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[brokecorviknight]

Starkid fans:

Starkid fans be like: "thirty days? We thought you meant thirty hours. Sorry."

[brokecorviknight]

Here’s my quick little fic idea that has definitely happened at least once:

Pryce (Paul 23): *returns from the bathroom and holds Emilia’s hand*

Perky (Emma): Wtf

Pryce: *finally looks at her*: You’re not my wife.

Emma: *behind the counter* So are you still gonna order or what?

Emilia (Android Emma): *already got the coffee and sat down* I’m over here honey.

[brokecorviknight]

It’s been a while, but I’m back with some Hatchetfield headcannons (mostly for Pokémon AU)

1) Barry sleep-walks

2) Ruth’s Sprigatito is named MJ (Mary Jane)

3) Max calls MJ Max Jr.

4) Cinderace Max is called Ace

5) Perky and Puss have interacted exactly once and it was just Perky saying “So you’re the bitch who meows at people and everyone calls my husband”

6) Richie’s Pokémon knew he was trans way before he did.

7) Jerrie (OC) used to work at Camp Idontwannabang but took a better paying job in Clivesdale and now everyone acts like they’re dead.

8) Goodra Ethan (who still needs a nickname) has three adopted younger siblings - Sophia, Daniel, and Benji

9) Benji has a Maschiff

10) Henry’s real name is not Henry Hidgens

[brokecorviknight]

I need everyone to understand that this man is both a femboy and has muscles. I love him

Cause it surprises me every time. Legit baby. (I really wanted to put in a photo from that one game where he wore a onesie cause it was so cute, but if forgot which video it was)

[brokecorviknight]

"average person spends $400 on Black Friday" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person spends $49.95 per Black Friday. Sherman Georg, who lives in his immortal mother's mansion & spends $44,999 on 850 Wiggly dolls, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[brokecorviknight]

Interview 3 + Wiggly Reveal

Detective Shapiro looks over the notes again. “Next interview is with Tom Houston. Do you know him?” She asks Ziggy.

“Yeah, he taught shop at the high school until his wife died,” the teen answers. They still seem a bit nervous, Shiftry never getting more than a few inches away, but Ziggy gives a thumbs up for Bailey to send in Tom.

Tom takes a seat, his Donphan in his ball since the room was so small. “Hi Ziggy, never thought I’d see you working with cops. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been alright,” Ziggy answers. “I’m just here as an artist.”

Detective Shapiro gets the conversation back on track quickly. “We’re working on figuring out the truth behind the legends around this place. It would be helpful if you could tell us what you know, Mr. Houston.”

“I don’t really believe in that stuff,” Tom says. “It’s a bunch of shit the parents spread around to scare the kids and keep ‘em out of the woods. Hell, I think I’ve told the same stories to Tim.”

“I agree with you, Mr. Houston, but still anything you could have possibly seen would help us figure out what’s actually going on.”

Tom sits silently, thinking.

Pikachu spins in a circle, bringing to get bored.

“Mr. Houston,” Ziggy starts, “Before your wife died, you told us a story in class about a monster you saw in the woods.”

Pikachu perks up, mirroring her trainer. They had a lead.

“I think I remember that. It was right after I had gotten back. There were too many fireworks and I wandered into the woods looking for somewhere quiet. This thing, it was watching us. Donphan got freaked out and wouldn’t go any further so we turned back, but I saw it for just a second. I’d never seen another Pokémon like it, I still haven’t.” Tom recounts, thousand yard stare on his face

Shapiro jots down some notes and then looks back to the man and nods to Ziggy. “Could you describe the creature to us? In as much detail as you can.”

Tom racks his brain while Ziggy draws, eventually they have a completed piece which is shown to the interviewee.

“Does that look like the Pokémon you saw?” Detective Shapiro asks

“Yeah, Yeah. That’s it”

[brokecorviknight]

Gary: My client was his mother’s house at the time of the incident

Gary: *running to the other side of the courtroom* Objection! Are you aware that I have video evidence of the defendant at the scene of the crime?

