blameitonnelly - Tumblr blog

[blameitonnelly]

Please check out my new book Nothing is Beautiful! Hope you enjoy!

[blameitonnelly]

A Day in the Life

I love my job. Don't get me wrong. The pay is pretty good for temp work. And I can get as much overtime as I want. My department has essentially a blank check to do with what they will, so long as the work gets done.

Today, however, one person is sick. Have been for 2 days. That's fine. But one of the people that covers their area also called in. That means the other guy that works in my area, until the end of the month, has to cover THAT area. That leaves me by myself to process millions of dollars in product. This product weighs literal tons. The boxes aren't heavy, but its a lot to manually stack and move around.

The only other person in my area is another temp that only knows how to band and wrap pallets. I now have 4 pallets of unprocessed material in my area that I can't hope to keep up with, and a floor that's full to over capacity because I can't get out there to pick up more product.

Its the busiest day of the week, and I essentially walked into an orgy, not realizing I was on the receiving end of this less than fun gangbang. So here I am, on a lunch I didn't want to have to take, praying 5oclock comes swiftly so I can just put my things down and leave. I'm not a superhero.

I'm only one man.

[blameitonnelly]

The Back Side of the Rainbow

When looking for the bright side

One tends to go one pace

But looking at the problem

There's facts you have to face

Not everything will be alright

Happiness comes at a cost

And if one is not careful

They often find they get lost

It's easy to think brightly

When life says you should not

Your friends all give you advice

But its harder than you thought

The grass is always greener

On the other side

But no one stops to realize

That their friends just may have lied

So sit and drink your coffee

Pour out another cup

The grass is only greener

Because They don't fuck it up.

[blameitonnelly]

This, though. I have severe ADHD, but ive learned to cope over the years. Something that doesn't get better, though, is the hearing thing. It's not that I didnt hear you, because I very likely did. Its that my brain didnt even try to process what you said. So instead I'm left with distorted echoes I can't grasp. Its like trying to catch a shadow. So please, if I ask you to repeat yourself, don't get frustrated with me. Help me out, here.

Just something I really want to share on here because it’s important.

[blameitonnelly]

For real though. The checkout lane is a confessional for all sorts of fucked up shit because for whatever reason the customer is comfortable enough with you to dump their soul on the belt.

being a cashier is so stressful i’ll be like “hi! how are you :^)” and the customer will hand me a screwdriver and say “my granddaughter had a miscarriage this morning” and I’m like …………………..i’m so sorry that’s $2.33

[blameitonnelly]

Greek workers, after months without pay, apply austerity cuts on their bosses car

[blameitonnelly]

I never get any of the cool bots

[blameitonnelly]

I was going to write up a rant about this, but i don't know that i could say it any better

military worship in this country is out of fucking control

[blameitonnelly]

I've Been Slacking

Hey folks. Suuuuuuper sorry I haven't posted anything in a long time. Between working a handful of jobs, medical stuff, and my kid I've been really busy, but new stuff coming soon. I habe a whole list of stuff I'm wanting to wrote about and it grows by the day. Updates soon!

[blameitonnelly]

Just a little PSA: I don't care if you, and I quote, "Ain't grabbed no cart" that doesn't mean my belt take over job for you. 2am or not, there are other people shopping besides you.

[blameitonnelly]

A Peek Into My Life Right Now

I've not posted in quite some time and I'm sorry for that. I've not been able to find inspiration. Then I ended up in the hospital. Read on at your own risk. TMI risk is high. On my birthday back in May, I had a suprapubic catheter placed because I was unable to pass urine. I have a stricture, a blockage made scar tissue, that blocked the whole system. So this handy tube through my abdominal wall became the alternate route. Let's flash forward a month and a half. I've now had flush my catheter roughly six times a day because my valve is so crammed with sediment urine can't pass there either, without monitoring. Four days ago, I found myself on the couch with a fever of 101.4 and terrible smelling urine. Little did I know, I was going into septic shock. One phone call, two IV placements and a catheter swap later, which has to be the second most terrible thing I've experienced ever on my short time on this planet, I was feeling better. They broke my fever, which peaked at 104, and I was rehydrated, blood pressure was stable, and the ICU was about to be in the rear view. I'm going home. Until a doctor came into my room and crushed all my plans with a single acronym. MRSA I wanted so badly for him to laugh, smack me on the shoulder, and say, "Just kidding. Here's your discharge papers. Get out of here, you." Instead, I was moved to a floor room and started on antibiotics. My dreams of getting home see my two week old son and my wife were dashed. (Don't get too worked up. My MRSA is in my blood and not presenting on my skin. No open cuts and my tube site is covered. I would be able to be with my son safely.)

[blameitonnelly]

Do I Look Like A Bank To You?

I'll start this off with an apology. I've been a bit lax with my writing lately. Had a huge mental block. Luckily, rant worthy material seems to seek me out. A woman approached me tonight, and interrupted my transaction with another customer to ask me of she could get cash this time of night. I told her no. Near our entryway, there is a HUGE yellow sign stating it store policies. No better after 2, and no cash back after 10. The beer policy is just county law, so I've got no wiggle room. In fact, our machines lock out all beer sales the second it hits 2am. Cash back is another story. That is just spoke preference an overnight cashier has access to limited funds, as accounting isn't in the store at this time. Now and then, however, I bend the rules and give cash. Ask any cashier that has been doing their job a while. We all have a general idea of how much is in our till, and if we can support a cash out. I knew I could give her cash back. I had enough for her even if she wanted the max we give, which is $40. What I didn't have enough for was there out of the four people in line who got the "Oh shit. I could use some cash," look. The woman snarled at me, and kissed, "All the other *sir name here* I've been to give cash after 10." The customer in line who didn't have the 'I want cash look,' turned to the woman and went, and I quote, "Then why don't you go to one of those then?" Do any of you know how hard it is to keep a straight face when someone says something like that? The moral of this story, I think, is of you want can at an ungodly hour, hit an ATM. We have them right by the door for easy access. I'm not a goddamn bank.

[blameitonnelly]

Are You Open Here, Or ...

Really short rant this time. Call it a Cliff Notes version. Few things bother me as much as stupid people. There should be a test at the door to shop after 10pm. If you don't pass, you'll have to wait until morning. People come in at 2 am, and do one of three things when it comes time to check out. Some come through the line like a 'normal' person and are able to handle themselves. They might also walk past the only open lane looking for an express lane, despite the fact they've been here hundreds of times. My absolute favorite, however, is when I'm stocking candy a few lanes from where my register is, which has the only lit light in the store indicating it is the one open, will open with, "Hey. Are you open here?" Or just start loading groceries onto the belt. Where is the cut off? There had to be a point where people aren't allowed out into the world. That's probably why they're shopping at night, though, isn't it?

[blameitonnelly]

Tits 'n' Tots

Now that I have your attention, this little rant is going to cover abortion, plastic surgery, and general body modification. I know they’re controversial, and as such, I’m going to touch on the one that has people up in arms about something that isn’t their right to have a say in. Maybe I should be more specific. I’m talking about the one that involves you making a fuss about the decisions someone makes about their own body, not yours … Hmmm.

In all seriousness, however, I’m talking about abortion. Pro-Life. Pro-Choice. I don’t care what side of the table your sitting on. Everyone has an opinion, and is allowed to share it, to an extent. I, myself, am pro-choice. I’ll talk more on my thoughts in a moment. Let’s firsfirst get to the legality of things. The laws in the US vary slightly state to state, but I’ll be talking about the New York Lars, specifically the portion pertaining to what qualifies as a legal abortion.

In New York, it is considered a legal abortion as long as it is performed within the first 24 weeks, or to preserve the mother’s life. That’s about all there is to it. They don’t need consent from the parents or parents either, as long as the mother is 18, and there’s no abortion ‘cooldown’ period.

I want to be clear that I am not in support of abortions just because you’re a slut, don’t like the way condoms feel, etc etc. It’s not acceptable just because you don’t use contraceptives, and have money to blow. I do, however, believe that if you don’t believe you could handle the financial responsibility or caring for another human being, it’s a viable option. Other notable examples might include broken or failed contraceptive uses. They aren’t 100% effective. Oh yeah. And rape. Rape is a very good reason to be allowed to abort, if you ask me. No one should be forced to carry the child of someone who forced them into that position in the first place.

I sit here reading all these arguments about how it’s another life you’re taking abortion is murder, things like that. So here’s my rebuttal for all of you. That little parasite is literally attached to that woman. She fucking GREW that inside her. Up to a point, let’s call it 24 weeks, I think we can let that be a part of her body, not that you’d have any jurisdiction over the child’s body or decisions either beyond that point, anyway. Feel how you want about it. I’m not the one who’s reading the rants of a soon to be parent on a topic that possess me off, am I? Moving on.

Plastic surgery. Tattoos. Implants. Unnecessary surgery and body modification as a fashion statement. I don’t know how many ways I can express my disdain for people who try to tell others what they can and can’t do with their bodies. Sure, plastic surgery might sometimes be completely unnecessary, and if done excessively, be utterly unsightly. And even as someone with tattoos and piercings, solve of them make me scratch my head. Gauges in the cheeks, split tongue, full face tattoos, and pierced genitalia? Those things might not be my cup of tea, but I’m not going to call someone a freak, or give them shit about it. Just because you don’t like something, doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole.

[blameitonnelly]

iPaid Too Much

Everywhere I look, I see people with their faces buried in their phones. I can't say much. I'm buried in mine right now typing this rant. I can however complain about Apple. What the fuck are they even doing over there? They just keep shitting out a new phone with minimal effort, and the consumer gobbles it up. Sounds a little like a video game I know ... But let's not really about Call of Duty just yet. I used to own a lot of Apple devices. I had a few iPods. My wife had a Mac. They work well enough, but they have some HUGE flaws. The iPhone, for example, is a huge pile of shit, to put it bluntly. Owning one of those made me miss my old Nokia brick. I dropped my iPhone, in its case, and the screen spawned so deep, the bottom half of my touchscreen went unresponsive. It's not like I dropped it far. The problem is the glad they put in the phones is just terrible. When they sort in your pocket, your body heat earns up the screen to a point that the integrity becomes so compromised, even your case can't save you. I cracked 3 screens in a month and a half. If a shock resistant case won't save a phone, what good is that phone. I know it's not the case, either. I've used the Otterbox for a while now, and never have problems with them on Android phones. To me, that points the big finger at the iPhone. It's not just them though. On to the Mac. I personally never bought one of them for a few reasons. At college, all the systems were Mac, and I found the interface to be too abrasive compared to my Windows OS. I'd take a Windows '98 computer over a Mac, hands down. The customizability alone was a seller for me. That, and when I have a problem with a Windows machine, I don't need to replace the whole fucking machine. I might have to wipe my hard drive and start over, but I'm not buying a new computer. My wife's MSc just stopped working one day. Out of the blue. After several failed bot attempts, we took it to the Apple store. The problem? Logic board died. That blows my mind. The brain of the computer just up and died. So I thought if just order a replacement, slap it in, good to go. Not so much. It was almost cheaper to buy a new computer, firstly. And trying to get that in and out easily would have been a huge pain in the ass. For the price of machines that didn't need antivirus software because they are so 'hard to code' for ... These 'secure' features to safe guard your privacy *cough cough iCloud leak* I could buy and upgrade a Windows machine that will last me forever, is easy to fix, and cheap to boot.

[blameitonnelly]

"No More Than $200, Though"

It seems like every day, I’m reminded why certain people seem to only come out at night. They’re like those of us that work the night shift to begin with. None of us should really be let out into public. The things that come out of some of my coworker’s mouths would make a trucker blush. This but isn’t about us though. It’s about it estranged customers.

