blinkingfastandcryingslow - Tumblr blog

[blinkingfastandcryingslow]

You know what I hate the most? When I am just casually sitting. breathing.existing and this random wave of reality hits me that I might never, NEVER reach or even know my full potential. I always feel like I am stuck in a infinite loop in the movie 'everything, everywhere, all at once' except I never reach that multiverse where I am at my 'maximum potential' but I live every single day of 'wasted potential'. And is so frustrating because there are so many things that I'd like to do, that I'd want to acheive and experience. The thing is I can't seem to pin down what it is that's not working out or if there is infact even a 'thing' to work out or I am just making something out of nothing so I just sit there at 3pm staring at the TV screen watching masterchef Australia with all thunder but no storm.

[blinkingfastandcryingslow]

/ The Serotonin of Looking forward to Things/

You know that feeling when you begin something and you start finding joy in it? The serotonin rush of waiting for the clock to strike 5 so you can head out for your violin class, you wake up looking forward to doing ‘that’ thing that has given you a newfound joy and you want to hold on to it for as long as possible / because sometimes throughout the day, that’s the only thing that keeps you going- that one hour of dance practice, that intense HIIT workout at the gym, that 3-minute walk to your favorite café where you go each afternoon because ‘Work from Home’ can be non-suffocating only for so long. There are these few moments that you have made time for in your daily touch-and-go, hustle-bustle lifestyle where you truly begin to feel the most connected to yourself, and every problem, every struggle blur out, and in those instances, you experience what “being and living in the moment” feels like and god knows how much you craved for that feeling. So you make efforts, every day, over and over again, to feel that for as much time you can afford to trade for it.