binaryemotions

[binaryemotions]

Salem

A heart, although whole, is not quite perfect.

We, as humans, are flawed.

Our visage, our clarity, our thoughts, imperfect one would say.

Yet, our opposite is as close to us as possible.

A figure of beauty.

With a blackened, tattered dress that conformed to her form.

No shadowy hatred, or spiteful harm emanated from her like the first.

No, instead, there was a sensation I couldn’t understand at that time.

The way her hips swayed, the movement of her long, darkened blue hair mirrored it.

Almost hypnotic, the strut she did in the snow that made her hair flow like the wind.

Yule didn’t know who she was. Nor her face. She would never turn to grace us, and we’d look from afar.

Her form and her dancing, somewhat ritualistic and symbolic.

The twirls and pirouettes she did on the frozen lake of the forest.

The art her bare feet painted into the snow that fell and not shatter the ice.

Her tattered dress draped and swung in the calming winter winds.

I’d see her in my dreams, dancing away all her troubles.

I wondered, was she like Yule?

I wasn’t afraid of her, however. Not like with Yule.

I’d hear faint callings, from a soft and motherly voice.

So refined, so dignified. Almost royal.

Yule wanted me to stay away, in case she was something not of my mind.

He thought, and his voice boomed in my ears, “She… Her form is familiar. She’s somewhat reminiscent of the celestial. But we can’t be certain.”

I had thoughts too, and I kept my mind on her movements. I kept my thoughts on the moonlight that followed her. I focused on the elegant curves her body had. Something wasn’t off about her at all.

In fact, she reminded me of myself.

I never noticed until I confronted her, out of Yule’s discretion.

One moonlit dream, I went to the frozen lake she danced on.

I went through the forest where I met Yule, and found her.

From afar, she was a beauty to behold, and even closer, there were only more perfections.

She had a scarf of a deep violet color that fluttered with her dress. I was too memorized by her dances at first to see it blended with the black colors of her attire.

Her hair glistened almost, like a deep sapphire. Her aura, much like Yule’s, pulsed from her in a vibrant orange glow.

A warm sensation came from her, with flickers of red embers that shimmered off her.

Right as I came to her, she stopped her movement. Nine flames erupted behind her, one at a time. Another thing I hadn’t noticed, was a sword on her side, something much like a katana in fact. The sheathe... had an ever black glow to it, almost like it was corrupted, but… tamed. Tamed by the fire that swirled around her.

I spoke, but, before the first word came, she said, ‘Hello, my child. I see you finally saw it. The moonlight. The shimmer. The gilded world. All glimmer, and not a single soul. I see, you’re finally clearing your thoughts.”

My lips froze at first, only staring at the back of her head, her hair had a thousand stars in it, like a galaxy forming in the very infant stages. I broke my blank stare, and said “Who are you, dark lady of the night?”

“Not a dark being, or a being of any malicious intent. As opposed to what Yule said, I am you, and you are me. A heart is incomplete, and has two sides that cannot be joined unless acceptance is taken. I, however,” She turned towards me, her hair swayed and brushed my nose, the scent of lavender filled the air, “I’m not that acceptance. Rather, a witch.”

Upon her swift movement, I saw her perfected being. Her skin was almost as pale as the snow, it glowed in the night like a nova. Her eyes were curved in an elegant upward movement, with black eyeliner giving her eyes a mystical look. Her lips were even as dark as the night, her smile looked almost devious… but attractive and warming. Her pupils were an incredible flaming amber, that blazed over a thousand suns.

She then took my hand, and said “I’m here for you, my son.”

Then, the lake unfroze suddenly. The snow on the lake fell in, and the lake turned a into a rosy, almost sunset  orange.

The blackened dress she had never dropped into the water.

In fact, we stood upon the water, entirely suspended from it like a miracle.

She guided me across the lake, into the frozen forest.

The nine flames behind her illuminated the path and melted the snow, showing a grassy road that winded and twisted.

The snow stopped, and all that fell from the sky crunched under our feet.

In the sudden darkness, A lightning bolt fell from the sky, and suddenly, Yule appeared before us.

He gazed at the mystical witch and I, and smiled.

“So you went against my will, like a true king. You truly are you’re own man, Nick.”

The witch smiled at him, and jokingly said, “A man not need a guide from another man, not a woman either, but a witch instead.”

“And who might you be, my lady?” Said Yule.

“Salem, the first.”

She gazed at me, and warmly smiled. Flickers of ember fell from her form and touched my face. My spine chilled, but my body felt euphoric.

She kept my hand in hers, and guided me through with Yule.

We trudged on, Yule lead the way with his sword that gleamed even in the night. Salem’s warmth kept us strong, and we went through the frozen forest on and on.

Oddly, no matter how cold it might have felt, I never had the sensation we were lost.

Never did I feel like Salem would abandon me, and leave Yule and I lost in the misty dark forest.

She held my hand tight, seven of the nine flames would gravitate around me, and the other two would be in front of Yule, melting away the snow and show the path.

We went up hills, and down paths that wound. Past even a horizon, that housed a mist in the distance.

We moved on, Salem’s flames lead us until we came to a cabin of large proportions.

“This is your home now, little one.” Said Salem. She let go of my hand and held me close, her grip soft and firm. She whispered in my ear, “I will take care of you.”

“This will make a good spot to learn, and meditate.” Yule tagged on, as he gazed up and down the two-story cabin in the frost.

“We will grow here. We will learn. We will bond, and most of all, we will claim anew. Nick, we will dance. And we will remember that dance until we fall, once the snow clears and you find that acceptance.” Salem kissed my cheek, and I awoke.

She’s the epitome of a queen.

Her form, although perfect, is still beyond words.

She calms my nerves, her shimmering flame never burning me even though I hold her.

She holds me, with utmost care and compassion.

She holds incomparable magic, the flame she wields can heal, and burn as it needs.

Her elegant blade may hold darkness, but it is tamed. Her flame keeps it bound, and makes it follow her orders.

She is my moon, my mystical wonder.

Her nine flames that float behind her, a true sign of her status as the first witch.

Salem, The Burning Queen of Halves.

[binaryemotions]

Yule

A shadowy enigma.

One without a face, or a form.

Just the shape of a man, tall and burly.

No light from within.

No other form of soul.

Just a scaly arm, and the smell of pitch.

He wandered my dreams.

He looked at me when I slept.

I smell the burning hatred he harbored.

I couldn’t see him however.

I didn’t want to see him.

The visage, blackened and dark in the deepest part of my sleep.

It began to walk around.

It was in my room.

The corner of my room, it stood staring.

It stood, gazing at me.

Yet I never knew what it had done in my day life.

Yet it followed me to wherever I went.

It followed me to school.

It followed me home.

It was in my hallways.

And I still didn’t want to see it.

Even with how apparent it was.

That black hooded figure.

Tormenting me with that blackened scaly arm it had.

It was its left arm, all jagged and dragon-like.

Like the seven crowns.

Like the cursed Styx.

It was maddening.

I couldn’t bare it any longer.

The way it’d stare and follow. Without a sound or a single footstep.

How this heartless being followed me around, knowing what it was doing to me.

One night, I finally had the courage. I slept, almost like a coma.

I finally pulled together the essence of the Emperor and called to it.

I screamed at it, and told it to leave me alone.

I wanted to live in a peaceful life and be rid of this gripping darkness.

But, it wasn’t that figure this time. It felt like the dark. How it took me by the neck so suddenly.

And I couldn't wake up, no matter how I squirmed.

No matter how I kicked. Even my screams were halted and lost in the air.

