bigboykaye

[bigboykaye]

Healing isn't linear, it's f*cking exhausting.

[bigboykaye]

I’ve struggled my whole life with weight and body image issues. I’m 33 now and just starting to work through these things.

[bigboykaye]

I watched my mental health take over my whole life. So yes, I think I'll survive if you don't like me.

[bigboykaye]

I want to be me, is that not allowed?!

[bigboykaye]

My day was quite simple really…

Woke up with the desire to change my entire life.

Got distracted by my sock drawer.

Questioned my life choices.

Made a cup of tea.

Forgot I made it.

Found it three hours later and decided to lay down.

[bigboykaye]

Self- Acceptance

I accept myself exactly as I am right now.

I accept myself unconditionally.

I accept love from myself.

I am at peace with where I am right now.

I embrace who I am.

I am perfect, just as I am.

I am creating my own love.

I am whole.

I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.

I am constantly growing, evolving and becoming my best self.

[bigboykaye]

The abusive environment that I grew up in as a child created a fear filter within me, that activates anytime I am triggered. It’s hard work trying to teach myself that I am safe now, when fear is all that my body remembers.

[bigboykaye]

I know it hurt you and you didn’t deserve that pain, but you have to get up and start living again. The healing is still going to be beautiful. This was just a detour. You have a lot left to do and see and feel. Please start living again.

[bigboykaye]

I am not my “best self” right now, and I am not the most happy or fulfilled or energised or grounded or supportive or inspiring or helpful I’ve ever been, and I am still enough.

[bigboykaye]

A relationship should be comfort. Kindness. Support. Safety. If I don’t feel safe, what’s the point? If you don’t tend to my needs, what’s the point?

[bigboykaye]

“ There will be people that beg for your anger. Do not give it to them. Stand so firmly in your core that nothing can stray you away from love.” - Brianna Pastor

[bigboykaye]

“ To heal - is to turn yourself inside out to make amends.” - Brianna Pastor

[bigboykaye]

I wish people knew that I’m not aloof or arrogant, it’s trauma. I want to be friends, I just don’t know how.

[bigboykaye]

Every adult in my life failed me at every critical moment, so now I binge eat, cry a lot and I don’t trust anyone.

[bigboykaye]

Forgiveness is for you. Not the other person. It’s part of your healing journey.

[bigboykaye]

You are not the sum of your mistakes. You are not a collection of your failings. You are human, and sometimes you just need a moment and every moment is a chance to start anew.

[bigboykaye]

She loved. Even when the world was so unkind.