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[bethanyshaven]

Merry Christmas and happy new year 🎊

[bethanyshaven]

19/12/23

Laid in the bath ;having some rare own time. Kids are all tuckered out. Husband is taking care of the baby.

Today has been very chrismassy, we went to see our middle child's Christmas play today. Honestly was the sweetest thing I've seen today. She did us so proud, even though the teachers should have put her Infront as she's only a little tiddy tot. We were bobbing through heads to see her. She was glued watching our every reaction, I could tell how much she wanted us there and how much it meant to her. It's so important to show up when you can, I'm grateful I have the opportunity to see all the things she does.

After we watched the show. Me , the baby n husband went for a nice stroll to our local cafe. Which was lovely and I just had a great day today. Very peaceful and full of happiness compared to yesterday. Honestly felt like we bonded all over again. Something that we both needed ,as we both are so busy. That busy we forget to make time for each other.

Yesterday was just so overwhelming, I woke up feeling so closed in. I had groups to go to and I found myself being pretty snappy. I ended up feeling immensely guilty by the end of the day. I don't think the whole thing was me to blame as everyone comes to a point where they are going to snap. Sadly yesterday people picked my short fuse. I just didn't have any patience for it all.

Tomorrow we have a hospital appointment for our babe, just hoping it's good news. It isn't anything serious or life threatening ect. More a check to see If things I am concerned about are there or not.

[bethanyshaven]

17/12/23

So I'm laying in bed with my little boy fast asleep on my chest, after having a rough night with him , he doesn't like to sleep, only when he is on me. Of course the husband is snoring his heart out the other side.

The silence and my overthinking got me thinking about how I fail at pretty much everything but being a mother. It's the one thing I know I am great at. I'm not wanting sympathy or anything. As my thoughts won't change. I also don't think it's a bad thing either.

I was made to be a mother , and I'm great at nurturing, I have so much empathy and so passionate about being the best mama . My mum gave me a useful tip and something I remind myself daily , which is ' do what your own mum couldn't do or failed to do'. This doesn't mean the material goods. More about being there for them , showing and teaching them how to be a good person. Ready for when they spread their own rings and go on their own path in life when they get older.

Sometimes being a mum becomes your whole personality. I do admit I struggle trying to find 'beth' again. I'm a 'wife' and a 'mana' .. I know how to do them well but just being 'beth' seems to be a challenge. Something that I hope I find again soon.

[bethanyshaven]

Guess an introduction

Hi I'm Bethany

I'm new to this so please bare with me ,while I write.

I will start by telling you about me and then we will move to why I decided making a blog is the best for me.

I'm Bethany , that is a bit of common sense given my blog name , now my last name is not Haven but I will get into that in the next chapter. I am a mama to 3 beautiful children. Which is a bit cliché as I know most mothers will say similar. But I think we are aloud to be a abit boastful especially at our own creations. I'm 27 , married to my own soldier boy , been together ten years and married coming eight years in February. I do have to note I won't be posting pictures of my kids faces as their privacy and safety is my priority.

Now on to why I wanted to start a blog and what I want to achieve and get out of this. I am not doing it to seek views , money ect. I am wanting to make this blog for my mental health , I have so much I want to say to someone but struggle. So I thought id make an outlet for my thoughts and stories , like a diary but more visible to the world. I struggle a lot with my mental health , I don't do so well in social outings or any kind of social talking really. So I'm hoping this can be relatable to at least one person.

I don't want to make this into a chore or an essay. So I will post when I feel like I need to. This is my haven , my safe place to write without pressure