I though it was going to be a slow night. Things were going fairly smoothly, but then, I’d only been here about an hour. It wasn’t long, however, when she came and broke the silence. “Well you can tell him to go fuck himself.” That was the hell that signalled the beginning of the change. A woman walked across the front end of the store, shouting into her cell phone. She was roughly 5'3" and wearing a grey tank top, and a pair of PINK post workout sweats. You know the kind I’m talking about. Loose on the leg, heavier material.

She was meandering back and forth across the store, arguing with what we can only assume to be her boyfriend, based on the context of the snippets we catch from the conversation. All I know is she got kicked out of the house, and was in the store for a few hours.

The grocery portion of night crew goes on break at 12:30 every night. At this point, she’s wandering around upstairs in the café area. We close this area to the public a few hours before then to make our area of responsibility a little smaller. The closing manager, or as close as you can get in a 24 hour store, goes upstairs to ask her to come down. The woman then spends the next 15 minutes or so bothering the employees, asking each in turn of they have a pair of headphones she can buy from them.

They all just blow her off and tell her no. I know for a fact none of them carry headphones. You know where you can buy a pair, though? The store. We sell them on every register. I guess one of them got fed up and divulged this little nugget to her, because back my way she came. This is where things get fantastic.

So she comes through my line, headphones in hand. Instead of just buying them and going about her business, she approached like she read in a hurry, eyes dating a bit. It would be a safe bet to assume she was under the influence of something. As she’s rummaging for her credit card, her opening line was memorable. Damn near quotable, in fact.

“I’m not crazy. She’s (gesturing at my manager) really nice. She was very polite and stuff when she came and got me. I’d vote her employee of the month if it was up to me, but it ain’t. But I would.” She pauses for a half a second, then adds, “I admit, I stole from here before. No more than like $200 dollars, though. … I don’t know why I told you that.” I didn’t know what to say.

At this point I turn to look at my manager, jaw agape, but ‘not crazy’ had already scampered back of into the store. I, naturally, alerted my manager to the information I was, for whatever reason, given and she passed that on to the Night Crew Chief. It wasn’t even an hour later she had caused enough of a disturbance to warrant a call to security to have them send someone over. Meanwhile, our disruptive friend is now putting on a full blown dance production around the store, belting out whatever she was listening to. Security called the police, and in less than 10 minutes they had arrived.

Five of them. The next customer i had looked a little nervous to see 5 uniforms roaming around. That made me smirk a little. Turning around, i see 'not crazy' hauling across the front end, yelling, "Oh shit! There's three of them now!" They finally cornered her near the bakery, and at one point even had to threaten to tase her for resisting. In one final act of rebellion, captain badass, on her way out kicked over a wet floor sign.

Nights like that almost make me glad I work the shift. The crazies, drunks, and stoners ... they're my kind of people.

[blameitonnelly]

You Can Run ...

Kids can be cruel. Four words you’ll hear quite often in defense of the horrendous actions of our youths. They’re not wrong. Children are some of the most terrible creatures on this planet. Sure, adults are capable of unspeakable things, but the vast majority of us know where to draw the line. Know when things have gone too far. I would rather find myself in the company of mass murderers than in a room of 8th graders. They don’t have a filter, or any sign of a limitation. There isn’t anything to stop the pure evil that kids spout. Children are, and always will be, the masters of psychological warfare.

I recently watched the film Unfinished Business, and they made a point about bullying that sort of shocked me, because I’d never really thought about it. The older guys were all saying about how in their day, you could only bully us until 2:30 in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. After that, we were free. Out of school, and out of the crosshairs.

The younger generation, though, made a point about the way technology had caused bullying to really evolve. It doesn’t stop at the schoolyard anymore. With Facebook and Twitter and all of our smartphones, you can’t escape just because you left the school. The hurt gets sent virtually now. The psychological terror never ends.

Even with all of this going on right in front of them parents seem shocked their children are depressed. In fact, in the last couple months, I have heard of at least three kids, who were barely entering their teens, ending their lives. There’s nowhere you can run, and unfortunately, these kids felt they only had one way they could finally escape from it all.