bellasdeadcactus

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GOD miss victoria is such a top you know she whipped out the strap every night for james

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Title: Crimson Colored Glasses

Summary: Vampires are more monstrous than Bella initially thought. A lot of information was kept from her. Tired of being treated like a child, Bella breaks up with Edward and cuts ties with the Cullens. Somehow, Bella finds friendship in a certain red haired, human drinking nomad.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30412413/chapters/74980383

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What must have it been like  for Rosalie to find Emmett dying in the woods?

Like, we know she saw him, and wanted to turn him but was afraid she’d kill him, so she took him to Carlisle, but what was running through her head?

Imagine hunting in the woods, and you smell bear, thinking “yeah that’ll work”. Maybe you’ve had bear before, maybe you haven’t. it’ll be a challenge, and it might keep you away from Edward’s annoying ass for a while longer, so to hell with it. 

And then you come along a dying huntsman and Oh. 

He’s beautiful.

He’s dying. 

Panic. 

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I think he did it, but I just can’t prove it...

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Horrible aesthetic of Bella’s (presumably) dead cactus

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i like how scooby doo isn’t the product of weird 70s tv animation design but was instead an intentional attempt to create the ugliest trash dog possible

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The Volturi aren't supposed to be the villains, the way they seem to you.

In which I have reimagined the Volturi as they are portrayed in the books.

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i made an incredibly specific bingo chart about early 2000’s girl media and how almost anyone who has watched it in the past is some degree of gay. fyi, i land on all of these squares but especially edgy bitch. ♡

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the football team always begs emmett to join and emmett always says “nah bros im just here for the vibes :)” 

edward asks why emmett even bothers befriending humans (as if he doesnt OBSESS over a certain human) and emmett just goes “i just think they’re neat :) and they think im neat! :)”

Disregarding that Emmett’s enhanced ability is that he’s stronger than most vampires (except newborns, so even whats the point then, meyer), i always HC emmett’s ability being friendliness. 

hear me out!!

he loves making jokes, to lighten up tense situations, why wouldn’t that naturally translate over to anyone (vampires and humans alike) wanting to be friends with him?

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Carlisle Cullen (Net Worth: $34.1 billion)

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Disregarding that Emmett’s enhanced ability is that he’s stronger than most vampires (except newborns, so even whats the point then, meyer), i always HC emmett’s ability being friendliness. 

hear me out!!

he loves making jokes, to lighten up tense situations, why wouldn’t that naturally translate over to anyone (vampires and humans alike) wanting to be friends with him?

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Local Senior Psych Major Forgets that the Exam was ONLY on the Muscle System for her shitty gen ed class, more News at 10 

i hate bullshit gen ed classes that are the barrier between me and graduation lmao. like my bio prof is a SurGeOn so ofc course we have to be in person so MAYBE shed bring in samples. 

I have an exam today (we have one every other WEEK but its only a once weekly class thats 3 hours long) on the muscle AND nervous system like.

maam im a psychology major please

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VAMPIRE

Now ask me the most basic question.

What. Do. We. Eat?!?!?

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vampire eric

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i hate bullshit gen ed classes that are the barrier between me and graduation lmao. like my bio prof is a SurGeOn so ofc course we have to be in person so MAYBE shed bring in samples. 

I have an exam today (we have one every other WEEK but its only a once weekly class thats 3 hours long) on the muscle AND nervous system like.

maam im a psychology major please

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bella: edward please i just want to go outside i was supposed to see jacob over on the reserve last week and i said i would meet up with my friends today i literally moved to forks to be with my dad and he has eaten alone every night because you won’t let me out of my room why did you break my truck

eastward muffin: so i had an intrusive thought about a meteor

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Edward: I can't get intimate with Bella, I could kill her!

Rosalie: What are you talking about? I gave her a hickey last week, and she said she it was fine.

Edward: