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blondie1locks · 3 years

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This is gonna be a stucky fanfiction my people. I am so mad that they didn’t get their happy ending in Endgame. That was bullllllsssshhhhhhiiiiiiitttttttt. I honestly had a hard time watching Steve not only turn into an old ass man because he wanted to “live his life.” Bitch Bucky is your life, and why tf did you not give him your shield. Honestly if Bucky had the shield he would be too op. I said what I said. Anyway on to the fic!!!! (This is a sickfic so if that bothers you scroll away!)

In the Avengers Tower Bucky was currently sleeping in Steve’s bed. Steve had long since woken up and went for a run, ate the awful breakfast Tony had made with the other Avengers, and was now hanging out in the main room watching Clint and Thor play Mario Kart together. Loki kept laughing at Thor as he swerved off the road, even though he didn’t play video games himself. Loki left to go read, and Nat and Steve were about to go train when Steve realised that Bucky hadn't woken up yet which was very out of the ordinary, considering because of their military training they had always had to wake up at the crack of dawn, not to mention with Bucky’s Hydra experience he had barely slept. It was just eating away at Steve’s brain, Bucky usually woke up when Steve did, he would sometimes go on his runs with him and run even faster than Steve.

“Hey you okay?” Nat said tapping his shoulder.

“I think I’m gonna go check on Bucky.”

“Yeah, shit he hasn't woken up has he?” She said scrunching her eyebrows together. “Go ahead Steve, we can train later.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, No problem, I think I need a drink anyway.” She said tapping his back. Steve walked into his room trying to be as quiet as possible, Bucky was curled up, holding a pillow close to his chest. He didn’t look very peaceful to be honest. Steve walked up to the bed quietly, sitting down on the bed. He pushed Bucky’s hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. He tapped Bucky’s shoulder.

“Buck.” He whispered. “Bucky.” He said louder. Bucky rolled over, rubbing his eyes.

“Stevie?” He whined.

“Yeah, Buck it’s late, you wanna wake up?” He said stroking Bucky’s long hair.

“I don’t feel good.” He said curling up against the pillow. Steve was a little taken back, honestly he thought Hydra had made him so that he couldn’t get sick? Maybe not.

“What hurts?” He asked, scooting closer to Bucky, and allowing him to put his head on Steve’s chest.

“Everything.” He said curling into Steve. “My arm, my stomach, my head, my lungs”

“Okay, it’s gonna be okay Buck.” Kissing Bucky’s head, he pulled the blankets further over them. “I will be right back, okay?”

“No, don't leave.” Bucky whined.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” Steve left the room, although he felt guilty about it. He went to the kitchen.

“Hey, you okay?” Tony asked after seeing the worried expression on Steve’s face.

“Bucky’s sick.” He said.

“What, how?” “I didn’t even know he could get sick.” Tony said sipping his coffee.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure ethier but he’s definitely sick.” Steve said searching around in the medicine cabinets.

“My only question is why?” “Why would Hydra make it so that he could be sick, wouldn’t that be a disadvantage for them?” Tony questioned, putting his coffee cup on the counter. “Think of it this way right, Hydra is creating this super soldier, one of many, so they are supposed to be practically invincible, right?” “Then wouldn’t they try to make it so that he would never be compromised during battle?”

“At the end of the day he’s still human, and he’s not Hydra’s.” Steve said getting the Advil, Pepto Bismol, and Calartine out. He walked over to the fridge to get water, and applesauce.

“I know, I know.” “But, they gave him all these powers, and they didn't take away his ability to get sick?” “Also you know that’s for allergies right?”

“He said his lungs hurt.” Steve said, getting out the water.

“Wait, what else did he say hurt?” Tony said, putting his hand on his chin.

“Uh, his head, stomach, lungs, and arm?”

“His left arm?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask.” Steve said, starting to get annoyed.

“I think they did this on purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hydra, it’s like part of his programing to get sick once in a while so that he needs to rely on them to make it feel better.” Tony said, speaking slowly.

“That, kind of makes sense.”

“Wasn’t he sick around this time a few months ago?”

“Yeah…” Steve said, starting to understand.

“See.”

“Yeah, I see.” “I think I should uh get back to him though.”

“Yeah, I’ll do more research.” Tony said.

“You, really don't have to.” Steve said, making it obvious that he didn’t want Tony to.

“Fine, I won’t.”

“Thank you.” Steve said staring to walk away.

“But-” Tony started.

“I’m going to see Bucky now.” Steve said, not stopping to hear the rest of what Tony was saying. Steve walked into his room, setting his things down on the nightstand, Bucky was asleep again.

“Hey, Buck?” Steve said, sitting down.

“Mm?”

“How you feelin’ everything still hurt?” Bucky whimpered. “Aw, Buck, I’m sorry.” he said kissing the top of his head.

“Feel sick.” Bucky said smushing his face into the pillow.

“Throw up sick?” Steve said, still stroking his hair. Bucky nodded. “Okay, that’s okay, come ‘ere.” He said helping Bucky up. They walked into the bathroom, Steve supporting most of Bucky’s weight. Bucky fell, or almost fell, in front of the bathroom doorway, his weight collapsing on Steve.

“It’s okay, I got you, I got you.” He said as Bucky whimpered. Steve set him down in front of the toilet.

“Stevie.” Bucky whimpered.

“I got you.” He said sitting beside Bucky on the bathroom floor. Bucky burped a little, leaning forward so his face was over the toilet bowl. He gagged, and bile and spit spilled out of his lips, dribbling a little bit as it sprung from his bottom lip into the toilet bowl.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” He said, making him sound very small and afraid.

“That’s okay.” Steve said, rubbing his back. Steve felt bad that Bucky thought he had to be worried about throwing up, like it was something he shouldn’t be doing. Bucky gagged, his shoulder’s shaking. He had to hold on to the toilet so hard his knuckles were white just to keep his face in the vicinity of the bowl. Steve noticed, and propped him up so that if his hands got tired he wouldn’t vomit all over himself and the floor. Bucky heaved again, but nothing came up. The wet hiccups had just begun, and Bucky felt his insides flip, his core contracted as he involuntarily heaved, bringing up a watery vomit, and stomach acid that burned the back of his throat. He gagged again as more vomit spilled out of him, he felt tears in his eyes as he forcefully heaved forward, projectile vomiting into the toilet, his metal arm grabbing onto the toilet seat for support. His vomiting finally calmed down, and he relaxed back against Steve, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He was painting heavily.

“You done?” Steve said, rubbing Bucky’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” He said weakly. Steve flushed the toilet, and left Bucky propped up against the bathtub, his face beaded with sweat, as he shook and panted. Steve came back with medicine, water, and applesauce.

“You think you can take this?” Steve said, shaking the Pepto bottle.

“ I think so.” He said, words semi slurred. Steve handed him a water bottle, and a pill. Bucky swallowed. It, but when Steve asked him to drink some water, Bucky’s body rejected it, and bile spilled out of his mouth, and onto his shirt. He gagged again sending more watery vomit onto himself. Then there was nothing left to bring up and he just felt like shit.

“Okay, It’s okay Buck.” Steve said Sitting next to him. Bucky started crying, it was obvious he was in a lot of pain. “Shhh, Shhh.” Steve said kissing the top of his head, and wrapping his arms around him, not caring if any of the contents got onto him.

“No, Stevie don’t it’ll get all on you too.” Bucky said between sobs.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” Steve said rocking him back and forth. When Bucky calmed down Steve asked him “Okay, we ready to get this shirt off?”

“Yeah.” Bucky said weakly. Steve pulled the shirt over Bucky’s head, and helped him continue undressing before turning on the shower and waiting for the water to get warmer.

“You want your arm off?” he cooed. “You said it was bothering you earlier.”

“Yeah.” Bucky said leaning back against Steve. Steve tried to remove Bucky’s arm as gently as possible, but bucky kept writhing in pain.

“I’m sorry, am I hurting you?” “You can keep it on if you want.”

“No, no I want it off, it just hurts.” He whimpered. Steve nodded, and removed the metal arm, even though it pained him to see Bucky whimpering each time he touched the base of it. Steve placed the arm on the counter and saw the red raw skin around Bucky’s shoulder.

“Oh, Buck.” He said, kissing the top of his head. That looked really painful. Bucky whimpered in response. Steve got undressed, and helped Bucky get into the shower, because both of them smelled like vomit. They got out, and steve put on a towel before wrapping one around Bucky. Steve helped Bucky get dressed, while also dressing himself, and then he went to take a look at the damage on his shoulder. Steve had Bucky’s new shirt laid out, but didn’t help him put it on yet, because he wanted to deal with the red raw skin that was causing Bucky so much pain. Steve got a washcloth and a bowl of ice water, and began to dab the area. Bucky whimpered, but said that the ice water felt nice. Because the washcloth was causing so much pain, he ended up just sticking his shoulder into the ice water. The relife was clear on his face. He exhaled a breath that he seemed to be holding for a while.

“That feels good?” Steve asked, holding the bowl up.

