beefxalto

[beefxalto]

for every horrible thing sukuna has done, not only did kenjaku indirectly (or directly) facilitate that behavior, he did it himself 500 years earlier

It’s highkey pissing me awf that people are constantly conflating Sukuna with Kenjaku who is the true evil of the story 💔🖤

[beefxalto]

(i miss you too mag ❤️‍🩹)

ladies ladies leave me alone type shift

@x4nd3rlol no pressure pal

Saw this going around twitter, looked like fun. What? I'm not procrastinating (I am, I really am)

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz

Post the results side-by-side. No pressure tags: @alypink, @revnah1406, @madefordvarka, @deadbranch, @welldonekhushi, @kaitaiga, @applbottmjeens, @froglights-and-pearls

[beefxalto]

Happy pride

[beefxalto]

[beefxalto]

“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo

I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.

You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….

[beefxalto]

Gay Squared or something

I started this as a joke but now I’m seriously thinking about InuKamo’s secondary genders. (I don’t consume enough omegaverse to know what I’m talking about so take everything I say with a grain of salt)

First of all, neither of them can be omegas. I’m not omegaphobic or anything, I just feel like there’s specific character archetypes that get casted as omegas, and Kamo and Inumaki don’t fit any of them. They have to be either Betas or Alphas.

Inumaki could swing either way and nothing would really change, but I’m genuinely tearing my skin off over Kamo’s second gender.

If Kamo is an alpha, that adds a level of reproductive pressure to the plot. He’s the next head of the Kamo clan and will be expected to marry and sire heirs and whatnot, and presenting as an alpha would turn that into an inevitable rather than just a thing that his father wants from him. And that makes him knowingly (or unknowingly, i might make them e-date) falling for a beta that much more impactful because there is outside pressure railing against them being together (Mai included because she’s a bitch). Kamo will be forced to take a risk: leave his entire family and the real world behind for a stranger on the internet, or pass up on the world’s greatest first love so he can marry a woman and be unhappy for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, B!Kamo has sufficient interest. Imagine this: Kamo presents his secondary gender and it isn’t either of the useful ones (to my knowledge only alphas and omegas can do the mpreg thing), so he starts feeling the crushing weight of his family’s disappointment on top of their already-apparent disdain for his existence! And nobody he knows is taking his side because he’s not really friends with the other Kyoto kids, and even if he was, betas (to my knowledge and according to me) are like second-class citizens. So he starts seeking companionship on the internet and just happens to start e-dating Inumaki on [platform that I will choose later].

However, this is opening the door for toxic yaoi because of Kamo’s undoubtedly poor state of mind. He is not going to be thinking rationally when he decides to drop everything and move to Tokyo to be with his e-kitten (Toge IS the e-kitten). But I think Kamo’s naturally dominant personality in addition to Inumaki’s support will prevent him from experiencing too much trouble in Tokyo.

In the B!Kamo timeline, Inumaki is an alpha. I’m mostly introducing this to add an element of physical distance to their relationship post-move; Kamo won’t want to be around Inumaki during certain times of the year because he reeks of alpha pheromones and it makes him nauseous with envy. That was the gender he was destined for, after all, but a misplaced chromosome or whatever had ripped his entire future away from him. Inumaki had it, and worse than just being an alpha, he chose to do nothing with his knot.

Or. Worse timeline. It’s not that he’s choosing to do nothing with his knot, but the opportunity just hasn’t struck yet. No breedable omegas around and whatnot. But Okkotsu (YES OKKOTSU) just presented and him and Inumaki have always been close and what if something happens? Kamo is already inadequate in the physical department and he’s hardly as charismatic and sweet as Okkotsu. Something could happen. Then what? Does he go back to Kyoto? Say, “The whole online boyfriend thing didn’t work out, am I still technically a third-year here?”

Food for thot. I’m going to college btw

[beefxalto]

yes i’m reblogging myself literally sue me

I just realized that, lending credence to Theory 1, Mahito is the one who gifts Junpei his technique. Junpei has previously never seen curses or used cursed energy and literally would not be able to if he hadn’t met Mahito. So like… what if the same thing happened 2000 years ago with every other technique. Like there was a Mahito for Six Eyes, and then a Mahito for Ten Shadows, and so on and so forth.

Idk, I can’t think of any other logical explanation for how these techniques come about in the first place, because they’re not something that you just accidentally discover.

I’m not cut out for all this theorizing 💔 lowk only doing this so I can have a sound plot for Tenjaku Lesbians

I’ll be honest, I feared ridicule for this one, but after slightly refining the theory and halfway checking my work with other fans (making my friends listen to me), I think I can confidently say I was on(to) something.

Choso and Yuji Are Not Brothers.

“But Alto! Kenjaku—” Yes, I know, Kenjaku is technically responsible for their births (we’ll revisit this), but I thought of one thing. How could they be half-brothers if Kenjaku had them across different hosts? In canon, Kenjaku can’t alter anything about the bodies he takes possession of, including their DNA. It is genetically impossible for Choso and Yuji to be half-brothers.

My personal take and why they both wholeheartedly believe they’re brothers is that it’s the same thing that happened with Todo during the Goodwill Event: delusion and cursed energy. Choso fabricated the bond he had with Yuji in his head and Yuji ended up going along with it because (the one time he acknowledged Choso as his older brother) they were in a very high stakes environment, just like when Yuji eventually agreed with Todo during their fight with Hanami.

- side note: I really like that Todo and Choso’s fabricated bonds are based off the things that are most important in their lives. For Todo, that’s having a best friend, and for Choso, it’s his brothers.

But that leads me to my next point.

Kenjaku is not Choso’s Father.

This one’s a little harder to explain, but stay with me.

Even though the show says he’s the father, specifically,

“Nine times, [Noritoshi Kamo] impregnated her. Nine times, he aborted her.”

I think they also state that the woman he used was capable of bearing a cursed spirit’s child. If he wanted to get a girl pregnant the conventional way, there would be hundreds of his descendants running around. Choso is the child of a cursed spirit (biracial king).

That begs the question, why does he think Noritoshi (the evil one) is his father? Delusions. He fabricated the relationship in his head because Noritoshi Kamo was the only man present after he was born, and it is perfectly reasonable to assume that the man who is consistently present in his life is his father.

This, however, begs another question. How did Choso inherit Blood Manipulation if he isn’t related to the Kamos?

One of two things.

All Innate Techniques Are Derived From Actual Curses

Or

Even More Delusion and Cursed Energy Sharing

Theory 1:

I’ll admit that this theory makes zero sense and needs a little polishing, but it’s an interesting concept, and one that provides a reason for the fundamental difference between innate and learned techniques (ex. Ten Shadows vs Straw Doll). It also provides a source for where Choso, Eso, and Kechizu inherited Blood Manipulation. A Blood Manipulation curse!

(also using this concept for an au that’s in the works, and i’m willing to share!!! i’d love to see the people’s takes on it)

Theory 2:

I honestly just never liked believing that jujutsu talents were purely genetic. Obviously genes are important, but it also just kinda felt weird that some techniques (Six Eyes) would skip several generations for no reason. There had to be something more to it.

It’s pretty nice to think that people can pass on their techniques to their children through cursed energy bonding rather than genetics. They love (or hate) that child so much that they unknowingly imprint the most integral piece of themselves onto them. Expectation, resentment, fear, rage, these can all be things that accidentally bond two souls together. Even the indifference of a parent can be its own curse.

Kenjaku had high hopes, then higher disappointment for all of the Death Paintings, which may have imprinted Noritoshi Kamo’s technique onto each one. Now, that begs yet another question: if this is true, how come Yuji doesn’t have Anti-Gravity System? ….To be determined. YEAH THATS RIGHT I DONT KNOW but a man can dream.

[beefxalto]

i already know toge is mad as hell he couldn’t hit this emote at yuta’s wedding

[beefxalto]

I can’t be paid to watch MHA but I may watch Haikyuu in the near future if there’s this many queers in it. Anyhow.

Inukamo is so slowburn coded I had to write headcanons for their relationship (and them).

Noritoshi keeps secrets. He has this irrational fear that people he cares about will abandon him if he turns out to differ from their expectations, but he’s not paralyzed by the fear. Most people don’t even know he has the Tumblr app on his phone.

Toge eats sleeps and breathes meme references and Noritoshi has to pretend he doesn’t know any of them. On a good day he forgets not to laugh.

Toge’s dry humor is Noritoshi’s kryptonite. He’ll say the silliest shit in the world with this face (•-•) and Noritoshi has to be like (-_-) or his cover is blown.

Noritoshi really likes idol groups—and specifically idol group fanfiction—but for different reasons than normal. He just really likes the idea of a group of people united in the struggle to constantly be presenting their best selves to the world no matter what. He doesn’t tell anybody because it’s embarrassing as hell, but he doesn’t know that Toge already found him on AO3 and monitors his bookmarks because they’re both chronically online. Toge will just randomly buy him pins related to a group that he binged a series about and Noritoshi has to pretend he only wears them because Toge likes them.