But

I could hear a faint voice off in the distance.

In the black abyss that I’d call my soul, I heard my own voice calling to me.

I called back, even though it was weakly and forced with all my strength, and heard the voice come closer. I kept screaming and pleading in the darkness.

I kept reaching out towards something. Anything. While that voice inched closer to me,

My own voice, eventually echoed next to me.

As I stood, calling out to my own voice, I saw that figure again.

Standing. In the darkness.

Now it was silent, and not a single heartbeat sounded.

I stared at the figure, mute from the gripping sensation, and wondered for a second. Why is it this cloaked figure came before me as my voice came closer?

I hated it. I hated the way it just stared at me, not even giving me any peace of mind.

The darkness from it practically radiated. Yet as I stood, face to face with the fears of myself in this dive to the heart, I saw a violet aura coming from it.

A deep purple, shimmering like an outline, coming from this figure.

The figure, reached its arm out, all scaly and clad in what looked like dragon scales, and beckoned me.

My hatred grew more, my eyes clouded with tears and my heart heaviest of all,

So, in my deep darkened slumber, I reached back. I beckoned to the black figure myself. I clawed back to it, as its hand grew closer to me.

The hand was waving me in, calling me to it closer and closer with every grasp I did towards it.

I felt my heart falling and taking a plunge deep down into the pits of heavy lead and blood.

My body was swamped with all these indescribable emotions.

I didn’t know what I was feeling. I had nothing in my head but everything in my heart.

I cried, and I wailed like a child. Then, then I finally grasped its hand. I grabbed the scaly hand that this shadowy figure reached to me.

I gripped harder than ever as I felt my body rise up. The darkness around me, slowly fading away into a forest covered in snow.

The forest wasn’t cold though, and I felt the ground beneath my feet as the enigma’s violet aura pulsated and shimmered.

And from that shadow, spawned a being that I hold close to my heart. His eyes, deep violet, and hair a pure white. The blackened scaly arm traveled up to a body clad in armor and white cloth, like a paladin.

On his back, a giant great sword anchored. It shined like a brilliant silver that gleamed in the pure forest. The handle and blade, crossed like a crucifix.

The chain mail, woven together so tightly, protected the heart of a hero. Yet when I looked at him, he was a mirror. I saw myself, deep with determination, and bravery. But faintly, lightning had emitted from him in his light. The shadows corrupted not a single part.

To this image I said “What kind of lie is this?” And him, to me; “No lie, but a deeper appreciation of your beautiful heart. Mislead, and astray your mind is, but you’ve a heart of gold.”

And his name, will forever ring true in my head. No matter what conundrum, no matter what I may come to, his name is engraved into my heart.

He leads me to where I must go, and leads me to the way of healing.

Through his miracles, and his holy sword, he brings the sun to my world.

The lightning his sword drops, forever a symbol of his status as a true king of Gods.

And although his arm is scaly, much like the Seven crowned beast, it shows true power.

Yule, the Thundering King of Purity.

[binaryemotions]

One More God Rejected; Chapter 1

Out of my lost mind, and back to the reality of looking over the place that spawned my dead connections, I heard someone scream my name at the top of their lungs. I turned my head to see my guardian, Xena Cerebella, yell and run towards me. Annnnd that’s when I got into a bitchy mood. Xena, although she takes care of me, I find her to be ANNOYING more than anything else. She was so stern and in your face, kinda like a drill sergeant. I guess that owes up to her military career? Either way, she was too intrusive, and she even looked the part. Her normally short black hair was a mess like she just woke up, but that recognizable long bang she had that hung over the side of her face was still there. She had her casual but usual white silk shirt all wrinkled and her black pants were the same, hell she still had the same damn velvet scarf wrapped around her neck that showed her status in her job. The ion bolt action rifle she held during her military career was strapped to her back. Trouble was coming.

“Lacey! What the hell are you doing? I’ve been trying to call you! It’s been almost an hour since then and it’s almost time! We need to go now!” She said as her combat boots slapped the ground while she pulled me along by my arm like a child into a street away from that look out point.

She continued to yell at and scold me in a rush. Unfortunately, as annoying as I found it, it was her job. Xena’s military career is that of Sparta, a special forces sect that is made to defend humanity from the Reapers. It was our answer to the infestation that followed us. Sparta was made not long after we found the infestation in the Calamity Zone. We needed soldiers to fight the Reapers, but we took it a helluva step forward. See, Xena is what we called a “Cerberus Unit,” a special soldier trained by Sparta to combat the Reapers and protect people like me. More often than not, Cerberus came in many varieties. Some donned melee weapons like swords, or hammers. Some used guns, or others had cyborg technology even. Xena is a Marksman Cerberus, being trained in rifles and guns and close combat techniques using such weapons. Usually depending on the class of Cerberus, they’d use armor and clothing accordingly. Most agile Cerberus like Xena wore casual clothes that were comfortable for speed and range of motion for their bodies. I mean, why would a sniper need armor for enemies that are only melee range? So she wore mostly casual or comfortable clothes. Her scarf was her “Attribute”, a way to signify she was a Marksman, often the color purple was the one showing how truly high up she is in her class.

Yet even though she can kill a Reaper, there isn’t a sure fire way she can take on a horde of them, which sometimes happened during missions and assignments. Which brings me to the “people like me” part that I mentioned earlier. When the Reaper event started, so did the new age of human. Females for an odd reason in particular grew unorthodox power. Scientists had studied us, in and out. Studying things like our strange eye colors, our ability to withstand abnormal amounts of pain, and even the strange effects the powers had on our bodies, and found that trauma from an event triggered this potential in a young girl or woman. It was common across all of the woman… probably from the murder of my family I imagined. Seeing your sister’s… skull just burst on your lap… it does things to you. But the name gained from such powers was “A Daughter Of Nyx.” Powers that were oddly close to what the gods of Greek were described to have. Lightning, the ocean, the earth, fire and boundaries. We had shared powers even, like whips and dark energy that gave us raw strength.  It was one of the ways we knew we were all connected. A culmination of raw energy that was unexplainable, but needed. We did things like modify our bodies, our minds, or even levitation or metamorphoses. It was basically like magic, in all those bullshit fairytales you were told when you were younger. The same thing that applied to Cerberus in terms of fighting was applied to us too. We had weapons at our disposal if we chose, armor if we wanted. Most of the Daughters chose no armor, purely because we’re already inhuman to begin with, the insane healing and regeneration our skin has and how much pain we can withstand and even not feel. These powers were of course hard as fuck to control though. Like I said about the scientists studying us, they managed to actually gather enough info on us to make a Daughter’s Academy. It was kind of like a college for us Daughters. Like a place we can go safely to and not have to worry about being bullied in it. We learned a lot about ourselves there, and learned how to control our powers. I… was kind of a failing student who scraped by. I wasn’t the most obedient in the school, nor did I care much for it. In fact, my powers we almost unexplainable from the teachers. It took a lot to learn about me. They didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me or why my powers would… spiral out of control, even with the intense training. But, each Daughter had a way to inhibit their powers too that they learned from the academy. Some cut themselves, some prayed, some had a charm that they wished upon. I, had a gun. Or at least what kinda looked like a gun. It looked much like an old style revolver but without the revolving barrel in it. It had the hammer and black handle on it that oddly had some sort of amethyst gem in it, much of the metal on it being a silver finish that glinted harshly. But could I even call it a gun? This gun didn’t even have any bullets. Nowhere did it even function like a normal gun. It was given to me from the academy, to make sure I didn’t go “haywire” whenever I used my abilities. Yet oddly, I was the only Daughter who had such a stipulation. So whatever “haywire” meant, it was probably close to “hey don’t murder a bunch of people randomly.” But when I put this “emptied gun” to my head, I’d pull the trigger, and a gunshot sounded off. It echoed in my ear, softly and comforting almost. I’d feel the kick from that thing and it even pushed me back from some imaginary recoil. Some weird, violet aura would come out the other end, and there would be no wound or physical damage, the smoke coming from the gun the same way the aura did. Emphasis on physical. But my powers would come to me, making me do whatever I needed. I never knew what the fuck it was, nor why it had to be a gun, or why I had to put it to my head, but it did what it did I guess.

“Lacey are you even listening!?” She screamed, me being lost in thought still, not quite caring or giving a fuck. I planted my feet in the ground, I sighed and rolled my eyes at her constant nagging and bitching, “Xena, you know Reapers aren’t a problem for me. I’ll be fine, I’ll meet up with you in a bit, so just go ahead without me.”

“Don’t sass me missy, this is different. I need you for this and if you’d quit being a brat about this, we can go home early. We got a horde coming in, and you know I can’t handle that alone. We’re wasting time, we need to go!”

I cracked my voice a bit on accident, and sassed back, “I’m not a fucking child Xena! You’re acting like I’m barely doing this even though it’s been like 8 years of us doing this shit! It’s always the same shit, and it’s not gonna be any different this time.”

She grabbed my arm and pulled me into her death glare, that glare she had that made me straighten up everytime, “You’re. Fucking. Insane. You’re coming with me,”

I shoved her back and right as I was about to scream at her to fuck off and leave me be, that I’d do what I need to do, I heard the snow sizzling. My eyes went to the snow, and Xena let go of my arm in a snap. We both gazed around, and I felt the tenseness of our bodies rise up. The snow all around us, even beneath our feet, sizzled and hissed, just like when it started. I gave Xena my determined glare, and nodded her off.

“Imagine the bullshit excuse I’ll have to make to my higher ups. I’ll be coming here with some backup, DO NOT fight in the streets. Take them on the roofs.”

I pulled the gun from the holster on my hip, and just said, “I know, Xena. Trust me for once.”

Xena ran off down the emptied streets. I closed my eyes, and counted. I put the gun to my temple. One, I heard the crack, the snow bursting and the ground breaking. Two, I felt the presence of fear itself dance around me in a macabre twitch. Three, I felt their eyes, hungering and brooding for my pale flesh, my clear blue eyes clenched shut still. Four, I felt their footsteps shuffle around me rapidly, their armor feet clanking against the pavement. Five, I heard their screeching, the same screeches I heard from years ago that fed off suffering and hate, and I pulled the trigger. A loud bang erupted, and all I felt was a surge of energy through my body, feeling that strange feeling of something going through my head and coming out the other end. My head kicked to the right from the recoil, and I felt the energies rush to my hands. From the upside of my wrists, I felt my ethereal blades spawn from my powers. The one power that was unique to me, that no other Daughter had, was the violet, translucent and ethereal blades that could cut through the Heavens themselves. I opened my eyes, and holstered my still smoking gun to the horde of Reapers, all licking their teeth with snake like tongues and screeching in that same demonic pitch that sounded like a child being torn to pieces. The beady eyes, the insect appendages and razor sharp claws. They looked like giant mantis’ with bodies of a hunched over insect, like a flea almost. Their bipedal legs looked like normal legs for a mammal, and their wings sprouted from their back like a cockroach's. Pests, annoying fucking pests.

Yet as one leaped at me and the others followed, I side stepped with inhumane agility and stabbed into its skull from its chin as the green blood that ran in their bodies splattered on my arm. Another tried swiftly swiping with the scythe-like claws and I turned around and with one fell swoop, maimed the arms off and kicked it into the horde that flew after. They flew back instead and I picked up one of their claws that I slashed off and lunged it at them like a spear. Some were impaled on the wall in a perfect row, but they began to spawn from the ground more. Xena was right that time, and I couldn’t take them on the street. I thought for a second, and quickly dissipated my blades into whips. The whips looked much like chains, a deep glimmering purple that coated the shining metal, and I used the whips and I swung them up to the top of the buildings like a grapple. My options were spent, and I couldn’t risk any of the buildings being infested by these monsters. I had to be a distraction to keep these others safe. Xena’s words echoed in my head, and I went with it. So I yanked myself to the top in one movement.

I looked over the ledge of the building and saw the white horde scaling the walls, like a bunch of roaches fiending for their food.  I focused my dark energies into my legs as they gave off a faint violet aura and dashed at the speed of the wind. I heard those disgusting monsters roar at me as I ran off and they followed. I heard their wings flapping and claws grinding against the stone roofs. I dashed off, and looked over the roofs everywhere for Xena and the backup she so promised. I did this for about an hour or so, and I accidentally lost the Reapers in my speed , so instead I took my time looking, free running over the roofs as I tried to find her annoying voice. Over the cold rooftops and beyond the point where we were supposed to meet, I found a base they had established and guarded in the middle of an alley, partially attached to the side of a building. The base was minimal, only had about 4 tents and an electrified perimeter that had laser defenses that’d melt the closest thing to living tissue there was. One tent was for armor and guns, I’m sure, and the others being mostly intel setups that’d help us track down the horde I lost. That’s when I heard her demanding voice again, screaming at the soldiers and the platoon she was assigned. I saw Milly there, another Daughter that lived with Xena and I under her foster care.

Milly Loplo, or Cerabella now, was the sunshine in my life. She was so young, being only sixteen in her teenage years. Her hair was short and brown, with small braids going into the back and into a ponytail. She had her combat outfit on, that being a casual and tight brown long sleeve shirt and brown skinny jeans with combat boots and her weapons being laser based guns that were shaped like revolvers, the heatsink of the gun being in the would-be chambers where you’d put the bullets in normally. The way she had to inhibit her powers was with a small little metal lyre-shaped charm she had since she was younger. Something her mother and father gave to her before giving her up for adoption. She… had a terrible experience when she was younger. She has ADHD, and that invoked a lot of bullying from others in her school. The poor girl couldn’t go to her classes without some sort of harassment. It all sort of… built up one day. It was a year after the Reaper outbreak, a little after we rose out the ground. She lived in Asphodelus at one point, but the accident she caused at her school… From all the bullying, and the constant attention to how “abnormal” she was, she broke and… a swarm of locust just spawned and murdered all the children in her class. She wasn’t arrested, or charged with anything. Sparta took care of that, and she was taken in by Xena after her parents gave her up for adoption, mostly because they didn’t know how to handle Milly and her Daughter powers, and got demoted from Asphodelus to Tartarus. I don’t know what had happened to the families that lost their children… but my heart goes out to them. She usually wore a red jacket and graphic tee shirts with normal jeans and skater shoes in her casual wear, along with that charm that hung off her neck like a necklace. Her eyes were a beautiful color, the iris was a deep blue, the pupil being a vibrant orange that shined like the sun, like her personality. She was so bubbly and upbeat, even in missions where we would be held back or nearing our end. Her smile brightened my day. She was so shy and nervous without me around though, almost like a hermit in a way. I loved her to death, like a little sister. I’ve known her ever since she was adopted by Xena, and I practically grew up with her. I was there with her in the academy until I graduated. We been through thick and thin in there, and I learned a lot about her as a person too. Like her odd hobbies of actually WANTING to study. Mostly about humans, and how their brains work. I think it was because of her ADHD that she did this. She practiced her tech skills too, she loved hacking and coding and messing with Xena’s ion rifle to upgrade it. That’d always piss Xena off but when she tried it, she admittedly sucked up her pride and thanked Milly for it.

I called to her from the roof I gazed over and jumped down. I ran to her and hugged her tightly, she greeted me, “Hey Lacey! You find anything out there on your patrol?”

Then, the scalding hot water of a voice came from the other side of the base, “LACEY! MILLY! Straighten up! We’re on a mission! You two can hug and have girl time WHEN WE’RE DONE.”

Xena stomped over to us, and pulled us apart, “Look, I get you two are close and all, but seriously? Don’t make me look like a fool, and be more official at least. The casuals can turn to casualties if you’re not careful. Did you lose the horde Lacey?”

I rolled my eyes, yet again at her words, and said, “Yeah I guess I did, I mean, does it look like we’re getting over ran right now?”

“Cut the bullshit Lacey. We’re going out and neutralizing that horde. We’ve got Milly and you now, and all the backup we need. I expect this to be done in an hour at tops. Got it?”

She strutted off and signaled all the soldiers to follow with her out the base, shouting some orders about following her and splitting up or some shit.

“Still as ruthless as ever huh Lacey?”, Milly nudged at me, “I’m surprised you done this for this long, haha. Xena’s been like this for YEARS and you haven’t peaced out yet.”

“She’s just a bitch, and I don’t actually tolerate it at all Milly. Why do you think I’m so sarcastic with her anyways? I don’t take that shit from her.” I said, anger pulsed through my head as my hatred grew for her.

She pat me on the back and said “Ohhhhh you. She’s still our caretaker and the reason we get to eat! Come on! You know you love her chicken alfredo! Oh yeah she has some leftovers at home still! Come on let's do this I wanna hurry home soon!”

Right as she walked off, I pulled her back to me by her arm and said “Umm, Milly? Stay safe and near me please. It’s been a bit since your last Reaper hunt, and I don’t want you getting harmed. I’ll protect you, okay? Remember the last time you had a weird reaction?”

She gave me her bright smile, and I smiled back at her, “No worries Lacey! That last time was just some minor eye bleeding. The puking was nothing!” She said in her bubbly voice, “Thank you, I love you big sis!” She gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. And then I remembered why I fought with Sparta.

We stormed off to the lookout area where Xena and I first saw the Reapers. The snow was caved in at most parts of the pavement, and the soldiers scouted the area for any remains of the Reapers. Nothing was found but simple claw marks and some defecation from the vile monsters. I could see Xena scoping out the rooftops with her rifle, that scope of hers was like her glare, it intensified with every back and forth from side to side. Milly and I just surveyed the area around, finding only track marks and peels of their shells.

“Jeez, you’d think there’d be something here but it’s totally deserted!” Milly said. I paced around the snowy park that was near and gazed at specs of the snow. It smelled faintly like blood and iron. I knew that they were somewhere near there. I could just sense the impending terror.

“I don’t know about deserted…” I said, “It feels like they’re still here. Like… hiding, ya know?”

“I dunno Lacey. It doesn’t smell like that butt nasty smell like it usually does when they’re around.”

“Are you talking about the dried blood? Is that how you describe it?”

She gagged at the thought of dried blood and looked away, “Don’t say that Lacey! Urp, I can just imagine the scene already.” The gagging turned to dry heaving.

I giggled at her and had a jeer, “Oh puh-leez, you’re not that weak Milly. You study the human body more than anyone I know.”

“I’m soft and sensitive okay! You know that!” She said laughing. I laughed with her and we kept on about the area. We couldn’t find much. No matter where we looked, the horde seemed to have vanished. So we just split up, I ran up the walls of the nearest building and left Milly to explore the alleys. I looked over the entire area but I saw nothing. Xena was up on the roof with me, I didn’t notice her pissy aura with how focused I was at the time to find the horde I lost to avoid Xena’s inevitable screaming.

“Lacey? Can we talk for a bit? There’s some downtime.”

“What the fuck do you want Xena? Haven’t you bitched at me enough today? Or were you gonna bitch at me again and say ‘Sun’s setting Lacey why haven’t you found the fucking cure for cancer yet?” or some other shit?”

She walked up to me and looked over the roof edge with me, the both of us stared blankly at the sun, “In fact, that’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about right now. I know I’ve been a little uppity with you and Milly lately, but I just want you two to be a little more… adultish you know? Be more like grown woman or something.”

“I’m only eighteen Xena, and Milly’s even sixteen. What more could you want out of us? Oh right, it’s to be perfect.” I said with my bitch voice.

“You and I both know that’s some bullshit,” She pulled out her packet of cigarettes, 100s menthol, and lit one up, taking a deep drag and exhaling the foul scent, “I want you two to keep it personal outside of work. It’s hard out here, and I don’t want you guys getting sloppy. I’ve raised you guys since I first adopted you. Now I’m not trying to be that cool mom everyone loves and shit. If I was, you’d be dead out here in Tartarus.”

I thought for a second, and kept my eyes staring at the sun’s horizon still. I began to fondle my gun in my holster, and questioned what she even meant by “Keep it personal.” I guess I couldn’t understand at the time and said “I’m grown. I’m an adult Xena. I just… don’t want Milly getting hurt. And I never asked you to be that cool mom. I just want you to not treat me like a child anymore…”

My train of thought was interrupted at the sound of screaming coming from below us. Xena and I peered over in a snap and saw a squad of soldiers running from the sizzling snow. We found the Reapers again.

“We’ll finish this talk later.” I said, right as I was about to jump down. But Xena halted me.

“Protect Milly,” She said, “I don’t want to see either of you getting hurt.”

I nodded at her and jumped down. I felt the wind going through my hair as I twirled and landed. I reached for my gun again, and “shot” myself in the head. Right as the gunshot sounded off, the snow bursted and Reapers came flying out with their grotesque, buzzing wings. I had fervor and no patience, and formed my whips and lashed them out at the masses wings buzzing away to Xena. I yelled as I pulled downwards and slammed as many as I could into the ground. I switched to my blades as they formed their acute shapes on my wrist like a violet mist taking form and swiftly dashed in one fell swoop, slicing and maiming a portion of the horde. I heard a loud bang as I felt the ground tremble and cave in next to me, a Reapers body turned into a large white and green burnt mush. I saw Xena’s ion rifle smoking above me as more soldiers pulled over the ledge of the building and fired at the horde that was swimming through the air. Some jumped up at the soldiers, their bloody scythe-like claws and needle teeth hungering at them, but my agility was too much as I’d hop and jump incredible heights to cleave the Reapers with my blades. In the corner of my eye, Milly slid into the horde from an alley, her energy based revolvers fired rapidly like machine guns and burnt hide filled the air and searing noises erupted from the Reapers like a crescendo. My blades impaled and gouged the Reapers, Xena constantly fired off thunder and lightning down upon the Reapers, and I’d see Milly grab the charm she had to awaken her powers and claw at the beasts with long, blackened nightmare claws.

But when I slipped up, and lost myself in a battle trance, while I masterfully cleaved the Reapers one by one in a display of blood and organs, I heard a yelp come from behind me. I turned and I saw Milly’s arm cut deep, almost falling off as she fell to the ground. I felt my heart drop and my eyes widen even, and I screamed her name. Then… I just… felt something. I didn’t know what it was. But… I ran towards her. Oddly, I felt my wrist blades growing larger. I could feel them split my skin, and I never saw it at that time, but they were glowing a deeper purple. They grew even longer, and they shedded more Reaper blood that day as I charged in and ravaged them. Reaper blood squirted and spurted all over while I tore through to Milly. I grabbed her off the floor, her arm bled immensely, and yelled with my hollow and cracked voice “I’m so sorry Milly, I’m so sorry please don’t go yet I’m here I’m here I’m here!” Xena screamed something, but I couldn’t hear her. My sense of hearing was gone, and all I could focus on was Milly as I screamed and kept cutting through, my one arm wrapped around her as I used my other to massacre as much of the horde that kept pouring out. I could see Xena’s face from the ledge of the roof, her eyes glistened as she fired off as much as she could. The look in her face was in pain, and tired. Her body, usually firm and confident, looked weak from the constant recoil, but she kept firing and directed the soldiers to go down on grapples. The soldiers fired off and some switched to their knives and swords to avoid friendly fire as they came to us, but I kept going forward regardless of these men coming in, tears rolled down my eyes with every slash and impale. One Reaper caught my leg, and I jammed my blade into its skull. I felt the bone crush and I kicked the body away, yet I still kept on with Milly in my arm while I felt my warm blood coat my boot. The horde thinned, but so did our reinforcements. I didn’t notice. Soldiers weren’t moving, and they weren’t all together. Like… their bodies weren’t together. Some had the stillness in their eyes, and I knew what had happened.

I had finally got to the wall they rappled down, and climbed up on my own with only a few soldiers following. I put Milly down as they resumed their covering fire in a hope to buy us time. Xena rushed over with a medical kit and took care of Milly’s arm as best she could. I kept next to her, crying and begging her to wake. Milly grunted at me, and I had a bit of relief then.

“LACEY!” Xena, screamed as the echoing sound of heavy caliber machine guns and laser rifles pounded down behind us, “Get it together! I’m gonna bring Milly to a medbay, but I can’t go alone. I need you to take out the rest of these Reapers, or distract them! We’re not letting Milly die, do you hear me!?” I nodded with the tears from a broken promise in my eyes still, my body quivered and shook, but I had to do it for Milly. So I ran back down the wall, thinking of all the mistakes I’ve made, and chained up as many Reaper legs and arms as I could with my whips going down the wall. I yanked them down from the wall the crawled up, and put my composure back together as best I could. The tears at least stopped, and I kicked off the wall and dashed over the Reapers to drag as many as I could away from the soldiers. I kept dragging as many as I could with the whips chaining up at least a hundred, and I saw Xena rappelling down the side wall of the building, Milly’s unconscious self on her back. The soldiers soon followed, and I painlessly bit a chunk of my skin off to drop it down on the snowy rooftop I kicked onto as the Reapers turned at the scent of blood and flesh. I was furious at that point, all at myself. All at my stupid mistake of leaving Milly alone, knowing fully well aware how she is in these fights.

At first, I didn’t know what it was that drove me. At that time, I didn’t know what was in me. Maybe it was the hate. Maybe it was the sorrow I felt that Milly almost died. I didn’t know what had happened. It didn’t even feel like I had my own body. I pulled the gun from the holster, and instead of putting it to my temple like I normally did, I bit down on the barrel, the gun pointed in my mouth. Without a single thought, I pulled that fucking trigger. But that time, it felt different. The bang was lounder. The feeling was like I actually had my head blown off. I felt my head kick harder than normal, out of all the times I used it. I felt something different running through my body, like another presence. I couldn’t even remember where I heard it from, but I said something that sounded like a prayer...

“O hear dark mother, envelope your Daughter in your black bosom. Show her life and death. Chaos, or control. Confusion, or clarity. Give her the guide to be a true predecessor to ascend your rightful throne as the original god. So she may become stronger than those who dare defy her…”

Right when those words left my uncontrollable tongue, I could feel myself overflow with energy and… hate. I hated these Reapers. I hated them… for taking my family… and I’m wouldn’t let them take Xena, or Milly away.

I saw a deep, almost black-purple aura shimmer off me like stardust. My eyes, affixed on all those Reapers left that rushed towards me, felt like they were burning. I could feel a small pain in them, but I didn’t give a single fuck. I swiped my bloody, chunked left hand in the air, and extended my arm outwards to the sky. From it, a darkened shadowy visage appeared in my hand. It swirled like a vortex of darkness, the black aura giving away a galactic glow. The mass materialized and formed a long hilted spear, the wood of the hilt was smooth and dry while still the blackened natural wood gave off a matte glow. The head was a deep purple metal, shaped like a serrated diamond with specs of shining marks, as if it was the unknown void of space itself. I ripped the spear from the blackened mass and pointed it forwards. My eyes, still violently glowed and passed judgement on the Reapers, and that strange violet aura had pulsated and grew more with every one of them marching towards their demise. That wasn’t my blades power, or my whips or claws… that was something different. Something beyond what a Daughter could normally do.

Finally, they had made their move on me. The first few lunged for me with their claws and I side stepped in one sly movement in the blink of an eye. I swiped the spear down like a sword as it maimed a Reaper in half. Another jumped over and preyed on me but I jabbed the head upwards and impaled its skull with precision. My eyes didn’t flinch at the blood splatter that got caught in my lashes. I slammed the Reaper down and broadly twirled the spear and swiped it across the other demons that lunged for me, their bodies becoming still, in two pieces. My stance didn’t waver, and the horde thinned while my body unrelented. I didn’t even know if it was my body or not anymore. Something took me over, because I never used that power. I never read anything in the academy that spoke of this to any Daughter. It was unknown, it wasn’t like the powers I trained with. Not my blades. Not my whips. Not my claws. It was something new.

Reaper after Reaper, blood splattered and stained the snow. The black spear grew darker with every Reaper, and it felt like a feather to me when I’d twirl and dance with it like a macabre fashion show. The blood didn’t even stain the spear. The clean as ever serrated edge and broad head was unpolished, yet it sliced and impaled like it was brand new.

The horde stopped coming eventually. There were unmoving Reapers everywhere, their body parts and blood arranged into a mess I couldn’t recognize as those demons. Only a large green circle of dead bugs and white armor. Oddly, I felt good. It felt good to see what they did to my family… I could do to them. But what was even the point if the fucking things didn’t even comprehend that? A murderer can’t understand what is lost when they never had it in the first place. Some weird thing I can say though; I didn’t even flinch or think twice. I wasn’t in control of my body, and I can’t remember much of where I learned to do any of those moves I did. When that deed was done, the death of at least one thousand Reapers, I felt euphoric. I felt a rush, and I looked over at the job I had done, and cracked… a broken smile. I laughed. At first it was small, a bit minor like a chuckle. But it grew, it grew further into a maniacal laughter. I sounded almost psychotic with my howling and wailing.

The snow sizzled more, and my face and laughter took a serious turn. I gazed over the roof I stood on, and saw a crater sized patch of snow burning and screaming on the pavement of the streets. It sounded like the fires of hell, the piercing wails of the damned screaming at me from the pure white snow. The ground collapsed in, and I could barely make a single figure out from the bottom of that hellmouth. I barely saw a body that looked like a lion’s almost… just different. Different as in “this is probably the ugliest interpretation of a lion I’ve seen.” The dust and gravel cleared from the caved in pavement as it flew above the sky. Its wings buzzed and fluttered the winds like crazy, it blew a heavy wind at me while it landed on the roof. There, I saw a better look at what disgusting, bastard of a monster I saw. It was shaped like a lion alright, but that head of its was like a mantis’. The beady blue eyes it had that darted around like it was having a seizure gave me the creeps. The giant wingspan it had was like twenty men and buzzed like thundering end times. It had a tail even, segment like a spider’s body but ended in a stinger of a scorpion. All those parts didn’t even make sense to what they were attached to, a mammal like body. A body of a lion, but all white and with a hard carapace instead of fur. This thing was an abomination. It stood silent at first…

“You, Daughter of Nyx, have killed my legion. You have murdered a thousand of my comrades and still you stand here, their blood on your body and your spear. That spear… a relic of a kind you won’t ever understand. Why do you wield such a thing? Your eyes are not that of the one.”