“Yeah.” Bucky sighed. “Really good.” Steve put the bowl down after a while and gently dried off the area with a finner washcloth, which Bucky said hurt less. Then he carefully put cream on the area, even though this hurt Bucky a lot. Then, he bandaged it up very loosely, and helped Bucky put his shirt on. Bucky tried to look in the mirror, but Steve wouldn’t let him, Bucky was very self conscious about how he looked without his metal arm on, so much so to the point he would start crying or try to hurt himself. Nobody except Steve had ever seen him without it.

“Can I put it back on?” Buck said, bouncing his leg.

“No, that’s gonna hurt a lot, just try to relax okay?” He said kissing Bucky’s nose.

“K.” Bucky said even though he didn’t look very relaxed.

��Come on,” Steve said, helping Bucky up. “Let’s try to take some more medicine, okay?” he said softly, helping Bucky onto the bed. “You think you could keep it down?”

“I’ll try my best.” Bucky said, like it was something he could control.

“It’s not your fault if you can’t, okay?”

“Okay.” Buck said quietly, Steve could tell Bucky was going to think it was completely his fault if he couldn’t keep it down.

“My lungs hurt.” “and my head.”

“Stomach feeling better?” Steve said, setting down the water and medicine.

“It feels...unsettled.”

“Okay, this is Advil, you can start by taking this.” Steve was sure to explain everything that Bucky put into his body, medicine, food, drinks. Just so that he knew what it was, and that it wasn’t harmful. Especially with medicines, because he hadn't been exposed to them while at hydra, they kinda just gave you steroids, and painful drugs.

“What does it do?”

“It’s a pain reliever.” That was good enough for Bucky, and he swallowed this pill. They waited a minute and it seemed to be good. So they moved on to the next.

“Okay this is Pepto Bismol,” Steve said, holding up the pink pill. “You took this earlier, it’s for your stomach.” Bucky swallowed it with no incidents, as well as Clariton, which Steve was hoping would help relieve the pain in his chest. Bucky’s stomach was gurgling, as he curled up against Steve, waiting for the meds to kick in. Bucky burped, and exhaled a large breath.

“Can I tell Nat you’re hurting?” Steve said gently to Bucky. “She’s really good at taking care of people, or Bruce, he’s a doctor.”

“You can tell but they can’t come in.” Buck whined. “See me and my ugly arm.” He buried his head into Steve's side. Steve didn’t want Bucky to feel uncomfortable about them seeing his ‘ugly arm’ or lack thereof. So he dropped it. But as he thought about it, Bucky wasn’t making very much sense, he may be running a fever.

“Buck, I’ll be right back okay?” Steve said, positioning Bucky on his side so that if he threw up he wouldn’t choke on it. Bucky’s stomach gurgled again as Steve left, and Bucky fell into a restless sleep.

Steve went out into the main room.

“Hey, how’s he doing?” Nat said sympathetically.

“Not very good,” He rubbed his eye “He’s in a lot of pain, his arm is all red and raw, I mean I took care of it the best I could but-”

“I can look at it.” Bruce said.

“No, no, he’s got this thing,” Steve started “He’s very self-conscious about it, to like the point of crying and self harm, I blocked the mirror, so I think it’ll be okay but uh- no, no people in there but me.”

“Shit.” Natasha said.

“Do we have um- a thermometer?”

“Yeah, I think Tony had it last though, and he never puts things back in the right place.” Nat said, eating another corn chip.

“K, I’ll ask him.” Steve walked into Tony’s workshop. “Hey, Tony, do you have the thermometer?”

“Huh?” “Oh yeah- it’s right here.” He said handing it to Steve.

“Thanks.” Steve walked back into the room. Bucky was very sweaty. “Hey, can I take your temperature?” Bucky Nodded.

Steve sat down on the bed, and held the reader up to Bucky’s forehead.

“Wats is it?” Bucky asked, Steve was concerned by how slurred his words were.

“103” “Shit.” Steve cursed under his breath.

“Stevie, my tummy hurts.” He said curling into his side.

“It’s okay, It’s gonna be okay.” He said kissing the top of his head. “Come here.” He let Bucky lean his weight onto him, and he pulled down his sweatpants a little to rub his stomach. Bucky’s abs were intact but his stomach was very bloated and hard, it looked very painful. “Can I rub it?” Bucky nodded. Steve rubbed his stomach gently, pressing down not very hard at all with the tips of his fingers. He put two hands on Bucky’s stomach, and began to massage gently. “It feels like it's a painful buck, you wanna go to the bathroom?” He cooed hoping that his stomach might calm down if he emptied his bowels.

“Can’t.”

“Why?” he said, pulling Bucky’s pants back up.

“ ‘M too weak.” “See.” Bucky tried to sit up on his own, but was unsuccessful. And when he was close he fell backwards.

“It’s okay, I can help you.” Steve said, running his fingers through Bucky’s sweaty hair. Bucky shook his head, his stomach growled again, and he tried to hide the grimace on his face.

“Bucky, you’re in pain, let me help you.” Steve said, honestly he didn’t find the situation embarrassing at all, Bucky didn’t mind anyone else having normal bodily functions, but Hydra had made him believe that he needed to be ashamed of any weaknesses. Which is why at Hydra, they used a bunch of tubes, and weird drugs Steve didn’t understand so that their soldiers didn’t really have these functions. Probably because they didn’t want to clean that up when they would lock them in cells for “bad behavior.”

Bucky eventually was in too much pain to resist, and Steve helped him to the bathroom, he sat him down on the toilet, and Just stood next to him, holding his arms back so that he wouldn’t fall off of the toilet. Bucky was sweating bullets, and soft chunks fell out of him as his stomach still gurgled, eventually the consistency turned to water, and when it finally stopped Bucky was about ready to pass out. Steve reached over and flushed the toilet. Bucky was still sitting on there staring blankly into nothing.

“You okay Buck?” Bucky heaved forward and threw up all over his bare legs, it wasn’t much, but it was painful nonetheless. He started to cry again, his shoulders bouncing up and down, Bucky cleaned himself up, then Steve helped him over to the bathtub to wash the vomit off his legs. Steve removed the shower head, and started spraying down Bucky’s legs.

“Stevie.” He sobbed. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” He said, still crying.

“Shhh, that’s okay, the water will wash it away.” He said kissing his head. Bucky started to sweat again as Steve continued hosing down his legs, most of the vomit was off already. Bucky heaved forward, and threw up into the bathtub. He heaved again, more of the foul smelling vomit pouring out of him and into the tub.

“I’m sorry.” He was now sobbing even harder.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, nothing,”

“I’m so gross.” He said his crying carrying out the s.

“No, no Buck it’s completely normal, you're just sick,” He said, putting some soap on Bucky's legs, the vomit already down the drain. “Please, please don’t be so hard on yourself, I love you, nobody, nobody thinks you’re gross.” “I promise.”

“Okay.” He sniffled. After putting on some pants, Bucky fell asleep. Steve, not wanting to wake him up went back to check in with everyone.

“Hi Steve.” Bruce said, making a sandwich.

“Steve, hey, how’s Bucky?” Nat asked.

“He’s,” he sighed. “He’s really not good.”

“What happened?” Wanda said. Loki was reading a book, Thor was sitting with him, trying to read along as Loki flipped the pages quickly. Tony was writing something down, probably some new idea or math equation. Clint was waiting for his sandwich, it seemed like everyone was there. He wished Bucky could join.

“He um, at first he was just sleeping for a while, so I went to check on him, and he said that uh everything hurt, his arm, his lungs, his head, his stomach, and then he started throwing up.” “He threw up all over himself uh multiple times today actually, diarrhea, his shoulder is all red and raw, he has his arm off so he hates himself.” “He’s, I wish I could do more.” Steve said, finishing up the story of how his day had been going.

“Oh shit.” Wanda said.

“He’s sleeping now so I just wanted to come out here so that I don’t wake him up.”

“You smell like death.” Tony said looking up from his writing.

“Yeah I was puked on.” “I mean I took a shower but-”

“The smell is definitely still very prominent.” Tony said.

“Shut the fuck up Tony.” Nat said.

“Tony is convinced he has this ‘super powerful’ nose that can detect any scent.” Wanda said.

“Yeah, you smell fine.” Bruce said.

“A little death-y.” Clint added. Nat glared at him. “What!?” “I said a little.”

“You wanna watch some TV?” Bruce asked Steve, trying to be his comforting little self.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve said walking over to the main room couch. He was followed by everyone else, and after a little while into the movie everyone was relaxed and happy. Nat was throwing Popcorn to see if Clint could catch it, Bruce was looking to make sure Steve was doing okay, and everyone else was pretty peaceful just watching the movie. Steve almost forgot about how much pain Bucky was in, almost.

In The bedroom:

Bucky felt his head throb, the splitting headache awoke him after about an hour of shallow sleep. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt swollen shut, he felt the pit of fear deep in the depths of his stomach. He put his hand up to his eyes, feeling around for anything out of the ordinary, but they seemed fine. He slowly tried to open his eyes again, and with effort he was able to pry them open. Not to see much though, his face was smashed in the pillow, and when he pulled his head up he was overwhelmed with an amazing sense of vertigo. The room span and swayed, teetering on and invisible ledge. He tried to close his eyes, but he could still feel it as he span faster and faster in circles around the room. Not ever really leaving his bed. He felt himself falling through the bed, and through the floor, hurdling into nothingness. He placed his hand on the bedpost, and with a not-so-iron grip, he tried to steady himself. His body rejected him as he vomited directly onto his shirt, it was warm, and thicker than before now that steve had made him eat a little. It was smoothly running down from the base of his neck down to the end of his shirt, he felt himself gag again, and unable to do anything to stop it more vomit pooled into his shirt, and onto his bare chest. It smelled awful, and the warmth made him nauseous. The thought of it all was enough to make him continue to gag well after he had emptied his stomach.

“Steve?” He whispered, knowing that he wasn’t in the room and could not hear him. He burped, it momentarily getting caught in his throat as he prepared to vomit again, but he had nothing left, so instead stomach acid was regurgitated up and spilled down the front of him. He felt hot, a cold sweat broke out on his forehead as he shivered despite how hot he felt. He needed Steve, he needed his help, but it was so hard to move, the fire spread down his limbs, and he was painting heavily before he was even out of bed. He was weak, and he collapsed onto the wall, catching himself just before he hit the ground. Pain rocketed through his shoulder, and spread down his side. He finally managed to get up after sitting there for a while, he had to walk maybe 2-3 feet, but he was so unsure if he could do it. He brought himself to the doorframe of the hallway into the main room, panting heavily. He had to walk to the doorway next to him, which was in front of the couch to get Steve’s attention. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He didn’t have his arm on. He looked down at the shoulder which should have a nice metal arm attached to it, but was instead swollen and red raw. It was loosely bandaged, and needed to be cleaned again, it was awful. Stevie. His brain backtracked, I need help.

Bucky walked the short distance to the other doorway, and hid his shoulder behind the wall, making everything visible to the Avengers but that. They looked up at the sudden presence.

“Stevie.” Bucky said very quietly, almost crying. In a quick 1-2 manor Steve was up at his side.

“Oh, Buck.” He said, kissing his head. Everyone pretended not to be interested as Steve led his vomit covered boyfriend into their room. Steve walked behind Bucky so that nobody could see his shoulder.

In the room:

As soon as the door closed Bucky started to cry. He hiccuped, and sobbed, unaware of the vomit on his chin.

“It’s okay, come ‘ere.” Steve said. “Lift your arm up.” Bucky did as told, and Steve lifted his shirt over his head. Steve noticed that under his shirt was just as dirty.

“I didn’t mean to.” Bucky sobbed. “I never meant to I-” Steve cut him off with soothing words.

“It’s totally okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” He hummed helping Bucky to the bathroom.

“They-” He hiccuped. “Are all.” hiccup “Mad.” hiccup “at.-” hiccup “MeEeEeEe.” He said, his sobbing unevenly carrying out the last letter.

“No, no, Buck, nobody’s mad.” He cooed gently, getting a washcloth wet.

“I think I threw up on the floor.” He sheepishly said, tears still streaming down his face.

“That’s okay.” Steve said, wiping Bucky’s mouth and chin with the gentle washcloth. “Okay, Buck can you tell me how you feel, so we can fix it?”

“I don’t feel good.” He said, his voice childlike.

“I know baby, I know.” Steve said, placing Bucky’s now clean face on his chest. “Tell me what hurts.”

“I- I don’t know.” Bucky cried, more sobs racking his body.

“Shhh, shhh, that’s okay, take your time.”

“I’m trying to tell you I don’t know how.” Bucky said, snot dripping from his nose.

“You feel dizzy, stomach ache, head hurts, sick to your stomach?” “Want me to say more?” Steve said rubbing Bucky’s naked back.

“No, I got it, I uh I was dizzy, everything was all spinny and weird when I woke up.” he hiccuped, sniffling he started again. “Then I threw up, and I couldn’t stop.” He started crying.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” Steve said. “You’re doing great.”

“I-I uh I wanted to go find you, so I tried to walk, but it was too hard, it was so hot, and I was all shaky, and I fell into the wall.” “I-I don’t know Stevie.��

“That’s okay, that’s enough you did perfect, you did so good.” He said kissing into his hair. “You wanna get cleaned up?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Bucky whined. Steve helped Bucky undress, and sit down in the bath, then he took the showerhead down, and rinsed him off, he used soap to wash his chest. Helping Bucky out of the Bath, and wrapping a towel around him, before taking another look at his shoulder.

“We need to change those?” He said pointing to the bandages.

“I- I want.” Bucky got frustrated not being able to find the words, but Steve was very patient.

“What do you want Buck?” He cooed rubbing his shoulder.

“Cold.” He said making hand motions around his left shoulder. Steve didn’t want to correct him, so he just said. “Okay, we’ll get you some ice water, okay?” gently.

“Yeah.” Bucky said relaxing against Steve as they sat down.

“Are you hungry?” Steve said, hoping he could get anything into Bucky, even something like ice cream, it didn’t matter he just needed something. Bucky shrugged, he was very dehydrated and confused, Steve knew he didn’t know if he was hungry. But it didn’t matter because he needed to eat. Bucky sat on the ground weight on the tub to support him.

“K, I’ll be right back.” Steve said.

“Is he okay?” Nat asked.

“Dude he threw up all over himself.” Clint said, eating popcorn.

“How is he?” Wanda asked.

“He’s confused, I’m gonna get him some food.” Steve said walking to the kitchen, while still talking. “His arm hurts again, he said he fell into the wall.”

“Shit, Steve let me take a look.” Bruce jumped in.

“I think he’s too tired to realise he doesn't have his arm on, but if he asks you to leave, I want you to.” Steve said.

“But if he’s in pain-” Bruce began.

“He’s been through worse, trust me, if he wants you to leave, you have to leave, because I don’t think you want him to hate himself, if it’s your fault he falls back into a deep depression, I’m not gonna let that go.” Steve said getting ice water in a bowl.

“Okay, I’ll respect what you want.” Bruce said. Steve sighed.

“Thank you.” Steve said, feeling relieved.

Bucky was dressed, he was in another T-shirt and sweatpants, I think his third outfit that day.

“Hey Buck.” Steve said sympathetically, crouching down in front of him.

“Hey.” Bucky said, his eyes closed. Steve started to un-do the bandages, and Bucky’s eyes shot open. He winced, pulling back.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve said, undoing them still. Bucky was breathing quickly and hard, the pain was very bad. Eventually Steve got them off, showing that Bucky’s shoulder looked brutal, it was red raw and swollen, he held up the ice bowl to his shoulder, and Bucky looked very relieved.

“That’s what you wanted right?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, good.”

“Feels good?” Steve asked, trying to make sense of what Bucky was saying.

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded. Steve made the signal for Bruce to come in, Bucky was very relaxed, head on Steve’s shoulder, shoulder in the ice water. He had a look of utter relaxation on his face. Bruce kneeled down.

“Hi Bucky.” He said sweetly, like how you would talk to a young child.

“Hi.” Bucky said, barely registering it, other than his brain’s automatic response.

“Can I take a look at you?”

“Sure.” Bucky said quietly, not paying attention.

“Okay, can you tell me if any of these hurt.” Bucky nodded. Bruce poked at Bucky’s appendix, he said it felt fine, stomach felt fine, lungs felt fine, his lymph nodes and esophagus he winced at causing Steve a look of worry. Bruce took off his gloves.

“Good job Bucky.” He said. “That pain is probably from throwing up so much.” “He’s dehydrated, arm pain is just raw from his metal arm, and most likely one of hydra’s mechanisms like Tony said, because usually it doesn't cause this much pain.” “It’s inflamed, your doing the right thing for it, just try to get some water and food in him, I’ll come back with some meds.”

“Thank you so much Bruce.” Steve said.

“Of course.” Bruce said, leaving.

“Okay, you gotta eat and drink something Buck.” Steve concluded.

“Mmm, I don’t wanna.” He whined.

“Doctor’s orders.” Steve said bringing in some food and water. Bucky’s arm had been re-bandaged, and he said it was feeling better. Steve was hopeful that he could keep the food down. Bucky did not want to eat, which who could blame him? His stomach was sore, and he felt like crap.

“Come on Buck, please, you drank the water really well.” Steve said, holding up some applesauce.

“No.” Bucky frowned. “Where’s my arm?” He said looking down. Now that he was hydrated he was less confused, and more aware of what was going on around him. Steve wasn’t sure if he even realized Bruce had been in here.

“It’s over there.” Steve said pointing to his arm on the counter.

“I want it back,” Bucky whispered. “Please.”

“No, not yet, it’s hurting you.” Steve said, stroking his hair. Steve helped Bucky eat some food. “You feel better?” Steve said rubbing his back.

“Yeah.” Bucky said.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Steve said. “We could watch something with everyone out in the main room-”

“My arm…” Bucky whispered.

“They won’t even notice Buck.”

“Yes they will, I look stupid. So ugly.” he whined.

“Come on Buck, I promise.” Steve said, playing with his hair.

“What if I get sick-” Bucky whispered mostly to himself, but Steve could hear him.

“That’s okay.” “They won’t mind.” “Five minutes, for me Buck.”

“Okay…” “But-” You could hear the nerves in his voice.

“If you want to leave, we can, as soon as you say the word, we’re just gonna try it.”

“Okay..” They walked out together, Bucky grabbed a blanket to put around his shoulders, and he held it in the front so that you couldn’t see his arm was missing. Even still, he was hiding behind Steve, or “walking.” behind him.

“So you guys decided to join?” Nat said moving the popcorn bowl that was holding Steve’s spot onto the floor.

“Yeah, we might just stay for a little bit.” Steve said sitting down, pulling Bucky into his lap, Bucky was sitting on Steve’s left leg, he squished his body up into the place between the cushion and the arm of the couch, and slid backwards, to even more hide the fact his arm was missing. To be honest nobody even cared, or was looking for that matter. Bucky just wanted to be safe, if anyone looked they wouldn’t see the lack of arm.

“Are you comfortable like that?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded. Bucky put his head on Steve’s shoulder while watching the movie. His hair draped in front of his face. Steve put his arm around him, Natasha was sure to keep looking over to make sure Bucky was okay, but being herself she was so inconspicuous Bucky didn’t even notice. Once Tony glanced at him and he buried himself further into the couch, and shoved his face in Steve’s shoulder. It was cold outside, so Tony had the heat on, Bucky was sweating, the added heat of the blanket, and the couch didn’t help. Not to mention Steve’s body heat. Nat looked over, seeing he was sweating she flicked Steve, and gestured for him to check on Bucky. Steve was unaware that Bucky was sweating so much until now.

“You okay?” Steve whispered to him. Usually there would be more conversation during a movie, but Tony had picked the movie, and although he was usually the most loud he kept violently shushing anybody who made a peep.

“ ‘M okay.” Bucky said swallowing hard.

“Your sweating.” Steve said, rubbing his back.

“It’s hot.” Bucky said

“Then take your blanket off.” Steve whispered. Bucky shook his head. Steve looked over at Natasha for help. She shrugged. What did he expect her to do anyway?

“Hey Tony it’s kind of hot, can you turn down the heat?” Nat asked.

“No can do, it’s set on an automatic timer, every hour or so it changes by a few degrees.” He said shoving more popcorn into his mouth as he watched what had to be the 5th car chase on screen.

“Why would you do that?” She asked. He shrugged.

“I don’t know why anyone do anything, watch the movie.” Bucky was breathing hard, only Steve could hear it, with him all pressed up to him.

“Buck, take your blanket off.” He said gently, trying to make him feel better. Bucky shook his head. “Please-”

“No.” Bucky whispered, dead serious.

“Okay, you wanna go back in the room then?” Steve whispered sweetly. Bucky shook his head. He was impossible, to be fair, he hadn't come out of the room all day, so Steve understood, but he was digging himself into this hole that he couldn’t get out of. The heat would probably make him sick again. Bucky got really tired, Steve wasn’t sure if it was from the heat, or just that he was sick.

“Stevie.” Bucky whispered. His voice was tainted with sleep.

“Mmm.” Steve said, rubbing his back.

“Can I lean on you?”

“Of course.” He cooed. Bucky laid back on Steve’s chest, he was so tired, he tried to keep his eyes open, but his eyelids regained their weight, pulling down on themselves. He blinked slowly trying to keep his eyes open to watch the movie like a child in a film. Steve started rubbing his forehead between his eyes. Bucky closed his eyes.

“It’s too hot.” He said curling up on Steve.

“I know, you wanna take this off?” He said, pulling at the Blanket.

“Yeah..” He said his voice was so tired. Bucky tried to pull it off by himself, forgetting that he didn’t have his left arm. He was semi embarrassed, but that wasn’t why his cheeks were flushed red. He was red with heat, so Steve helped him to pull off the blanket. Bucky fell asleep on Steve’s chest rather quickly. When the movie ended, and Tony turned on the lights, Nat was looking over with a sort of admiration on her face. Like they were two cute puppies in a video.

“He’s so sweet.” She said smiling looking at the sleeping figure on top of Steve.

“He’s gonna kill me when he wakes up.” Steve laughed. “I practically promised him I would take him back to the room before he fell asleep.”

“You were just enjoying the movie too much?” Tony asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Uh, No…” Steve scrunched his face, as much as he tried to avoid it he was semi humorless, he was really like the Avenger’s sweet old grandpa. Who happened to be in his 40’s.

Ending Note:

Thank you so much for reading my story! Sorry for the shitty ending. I feel like this deserved to be finished, before I messed it up again. There will be more parts to this “universe” , maybe some about Bucky’s struggle with self-image? Idk, let me know. I got a request while writing this story to do a scat story, which is so far out of my comfort zone, I tried my best. I am sorry to that person that the story only somewhat involves scat, and that it is not its primary focus. Thank you to @troubled_tums I used your page for ideas because scat is again not in my comfort zone. I am very sorry that this took so damn long to finish. My divorced parents had a squabble, which led to my mom preventing me from seeing my dad, which led to him calling the police and telling them my mom was abusing me, and not letting me see him. My house was searched, I had to stay with my dad, who has no wifi, so I could not write, things got a little crazy if I’m being honest. Thank you for being patient with me. I

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blondie1locks · 3 years

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I’m sorry if you saw my other post and are waiting a lot is going on rn, also I’m at my dads and he doesn’t have WiFi so I can’t write. Sorry loves

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blondie1locks · 3 years

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I think that Tom needs to keep the role, and be the only one in that role, I read the comics and I have read almost every Loki comic, so don’t try to invalidate that. It’s just that there is no lady Deadpool in the movies, why? Because it doesn’t make sense. Comics and movies are different, and if they weren’t it wouldn’t make sense for you to read the comics at all. Tom is Loki like you said in the MCU he is portraying him, and it makes no sense for someone else to. Think about when you watch a movie and the lead actor is replaced. It’s stupid. I like to cosplay as lady Loki, I love her! I just don’t think it makes sense for her to be in the films.

‘Loki Stans’ that only like Tom Hiddleston and refuse to have a female Loki because they want to see Tom more are not valid they suck as much as Odin and Frigga

imo it’s completely fair to solely like Tom’s Loki because he did put the dedication and work into the original character to make them a relatable/realistic narrative vessel, so I understand not wanting anyone else to take over, but, I do hope if/when Kid or Female Loki shows they can be presented on-screen to the same level... I don’t think it’s fair to say people suck for liking an actor even if i find it a strange reason to not want the character to change

217 notes · View notes

blondie1locks · 3 years

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A new fic will be up as soon as possible! Here’s a hint. Sickfic as usual, let me know if there is anything else you want me to try, I got a request to do a kind of scat fanfiction and it’s very out of my comfort zone, but I encorporated it into this new fic. Love you lots.

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blondie1locks · 3 years

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Set in Season 7 Salvatore brothers brotherly love.

In The Salvatore Boarding House Bonnie and Stefan sat on the couch in the main room. Across from them sat Deputy Matt Donavan, a coffee table separating them.

“Look all I’m saying is that you need to leave, I’m not asking.” Matt spoke roughly.

“Look, Matt I appreciate this whole hero thing you have going on here.” Stefan said, waving his hand around. “But we are not the problem, you're barking up the wrong tree, while you're wasting your time trying to make me leave my home, the real problem is still out there.”

“Vampires.” Matt said sternly.

“Yes, but not us.” Stefan sighed. Damon slugged down the stairs. He almost fell earlier on the last flight of stairs coming from his bedroom, and he was beginning to wonder why they had so many damn stairs in this house. He was shimming down sideways holding onto the railing. His head was pounding in the back of his skull, he could practically hear colors. His eyelids were so heavy, they kept threatening to droop down and let him fall down the stairs, but he was trying to fight it. He could feel his stomach acid in his teeth, hunger pains? Stomach Ache? He just needed his brother, he tried to ignore it but now he needed help, and he was so tired that he didn’t even realise he didn’t like to ask for help. He felt like a child, he knew this was probably because he was sick, but his mind was working like a child too. All he wanted was Stefan, the same way a child wants their mother.

“Stef?” Damon was so relieved to see him he had walked 2 flights of steps but it felt like a mile and half.

“Hey you okay?” Stefan asked, lowering his voice. The concern was shining through. Damon stumbled to the couch and laid down in a fetal position, head in Stefan’s lap. Stefan began running his fingers through Damon’s hair.

“What’s wrong?” He cooed.

“Stomach.” He wanted to tell him the rest but he couldn’t get the words out. His stomach was running his thoughts at the moment. He tasted his stomach acid in his feet, it was bad.

“When was the last time you ate?” Stefan said, his voice was remaining very soft, he was looking down at his brother still running his fingers through his hair. Damon shrugged. Inching his face further down into Stefan’s lap.

“I ate a burger with Ric sometime.”

“No, I mean-” Stefan looked up at Matt. Looking back down at Damon he said. “Real food.”

“I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know then it’s been too long.” Stefan replied.

“Hey, Stefan I need your attention.” Matt said. “I’m trying to make this easy for all of us but I can’t do that if you’re not listening.”

Stefan looked up from Damon and glared at him then looked back down.

“Matt, what the hell is your problem?” Bonnie said, getting heated. “He’s obviously in pain.”

“I’m sorry that your murderer brother is in pain, but we have more important things on the list, and I’m sure wherever you decide to go you can take care of him there.”

“Matt.” Bonnie said.

“I’m sorry Bon, I’m not gonna take on any more of their shit as my problems.”

“Uh, sorry to interrupt but I’m gonna go get him some food so.” Stefan tried to stand up and as soon as he did Damon reached out his hand. His outstretched arm like a baby who wants something, but does not have the words. However, not a baby, he wanted Stefan to stay, but he was too tired to find words.

“Okay you can come with me.” He said helping Damon up. Damon made noises of agreement. Stefan helped Damon down the steps to the cellar, and he grabbed 3 blood bags from the cooler. 3 pints. Yeah that should be good. He helped Damon back up blood bags in hand, and turned off the basement light. He put the two blood bags down on the coffee table, and uncorked the one, sitting down, positioning Damon next to him he handed it to his brother.

“Slowly.” He said before Damon even drank any. Damon put his head on Stefan’s shoulder and started drinking the blood silently.

“Okay.” Stefan said, letting out a large breath and smiling.

“I’m not comfortable with him drinking that here.”

“Matt.” Bonnie warned. Knowing that especially while Damon was in a weak state and reliant, not to mention willingly reliant on Stefan, nothing was going to get between Stefan and making sure Damon was okay.

“What Bon?” He said straining. “That blood was supposed to save lives, help humans in need.”

“It’s our house, you’re welcome to leave if you want.” “Frankly I don’t like the ideas your proposing anyway, so why don’t you….come back...tomorrow...and see if you have any….uh better ideas.”

“It isn’t an idea, Stefan.” “You will leave Mystic Falls, and if I won’t leave your house until I make that completely clear to you.” “In the meantime while I’m a guest at your home, I don’t want to watch a murderer guzzle a bag of blood in front of my face.” “Honestly I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.”

Damon winced in pain. Stefan’s attention was immediately shifted.

“Hey, you okay?” The drastic change in tone was almost funny to Bonnie, but her best friend was in pain, so she hardly found it funny.

“Stomach.” He said quietly.

“Okay, come on.” Stefan said kissing the top of Damon’s head. They walked into the bathroom that was right behind where they were sitting and shut the door. Damon was crying, but he wasn’t making any noise.

“I’m sorry.” He said, hiccuping softly.

“Hey, hey hey.” Stefan said, rubbing his back softly. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” Damon looked unconvinced. “Belive me okay?” He kissed the top of Damon’s head, pulling his head into his chest, and stroking his hair.

“Mk.” Damon mumbled. Damon hiccuped again, and Stefan helped him get his face to the toilet bowl. Damon gagged softly but nothing came up. Stefan was rubbing soothing circles on his back, and he gagged again, heaving into the toilet as watery vomit and blood shot out of Damon’t mouth. He felt the tears in the back of his eyes from the forceful vomiting, and when it stopped his abdomen was still cramping from having pushed it all up.

“Mmm.” Damon winced in pain as his abominable muscles screamed at him. Stefan pulled him into a soft hug, and Damon buried his face in his brother’s shoulder.

“ ‘M sorry.” Damon said his voice muffled.

“Shhh, hey don’t say that okay, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Stefan soothed.

“Stef.” Damon winced.

“Okay.” Stefan said understanding immediately. He turned Damon around where he was left once again sputtering up watery vomit and blood. Damon wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

“You done?” Stefan asked rubbing circles on his back.

“Yeah I think so.” Damon said meekly. He was very tired. Stefan flushed the toilet wincing at how much blood Damon had thrown up, and helped his brother off the floor.

While Damon and Stefan were in the bathroom this conversation could be heard:

“What the hell happened to you Matt?” Bonnie asked wincing as she heard Damon vomit again. “I realised what was happening, and you are going to too.” He said crossing his arms.

“That dosen’t bother you?” She said pointing at the bathroom door. “One of your bestfriends is in pain, you could be more sympathetic.” She said her face twisted with disgust for one of her former friends.

“I’m sorry I’m not friends with murders Bon.” “I mean I don’t sympathise with people who kill and hunt and enjoy it.” He said.

“Vampires.” She said crossing her arms.

“Bonnie they took everything from us.” “What happened to our little town, look at everyone we lost because of the Salvatore brothers.” “Vicky, your grams, Elena, Jenna, Jo, Liv.” “They’re never coming back” He said.

“Elena would have been dead after the bridge if it wasn’t for Stefan!”

“Opposed to what she is now?!” “Bonnie you are never going to see her again, you can’t change the facts.” “Your life is tied to hers.” “Caroline, for gods sake, do you think she wanted to be a vampire?” “She was my friend!”

“She still can be!” She said, tears in her eyes.

“No, because no matter who they are when it comes down to it, you and I are just food.” “Your wasting your life trying to be more than that.” He said harshly his words biting, but not really having any power over Bonnie.

Present:

The door opened and Stefan and Damon sat down on the couch again. Stefan grabbed another blood bag off of the table. He looked at Damon.

“Slowly.” He said again before handing the bag to him. They resumed their earlier position.

“Okay, because you insist on not leaving my house I guess you can finish whatever other bullshit you have to say.” Stefan sighed.

“By tomorrow at 10am I expect you to be packed and left.” “I dont care where you go, as long as it’s not here.” Stefan chuckled.

“Oh you are not giving this up are you?” Bonnie said shocked.

“No, I’m not.” Matt said. Stefan noticed Damon drinking the blood a bit too fast, and put his finger on top of the hole.

Damon was very hungry, he wanted stefan to move his finger, as they continued talking he began to (not obviously) chew on Stefan’s finger. His eyes glistened with the tears from the bathroom, and he looked like a small child. Stefan didn’t mind Damon chewing on his finger, he knew that how hungry he was he needed the blood, and was just trying to tell him to move his finger, but he didn’t move it. Damon needed time to disgust what he had just drank, and if he needed help drinking it slowly then he would help him.

Damon however was getting impatient, his stomach cramped with hunger pains, and he couldn’t even think straight. He could not hear the conversation happening around him but it was fading in and out.

“Matt think about this.” Bonnie said.

“It’s already been thought about.” he heard Matt say.

And faded out.

“Can you not have your brother sloshing blood in my damn face.”

And faded out.

“Okay there you go Damon.” Finally Stefan moved his finger after what felt like years. (It was 3 minutes.) Damon tasted the blood again. Content and eating he nuzzled further into Stefan. Stefan put his arm around Damon and rubbed his shoulder. Damon sucked gently on the blood bag like a child drinking a sippy cup. He was trying so hard to drink slowly so that Stefan would not cover up his drink again but he couldn’t. He drank fast, it tasted so good he was so hungry. Stefan put his finger over it again. Damon looked sadly up at Stefan. Trying to find the words.

“Hungry.” He said.

“I know but I don’t want you to be sick again.” Stefan said, rubbing his back. Damon began to chew lightly on Stefans finger again, waiting for him to move it.

“I’ll come back tomorrow because you’re obviously not paying attention.” Matt said as he left.

Stefan and Bonnie rolled their eyes.

“You okay Damon?” Bonnie asked. He didn’t realize he was being spoken to at first, and Bonnie was very patient.

“Mhm.” He said, still chewing on Stefan’s finger.

“Is he chewing on your finger?”

“Yeah, he wants me to move my finger, but I don’t want-“

“Him to be sick.” She finished

“Yeah.” He said. “I think I’m gonna take him upstairs so if you want to leave you can…”

“I can stay.” Bonnie said.

“Uh, okay.” He said not really wanting her to stay, but more focused on Damon at the moment. He helped Damon up the stairs, Stefan holding the two blood bags much to Damon’s disappointment. Once they reached Damon’s room and Damon was laying on his bed, Stefan placed one blood bag on the night-stand and gave the other to his brother. He got the trash can from the bathroom and put a towel on the bed, just in case of another incident. Damon hiccuped and that was when Stefan realized how fast he was drinking the blood.

“Woah, woah.” he said, putting his finger on top of the spout. Damon hiccuped again. Stefan put the blood bag down on the night-stand and Damon reached over.

“No, not yet.” Stefan said, rubbing Damon’s shoulders. “You had a lot at once.” Damon hiccuped again. “You okay Dam?” Stefan said, rubbing his hands up and down his brother's arms. Damon nodded. Bonnie walked into the room, he knew she just wanted to help, but Damon was going to be too embarrassed to tell him what was wrong if she was there, especially after she noticed him chewing on Stefan’s finger. Stefan sighed trying not to be mad at the girl who had countlessly stucken up for him, and sacrificed herself for all of them. Just focus on Damon, maybe if you don’t acknowledge her he won’t. He thought. Damon was chewing on his lip, it was obvious that he was very hungry, and when vampires are very hungry their mouth’s need to be engaged. (one of the reasons he was chewing on his brother's finger earlier.) Stefan just hoped he didn’t make his lip bleed and try to feed off himself. It wasn’t uncommon for starving vampires to try, but it usually tastes like shit and made them vomit. Which Damon had done enough of today. He could hear the blood shifting around in Damon’s stomach with vampire hearing, just remaining hopeful that he didn’t get sick again. Damon kept eyeing his pillow, obvious that he wanted to chew on the corner of it to engage his mouth. (again vampire hunger.) And Stefan just wanted him to do it so that he wouldn’t be in so much pain. ( completely made up by me but when vampires are hungry their mouths need to be engaged because thor fangs want to come out, so if they are chewing on something they don’t have all that pressure building up behind their canines.) Damon grabbed his pillow and Stefan was very hopeful, but he just held it in front of him as he held back tears from the pressure. He started to rub his upper lip, and the prt between his nose and mouth to relieve the pressure. And finally it was too much and he started biting his right index finger descritley. It wasn’t enough. Damon winced at the building pressure.

