whispered into his neck.

“for what?”

“for saving me.”

he pulled you closer. kissed the spot just behind your ear.

“you saved me first.”

you fell asleep with your head on his chest, his hand on your waist. fingers drawing little shapes into your shirt like a lullaby.

you still didn’t have a name for this.

for the way your chest ached when you looked at him or the way the world quieted when he touched you.

but maybe you didn’t need one.

because he felt it too. you could see it in his eyes.

after everything, that was enough. and maybe it was just the beginning.

━━━━━━━━ 〇△□ ━━━━━━━━

authors note: hii!! first post on here :3 i don’t usually write anything with this much plot so pls be nice!! i normally stick to smut but this one kind of just happened and now here we are. this is my take on in-ho as a player during the 2015 games (aka he’s not the front man here), and it’s soft, slow burn, trauma-healing fluff bc they deserve peace

thank you for reading!!

also pls feel free to leave any feedback or send requests or really anything in my inbox. i love hearing from ppl 💌

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 003

| seo-han’s pov |

fucking hell. what the fuck was this place.

masked guards, kids’ games, ridiculous tracksuits. if i hadn’t been there feeling every bit of it, i would have thought it was a dream.

«congratulations for making it through the first game» the square guard said. «here are the results of the first game.»

the numbers in the huge screen above us changed. 365 player. that’s who we were for them, players.

«out of 456 players, 91 have been eliminated.»

i looked around the room just to see the others reactions. most of them were scared, someone started begging for their life and then, everyone.

now they understood, they regretted their choices and the survival instincts took control of them. they all looked like beasts in cages, humiliating themselves now that their lives were in danger.

i smiled, laughed a bit. they really preferred going back to their shitty houses, if they even had one, chased by their debts, running from responsibilities than dying here? death would solve all their problems, wouldn’t it?

i pitied them.

«clause three of the consent form.» again, player 456. was he playing the hero? who the hell was he? «the games may be terminated upon a majority vote.»

ah, that’s his goal: save everyone.

we were going to vote, but i had no intention of voting to leave. be selfish, that’s what i taught myself. care about your own well being.

player 456 was an interesting one, he made everything more entertaining.

the square guard agreed with him, but first he would show us the prize after the first game.

9.1 billion won. each one of us valued 100.000 won.

the guards weren’t stupid, they knew what they were doing. showing those people the prize before voting would make them change their minds.

because humans are greedy, and money win over everything.

i could see it on their faces, their expressions changed, their pupils dilated, the once upside down lips curved into smirks.

humans are greedy, selfish, opportunists.

and i was there, admiring their inevitabile downfall with no fear of dying.

now began the vote.

«if you wish to continue the games, press the 0 button. if you wish to end them, press the X button.»

player 456 was the first to vote. he made his way towards the two buttons, then pressed X, of course. the guards gave him a red patch with an X.

some people voted to stay, others to leave, there wasn’t a big difference between the two sides.

until caos exploded again, still due to player 456. he was determined, it made me ick. i wasn’t even paying attention to him, to his words, to the other’s response. i just wanted to vote.

i was in my own world, all these voices made my head hurt.

they were arguing, but for what? for a vote that was already decided? you can’t change people’s minds like that, scaring them wouldn’t work. number 456 was waisting time for people who didn’t deserve anything.

the guards intervened, the vote continued.

finally, it was my turn. the walk to the buttons seemed longer each step i took. both sides cheered for me to vote their side. once i was right before the two buttons, i turned my head towards player 456.

we made eye contact, hope filled his eyes, even if his mouth was shut, he was screaming for me to vote X.

i smirked, then pressed 0. the 0’s screamed in joy. i gave 456 one last look before grabbing the blue patch and walking towards my side.

in the end, it was a draw. 182 - 182.

player 001 was the last one to vote. i looked at him while he debated what to choose, low-key hoping for him to vote to stay.

at that right moment i realized how much i wanted to stay. i couldn’t accept losing what i’ve been searching for my entire life.

player 001, if you fucking vote to leave…

no, he wouldn’t. we couldn’t go back now, right?

my heartbeat accelerated, i started to sweat. i closed my eyes, i couldn’t see.

then, the 0’s cheered. i opened my eyes wide, he chose to stay. a sigh of relief left my mouth, we will play the next game.

i looked at player 456, he seemed defeated.

that’s what you get for putting too much faith in people.

then, i looked at player 001, who was still there, enjoying the mess he created. our eyes locked.

he studied me with an intensity that made me feel naked under his gaze. i returned the look, and gave him a knowing smirk.

then, i turned around, walking back to my bed.