Noritoshi has zero emotional intelligence (sorry kamo lovers). He never has any idea when Toge is mad at him until Panda and/or Megumi tell him, and even then he has no idea what he did.

They were both planning the first date at the same time. Noritoshi was freaking out because he hates going out but really wanted to make a good impression on Toge, and Toge tweaked because he wouldn’t know what to talk about if they went out to dinner but thought Noritoshi was way too old-fashioned for a home date. Panda ended up having to step in (he planned a function in Toge’s room and then immediately left so it would just be the two of them).

Panda is Toge’s wingman. I’m thinking Mai as Noritoshi’s wingman but they have more spite between them. Or maybe Todo. @x4nd3rlol MOOTIE HELP THEY’RE BOTH GOOD UGH WHAT DO I DO

Toge’s first impression of Noritoshi was his hair. It reminded him of a period drama with a hot star actor.

Noritoshi’s first impression of Toge was his rice ball language. He thought he was losing his mind when everyone else understood it perfectly.

Toge likes to make other people laugh so they don’t feel bad for him. He doesn’t think of his cursed speech as a burden or disability, nor does he dwell on his background as a former Inumaki clan heir too much. The last thing he wants is another person’s pity.

Neither of them talk about their feelings to each other. They’re sort of clued in to the other’s thoughts by their internet activity, but healthy communication skills don’t run in either of their families.

Most of their “communication” happens online through text, AO3 and Tiktok comments, and Noritoshi’s secret blog.

i love lovers

GUYS HELP ME AND MY RAREPAIR FANATIC SELF.

Let me rant about my favorite fandom rarepairs please. 🙏

JJK.

You guys HAVE to hear me out on Inumaki and Noritoshi. I LOVE THEM DON'T EVEN. My friend @beefxalto gave the idea that they'd be ones that communicate with memes, and I totally agree. It's been made clear that Noritoshi can't understand what Inumaki is saying when he speaks in rice ball ingredients, so they'd deffo be ones that communicate in memes and gifs to understand each other (Beef also gave a headcanon that secretly Noritoshi likes to go online on like tiktok and stuff. Secretly, because he's supposed to remain a role model and reserved around his pupils).

MHA.

Alright. What about Iida and Todoroki? LIKE IIDA IS THE RESERVED LEADER AND TODOROKI IS THE STOIC uh uh uh uh IDK HE'S JUST STOIC. I think I have a type of ship I like... Anyways I think Todoroki would be clingy but not outwardly clingy y'know? Like he doesn't like pda but loves attention in private. Iida respects his decisions, and abides by what he wishes. LIKE THEY'RE SO CUTE DON'T EVEN.

HQ.

I'mma for sure get hate for this, but what about Tsukishima and Hinata...? I MEAN COME ON THEY'RE NAMES LITERALLY MEAN SUN AND MOON. "Hina" in Hinata means "Sun", whilst "Tsuki" in Tsukishima means "Moon". They're literally the perfect embodiment of a sun and moon relationship. IF YOU LIKE KAGEHINA I'M NOT HATING I'M JUST STATING MY OPINION. But Hinata would definitely be a golden retriever bf and Tsukishima is the black cat. TRY TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

Anyways if you want more lmk. I have plenty more where that came from. ☺️

[beefxalto]

I was wracking my brain trying to prove that Hanami is a trans woman using her fight with Todo and Yuji so I could tell my English teacher about it. Up to this point, I’d been viewing jujutsu as a masculine endeavor because I had no reason not to; fighting and anger are two things that are associated with men, all curses are referred to as men save for Rika and Kuchisake-onna’s vengeful spirits, and becoming closer to the “pinnacle” of jujutsu sorcery usually entails taking on a more masculine form (Tengen evolving into that beer-bellied freak).

So i started there. And flipped it. Jujutsu is women’s work.

Then everything started making sense. Master Tengen, a (former) woman, founded the practice and is regarded as the origin of jujutsu itself; Yorozu, a woman, made insane breakthroughs for Construction technique users and was remarkably intelligent for her time; Yuki is also a notably intelligent female sorcerer. I just don’t remember what she did since she’s not my field of study.

And jujutsu stems from emotions. It is simply fact that women are on average more emotionally intelligent and in tune with their feelings than men. Of COURSE a woman started it.

THIS was my breakthrough.

Hanami is a woman and specifically a trans woman because she starts out with the same understanding of emotion that men have: they are to be avoided at all costs. Then, there comes a point where she’s forced to confront her feelings and interact with the emotions of others—in other words, femininity—and it is exhilirating. She loves it! In my mind, this is clearly an egg who was previously unwilling to even entertain the idea that her gender may differ from what she was born with because it’s impractical and scary. Then, Todo and Yuji beat it into her and she enjoys it.