“Come’ere.” Stefan said. Damon slid across the bed over to his brother. “Get your pillow.” He said. Damon laid against Stefan, facing towards his chest, holding his pillow like a child holds their stuffed animal. Damon was too embarrassed to chew on the corner of his pillow, but he wanted so badly to release some of the pressure. Stefan pulled him closer so that Bonnie (Who was sitting in a chair across the room) couldn’t see Damon’s face.

“It’s okay, you can chew it.” He said quietly so that only Damon could hear. Damon shook his head. “You’ll feel better, okay?” “Release some of the pressure, you were massaging your lip, I’m sure it hurts.” He said stroking down Damon’s hair. “She can’t see you.” Damon looked up. He held his pillow to his chest and began to sheepishly chew on his pillow corner. It wasn’t obvious because he was chewing with his front teeth, not his side, but he sighed in relife at the sudden change in pressure. He was curled up to Stefan as he continued to chew on the corner of his pillow, Stefan looked down at him happy that he had taken his advice and happy that Damon seemed to feel a little better pressure wise. Stefan was running his fingers through Damon’s hair and holding him close so Bonnie couldn’t see what he was doing. Bonnie wanted to prove to Stefan something that wasn’t really true, she wanted to prove that Damon was as comfortable around her as he was with him, because she felt their friendship had been questioned lately. Damon loved her, don’t get me wrong, but he has his same front up with her that he does with everyone, even Elena. Sick Damon however did not have the energy to put up that front, so he was very embarrassed and vulnerable. Bonnie walked over from her chair, Damon stopped chewing, he took his mouth off the pillow and put it down. Stefan sighed, just when Damon was starting to chew it with force so that he would get real relife he’s too embarrassed to continue, of course.

“Hey Damon.” Bonnie said sitting down on the bed.

“Hi.” He said not looking at her.

“You okay?” she asked. He nodded, curling further into Stefan’s side.

“Hey um Bonnie?” Stefan asked.

“Mm?”

“I kind of have to go get another blood bag but I don’t want to make him get up so could yo-”

“Yeah, I’ll watch him.” He looked at her trying to hide his puzzlement. I had meant if you could go get it, but I guess that works too. He thought.

“Okay, be right back.” He stood up.

“No.” Damon said shortly.

“I'll be right back okay?” Stefan said. Damon was already embarrassed that he had involuntarily said no to Stefan leaving so he just said “k.”

Damon was so embarrassed he could just die.

“You wanna come sit with me?” She asked.

“No I’m okay.” He said. Damon’s head was pounding, he needed more blood, now. He looked over to the night stand to see the two blood bags sitting there. He stared at the one he had drunk out of, the blood was just sitting there, a little cork in the way. He could smell it, it was too much. He felt his eye-veins threatening to make an appearance, and he was just hoping he could eat before then.

“You hungry?” she said kindly. He nodded. Licking and biting his lip to try to keep his fangs and veins from popping out.

“You can eat.” She said. “Just don’t drink too much, okay?” He nodded vigorously and grabbed the bag off of the nightstand. In one quick motion he was uncorking the blood bag, and drinking it. He felt the warmth in the back of his throat as the blood went down, it was heaven.

“Hey, don’t drink too much.” Bonnie warned. But it was too late, he couldn’t stop he was so hungry and she didn’t poses the tools to stop him. He drank the whole bag in less than a minute, wiped his mouth, and leaned back against the pillows breathing heavy. He felt better, but worse. He was dizzy, but he was happy. He felt pain in his abdomen, and put his arm across there still breathing heavy. The pressure in his fangs was back ten fold, and he hiccuped as his brother walked in.

“Okay.” Stefan said putting down the the blood bags on the night stand. He then noticed the empty bag on the bed. “Did you drink this?” he asked although he already knew the answer. Damon pulled his head into his knees, hiding his face and letting a few tears run down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He said sniffling. Stefan was at his side in an instant. Petting his hair, hugging him.

“No, no, it’s okay you couldn’t help it you were just hungry.” He kissed the top of Damon’s head.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” Damon said rocking back and forth on his feet.

“Hey look at me, it’s okay Damon, I’m not mad.” Damon sobbed.

“Shhh.” Stefan held him to his chest and let him finish crying. Damon had used up a lot of energy, and he was warm and being held by Stefan so he fell asleep with his face on Stefan’s chest. Once he was asleep Stefan turned to Bonnie.

“Did you tell him to drink that?”

“Yeah, he kept staring at it and biting his lip so I just thought he was hungry.”

“He is hungry, I just have to be here with him when he drinks it, because he’s going to get sick now.” Stefan said.

“I’m sorry.” Bonnie said.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said breathing in. Damon woke up from his restless short nap. He blinked a few times, and nuzzled his face into Stefan’s chest.

“Hey, you okay?” Stefan said softly. Damon huffed in the snot from crying and wiped off his nose and eyes with his hand. He shook his head.

“It hurts.” He said. “It’s all my fault, I was too hungry I didn’t think.” He said, voice breaking at the end.

“Shhh, hey hey, it’s not your fault at all.” Stefan kissed his head again. Damon hiccuped, covering his mouth. Stefan started to help Damon up to go to the bathroom.

“I can take him.” Bonnie said.

“Where?” Stefan asked, confused.

“To the bathroom, to throw up.” She said. Stefan looked at her.

“Uh- I think he wants me.” Stefan said as Damon hiccuped again.

“I don’t think he cares.” Bonnie said.

“Uh okay.” He said giving her Damon’s arm. Damon looked upset, but couldn’t say anything and risk vomiting on the floor. He looked back at Stefan as they walked away.

In the bathroom:

“Okay, you're okay.” Bonnie said, putting Damon on the floor. He leaned over the toilet bowl, sweating, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw up. He held it back as the acid scratched his throat bringing tears to his eyes that dripped into the toilet along with the sweat.

“Damon, you gonna throw up?” She said confused why he was obviously straining to not vomit.

“You're in the bathroom, it’s okay you can let go.” She said softly. He shook his head. “Come on Damon I gotta prove a point here.” She said pleading. He shook his head his face twisting in a ‘I’m gonna cry’ position. Because Bonnie is Bonnie and she cares about her friends she opened the door to get Stefan so that Damon could feel better.

“Stefe-.” “Oh.” He was standing right at the doorway.

“I heard the whole thing, vamp hearing.”

“Oh,right.” She said moving out of the way. “I’ll wait out here,”

“Okay, thank you Bonnie .” Stefan walked in and went to damon’s side. “You’re okay Damon.” He said rubbing circles on his back. Damon swallowed hard.

“I didn’t want to.” He said.

“I know, but I’m here now.” He said rubbing Damon’s back. “It’s okay shh.” “Just let go, same with the pillow you felt so much better right?” He could feel Damon shaking, he was nervous, heart racing.

“Mhm.” “Stef.” He said, reaching out his hand as he felt it coming up.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said, holding Damon’s hand. Damon whimpered. He gagged, saliva dripping out of his mouth. Stefan rubbed circles on his back. He gagged again, hiccuping and coughing. He pushed out a little bit of blood. He gagged, red watery vomit coming out of his mouth. He gagged again as the floodgates burst open and he shot out a stream of the watery substance. Forcefully he continued vomiting for a few more seconds before he fell back against Stefan, completely out of breath, and gasping for air. He was shaking hard, and Stefan pulled him into another soft hug as his body was wracked with sobs. Damon put his hand on his lower stomach.

“Dose it still hurt?” Stefan asked.

“Yeah.” Damon whispered. He pulled out of Stefan’s arms as he vomited into the toilet bowl again. He was left gagging over the toilet with nothing more to throw up.

“Okay, I don’t think you have anything left to bring up.” Stefan said, rubbing his back. “You wanna go back to bed?” he continued sweetly. Damon was rubbing his upper lip again, pinching it between his fingers. He chewed softly on his fingers for a few minutes. They walked back into the bedroom, and Damon who had forgotten Bonnie was out there was immediately embarrassed. He quickly forgot about this when Stefan grabbed a blood bag off of the night stand. The blood sloshed around while he sat on the bed. His gaze was fixated on it as his eye-veins came out, his eyes beat red. He noticed this and put his hands over his face.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said. Damon looked up, his face had returned to normal. “Here you go.” Stefan said sitting down next to his brother. Damon sucked some down, he couldn’t even try to drink it slowly. Stefan put his finger over the top. Damon chewed softly and sucked on his finger not knowing how to tell him it was in the way. Stefan of course didn’t mind.

“Bonnie, can you get some water from downstairs please?” Stefan asked.

“You have water?” “I thought you only had bourbon.” She chuckled. He laughed.

“Just from the tap.”

“Yeah sure.” She said getting up. Stefan moved his finger, and watched Damon suck down more of the blood. After seeing Damon pick up his drinking pace, he put his finger back on. Damon’s face pulsed with veins.

“I’m sorry,” Stefan said, kissing the top of his head. “Don’t want you getting sick.” Bonnie took a little while, and with the same pattern of Stefan putting his finger on and off, Damon finished the blood bag. He felt much better, and his face had relaxed. His gums still had extreme pressure on them though and he was trying not to have his lip touch them.