I wasn’t speaking, but my lips moved as I felt something else say it, “You speak, unlike the other Reapers. However, your lips don’t move. Yet it echoes in my head whenever your words come to me. I am not lost, so you must be a different kind like myself.”

I didn’t understand anything… I wasn’t in control still. I was spectating, through my own eyes as these things were being said. As these things were being done. But while I stood there, I wanted to ask why it hasn’t killed me yet. I wanted to ask why it was speaking to me, or how it was. I wanted these answers for myself, but I wasn’t asking. Something else was. Something was invading my body. The purple aura I emitted still, the eyes of mine didn’t feel like mine. That spear… that chimera-like beast said it was a relic I couldn’t understand. At that time, I really didn’t.

“I am a regal, and superior beast afar from the ones you murder. I was sent for a reason you cannot understand right now, dear Daughter. But as a commander of this legion you had slaughtered, I must take my vengeance and return a hero, and not a fool,’ It began to walk around me, the paws and tail waving like it was ready to pounce, “Your power isn’t what I was told normally… this is something else. You’re not a normal Daughter… let alone a Daughter at all.”

“And what do you mean by that, adversary?” My body shifted into a stance, the spear elevated at my hip with my feet spread and firm.

It lunged at me, the screech of it sounded like a wolf pouncing on its prey. I flipped back and lunged back with the spear as it jumped, but I dashed after it as I impaled a part of its armor on its chest. I pulled the serrated edge out as it shredded the plating and I swiped downwards, the tail blocked my strike while the chimera clawed at me. I regained my stance and block the swipe.

“Well done, but that cannot be all you hold,” It said while it backed off as it flew back, “I’ll answer your question. Only after you’ve defeated me. I will not hold back, and we fight with honor. I will have never fallen to the others you have associated with, yet I will gladly fall to you.’ It swiped its tail out and roared like a lion, “I challenge you! Daughter of Nyx! Come at me as you will!”

I rose my spear in the air, and stabbed into the ground, my left hand clenched and my long anemic hair blew in the wind, my now violet eyes glowed and shimmered, “Very well, Chimera,” I said, although my mind wanted to say something else. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run. This beast… scared me. It horrified me. I normally wasn’t afraid of Reapers, but this couldn’t be something I thought I could hold up against. The roar still echoes in my head. “I shall fight you. I’m weary of these dreary Reapers. All glitter, and no soul. Save me from this blue world.”

I drew the spear out the ground and held both hands on the hilt, the head pointed towards the chimera with the spear held at my upper body against my breasts. It lunged at me, and I swiped against the bottom carapace between its legs. I rolled forward and lunged with a downwards stabbing motion as it used its tail to block another strike. The tail flew forward at me and I parry the strike with my spear head. I tried to strike at the head of the beast, but again the tail blocked it. It swiped the tail at my legs, it grazed my thigh and I back stepped. I felt a burning sensation coming from my wound, but I still stood with a determined stance. I took an observation of the monster, and scanned the chimera. No matter how I tried to strike vitals, the tail kept getting in the way.

“You can’t be getting nauseous already, Daughter,” The chimera’s voice echoed. It was right, my body felt weaker. I’ve been exhausting my powers that I couldn’t hold out for much longer. But whatever it was that was controlling me, it kept me pushing. I didn’t want go, but this entity that invaded said otherwise. I heard a faint voice in my head that spoke… “Go on, my Daughter. You have me by your side.”

The chimera flew at me to pounce its stinger into me, but I gripped it with my bare hands and held it back as it tried to impale. It was on top of me, the claws holding me down while the tail wrapped underneath, trying to sink the stinger into my chest. The spear, at my side, was on the floor. I couldn’t reach for it, my hands were trapped under claws. My eyes were getting weary, and my brow was sweating from exhaustion. I felt its claws grow and sink into my shoulder, and I screamed as I kept the stinger at bay. I looked over at my shoulder, and saw… black. It wasn’t red like normal. I was bleeding… black.

“This can’t be happening…” I thought to myself, “I’m not going to die here!”

“You will live, my Daughter.” The inner voice echoed.

I yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs, echoing from my throat as I forced the beast off me. I stood and held its tail in my hand, my arm bled that black, up and down my chest and arm. The beast was dazed on the floor, and I held the stinger in my hand as I swung it around like a toy. I swung and swung, finally throwing the beast but I still held the tail as the force of my throw ripped the tail off and spurted green blood all over me. The snow and dust rose up from where I had thrown the chimera. I picked the spear up and rushed head first into the rubble and tackled the beast. I climbed on top of it and began to stab my spear into the hardened carapace, piercing with ease and finesse with every downward thrust into its body. I could hear the pained cries of it as it roared and tried to throw me off like a wild bull, but the serrated edge of the spear kept me sturdy and I rode the beast, almost as if I tamed it. I took on big lacerating stab at its hide and pulled the spear out from an angle, shredding off and ripping the carapace like thin paper. I backflipped off the beast with grace and drop kicked its legs to make it airborne as I took one large roundhouse kick to the chimera’s skull. I felt the bone of it crack and cave in, I almost felt the insides, all wet and warm, on my boot. It flew even further back onto another rooftop, away from me finally. It arose, tired and exhausted too. I was gasping for a breath, and took a deep focused thought and regained my breathing pattern. It was shaking, the legs of it weren’t stable. The entirety of its skull was misshapen, and the tail writhed on ground next to me. I broke and stabbed its wings when I was on its back, all crooked and torn. Might as well have been a fallen angel at that point.

I walked towards it, and jumped on the roof it stood on. It looked as though it was bowing, the mantis head it had all cracked and slung down. It spoke again, “I cannot go on… I’ve been bested. As our deal was, I will answer your one question…” It sat, and rose its head at me, “You aren’t like the others. I’ve fought your kin, and they’ve only ever dented my armor. Yet you…” It turned its back to me, the fleshy black skin it had throbbed and pulsed green blood from the laceration of my spear, “You’ve done more than just defeat me. You’re clearly chosen, Chosen of Nyx.”

I stood there, spear in hand. My shoulder bleeding that black, but it dried up like a crusty tainted skin. My leg bled only a small amount, but it seared like a thousand wounds. My entire body was so tired, and I couldn’t fight much more. I gazed into the chimera’s shattered eyes, and spoke, “I inhabit a body that might not even be my own. And honestly? I don’t even fucking know if I am who I think I am,” I still wasn’t speaking, but… those words started to hit home. “I fight for a lot of reasons, and I could barely find the courage to fight you. I’ve fought hordes of Reapers, and I’ve killed many. Yet none were as strong as you. I couldn’t find the courage to fight you. But… I remember what had happened…” All of sudden, I started getting flashbacks of that time Noelle and my parents died… I saw Milly’s body, injured and unconscious. Xena’s tired look, shooting her rifle down. “I feel like I should almost honor you, even though I’ve seen your kind to be bloodthirsty beasts. But you, you didn’t strike. Which brings me to question, why?”