—

the guarda were serving us food, finally. i was starving. it wasn’t much, just a bottle of water and some eggs.

while eating in silence, seated on my bed, i scanned the room. most of the others already found someone to team with, but i didn’t. however, i had someone in mind.

player 456, the wannabe hero. teaming with him would make this way easier, since he already played the games. but i had another reason.

we were opposites, he desperately wanted to leave, and i desperately wanted to stay. i wanted to understand his point of view, why trying to stop this, why going for his inevitable downfall.

because i already knew what will happen to him, to his determination. he would fail, and the games would win.

still, i walked over him, not caring to interrupt the conversation he was having with other players. player 001 was there too, but i didn’t even get time to get there, the group behind him walked off. they were disappointed, but for what? what were they talking about?

«may i ask you something?» i heard player 001 say. but before he could continue, i interrupted him. «hey, hero.» i said, looking directly at player 456.

i stopped next to player 001, we again exchanged a look, then i glanced back at 456. «can i join your team? you’re the funniest out there.» i admitted sincerely.

he gave me a confused look, «funniest? what do you mean?» he lowered his gaze to the number on my tracksuit, then to the blue patch. «ah, player 017, i remember you.»

i was surprised, did we have any interaction beside the eye contact during the vote? «you’re a stubborn one, i can’t tell if it’s bravery or you’re just careless.» that made me laugh, «see? i knew you were funny. so, can i join the team?»

his friend spoke, player 390. «of course. what’s your name?» i crossed my arms, «shin seo-han.»

i could feel player 001’s gaze burning on me. i turned towards him nonchalantly, like i caught him in the act, «i suggest we all share our names, you know, we’re a team, right?» i said to everyone, but looking only at him.

he smiled, but that wasn’t a sincere one, it was sinister, mocking. «sure.» he didn’t got to say anything else, because someone interrupted us.

player 388. a boy, innocent face, an angel if you only cared to see on the surface. «sorry, i overheard your conversation.» he laughed it off, «but you’re right. we need a team, and i’ll be with you all the way.»

«who are you?» player 390 asked him, «i’m dae-ho, kang dae-ho.» the two of them started to talk about the marines, since both of them had been in it.

i scoffed and seated next to player 456, and player 001 followed me soon after. «player 456.» 001 said, «why did you come back to this place, if you already won?»

ah, yes. that started to be interesting.

«you must have received 45.6 billion won, did you spend it all?» i listened in silence, trying to get as more information as possible.

not that i will use them anywhere, it was just so i could understand him better. he wasn’t like everyone else, i felt it.

«that money doesn’t belong to me. it’s bloody money for the people who died here and the same goes for the money up there.» he explained, and that actually made sense.

«you don’t have to think about it that way, it’s not like you killed those people.» player 001 answered. it made sense too.

456 looked at both our blue patches, he was disappointed, but still not surrendered. «if you had pressed the X, everyone here would’ve made it out alive.»

i clenched my jaw, i was biting back a bitter response, one that would have made my reputation worse than it was. anyway, i still said something, «it wasn’t just us, others 181 pressed the 0.»

both men looked at me, «they decided to stay, they signed their own deal with the devil, and we did too.» my tone became harsher, «what’s your real goal here? what do you want?»

456’s eyes widened, he did not expect that to leave my mouth.

i couldn’t let him ruin everything.

«player 017.» i heard 001 call me. i turned my head towards him, my eyes full of something even i didn’t know how to explain.

enjoyment, anger, whatever it was.

«who are you?»

why did he ask me this? i already told them. «i’m seo-han, why?»

and that seemed to shut him up.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 002

| seo-han’s pov |

they showed us a giant piggy bank, its orange light illuminating the entire room. the square guard explained there was where the prize will be stored, but i didn’t care about it.

the prize they were talking about was money, and i didn’t need it.

the money will accumulate in the piggy bank after each of the six games we were supposed to play.

i wondered, what kind of games we were going to play. everything sounded so exciting, finally. it’s like seeing colors for the first time, an inexplicably feeling.

my stomach hurt, my legs felt like jelly, my smile didn’t leave my mouth even for a second. to the others, it may have been for the prize, but to me it was way deeper.

it was for me. that smile was the first true ever. it wasn’t forced, not something to please others, to make them see i was there, present. it was genuine, my lips moved on their own. i was smiling for myself.

45.6 billion won. that was the prize.

a lot, life changing for the winner.

but to me, it meant nothing. i wasn’t there to win, i was there to have fun for the first time. whatever we were going to do i knew i would have enjoyed it.

«you will be given a chance to vote on whether to continue the games or not.» the square said.

that got my attention. i clenched my jaw.

«if the majority votes to stop the games, you can leave with the prize money accumulated up to that point.»

i got nervous. stop the games? no… i couldn’t accept that.

leaving the games meant going back to that boring-ass life, living the same day everyday, with nobody on your side. this feeling would stop, and i will eventually be empty, cold, distant, again.

i didn’t want that to happen, i wanted to stay here even if it meant dying.

well, i hoped not to die, since i still desired to live. but you never know.

it didn’t matter what, i couldn’t let these strangers deprive me of what i most craved in my entire life.

even if it meant killing for it. killing for my own happiness.

«if you wish to participate in the games, please sign the player consent form.» i heard the square guard say.

fuck yes, i was going to play these games.

seven lines were made, each people waiting to sign the paper. my hands sweated, waiting only to sign that damn thing.

when my turn arrived, i hurried to sign it, not even caring to read what i was allowing them to do. i smiled at the circle guard who gave me no reaction, but i didn’t mind.

i was in, there was no turning back now. it was okay though, i wasn’t scared.

excitement blurred my vision, adrenaline was the only thing guiding me there, my body responded, my mind too. but it was all an illusion, i was definitely not thinking straight anymore.

driven by desire, or selfishness? who cared. i chose that, i wasn’t regretting anything.

—

they guided us outside the room, through an infinite amount of stairs. that place was a fucking maze, a pink, yellow and blue giant labyrinth.

«THE FIRST GAME WILL BEGIN MOMENTARILY» the speaker announced.

we needed to have a picture taken before following the staff’s instructions and proceed to the first game. once in front of the camera, a smiling face encouraged me to smile.

i looked right into the camera and smiled brightly. i would ask for that picture lately, just to keep it.

we were led into an enormous field, it looked unreal. the walls were painted to imitate the sky, there were even clouds. but what really got my attention was a tall fucking doll, and behind that thing a tree.

what did it mean? what game was that?

«WELCOME TO THE FIRST GAME.»

the gates behind us were closed. there was no escape to this.

i took a moment to prevent this game, but nothing came up to my mind. i could only wait for more information.

«THE FIRST GAME IS RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT.»

what? a children’s game? why were we supposed to play that shit?

i tried not to get too disappointed, or i would totally lose interest in this.

i feared it, i was fucking scared of losing interest. this was my only hope for true entertainment, they couldn’t disappoint me like this.

i was hoping it would get more interesting.

«CROSS THE FINISH LINE IN FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT.» i was listening to the speaking really carefully, but someone distracted me.

i was pushed aside by a man, he seemed in a hurry, fear pretty evident in his eyes. the man rushed before us, then he started screaming, «everyone, listen up! pay attention!»

at first i thought he was crazy, or high. but i changed my mind when a smirk crossed my lips.

thank god i didn’t lose hope in these games. it was getting really interesting.

«this is not just a game! if you lose the game, you die!»

my eyes widened, but my smile was still there.

dying, huh? somehow i was right after all.

«if they catch you moving, they will kill you!» the man kept saying the same thing, trying to convince the others.

they weren’t believing him at all. but they were right, why would we die by playing a kids’ game?

i knew better, i believed that poor man. the real question was: why would he lie? those people thought about it too little, but they would pay for their carelessness eventually.

except i’ve been careless too. i acted impulsively, not caring, not thinking.

i called that number on the card without turning back.

i signed that paper without reading the terms.

and i let the adrenaline guide me.

i got too excited, and i would pay too.

happiness is not forever, as they say.

«the doll’s eyes are motion detectors!» i felt bad for him, but there was nothing i could do to help him.

the doll moved. it turned around and lifted an arm to cover its eyes. the game was going to begin soon.

«no matter what happens, do not panic and start running!» so cold-blooded, huh? i could do that part really well.

in places like this you must care about no one. you look at no one’s eyes. you only go for your way, and care about yourself.

there’s no space for sentimentalism here. if you interact with someone, always make sure not to get too attached.

but that’s what i did for my entire life, could i do it again?

of course i could. from now on, i would only look out for myself. for my happiness.

the game started. we had five minutes of time to reach the other line.

«green light!»

the man, who’s number was 456, didn’t move, while the others, including me, jogged forward.

then, the doll’s head turned around. «red light!»

everybody stopped moving, «freeze!» number 456 shouted.

fuck, that was exciting. i never felt so alive.