“Here you go.” Stefan said, handing Damon a pillow. Damon curled up against his brother’s side and chewed on the corner of the pillow constantly. He fell asleep after a while. Bonnie entered the room silently.

“He looks peaceful.” She said.

“He’s doing better,” Stefan said, rubbing his brother’s back. “He finished a blood bag.”

“Good.” She said setting the water down. “Look Stefan, I’m really sorry I just,”

“It’s okay.” He said smiling even though it was a bit forced. “You didn’t know, and you know Damon was really hungry, you couldn’t have stopped him from drinking all that.”

“Yeah, but I told him he could have it, I thought he would drink it slowly.” She said, sighing sitting down.

“He couldn’t even if he wanted to.” Stefan said brushing some of Damon’s hair out of his face. Damon’s eyes fluttered open after about 20 minutes.

“How do you feel?” Bonnie asked him.

“ ‘M okay.”

“Good.” Stefan said, kissing his head.

And all was well….Until the next part!

What’s up my homies? That was a cute chapter, anyway sorry I took so damn long I have been rewatching vampire diaries, and all the marvel movies. I am still not mentally prepared for Endgame even though I have seen it before so if you don’t hear from me I have probably died. I just wanted to say that this is going to be posted on Tumblr, Wattpad, and Fanfiction.Net because I am trying to expand my horizons. Thank you to my homies from Tumblr because you are all queens. (used as a gender-neutral term.) Anyway someone asked for my pronouns so...they are she\her or he\him depends on the day. (Don’t you just love gender fluidity?) I love all of you very much even if you are a serial killer have a great rest of your day! Oooooh and be sure to follow me on these platforms. (if you want)

Wattpad: Azzzzzzazz123

Fanfiction.Net: EdsLoki

Tumblr: Blondie1locks

I write Marvel, TVD, IT, CM, and ATLA. but I will write pretty much anything.

#tvdforever #tvd fanfiction #tvd fandom #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #sick fic #sick and tired #i’m sick #sick #sickfic #cuteness

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blondie1locks · 4 years

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Mary Louise and Nora’s relationship angers me to no end. They finally have a gay on screen couple and they can’t be happy. We got like 2 pecks on the lips and then they couldn’t handle the gayness anymore. Like why can’t we have any representation in this show? Is it so hard for you? I can’t decide if I hate or like it though because I appreciate how the on screen drama is the same as the straight couples. But they also have full on sex scenes and we have 2 girls getting engaged after like a week of on screen time. Which adds to the U haul lesbian steryotype, although I know they dated all throughout the like 18th and 19th century too, so it’s not that bad. But then if they dated all that time why would they break up over one puny fight, after they barely kissed on screen. Did it make the actors uncomfortable to be portrayed that way? Or is Julie Plech just a nasty bitch, begs the question.

#tvdforever #tvd rp #tvd fanfiction #tvd fandom #damon salvatore #bonnie x damon #damon x elena #matt donovan #stefan salvatore #brother #mary louise dahl #nora darhk #abc diary

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blondie1locks · 4 years

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In The Vampire Diaries (tvd) Season 7 episode 12 when Damon is in the fighting ring in the Mystic Falls Grill parking lot. You can see he’s in a lot of pain, throughout the whole beginning of season 7 it’s mainly about the pain that Damon is going through, the PTSD from being in the stone, and from his life. His relationship with his mother. I love that, because Damon was so underrepresented in that light. He existed as his main purpose to be the bad guy, the one who is broken, and messed up. But they only ever dabbled into it a bit, and those are always my favorite episodes.

People think that Stefan and he have a bad relationship, but Stefan has to be dragged off of the premises because he doesn't want to leave Damon to fight Julian. He is protective of Damon which I love. He is trying to help him get through what he went through in the stone, and I honestly hate that Stefan was in the stone also because like can’t Damon have one plot line to himself, but I’m glad they didn’t linger so much on Stefan’s pain. Damon is always shown as the one who messed up Stefan’s life, but I think he just had a harder time in general, and Stefan turned out more socially acceptable because he didn’t endure the same amount of abuse especially growing up.

Many boys who are abused grow up to be violent, so it makes a lot of sense. The way he feels responsible for his mothers “death.” might have something to do with the fact that he felt he couldn’t protect her from his father, which he believed to be his responsibility because of how his father taught him. He also has a hard time showing emotions, which is most likely because his father told him not to, but he was always encouraging Stefan to show emotions. Like at their mother’s funeral.

S-“Father Says we mustn't cry.”

D- “You’re 10, you can cry if you want to.”

The tvd characters in general though are not very understanding of Damon’s situation for people that are supposed to be portrayed as survivors, or people who have had bad family situations. (people dying mostly, lost of death.)

Damon is not an abusive person, he just has abusive tendencies which he grows out of, if people would have been more loving and accepting of him from the beginning, and there had been more brotherly love in the series, he wouldn’t have had to portray them in that character at all. Honestly it’s on Julie.

#tvd fanfiction #tvd rp #tvdforever #damon x elena #bonnie x damon #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #bonnie bennett #matt donovan #elena gilbert #the originals

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blondie1locks · 4 years

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Silent killer (Loki)

The avengers sat at the table, Steve and Nat at the heads. Next to Nat was Bruce on her right and across from him was Wanda, Vision next to her. Next to him was Peter and then Clint. On the other side, beside Bruce was Tony, then Loki and Thor. (Steve at the other head.) They were about to eat, and Tony was cooking, leaving his spot empty. It was very hot outside and Loki was leaning on Thor. Nobody was honestly surprised and continued to talk amongst themselves. Thor was involved in the conversation but not Loki. Loki was sweating, not too much, mostly just because of the steam immersing them from Tony’s cooking.

“Is it almost done Tony?” Clint called across the room.

“Yeah, I’m literally starving my ass off.” Nat chimed in quietly but not quietly enough for Tony not to hear.

“I’m working on it.” Tony called.

“I smell something burning.” Nat giggled.

“Hey!” Tony yelled semi offended.

“No, no Mr. Stark I think it smells great.” Peter said.

“Peter, you don’t have to lie to him, he’s a big boy trust me.” Nat said laughing into her fist.

Loki shoved his face further into Thor’s shoulder.

Thor lowered his voice to a whisper, “You alright brother?”

“Hmm.” Loki replied.

“You sure?”

“ ‘M fine Thor.” His voice was muffled. And his face was covered by Thor’s broad shoulder, telling undeniably that he was not REALLY okay. But Thor ignored it for now,

Tony placed down the food to everyone.

“Uh-.” “What’s wrong with Reindeer games?”

“Too hot.” Nat said, putting a piece of chicken into her mouth.

“Well that’s going to be a problem.” Tony said sitting down.

“Why Mr. Stark?” Peter said shoveling food into his mouth.

“Um-” Tony said with food in his mouth “Well the A-C’s broken.”

Nat dropped her fork. And choked, coughing on the bite she was taking. Bruce leaned over and patted her back and she made a gesture of thanking him before taking a sip of water and continuing. “You, probably one of THE richest men in the world, who has a talking robot, your A-C is broken?” “That’s bullshit, just fix it or something.”

“Yeah Nat my A-C is broken, and there is actually nothing I can do about it.” He said shrugging and taking a sip of his drink.

“You build a world class suit with a few materials, inside of a terrorist base where you were being held captive, and you can’t fix your A-C?” She said, pursing her lips.

“Nope.” He said putting another bite into his mouth.

“You want him to get sick.” She said crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “You genuinely want him to suffer.”

“Oh that’s what you think?” He said, placing his fork down. She flicked her hand upwards conclusively and returned it to its original crossed position. He chuckled and continued to eat his food. Peter looked around the room, and sort of arched his shoulders and continued to eat, not wanting to be involved. The others sort of watched and ate with raised eyebrows and darting eyes. Their mouth’s turning up and down according to what each person was saying.

“You said he was a dick yesterday, because you're too stubborn to do anything that’s not your way.” She said.

He rolled his eyes.

“No you know what you can’t just hurt the people that love you all the time because you find it funny.” She said, her voice heightening.

“I don’t do that.” He said picking at his food.

“Yeah,” She said tilting her head. “What about all those times you tried to make Bruce hulk out?”

Bruce gulped. “I was uh- totally fine with that by the way.” Bruce said sheepishly.

Nat looked at him with dead eyes. “Or maybe not.” he said

“What about all the times you took tampons out of my room?” “What’s your excuse for that?” “I mean what did you even use them for?” “Never mind I don’t want to know.” “The point is that you have a new member on “your” team now, who comes with his own set of problems, and things that you can use against him.” “I don’t think that Thor wants to have to take care of his brother every night, every single night for the whole summer Tony!” “I mean honestly you could have called a repair man by now.” “This is the second week in a row that the A-C has been off.” “I’m hot too, it’s hot as balls outside, is the A-C on in your room?”

“Actually I want to know too.” Wanda chimed in. “It’s way too hot for you to be this comfortable.”

“No, actually it’s not.” Tony said cooley.

“I think the heat is just getting to us all.” Steve said, wanting to end the argument.

“Well Tony could fix that.” Nat said.

“Um guys,” Bruce started

“What?” Nat asked.