The beast coughed, the green blood foamed from its mouth in a river, “I cannot answer that now… My… strength is fading… I cannot go on… my will is gone. I ask you… to finish me. I have never admitted defeat in my… time. But I will… fall… to a warrior like yourself…” It said, broken words and sentences that showed it really did have nothing left.

I walked towards it and it bowed its head again. I was thinking of all sorts of things at that moment. I began questioning a lot of things. Chosen by Nyx? Stronger than other Daughters? Was I some sort of prodigy child? Nonetheless, I couldn’t bring myself to mercilessly slaughter this one. I’ve butchered before, but I couldn’t do it. This one… was different. So, I took the spear, and held it at its head, and took one fell swoop down like a guillotine. With ease, its head severed and rolled, its body still and broken. The spear faded upon that moment, dissipating into a black mist. Finally, I felt control over my body again. I could move my hands, I could move my legs. I felt my breath, and I sat there in a curious daze. What the fuck had just happened? Why does “Chosen by Nyx” sound so familiar? What… invaded my body? The snow began to fall again, and the sunset was coming. I looked towards the chimera’s body, and it faded away into a white sparkle, like it was an ethereal holy being. I felt a sudden energizing rush, and my body felt lighter. I looked at the wounds on my shoulder and leg, all the bruises from being slapped around by that chimera, all healed.

I didn’t question it at the time, all I could think about was “Where did I learn those words from?” “Where did that spear come from?” “Why wasn’t I in control of myself”? “What was that voice in my head?” But most of all… “Why didn’t it attack me first?”

[binaryemotions]

One More God Rejected; Prologue

We lived humble lives. Lives that weren’t any different than what you probably do. We had normal day jobs. We ate breakfast, we ate dinner, had lunch if we needed to. We gave birth to children, rose families and saw that cycle repeat. Going to boring, repetitive school and going through that rebel teen stage where we get edgy and disobedient, growing into a responsible adult and living a normal life until your parents passed, where’d you’d mourn them and take their place. We had that kind of lifestyle, almost like everyone else. We had it made. We had it all, like fast food and convenience stores and schools that actually gave a fuck about our children, companies that understood what it was to actually have a human being work for them. Life was normal before, and we hadn’t need to worry about anything in our civilization. It was the future, we had flying cars, new phones built into our watches, holograms that were actually able to interact with. Portable storage capsules that could contain almost anything, fuck, we even had weapons that fired lasers. What the hell was a magazine anyways? I was gifted with such amazing things you could only dream of. All of this shit was in a united city called Kenos. We were a thriving city, so much further ahead of the other cities many know like Dubai, New York, and even Tokyo. The way we excelled in our technology just made us better. No other city had eco-friendly street lights or solar panel buildings or machines that roamed the streets in place of police officers to apprehend crime. Corporate companies! Yes corporate companies that actually gave to the poor and built homes for them! Yet… things changed. Civilization fell apart when we realized not all good things can last… More on that later though. The city of Kenos, my prideful city that was thriving in tech, had to… split in a way. When we split, we went into four smaller cities. One, which was the highest in terms of ranking and wealth, was known as Olympus. This city had a golden gate (I’m gonna emphasize that this thing had REAL diamond jewels encrusted into it’s fucking nameplate) leading into the grandiose structures which looked like palaces made of bronze and stone of the highest quality, pavement shimmered like gold and the city was full of machines that’d do whatever humans wanted, just like in Kenos. It was a place of luxury for sure, where the richest of the rich lived and spat down on everyone else. Below that floating city, was the city of Elysium. It really did hold true to its name like in Greek legend, the city was covered in gardens and beautiful plant life that was amazingly beautiful, the green forests and fields. Even with no buildings made of actual normal material there, Elysium residents lived amazing lives in treehouses and stone houses to never taint the greenery. Might be a bit old timey, but there was still machine life that tended to the plants, and schools that taught of the advanced tech that worked with us to this day. The beautiful forests and streets, if you could call them streets, even had floating plant lights that’d give illumination to the inhabitants. It was a strange city indeed, but it functioned. Even more below that, was Asphodelus. To be quite blunt, much like the city, it was a borefest. Nothing was really there, it looked much like a suburban plot of land, only it stretched as far as a city. Nothing else much about it, other than the normal tech we’d have. It wasn’t anything ever to talk about other than the… interesting people that lived there. Finally, at the bottom of the barrel, was Tartarus. It was the ass end of all cities. The entire place was pretty much run down like an abandoned city, only I’m using the word “abandoned” loosely here. Crime rate was high, buildings were mostly out of order or barely had functioning utilities unless you had certain arrangements, and it was cheap to live there so it made an incentive for poorer folk to move in. The city was mostly dark and lonely, save for the ones who had to work or didn’t have a car to get around, which still surprised me back then because everyone who lived there barely had an education to function. Let alone actually make a meaningful difference in that god forsaken city.

My name is Lacey Xy, and I lived in this city. Yet when I walked that god forsaken city, it seemed to almost calm me. Those streets were forever trapped in a dreary blue plague, but they were so much like my home. Even though if they were my home I’m pretty sure I’d be dead today. The snow there was so soft on my anemic skin and hair. My arms we oddly cold for my usual attire of a light blue long sleeve shirt that fit loosely around my forearms, and skin tight blue jeans and boots. I had to pull my sleeves over my wrists and exhale a hot breath into my hands just to get some kinda feeling. In my normal, daily walk around the streets, I went away from my path for once to do some memorable sight seeing. I didn’t really know what made me do it, other than some kind of afterthought that pried at me that day. Maybe it was from missing my family, since I was an orphan then. I came across an amusement park where me and my adopted family would go during summer days, when we knew what summer was. The entire park was torn asunder, and nothing but shattered glass and burnt, bent metal rails and pipes littered the place. All the rides I used to go on with a sour face with my guardian and adopted sister were just remnants of a past broken. A memory, ravaged and beaten. Like me. I just closed the gate, and fastened the lock around it tightly and I went on my way.

My next stop was a small lookout spot over what was known as the Calamity Zone. A place where… things went bad. The reason we had to split into smaller cities. A place that housed fear and embodied darkness. The endgame, the place where we know the force of the gods sits. It was like what happened in Kenos almost. Although, this place was a giant skyscraper that we used to call Hades. Since day one, human lives have changed from the normal sunrise and sunset hours. We were living without a single terror, in simple bliss, as the ground quavered and shook with fear. Only for hell, mounted with fangs and claws and wings, to rise above ground and show how flawed man really is.

I was but a child, only being eight years old when this happened. I was with my family, who were my older sister Noelle, and my real parents, Jacy and Adam Xy. My mother and father were shopping for Christmas in a plaza, so we couldn’t go with them because we’d obviously ruin our jolly surprise. I would see my sister Noelle, a teenager, marveling and admiring the snow. She nudged my shoulder and pointed out a large ice sculpture, randomly set in the plaza full of last minute shoppers and families who spent time and make memories and lived life together. When I gazed over, I saw an enormous sculpture of butterfly wings, so elegantly curved with the shine of a rainbow of in the brimming sunlight. I tried to comment on it to Noelle, but all I could get out of her was her usual rambling. Mostly about how beautiful and shiny the butterfly wings were. This was always like her, always one to obsess over the beauty of nature. It just showed how pure, and how sweet she was when she was younger, and I’m sure she would’ve been like this today. If it wasn’t for… one thing. There was something off about those wings. I knew, because once I studied them and went past the beauty of the wings, I’d noticed this one thing about them. Something oddly organic. And not “nature” organic, like the snow. I mean “human” organic. When I saw it, my stomach churned and my lips went numb and dry. I saw… a pulse come from the wings. Throbbing veins.