«well done! you just need to stay calm like this!» the man kept on praising us, trying to guide the crowd. «we just have to move and stop at the right time.»

«green light.» we all moved forward. i ran a little faster than the others. again, my body was moving on its own.

«red light.» and we froze. number 456 kept shouting us to freeze, he was making the game even more funny.

some other round followed and still no one was killed. the sense of danger is what made me move, the fear of dying, or adrenaline.

whatever it was, i was going to survive this game. six games they said, well, i intended to finish them all.

again, not for the money, but so that my interest and real entertainment last longer.

anyway, the real caos was about to begin. a girl screamed and moved while the doll was looking at us. such a stupid decision. if the man was telling the truth, that girl would die in a couple of seconds.

and he didn’t disappoint me. a shot was fired and the sound of it echoed in the field.

others then followed. panic took the lead of their bodies, not letting them focus. shot after shot, all those who moved died. 456’s words were vane now, none of them was listening to him. however, those who stayed still survived, those who could still control their body and mind.

«LET ME REPEAT. YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD WHEN THE TAGGER SHOUTS “GREEN LIGHT, RED LIGHT. IF YOUR MOVEMENT IS DETECTED AFTERWARD, YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED.»

no one dared to speak. now they believed him, huh.

in the next round, finally number 456 moved before everyone, still willing to guide us. «you’ll also die if you don’t make it there in time. the doll is a motion detector, get behind someone bigger.»

i had no intention of hiding behind a stranger, i was not scared of those snipers. i would reach the end alone, counting on myself only.

in the next rounds more people got shot, someone was even pushed voluntarily. i got closer to 456, almost next to him. ne seemed to notice me, and decided to speak to me, «what are you doing? get behind someone!»

i smirked, «fuck that, i’ll get there on my own.» i spoke quietly.

«green light.» i ran, surpassing everyone. i was some steps ahead of the others and i was determined to be the first to cross that line.

and i fucking was, followed soon after by the others.

i cared about nothing else, no one else. my breath was heavy, sweat running down my forehead, my heartbeat accelerated.

but i felt good.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

chapter 001

| in-ho’s pov |

calling it a regular day might have been a lie, but saying it was totally special was false as well. let’s just say i was too deep into it to care like a few years back.

the day before the beginning of the games became nothing, for me at least. no anxiety, no excitement, no pleasure. just watching, keeping the vips entertained and giving the winners their prize.

becoming too used to this made me feel nothing at all. like forty hundred people weren’t dying right in front of my eyes, like i wasn’t responsible for their deaths, claiming instead that i gave them a choice, so it was their own endgame.

opposing to the games was too difficult, it was way easier to admit their fairness and arranging them again the next year without complaining.

i was the host, after all. the frontman. the vips were my guests and it was my job to make them happy. and to make them happy i had to put on the games. but explaining it like this may make the system look easy.

actually, it wasn’t as easy as it sounded, and it’s too difficult to explain.

the future players were asleep on their beds and we were all waiting just for them to wake up and realize where they were.

it was always the same story. it almost made me bored.

but i knew this year would be funny. for the first time in years, watching the games would have been finally pleasant.

seong gi-hun was back after three years. what was his goal? what did he accomplish by joining the games again? i’ll figure it out very soon.

my office was always the same. all black, the chandelier emanating a golden light. my armchair perfectly positioned in front of a huge screen. next to me, a small table. on it a bottle of vodka and a glass, when i was watching the games my own black mask would be joining them too. right now, it was right there.

then, a desk where a computer and an old fashioned telephone were placed. that computer was essential, it held all the files of the players that i didn’t even bother reading anymore.

but this year, i red gi-hun’s one.

the usual sound of the elevator reaching my office made me stop sipping on my drink. i waited patiently for my right arm to tell me whatever he had to say.

i could hear his hurriedly steps, until he reached my side.

i turned my head towards him, his square mask always on, his black suit distinguished him from the rest of the guards. «sir.» he spoke. «we have an anomaly.»

i took a deep breath, not expecting anything like that. we never had anomalies, the only one after all this years was gi-hun’s return to the games.

however, this was different. i could feel it.

«what do you mean?» i asked, only to encourage him to continue, and he did. «a player that wasn’t invited is here.»

my gaze lifted up to him. now that really got my complete attention. «the one who was supposed to be player 017 seems to have decided not to participate.» he continued, «but another player 017 is here, and she’s not who it was supposed to be.»

i listened to his every word and waited a few seconds before answering. i needed time to elaborate, to decide what to do with this impostor.