Now, with this new understanding of jujutsu being inherently feminine, I have a new AU to write…

The Future Is Female!

[beefxalto]

this is so funny because anime gender blindness had me convinced mahito was just a normal guy until my elderly father saw him and couldn’t stop mistaking him for a woman. he was WATCHING the show too so he just saw mahito’s titties and was like “this show is so cool! let’s watch another episode!”

gender is made up bc i started referring to jjk Mahito with she/her because of her unparalleled babygirl girlypop cutiepie vibes but i accidentally tricked my brain into fully perceiving her as female and now i just. Can't see her as a man. She’s pecs out in like half her scenes but still thats a Girl and a cute one at that :3

[beefxalto]

JJK Universe Questions I Have But I'm too Lazy to Look Up:

Why don't they give windows MIB(men in black, specifically the newest one) type cars? Like they said you'd could probably take down a grade 2 with a shotgun right? Just give my man Ijichi a gun, let him take out some of that stress Gojo gives him. Seriously they could just get cursed guns n shit, give the windows some combat training and BOOM! Sorcerers only need to worry about grade 1s and special grades. Is there a reason they don't? Did I miss something? Like Mai uses a gun so they clearly have them.

Yuuji Itadori has a feature on a Megan Thee Stallion song, has anyone like decided if thats canon or not? Like maybe he saved her and she thought his fanboying was cute and let him feature. Or is this just a fantasy I've made up.

Could a nuke kill Sukuna? Its super unlikely that he fully knows about the improvements in weapons that humans have made since the Heian period when all they had were swords n shit. TBH do any of the curses know? Like what happened to them during WW2 when Japan got nuked?

Are all the other countries kinda just looking at Japan while the culling games are happening and just going, "Oh well, not my problem." Like why do we never learn about about Jujutsu outside of Japan? Unless we do, I'm kinda scared to read the manga.

Okay so talisman work in the JJK world, do any other pseudoscience type things work? Like could those crystals that absorb negative energy work? Or maybe those TikTok witch spells?

Do you think spirits change based on culture? Like based on a country's culture they may have different monsters? Like maybe America would have skin walkers instead of spirits, or Europe would have vampires or werewolves.

Seriously why doesn't Ijichi have a gun??

Would Techniques change based on the culture? Like America is fairly new, would techniques that evolve there be more akin to super powers instead of being based in mythology? Or places such as Greece and Rome, maybe they would have techniques similar to that of Demi-gods in Percy Jackson.

Why doesn't Nobara have a nail gun?

I feel JJK would go a lot better if more people had guns and weren't shit at using them Mai

Okay I'm done goodbye

[beefxalto]

Season 1 was really something else.

[beefxalto]

Yorozu and Uro evil wives

[beefxalto]

prev smells like grass

New REBLOG Game

Just fucking lie about the previous poster

[beefxalto]

I’ll be honest, I feared ridicule for this one, but after slightly refining the theory and halfway checking my work with other fans (making my friends listen to me), I think I can confidently say I was on(to) something.

Choso and Yuji Are Not Brothers.

“But Alto! Kenjaku—” Yes, I know, Kenjaku is technically responsible for their births (we’ll revisit this), but I thought of one thing. How could they be half-brothers if Kenjaku had them across different hosts? In canon, Kenjaku can’t alter anything about the bodies he takes possession of, including their DNA. It is genetically impossible for Choso and Yuji to be half-brothers.

My personal take and why they both wholeheartedly believe they’re brothers is that it’s the same thing that happened with Todo during the Goodwill Event: delusion and cursed energy. Choso fabricated the bond he had with Yuji in his head and Yuji ended up going along with it because (the one time he acknowledged Choso as his older brother) they were in a very high stakes environment, just like when Yuji eventually agreed with Todo during their fight with Hanami.

- side note: I really like that Todo and Choso’s fabricated bonds are based off the things that are most important in their lives. For Todo, that’s having a best friend, and for Choso, it’s his brothers.

But that leads me to my next point.

Kenjaku is not Choso’s Father.

This one’s a little harder to explain, but stay with me.

Even though the show says he’s the father, specifically,

“Nine times, [Noritoshi Kamo] impregnated her. Nine times, he aborted her.”

I think they also state that the woman he used was capable of bearing a cursed spirit’s child. If he wanted to get a girl pregnant the conventional way, there would be hundreds of his descendants running around. Choso is the child of a cursed spirit (biracial king).