I like to think Gary is literally like. The only attorney in all of Hatchetfield. He's every single person's defense and every single person's prosecution. For any crime, there's literally just Gary and no one else

[brokecorviknight]

Since no one has brought it up

And y’all thought I was mean for giving Tim a Cubone

[brokecorviknight]

Each of the Lords in Black has an acolyte - a human who has been gifted with the ability to use the magic of and summon their specific lord. Their Pokémon are also blessed with extra powers.

Blinky - Madame Iris and Reuniclus

Nibbly - Roman Murray and Morpeko

Pokey - Otho and Flamigo

Tinky - Sheila Young and Froslass

Wiggly - Wilbur Cross and Tentacruel

(I understand that some people may have expected Kilgore for Tinky but his interactions with Ted in Time Bastard quite clearly show that he does not know how to use Tinky’s power while Sheila’s ability to use that power to keep herself young and her connection to the Church of the Starry Children, in my opinion, makes her much more qualified for the position than Kilgore)

(Also Pokey being so egotistical that he’s his own acolyte)

[brokecorviknight]

Another cool Pokémon AU for Hatchetfield

My ideas for a NPMD Pokémon AU:

Okay so I know I’m not the only one to do this (shoutout @brokecorviknight ) but I’ve had this idea kinda rattling around in my brain and had to write it down.

Pete would have a blipbug (it’s perfect, blipbug is like a Pokémon version of him). I rly like the idea that he doesn’t have any Pokémon (he’s just not rly that kinda guy, y’know?) until steph takes him out to catch his first Pokémon and they see a blipbug and she’s like ‘okay, you HAVE to catch that”.

Steph would have some kinda cool Pokémon. I’m settling on Scizor because I love drawing it and also I love the idea of them both having bug types <3

Ruth would have a Toedscool. It matches her mushroom sweater and also just kinda feels like a nerd Pokémon, y’know? Like it’s kind of a weird goober creature. I love toedscool (had one on my Violet team) so this is also just an excuse to draw more of it lol).

Ritchie I’m not actually totally set on, cause I wanted him to have a Pokémon that has kind of an ‘anime’ vibe but the only one I could really think of was lucario. Think about it, lucario has these aura attacks, it’s fighting type, and in smash bros it has that whole ‘gets stronger the more damage it takes’ which just oozes a shounen energy to me. Problem is, it feels too cool for Ritchie. Like, Ritchie’s Pokémon needs to be kinda toedscool tier in terms of coolness. Maybe it totally works in a ‘trying to hard’ kinda way, idk.

Okay so for Grace I’m gonna be totally transparent, this whole idea came up cause I saw fanart of what the characters teams would be and grace had 5 cute Mon and then a Yveltal. I love that concept, but I think Giratina works better cause it’s basically Pokémon Satan. She’d get Giratina post black book, before that her Pokémon would be Maushold, cause it’s cute, normal type, and it has this very family-values kinda energy (remember that bug that made it so it didn’t have an evolution animation and people memed the shit out of it cause like….what else does that imply if not sex??). Also the Pokédex says that the kids just sorta appear…which is hilarious and total feels like some shit grace would say.

Max has Gengar, it’s a kinda funny foreshadow/reference to him dying and I bet he uses his gengar to bully ppl/pull pranks.

I 100% wanna draw these at some point

[brokecorviknight]

Interview 2 + Nibbly Reveal

Detective Shapiro seriously considers banging her head on the desk for a moment. “At least it can’t get worse,” she thinks out loud.

She feels a small electric buzz just before Pikachu affectionately headbutts her hand. Her ears are pushed back in the most adorable way and she chitters at her human. Pokémon always seem to know just what their partners need.

Before she can even call to Officer Bailey the next interviewee, the door bursts open.

“Oh, Detective, it was terrible. I could have died!”

Linda Monroe, a woman preceded by her reputation and not in a good way. She drapes herself over the chair and continues before Detective Shapiro can say anything. “That horrible beast tried to eat me!”

Her Vespiqueen buzzes in agreement. The woman drags a teenager wearing a beanie and tie dye tank top up to the table. They had a Shiftry for their partner.

Detective Shapiro hadn’t noticed them before. “Who’s this?” She asks.

“I’m Ziggy,” the teen answers. “I’m just here because I’m getting paid.”