I watched as the wings creaked and twitched. Like a creaky door that rusted from years of abandon, the wings screeched and echoed. Attached to the wings was a goliath of nightmares, arisen from the pure white flakes that I loved so much. I gazed upon this creature and filtered out all of the world around in a mute stillness. Its segmented body, much like a butterfly’s. The razor sharp scythe-like claws that adorned its scaly body attached to it like a prey mantis’. The head much like a hornet’s, completed with darting jade eyes and finished in an all white pureness. The eyes rapidly shook and moved around in a furious seizure, all the souls of mankind it judged. They screamed at the demon arisen, all of them foolishly ran about while it glistened the razor sharp, needle-like teeth. My sister and I were jaw dropped at the sight of something I could barely describe to this day. The terror it omitted gave a dread in my heart that I didn’t understand at the age of eight. That I still don’t fucking understand to this day. Yet the screech made me realize how close I was to the beginning of the end. It opened its gaping mouth and signaled the trumpets of Heaven with its terrible screech, one that sounded like black ended jagged rock scraping against thin metal. My sister and I covered our ears in the hellish piercing sounds of its mouth. We dared to look out the window of the car to check for our parents, and we saw snow melted and churned and boiled like a batch of poison, each spot gave life to a new creature to partake in a twisted zoo of white twitching. Yet as we gazed, there were others out there in the prison of the screeching. Their eyes cried a rose red, their bodies convulsed and some had seizures of agony as their mouths oozed red and white fluids. Children screamed for their mothers, and parents tried to protect their kin. To no avail, the families screamed in a rhapsody of agony. Carnage ensued, and the entities rushed towards anything that gave a breath of life. They ripped them all to shreds and tendons began to fly and blood sunk into the snow’s pureness. The smell of human fluids, rather it was fecal matter or urination, or some other bodily fluid that wasn’t known seeped into the air. I could smell it in the car, and as bad as I wanted to cover my nose I knew that I couldn’t. All I did was cower with Noelle, our ears covered with just our hands and the windows rolled up as we hoped the monsters wouldn’t see us. They were distracted by the bones crunching, and the meat of human flaying in the cold death of winter, a red winter. I wanted to cover my eyes too, but fear overcame my body in a tsunami. All we did was watch, while it burned into my memory.

Amidst all of the slaughter, I could see my mother through the red mist that splattered on the window. She had the look of excruciating pain, her legs crushed and mangled into tendons and bones. Her body was covered in unknown organs and blood from others who where going to share the same fate as her. My father was nowhere in sight, yet all I saw was my mother, who held a severed hand that had my father’s wedding band on it. My mother reached her other arm out to us, and Noelle screamed “Mom!” in a shower of tears with shock and numbness in her face. The beasts came to her and slashed her arm off in a swift, lunging movement. The monsters kicked her on her back and mauled her torso, the life in her eyes fading away as she gazed at us. Her screams and life, echoing and becoming still in the pool of blood she sunk into. It all stopped for me, and I couldn’t recognize what was left of the pile of carnage.

Not a second after, the butterfly screeched louder than we could bare. Out of instinct, I pulled my sleeves over my hands and muffled my ears. Even though I could hardly hear past my thick jacket and sweater, I heard several faint popping noises. One however, was close to me. I peered over to where my sister was… The image of what I saw was… painted in gore before me. Carved in blood in my memory. Her brains splattered across the side of my face, the sludge-like thick mess stuck to my skin. Bits of her skull were in my lap and clumped into my sweater. I tried to scream, but all that came out was a heave. I was stuck. The only movement were the tears bawling down my face in a river. I just balled up and waited for the screaming to stop. I eventually passed out, and awoke in a hospital bed. I was out for a whole week, and I was just caught up on what happened at the mall on the news, seeing that these things took more than ¾ of Kenos’ population. Human civilization for us had to change. A week after they fought off those monsters, the city had devised a plan to rise from the ground. They had all the scientists to work on the means of doing so, and after slaving over the concept for months, they managed to split Kenos into four cities and rise them off the ground with anti gravity force engines. We arose, leaving the massacre behind.

That day, the snow has yet to clear. We’ve experienced nothing but this dreaded bitter cold since then, since we dubbed those monstrous beings as Reapers. Across the study of these beings, we learned that they come from the ground during the day, and burrow back in during the night. So humans had to switch to living a nocturnal life instead, coming out during sunset and going to bed by sunrise. Humans can barely sustain life during the night, let alone fight back the Reapers during the day. But there are some that can. Someone… like me.

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Reason

I've sacrified the son of Heaven. Yes, I've done what one would call the utmost betrayal to one's god. Something so mundane and horrible, that only a devil would do. All to see a world of fire red. All to see a burning desire that fuels my will. I did it to be one step closer to my idea, my reason if you will. I don't want to be one left out. I don't want to be the last to know. I want to be the last one left alive, in a world of nothingness, one without any to bother each other. Isn't that happiness? Just being left alone to do my own thing sounds beautiful. My world of grassy fields that breeze a crisp and cool wind that whispers lowly in my ear. So yes, I will sacrifice what I must to achieve that world. I'll murder god if I must.

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I bet I don’t even cross your mind ~ 21/09/18

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Awake

I lie awake at night too much. 1am, all the way to when the sun rises. I lie awake and stare at my phone screen in complete darkness. Even now as I type this. I stare at the world from this lens of technology. I gaze at others lives and take a peek into what they're doing. I sometimes look back at my ex. I sometimes look at other friends. And I sometimes look at what strangers are doing. And they all seem so happy. They're not alone. They're sleeping well. They're doing very well for themselves. Yet theres me. What makes me so different? Is it the chronic depression I have? Or is it that they sleep next to someone the know who loves them? God, what I'd do to even have a feeling like that. I don't know why I try anymore with this whole love thing. I can't find it anywhere. And whenever I do, it always ends in pain. It always ends the same. It's just darkness. Cold, darkness. So I stay awake, with this heavy feeling in my chest that can't go away. And this numb feeling in my hands. I hope it'll end soon. I'm sick of this suffering.

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Waiting

I still await your calls. I still await those sweet words you spoke to me in my ear late at night. I crave your warmth next to me, foolishly reaching over my bed to see if you’re there or not. I still await to hear the sound of your voice. Just once more, to give me some sort of peace. I still await those noises you’d make while you slept, so I knew you were there with me. I still await the memories to flood my head of us being together. How we laughed, how we cried and screamed, how we spent so much time with each other. How we planned so much. But now you’re gone. And I’m lost. I don’t know what to do without you. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just living, without any purpose. I’ve been trying to find a way to be happy. I miss you so much, but now you’re with another man. Now you’re with someone better. And I’m happy for that. I’m happy for you, yet I cry because I’ve lost you. I wait. I just wait for something to happen. I don’t care if I die or if I live at this point. I really can’t figure things out anymore. Yet this blade calls my name. So I stay away from you. Because you’ve made such a happier life without me.

[binaryemotions]

Why did your blog turn all sad Yule?

Really, my blog is just a physical reflection of my mind state at the moment. So that alone tells you just why it has been like that. Not to mention I’ve hardly been getting on for that fact, haha. So I haven’t been able to change anything recently.

[binaryemotions]

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woe

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Beartooth - The Lines

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18/05/2014 (la dispute)

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I wish I could kill myself without hurting anyone

(via fake-happxness)

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