beessecret - Tumblr blog

[beessecret]

Why does the thing I need to live kill me

[beessecret]

The Gibson girls

[beessecret]

Why are these old pictures of Nik avocado lowkey thinsprro

[beessecret]

My body feels like a cage

I need to expel

I need to be nothing but metal

I need the cage to rattle, hardly holding on

I need it to go away

I need my body to leave

[beessecret]

But we are also all ill, and we shouldn’t hate ourselves for it!

Glad someone agrees lol

A post for all in the ana community-

You are pr0 ana.

This may seem a dramatic way to start, and some of you reading this will be unhappy.

I truly think you cannot be in this community without being pr0ana to an extent. I am not saying you wish to inflict ana on anyone, I do not mean you are a bad person, I want to make that very clear.

However I think we all need to take a level of responsibility. This is my 7th? 8th? Time back here

And that’s for a reason, it’s because the community is so goddam accessible. And again, I am not trying to place blame on the reader, anyone in the community nor am I trying to make a callout. I simply want to say that if you contribute to tips and tricks, reblog thinsp0 and generally promote ways to become more thin, more sick, you are to an extent pro.

I think we all need to look at the way we interact with our illnesses, and be wary of how harmful this community can be for people who are actively looking to get worse.

I started here when I was 13/14. I’m now 19, a full adult who STILL comes back. Who still feels at home in a community made for damaging ourselves

So I’m not asking to stop making posts, I’m not asking to stop rebloging. I think we should just all take a moment and realise how deeply messed up this community is, but more importantly how messed up it is that people are pushed here.

If you’re reading this you’re on these tags and I’m sorry. I truly am. No one deserves this. If you’re scrolling through these tags for the first time, maybe using notprojusttags. You’re starting a rabbithole that does not end. I beg you, delete this app. Delete the calorie counter. Pick up the fork, and know your worth is so much more than your ugw.

I understand people may have a problem with the statement that everyone here is pro. There are accounts who simply like things, there are accounts who do not engage at all. I am not blaming anyone

Simply asking that we take a look at ourselves

And how deeply fucked up this is

[beessecret]

(A follow up post)

Me- Nonono my Ed isn’t getting bad again

Also me-

[beessecret]

A post for all in the ana community-

You are pr0 ana.

This may seem a dramatic way to start, and some of you reading this will be unhappy.

I truly think you cannot be in this community without being pr0ana to an extent. I am not saying you wish to inflict ana on anyone, I do not mean you are a bad person, I want to make that very clear.

However I think we all need to take a level of responsibility. This is my 7th? 8th? Time back here

And that’s for a reason, it’s because the community is so goddam accessible. And again, I am not trying to place blame on the reader, anyone in the community nor am I trying to make a callout. I simply want to say that if you contribute to tips and tricks, reblog thinsp0 and generally promote ways to become more thin, more sick, you are to an extent pro.

I think we all need to look at the way we interact with our illnesses, and be wary of how harmful this community can be for people who are actively looking to get worse.

I started here when I was 13/14. I’m now 19, a full adult who STILL comes back. Who still feels at home in a community made for damaging ourselves

So I’m not asking to stop making posts, I’m not asking to stop rebloging. I think we should just all take a moment and realise how deeply messed up this community is, but more importantly how messed up it is that people are pushed here.

If you’re reading this you’re on these tags and I’m sorry. I truly am. No one deserves this. If you’re scrolling through these tags for the first time, maybe using notprojusttags. You’re starting a rabbithole that does not end. I beg you, delete this app. Delete the calorie counter. Pick up the fork, and know your worth is so much more than your ugw.

I understand people may have a problem with the statement that everyone here is pro. There are accounts who simply like things, there are accounts who do not engage at all. I am not blaming anyone

Simply asking that we take a look at ourselves

And how deeply fucked up this is

[beessecret]

if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘food’ labeling some good, some bad as i assign moral value to this grain of rice i might say ‘numbers’ counting, measuring, tracking calories, sizes, BMIs allthetimecalculating everysinglething if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘beauty’ complete devotion, idolization of the western standard begging for others’ envy i might say ‘attention’ desperately needing someone anyone, to notice me at all to see that i am unwell, to care if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘control’ the sick, sick result of discipline gone sour a curdling obsession i might say ‘guilt’ over being too big too plain too comfortable too needy too me if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘anger’ hating the injustice of living hating everything, everyone including myself i might say ‘pain’ a way to transpose the scars of my soul onto the body aching for congruence if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘minimalism’ my mind whirls like a run-on sentence and i can’t stand being wasteful so no thank you i don’t need anything at all really i might say ‘self-righteousness’ i’m parading the streets, declaring my holier-than-thouness because hey look! i’m better at dying than you if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘expectations’ i’ve been naturally small my entire life and now, but now i lose myself when i grow i might say ‘childhood’ reverting to my prepubescent body no breasts and when sex was just a word muddled with giggles if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘addiction’ a habit that can’t be kicked craving the buzz, the high of manipulating my insides i might say ‘death’ i’m not that happy anyway so why not drive my body to the edge, tempting it to quit? if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say nothing because i do not know it’s not like it matters because you don’t ask because you don’t know either

—i don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows // 01.22.18

[beessecret]

For any of my witchy anas out there, this spell has actually been so useful

The morning I did it I weighed in 82.5 and the next day weighed in 81.8

I fully believe spells are all about intention, so if you go in knowing it will work then it will!

If anyone is anxious about parents/not being able to I will happily cast one for you, dm me. (Free, I’ll just write your names on paper and burn them and set intentions for you before I cast it)

[beessecret]

I remember when I first joined the an0 community I was like why do people have to choose between green tea and Diet Coke what’s that about

And now I’m just like huh I guess I choose my side

[beessecret]

Me- “Nonono my Ed isn’t getting bad again”

Me-

[beessecret]

[beessecret]

I’m scared of being in this body I’m scared of being trapped in it I’m fucking scared Make. It. Stop.

[beessecret]

[beessecret]

I’m taking a t break and I’m just happy I won’t binge

[beessecret]

This is just it

Precisely

ftm reasons to get skinnier

★彡　my binder will fit better

★彡　my chest will be smaller

★彡　my ass will be smaller

★彡　my hips will be less prominent

★彡　i'll look better in baggy clothes

★彡　my chest will be so fucking easy to hide

★彡　my face will look more structured and carved out

★彡　my neck and collarbones will be more prominent

★彡　i'll look more grunge

★彡　i'll just look better in masc clothes

★彡　it'll be easier to do masc makeup

[beessecret]

Wlw and mlm thinspo 🌈🌈