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Silly Breach (Erik) Headcanons – AU

1. Prank War King

Breach once replaced all the toothpaste at HQ with mayo. He called it “mouth protein.” Phoenix almost cried. No one could prove it was him

2. “Anger Management” Pillow

Someone gave him a stress pillow shaped like a punching bag. Instead of using it normally, he drew Sova’s face on it (lovingly), and now mock-boxes it whenever he’s frustrated. “No offense, bro, but your voice pisses me off in surround sound.”

3. Messy Cook, Legendary Results

His cooking process looks like a war crime in progress, burnt edges, spilled sauce, loud metal pans—but somehow, the food slaps. He calls it “Erik’s Explosion Casserole.” You will love it. You will also fear the aftermath.

4. Bad Dad Jokes, Worse Timing

Right after an intense firefight, Breach might turn to Skye and deadpan, “Guess they really couldn’t handle the recoil, huh?” He’s not proud. But he is consistent.

5. Can’t Whisper. Ever.

Due to his damaged hearing, he thinks he’s whispering but he’s still full volume. Stealth missions are chaos when Breach is around. “HEY, DID YOU SEE THAT GUY? I THINK HE’S GOT A GUN.” Yes, Erik. They all do.

6. Misuses Idioms

He says things like “burning the candle with two spoons” and insists he’s right. If corrected, he doubles down. “That’s how we said it in Sweden, man.”

7. Secretly Loves Sparkly Things

Erik once got his arms painted by one of the younger agents as a joke. Now he wears glitter polish unironically sometimes. Claims it helps “channel his inner rage into fabulous violence.”

8. Heavy Metal Scream Master

Erik can do the perfect heavy metal scream like, rattle-your-teeth perfect. He’s turned “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” into a deathcore anthem.

9. Soda Can Shrine

Breach has a massive soda can collection. Rare, weird, cursed, explosive, you name it. He keeps them in a glass case with LED lights like they’re ancient artifacts. Labels include things like “Pickle Lightning” and “Mystery Flavor #7.” He calls them “metallic trophies.” Anyone who tries to throw one away gets a lecture.

10. Eats Soup With a Fork Just to Assert Dominance

When asked why, he just growled, “I like the challenge.” He makes intense eye contact the entire time. The soup is cold by the end. He calls it victory.

11. Unironically Believes “Birds Aren’t Real”

He's 110% convinced they’re government drones. He swats at pigeons. He lectures Sova about “his fake friends.” Sova is so tired.

12. Once Taped a Whole Raw Fish to Yoru’s Door as a Warning

No one knows what the warning was about. Not even Breach. He just said, “He knows what he did,” and walked away in slow motion.

13. Eats Cereal With Orange Juice If There’s No Milk

When someone gags, he’s like “What? That’s just breakfast sangria.” He likes the taste. This is not a joke. He does it often. Chamber left the room crying.

14. Keeps a Jar of Screws and Calls It “Emergency Teeth”

It sits on his nightstand. No explanation. No context. Killjoy once asked if he was okay. He just whispered, “Always be prepared.”

15. Plays Guitar Solos Without a Guitar [At times, with the guitar]

Like, full-on air guitar solos with amp noises made with his mouth. Once did this for four minutes straight mid-debriefing. Brimstone let it happen. He said it was “too committed to interrupt.”

16. Screams in Latin randomly at times

No one knows where he learned it. He won’t say. He once dropped a fork and yelled “IN NOMINE CHAOS” at max volume. Brimstone needed three Advils and a nap.

17. Bites Ice Cream Like It Owes Him Money

Full, aggressive chomps. No flinch. No expression. Just eye contact with whoever’s nearby. “Weak teeth are a mindset,” he says, with bloodlust in his pupils and sprinkles on his beard.

18. Keeps a Wrench Named “Justice”

Just like his other tools, he talks to it. Sleeps with it. Swore vengeance with it once. “She’s got a righteous bite.” It’s just a regular wrench… probably.

19. Plays the Kazoo During Tactical Briefings

No warning. No rhythm. Just loud, chaotic kazoo. He says it “enhances focus.” Brimstone had to start confiscating them. He just keeps finding more.

These are most of the silly ones for now! ⁰^⁰

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New poster of Ambessa Medarda for Arcane Season 2!

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did you guys know im a stay

anyways, HBD to the forever five year old Chan 🐺💕

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bang chan-railways (dominATE world tour- 01/09/24)

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Railway - Bang Chan

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Someone uploaded an even better version of Chris’s new solo. I am beside myself…..

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I couldn't have been more wrong (let a girl dream) but weLCOME VYSE VALORANT

Distorted voice and a yeehaw accent??? Y'all if we're getting a cowboy demon agent i will cry happy tears

Original Video X

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Distorted voice and a yeehaw accent??? Y'all if we're getting a cowboy demon agent i will cry happy tears

Original Video X

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holding an oc closely.... if you had a fandom would people be insane about you....

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From the abyss reveal, I wonder if some of the agents with more combat/military experience find guidance from non-combat background agents annoying? Or at least unusual. Bc like , Sage was trying to be encouraging but it does clog coms and is a v long sentence to deliver in the middle of a fight.

Basically, I wonder if agents like Brim, Sova, Breach, Iso, etc. had to get used to that…

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FINALLY, a cRUMB of Breach!!!

This is the BEST he has ever looked in Val's media.

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$90 CAD gale dress up game

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Lil le smooch 👉🏻👅💋

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literally