«open player 017’s file.» i said. it was an order, loud and clear. he lost no time in hesitation and sit on the chair to search her file on the computer. i stood up from the armchair and made my way closer to him, to see myself what was written in that paper.

once he found it, he clicked on it, and player 017’s face and name popped up on the screen.

shin seo-han

a normal looking woman was exactly what i saw, but would that appearance match who she really was, or was it just a distraction?

what was she doing here if she hadn’t been invited? how did she find the card? but most importantly, why did shin seo-han join the games?

on the file there was written that she wasn’t in debt, she had a totally regular financial situation, she had a job and a nice looking house.

i was still reading her file, when my right arm’s voice remembered me that he was still there. waiting. «what do we do with her, sir?» he asked. i didn’t show a single sign of disturbance, like the situation wasn’t affecting me at all.

i thought a lot, maybe too much. what to do with her?

shin seo-han shouldn’t be here, she was not invited to play. i kept looking straight at her face, like it would help me with my decision.

player 017 was given a choice: to participate to the games or not. he decided not to play, which was really unusual.

i wondered, was it his own decision or did someone else order him to refuse the offer?

in any case, the current player 017, shin seo-han, decided to take part in these games of her own free will, even though she probably didn’t know where she was setting her foot in.

«keep her in the games.» i gave my final judgement. i could see my right arm shift in his place, he didn’t agree with me. «i want to understand why she is here.» i explained myself better, even though there was no need.

«do you think she might be someone—» i cut him off, «who knows.» i relaxed my shoulders, moving towards the small table, reaching again for my drink. «we just have to wait and see.»

it was her own choice to join the games, and i was going to respect it.

unbelievable, the games this year were becoming more and more entertaining.

two players to keep my eyes on: seong gi-hun and shin seo-han. i couldn’t wait.

| seo-han’s pov |

classical music was the first thing that reached my ears when i woke up from what i thought had been a long dream. my body felt different, that clearly wasn’t my bed and that was not my alarm.

i opened my eyes slowly, and still half asleep i tried to make out where i was. i sat, yawned and stretched a little. i wasn’t alone, i could feel it by hearing other people’s voices, unknown people and unknown voices.

after i gained more consciousness, i examined myself. i wasn’t wearing my pajamas but a green and white tracksuit, printed on it there was a number.

017.

i looked around the big room, the others were numbered too. each one of us was a number.

i got up from bed and went down the stairs. all around that room were placed lots of beds, mine was neither too high nor too low.

the others were gathering at the center of the room, confused as much as me. the music wouldn’t even stop and it fucking started to piss me off.

not understanding what was going on both excited me and annoyed me.

a huge closed door made it impossible for us for escape, just like the absence of windows. were we trapped?

then i noticed it: a screen. a number was shown, 456. would it mean we were 456 people in here?

suddenly, the doors opened. some pink-dressed guards made their way into the room. their masks were eye catching, black with different shapes designed on them: some of them a triangle, some others a circle, and only one guard a square.

i bit my lower lip, this was going to be fun, i could feel it.

«i would like to extend a hearty welcome to all of you.» the square guard said, his voice muffled due to his mask. «everyone here will participate in six different games over six days.»

the room was silent, but i could hear my own heartbeat pounding into my chest. have i found it? what will have my full attention from beginning to end.

was this it?

«those who win all six games will receive a handsome cash prize.»

i wasn’t sure i was even listening to the guard’s words, and i totally wasn’t participating in the argument who followed them soon after, started by one of the peoples.

i lowered my head, which felt too heavy to hold. i couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on my lips from growing bigger. i was sweating from head to toe, shivering too.

for the first time ever, i felt the adrenaline rush in my body, making it real, hot and alive. i burned inside, the blood was boiling, but not from anger, it was something else.

it was danger, i knew this place was dangerous and i didn’t care.

the sense of danger made me feel alive, full, warm.

i didn’t feel anymore that emptiness, coldness, like i was a walking dead, kept alive only by my body, not by the consciousness of being present.

now i felt it all.

that day was the day shin seo-han started living for the first time.

and nobody was going to take away that feeling from me.

i would have made sure of it.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

cast

✦ . 　⁺ 　 ☁️ . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ☀️

go youn-jung as shin seo-han

✦ . 　⁺ 　 ☁️ . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ☀️

lee byung-hun as hwang in-ho

prologue

a human being can feel different emotions.

joy. desperation. obsession. guilt.