That begs the question, why does he think Noritoshi (the evil one) is his father? Delusions. He fabricated the relationship in his head because Noritoshi Kamo was the only man present after he was born, and it is perfectly reasonable to assume that the man who is consistently present in his life is his father.

This, however, begs another question. How did Choso inherit Blood Manipulation if he isn’t related to the Kamos?

One of two things.

All Innate Techniques Are Derived From Actual Curses

Or

Even More Delusion and Cursed Energy Sharing

Theory 1:

I’ll admit that this theory makes zero sense and needs a little polishing, but it’s an interesting concept, and one that provides a reason for the fundamental difference between innate and learned techniques (ex. Ten Shadows vs Straw Doll). It also provides a source for where Choso, Eso, and Kechizu inherited Blood Manipulation. A Blood Manipulation curse!

(also using this concept for an au that’s in the works, and i’m willing to share!!! i’d love to see the people’s takes on it)

Theory 2:

I honestly just never liked believing that jujutsu talents were purely genetic. Obviously genes are important, but it also just kinda felt weird that some techniques (Six Eyes) would skip several generations for no reason. There had to be something more to it.

It’s pretty nice to think that people can pass on their techniques to their children through cursed energy bonding rather than genetics. They love (or hate) that child so much that they unknowingly imprint the most integral piece of themselves onto them. Expectation, resentment, fear, rage, these can all be things that accidentally bond two souls together. Even the indifference of a parent can be its own curse.

Kenjaku had high hopes, then higher disappointment for all of the Death Paintings, which may have imprinted Noritoshi Kamo’s technique onto each one. Now, that begs yet another question: if this is true, how come Yuji doesn’t have Anti-Gravity System? ….To be determined. YEAH THATS RIGHT I DONT KNOW but a man can dream.

[beefxalto]

There was a wasp on me. She was very chill and didn’t sting me, so she might’ve been a he. I still screamed and cried like a baby until I shook it off, but it made me think about Attack on Titan, and the shounen genre as a whole.

I hate canon shipping, because it’s almost always two straight characters who have absolutely no business being together but are anyway because the author/the fans want it to happen, and this point is proven no better than in AOT. (I didn’t finish the anime, but this is a discussion area! Feel free to point out if my opinions are unfounded.)

- Exhibit A: Armin x Annie

For the most part, this is a personal grievance of mine because I ship Eren and Armin. The relationship itself is cute, non-toxic, and all-around unproblematic, but did Armin and Annie ever even talk before S4? I know he was yapping at that crystal she was trapped in, but that doesn’t really count as the talking stage. Honestly, my problems with this ship are purely personal and I don’t fight folks who think it’s cute!

- Exhibit B: Reiner x Christa/Historia

This is also a personal thing of mine because I ship Ymir and Christa. There’s just a lot more romance between them (I’m pretty sure Reiner says he wants to marry Christa once and it was Ymir’s dying wish).

- Exhibit C: Eren x Mikasa

This relationship. I literally used their dynamic for a Dead Dove fic because it was genuinely so toxic to me, and I don’t understand how people unironically think they’re cute. Lie to me and say he treated her well. She quite literally devoted her life to him, and she got a raggedy ass man who is constantly going off and doing his own thing without regard to her feelings or even an acknowledgement of her love?? Perhaps you can excuse him joining the Survey Corps despite her persistent warnings, her following him because she knew he would die by himself, AND HIM PROVING HER RIGHT, but she couldn’t at least get a “I love you”? For real??

Eremika stans will tell me that he did love her, and I’m not denying that, but he’s still so wrong for not once reciprocating her feelings (Yes, I know about the scene where he says he doesn’t want to die and wants to live happily with her, but he doesn’t ever say anything even resembling that to her face).

This is a problem in a lot of shounen anime/manga. Two characters who either never had any meaningful onscreen interaction or have an explicitly toxic relationship just end up together because he was a boy and she was a girl and do I need to say any more?? And I won’t sit here and pretend that there are no straight ships that work because there are (Connie and Sasha lowkey had my heart), but when female characters are written to be shallow complements to their male love interest/ally, the romances they have with those men feels just as shallow.

This is also why gay ships can feel more fulfilling and complex than straight ones, because male characters are written to have actual dimension and personality. There’s always more to it than them just being friends or enemies or whatever else is in between. They feel like real people who actually fell in love, and not just characters who were made to pine after each other.

So, next time you think about bashing a gay ship, remember that misogyny is the reason I think Eren Yeager takes it up the booty.