blackyuji - Tumblr blog

[blackyuji]

tbh when i hear some people talk about 'breaking cycles of abuse', it becomes clear pretty quickly who has come to understand that phrase to mean 'since i was a victim of abuse/neglect by my parents/caretaker/s i will do everything to be nothing like them' and that is all. its not a completely flawed way of thinking either - something that hurt you would very likely hurt someone else; through empathy we learn to understand not to hurt others the way we were hurt too.

but what 'breaking cycles' looks like is more complicated than just not being your parents/caretakers - it's about recognizing how the things that happened to you changed you and how you can heal so you don't hurt someone else in turn. the survival skills you learned in an unhealthy enviroment often translate to poor if not unhealthy interpersonal skills in an enviroment where things ARE safe.

its a difficult pill to swallow for a lot of survivors of abuse (trust me, i know) because we have a tendency to simply want our pain to be recognized. by painting yourself as "absolutely nothing like my abuser" you can abstain from recognizing your own harmful tendencies and live comfortably in the role of victim hood for the rest of your life. it can be tempting to do this especially when so many people will do their best to deny what you experienced - almost like leaning into a stuck door that just won't budge.

the problem with this is if you never recognize that being mistreated made it so you LACK a lot of what other people learned from a loving enviroment, you can hurt people pretty badly even when doing your best just not to replicate what your parents/caretakers got wrong.

this also hurts for victims because, when it comes down to it - it's not FAIR. you were hurt for no reason, and most of us will never hear an apology or even admittance from the person who did it - so why do YOU have to change? why do YOU, the person hurt unjustly, have to put in the work?

and i mean. that's what breaking a cycle is. it means pushing against what's fair and comfortable deliberately so that you can stop something that's been repeating. it's work. its not just recognition of pain, it's the purposeful healing and treatment of it. but thats scary, and it's not fun, so a lot of people fall right back into it. its a lot easier said than done.

[blackyuji]

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

[blackyuji]

happy soup season :) here are some recipes that i enjoy

caprese soup

hungarian mushroom soup

vegan hot and sour soup with bok choy

zuppa toscana

egg drop soup

feel free to share some of your own i would love that :)

[blackyuji]

my friends and I made some mushrooms for dinner and we cut them into hearts :)

[blackyuji]

Need a break?

Take a car drive

Look out the window

Tour a museum

Take a walk in the city

Listen to the radio

[blackyuji]

Every time we have the pesto egg honey grilled cheese for dinner I think “eh this isn’t going to be as good as I remember it being” but it is

[blackyuji]

Masterpost of useful resources I've collected over my time at Tumblr!

DO NOT CLICK ON THESE LINKS WHATEVER YOU DO!!! YOU MUST PROTECT OUR CORPORATE OVERLORDS!!

Definitely NOT a thread with books, movies, games, music, and other stuff

If you would like advice for computer shortcuts, DO NOT CLICK THIS

If you love Chik Fil A sandwiches, this link DEFINITELY doesn't tell you how to make them from scratch

Please, please, PLEASE, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, click these links!!! And I definitely DO NOT want to see any more resources you guys have in the notes of this post.

Happy pride!

[blackyuji]

[blackyuji]

Nappy.co

[blackyuji]

wanna see something that drives me up the walls insane

[blackyuji]

what if AU where death note is just an in-universe work of fiction and all of them are just actors. i call this my coping AU LOL

I LOVE this AU!!

[blackyuji]

we’ll dream of a longer summer: a collection of summer poems

  ༺♡༻

this high summer we love by adrianne rich

the summer day by mary oliver

one summer by idea vilariño

when we with sappho by kenneth rexroth

summer by louise glück

onto a vast plain by rilke

spanish nights by royla asghar

summer morning by mary oliver 

baked goods by  aimee nezhukumatathil

summer was forever by chen chen

summer of the ladybirds by vivian smith

because it’s summer by ocean vuong 

summer (a love poem) by frank lima

the best time of the day by raymond carver

blue funk by julio cortázar

love letter by julio cortázar

the waves by juana de ibarbourou 

fragment 31 “jealousy,” by sappho

late summer by jennifer grotz 

wide space by mahmoud darwish

[blackyuji]

🌻 miku

[blackyuji]

Another point for why it’s important to own your own copies of music and media, and not use streaming services, is because the copy you own can’t be taken back.

(This is also a good time to remind people that yout*be to mp3 converters still exist).

[blackyuji]

hey reminder that the monterey bay aquarium has livestreams of the tanks and also fish r pretty

[blackyuji]

Friend!