“I think you're disturbing Loki.” He said nodding towards Loki who had his hands over his ears, and had his face pressed in Thor’s shoulder. Thor was stroking his hair.

Nat sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Sorry.” she said.

“It’s alright Natasha.” Thor said “We are going to go to my room now.” Thor stood up, Loki leaning his weight against him. “Come on brother.” Thor said softly

“Mmmm, don’t feel good.” Loki mumbled.

“I know, it’s okay.” Thor said they got to his room, it was the first to the left of the dining table, but straight out of the dining room. Followed by Loki’s then Wanda’s, Steve’s, Nat’s, Peter’s, Vision’s, Bruce’s, and Tony’s at the end of the hall.

Thor at Loki down on the bed, “Here you go brother.” Loki was very pale, he was sweating and honestly he just felt like crying. Had he just been at the table? Father shouting at him? He was not sure where he was really, he tried to stand up to go and see, but Thor urged him down.

“No, no, stay seated brother.” “I’m going to make you feel better just hold on.” Loki rubbed his eyes, the room was spinning, he felt his head getting lighter and lighter, like it was now floating above his body. But his stomach felt heavier, a pit was growing in it. He tried to open his mouth to tell Thor, but his brother was already there with the trash, catching his freefalling vomit. (blue vomit) into the bin.

Loki groaned, his head now felt full of rocks, he fell back on the bed exhausted. But the worst was not over he felt another wave of nausea hit him like bricks and he tumbled over onto himself, grabbing the edges of the bin, and Thor's arm to keep himself steady as his magic broke loose. It swirled around him as he projectile vomited neon green into the trash. Swirling around him were images in a green fog, animated slightly, there was Loki, in his armor and hat, smiling maliciously. Loki in chains, Looking down, Loki falling down the stairs, Loki being beat, Loki laughing, Loki turning into a snake, Loki sleeping. This time he fell back with more force, panting he was now sweating profusely and Thor was at his aid. The images disappeared.

Loki was crying, it was so painful to have that much magic escape from him. He opened his mouth and licked the tears off of his upper lip. Thor pulled him in.

“Are you okay brother?”Thor askes. Loki whimpered.

“Shhh.” “shhh” “You're okay, you're okay.” Thor was rocking him, and picked him up to cradle him.

“Okay, shhh, Loki?” Loki looked up at him with scared eyes.

“Let’s go get your pillow okay?” Loki nodded. He had a cool retaining pillow for this very purpose. They walked into his room and got it, he hadn't really done much to his room which made Thor slightly sad. Loki clutched onto his pillow tightly.

“I can’t.” He sobbed into Thor’s chest.

“No, no no.” Loki grabbed onto Thor’s strong arms. “I can’t.”

What’s wrong Loki what can’t you do?” Thor began to stoke down his hair again. They entered Thor’s room, and Loki went into a fit of coughing. And as he coughed you could see how drained he was becoming.

“Come here Loki.” Thor put Loki back on the bed with his pillow, he continued to cough, it was a dry cough, you could hear it wracking his lungs. Finally he stopped. He rolled onto his back, still clutching the pillow, fresh tears in his eyes, and he latched onto Thor.

“Okay, shh Loki you're okay.” Thor sat down on the bed, squeezing Loki just to get that pressure therapy aspect in there, but not so hard that he might vomit again.

“Thor I feel bad.”

“Hey, hey why Loki?” Thor was still stroking his hair.

“I made them fight?” He asked.

“No, no, no.” “They just have too much faith in the man of iron, Tony.” “He can never live up to it.” “That or, or it could be that he is, doing something to get in my skin.” “Under my skin?” THor explained getting lost in the talking. It got semi late and Thor and Loki fell asleep, the other Avengers were in their beds. In the night Loki woke up in a cold sweat. He felt the room wobbling from side to side, he felt his head pounding against itself from the inside. He sat up and pushed against his temples. Curling over onto himself in pain. He licked his lips and tried not to cry. He was not in his right mind, didn’t have real control over his body, or emotions, but the part of his brain that was still functioning properly did not want to wake up Thor.

But evidently Thor woke up. Loki was hyperventilating, his face beat red. His eyelids were heavy, and kept drooping down.

“Loki?” Thor said, trying to make out the details of the sitting figure beside him in the dark.

“Okay,” Thor sat up and was able to see Loki was crying, and holding his stomach, he was sweating, and his skin was burning hot to the touch. It was even hotter than it had been when they went to sleep, even though the sun was down.

“Shh, Loki, I’m gonna pick you up okay?” Loki mumbled in agreement. Thor at Loki down on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, and he took a cool cloth and dabbed his forehead. Loki sighed.

“Shhh, yeah there you go.” Thor said, kissing Loki on the top of his head.

Thor continued to dab his head with a cool, damp cloth, for no more than 10 minutes before he had to help Loki over to the toilet.

Loki was hunched over, he gagged and projectile vomited into the bowl, falling backwards, but Thor was there to catch him. Thor helped him back to the toilet where he more dribbled vomit out of his mouth before he threw up again. He was however, thankful that his magic was not acting up. They sat there until Loki had no more strength, and nothing left to throw up. Thor sensed someone at the doorway to his room, which he had been sure to close, not wanting to wake up the others. He opened it to see Nat.

“How is he?” she asked, she was dressed in a large t-shirt and shorts. Thor looked at her stunned. Surely he hadn't woken her up, they had been very quiet.

“Light sleeper.” She explained.

“Can I come in?”

Thor was a little flustered. “Oh, yes of course.” “We weren’t too loud were we?” “do you think we woke the others?”

“No definitely not.” She said peeking around the bathroom entry. “Can I go see him?”

“Oh, yes of course.” He said following her in. Loki was not looking well, he seemed to have fallen asleep. Thor was grateful that he was getting any rest at all. He was pale, and sweating, his hair was matted to his face, and although asleep his hands were still shaking. Thor picked him up.

“There you go.” He said placing Loki back on the bed although he knew he could not hear him.

“He probably needs water.” Nat said, cleaning the sweat off of his forehead.

“Yeah, okay, he has his water bottle in his room.” They walked there together, Loki’s dark green water bottle was on his night stand. Thor picked it up, and they went to the kitchen to fill it. Thor also added ice, Nat said colder water was better. Nat got a bottle of Advil, and pepto-bismol. From the kitchen cabinet.

“How you feeling?” She asked Loki as soon as they saw he was awake.

“Not good.” He mumbled into his pillow.

“Okay, drink this can you?” She asked him handing him his water bottle. He nodded. He looked like death. His under eyes were purple and dark, even though he had just been asleep.

“Just drink it slowly brother.” Thor said as he sat next to Loki on the bed, positioning them so that Loki was leaning on Thor.

“It will be over soon.” He said and kissed the top of Loki’s head. Loki leaned against Thor, drinking his water slowly. But it was hard for him to swallow. His body was betraying him, it never got so hot in Asgard, and when it did he could just stay inside and read. He would watch Thor play outside. Completely unaware of what heat could do to him.

Loki grunted his stomach hurt from the water. “No more.” He said pushing his water bottle away. Thor took it and screwed the lid on. Loki buried his face in Thor’s chest.

“Don’t fall asleep yet brother.” Thor said handing Loki the medicine.

“Whas this?” he said, still slurring his words.

“It will help you feel better.” Natasha said.

“Yes.” “Just take it okay Loki?”

“It’s poison.” Loki said, “You want to poison me?” “Because I’m not like you?” “I’m an evil and vile monster, is that what you think, ey? He scooted off Thor.

“No, Loki-” He raised his hand to touch Loki’s shoulder, and he flinched violently. Thor looked at his hand and placed it down. Loki was still freaking out.

“Hey, hey.” Thor raised his hand more slowly. Loki jerked back.

“No, no!” Loki said. “They are gonna get you.”

“Who?”

“The avengers.” “They won’t let you keep hitting me.” “locking me in cells.” “Torturing me with heat.” “I promise you Thor will tell them one day.” “And you can’t get away with it anymore, you can’t.” Loki said, voice breaking.

“He thinks I’m our father…” Thor said, his voice trailing off at the end.

“Your father did those things?” Nat asked.

“Yeah, he, he wasn’t a big fan of Loki I guess,” “I was too blinded by how well I was treated.”

Loki broke off in a fit of coughs again, his magic was unstable, and the wall behind his kept changing colors as he coughed. Nat was staring at the wall, Thor was looking at his brother.

Loki collapsed onto Thor’s lap.

“Hey, shh, your okay brother.”

“Thor?” Loki looked up, his eyes wide like a fearful child. Loki took the medicine, and fell asleep.

“Let’s just hope he sleeps through the night.” Nat said.

“Hopefully.” Thor replied. “You know I do feel badly, about what happened to him through his life, with our father.”

“I know.” Natasha said sweetly. She smiled. “I was my headmistress’ favorite child, so blinded by receiving her praise that I forgot I was the favorite because I was good at my job,” She sighed. “And my job was killing.” She crossed her arms and looked off. “She was so mean to the other girls, but not me, she treated me like an angel.” She scrunched her face. “They were beat every night Thor, every night, while I slept soundly.”

#age of ultron #endgame #the avengers #marvel #thor #loki/thor #loki odinson #loki #sicfic

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