but have you ever wondered what the worst one is?

if you think too little, your first response might be sadness. so, what if you think about it on a deeper level?

boredom.

it eats you up from the inside, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. when you’re bored the only thing you crave is doing something you like doing. however, even doing that one thing you enjoy eventually bores you.

that’s the loop. constant boredom.

and it's even worse when you like nothing at all.

no hobbies, no friends, no distractions.

how do you overcome boredom?

i’ve been trying for my whole life, only for me to fail over and over again. i have no memories of happy moments, no memories of dear people, i can only remember my useless researches of real entertainment.

my parents never helped me at all, they didn't care, too busy with their own life. but having no support didn't stop me.

i was always trying to fit in, i tried my best; at school, at university, at work. as a teenager i even joined stranger's parties to look for some friends. but nothing worked. i got bored too quickly and left, just for the loop to start over again.

i felt so empty, so cold, so distant from everything and everyone, and i knew it. i was conscious, i understood what was happening, but never what was wrong with me. why couldn't i live a normal life like everyone else? why wasn't i able to enjoy the smallest things, like going to the cinema, a trip, or a birthday party?

it made me sick, it almost brought me to end myself but i didn't, because unfortunatelly i wanted to live. i couldn't give up, not yet.

if only i hadn't been conscious, i would have felt less guilty. perhaps that was my punishment; watching and feeling my own downfall, because i was never strong enough to prevent it.

but how could i prevent it? i was just a kid...

life's really a bitch. so hard for no reason.

reaching my thirties wasn’t a joyful time. instead, yet another defeat. i was thirty and my life still sucked socially talking, and every day was a fucking loop.

financially talking, it was great. i had a decent job, since i worked in an office. i had no problems with money; i could afford a house, a car, and even good clothes.

speaking of work, i was heading home from work and since my car was being repaired, i had to take the subway. while waiting for it to arrive, i caught something with the corner of my eye.

i've never seen anything like that, it was the weirdest, but at the same time interesting thing, i've ever seen.

a man in a suit playing ddakji with another man, most likely a homeless. but that wasn't just ddakji, it was different. if the man in suit succeded in flipping the blue ddakji, the other would be slapped. on the other hand, if the homeless managed to flip the red one, he would receive 100.000 won.

even if the subway arrived, i couldn't take my eyes off of that scene.

it got my attention.

it wasn't regular, it wasn't something you see everyday. that's what made it different.

would that be what i've been looking for?

i couldn't let it slip away from me, not so easily. whatever that was i would have found out, no matter what.

finally, the men stopped. before leaving, the one with the suitcase handed the homeless man what it seemed to be a business card. he looked at it, turned it around to look at the other side, and eventually just threw it away, as if he didn't care.

my feet moved by themselves, i made an impulsive decision. i picked up the card from the ground and looked at it myself. three geometric shapes, a circle, a triangle, and a square. on the other side, a number; 8650 4006.

without thinking about it too much, i kept the card with me, promising myself that i would call the number once i arrived home.

i had nothing left to lose anyway, and i wouldn't have backed out now that i felt real curiosity about something.

i tried everything i could, and nothing could stop me from trying this too.

[bazaba]

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧-𝐡𝐨

❝𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴?❞

❝𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚❞

🪁

shin seo-han never experienced something that could really catch her attention. she would get bored too quickly and leave it there. seo-han felt empty, cold, adrenaline was a feeling she never got to feel. all that angered her, but at the same time she never lost hope. she knew that someday, something would truly intrest her, from beginning to end. so she waited, and waited, until she reached her thirties. and seo-han was right. spying on that random man playing ddakji with another man was the best choice she ever made.

warnings: angst, dark themes, toxic love, manipulation, depression, betrayal, slow burn, smut

author’s note: soo this is my first time writing on tumblr and i’m still learning how to use it. be kind🙏🏻. i really love lee byung-hun, my man fr and i wanted to do something different about the female li from the usual fanfics i’ve read about player 001, so this idea came to my mind and i decided to write it down. most importantly, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!!! so please, if there are any mistakes correct me. i’m still learning english and i’d be very happy if you could teach me when i make some grammatical errors or things like that.

ENJOY!🩵

parts:

000

001

002

003

004

005

006

007

008

[bazaba]

youth is never coming back🪬

welcome! remember, those are your best years and enjoy them by doing whatever you want.

you can ask me any questions freely!

english is not my first language!!

currently obsessed with squid game and the frontman…

masterlist:

insatiable | hwang in-ho

🩵.