This is a side blog I used to be brainweirdprincessI鈥檓 autistic, Schizoaffective bipolar type (C) PTSD BPD ADHD
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I have a bad feeling my psychiatrist is going to force me into a higher level of care
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i want the world to stop for like 1 year so i can rest
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It's not that I haven't found the right person, I'm just the wrong person for everybody else.
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My therapist is trying to convince me to go back to PHP but I don鈥檛 really want to. I said I would if my psychiatrist recommended it but now my appointment with her got rescheduled so I won鈥檛 see her for another two weeks 馃珷. I feel like I鈥檓 losing my fucking mind. I just don鈥檛 want to deal with any of this.
#personal#now I鈥檓 starting to get a little manic so that鈥檚 very bad#I鈥檓 really excited that tomorrow is the solstice and I鈥檓 super stoked to tell the kids about it to the point that I think I might actually#have a complete breakdown if that doesn鈥檛 happen#the only thing holding me together is info dumping to children and if I don鈥檛 get to I might unravel
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I fear growing up is watching everyone find their place in the world, and losing what you thought was yours
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I am not coping well
#I鈥檓 on the edge istg#I feel like I鈥檓 losing my mind#my therapist brought up inpatient and I鈥檓 like girl you don鈥檛 even know the half of it#I think I鈥檓 really going to fall this time#fuck#I just want a brain that works#I鈥檓 so sick of this shit
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Claudia Rankine, from her book titled Don't Let Me Be Lonely: An American Lyric
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Related news:
I was so exhausted yesterday I somehow feel asleep with my night meds so now today I鈥檓 going through seroquel withdrawals. 2 hours until i can take it and Im getting SI.
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I love seroquel because it keeps me from psychosis but also the side effects are a bitch. I see people talking about how much the hate it which is totally valid but it makes me feel kind of of funny. I鈥檓 in the corner covenanting my 800mg of antipsychotic but watch out pills while people are gawking at me saying 100mg ruined their life.
#personal#again I get it if seroquel was bad for you it was bad for you#it鈥檚 the only thing that鈥檚 worked for me and I have to me on a high dose so I just think it鈥檚 funny when it freaks people out#seroquel
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Ripley's What If I Didn't Go Home and Just Kept Driving
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Vaping has officially led me to smoking cigarettes. Don鈥檛 vape kids nicotine is evil
#personal#I can鈥檛 get custom blends anymore and I hate the sweetners in premium juice#still need nicotine somehow so actually smoking it is
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