Linda nudges Ziggy, who produced a drawing.

Pikachu pops her head up to look and chirps excitedly.

“I assume that will be sufficient for your investigation,” Linda says. She hands a wad of cash to Ziggy as she leaves, who counts it.

“Yes. I’m gonna s-“ the teen hesitates. “Spend this money responsibly.” They try to shuffle out, but freeze when Detective Shapiro calls after them.

“Hold it. You drew that?”

They nod, Shiftry standing in front of them to protect their trainer.

“What’s your commission rate?”

[brokecorviknight]

You learn something new everyday

You know, since Android Emma can canonically integrate human organs into her body, it’s entirely possible for her to get pregnant. I have no idea how exactly it would work, but it’s possible. This has been eating my thoughts for a bit and now all of you have to experience it

[brokecorviknight]

You know, since Android Emma can canonically integrate human organs into her body, it’s entirely possible for her to get pregnant. I have no idea how exactly it would work, but it’s possible. This has been eating my thoughts for a bit and now all of you have to experience it

[brokecorviknight]

I would just like everyone to be aware that in Pokémon AU canon, the town is only aware of two of the four Hidgens. Which two, no idea. They just think there are two different Hidgens who have a total of four Pokémon between them and swap them out just to be dramatic and mess with people.

[brokecorviknight]

There is no escape

[brokecorviknight]

Interview 1 + Pokey Reveal

Detective Shapiro flips through her notebook. “Six Legendaries, in this backwater town?”

“Pika?” Her partner, Pikachu responds. Her trainer pats her head.

“Probably just mass hysteria, not surprising, those woods give me the creeps too. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.” She shouts to Officer Bailey and his Skarmory, “Send in the first witness, please.”

A very average looking man sits down across from her, accompanied by his partner Pokémon. He adjusts his tie nervously and awaits the Detective’s questions.

Shapiro looks at her notes again. “Mr. Matthews, thank you for coming in.”

“Perkins,” He corrects her. “I’ve been married for a few years now.

“Congratulations. Now, could you tell me about this strange Pokémon that you encountered?”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve seen anything particularly strange. This is Hatchetfield after all.” On his lap, Ditto morphs to copy Pikachu.

Detective Shapiro is beginning to get frustrated, her notes are almost completely useless. “Do you have any information on these supposed Legendary Pokémon that live around your town?”

“Umm. No, but you should ask Paul. He’s got a knack for sensing when one of them is around.”

“I thought you were Paul Matthews?” She questions.

Finally understanding her confusion, the man reintroduces himself. “My name is Pryce Perkins.”

Interview 1.2

With the knowledge gained from her last interview, Detective Shapiro is confident she’ll have this one nailed.

The interviewee enters the room, he looks practically identical to the first, but a bit scruffier and not quite as well dressed. He holds his partner, an Espeon to his chest for comfort.

The man makes a small ‘mreow’ as he sits, very odd, but perhaps it’s just a Hatchetfield thing. Pikachu hands her a notepad. Learning her lesson from last time, the detective starts off with a simple question.

“Could you state your name, please?”

“Puss”

Not the man she’s looking for. “Is there a last name that goes with that?”

“Umm, no. It’s just Puss.”

“Thank you for coming in.”

Interview 1.3

Detective Shapiro sits across from the third identical man this evening, this one has an Exploud for a partner. Pikachu eyes him suspiciously as her human does the same to the man.

“Your name is Paul Matthews is it not?” The woman asks.

“Umm…yes?”

“Yes it is? Or Yes is isn’t?” Pikachu fluffs up with electricity. Exploud makes a concerned roaring sound. She’ll have to remind her partner that this isn’t a criminal investigation later.

“My name is Paul Matthews” he answers quickly.

“My sources tell me that you have a connection to the reported sightings of some mysterious Pokémon. Could you elaborate?”

“I get a kind of weird feelings when one of them is around or meddling in things. I’ve seen one of them before, the blue one. It was unlike any Pokémon I had seen before. My partner and I barely got away.” He pets Exploud as he says that last part.

“Could you please describe it in detail to me?”

[brokecorviknight]

put him in a maze typa way??