bumperklitz69

[bumperklitz69]

<333333

[bumperklitz69]

I never post my face, but hai <3

[bumperklitz69]

Si Se Puede

Working hard, and being in a country for years

Your whole life

to living everyday with nothing but fears

Obscurity setting the tone

Notions suffocated by the unknown

Reflections and memories of this life being your home

Now facing possibly being isolated and alone

Overwhelmed, stuck and confused

Pondering over everything you can lose

Imagine your life on pause with a missing remote to press play

And all you desire is to stay

I look around

I see mothers cry as patrol cars drive past

Clutching to their children with hopes they aren’t taken too fast

I see fire, I see chaos

An ambience cloaked with anger, grief and loss

Faces melted with emotion

Hope fading to erosion

This is the land of the free, or so they say

But the ones who work hard just to survive are the individuals who have to pay

Contradicting realities in the coldest air

Placing heartless judgment with even just a stare.

“They don’t belong here, let’s save this land

now send in the infantry” they voice on demand

Not one care in the world towards those who have done no wrong

Towards the families who built this nation, working night and day being told they no longer belong.

But until torment knocks at their door

It’s then a matter they won’t ignore

They’ll mandate whatever they perceive fit

But you see, this is a truth those specific individuals will never admit.

But my people are made of flames

No matter what ignorance fueled hate proclaims

We stand together

pride in our veins that no one can ever untether

This is coming from my heart

This is my voice, and I’m doing my part.

I’m not writing this for political debate

I’m writing this to stand for the souls ripped apart by fate

I’m writing this for the souls who can still see humanity even passed all the insanity

I’m writing this for the souls who still listen

Who covet peace, and equality as a vision

I speak because silence is not liberation.

My bloodlines deserve reclamation.

I was born to arise, not to appease

“I’d rather die on my feet than bleed on my knees.”

Chinga La Migra

-Nikki<3

[bumperklitz69]

Where The Stars Wait

Hi my love,

you crossed my mind today.

There is this lingering thought

of what if you were to stay.

I know that’s not what fate planned,

but your soul will always echo in the sand.

You’re a whisper of destiny

that vanished before we could meet

a wonder missed,

but one I will always feel on repeat.

The prospect yearns,

and although I understand,

it still burns.

It simmers deep in my soul.

I don’t feel it’s a notion

one could ever fully console.

But when desolation hovers

and I feel alone,

a star in the sky glows

sorrow surrenders and is overthrown.

I found peace,

and I know you did too.

The stars took you back

that much I know to be true.

I gaze at the night sky

and see the orbs glistening.

I let out a silent whisper,

and I know that you’re listening.

I love you, my baby

and I always will.

In my quiet,

when the world stands still.

Time being measured by clocks…

but when that gentle wind blows,

time stops.

In another life,

it’s you I’ll finally be able to hold and pursue.

I promise to never forget you.

Until the day comes,

I’ll follow the stars until they lead me to you

a dream in my chest,

with the night sky in my view.

With love , Nikki <3

[bumperklitz69]

Chips Over Your Soul

I saw the red flags and thought I could water them green,

into something beautiful we both had never seen.

Watching emotions turn to feelings,

feelings turn to love that would blossom and bloom

but it was my depth you could never fully consume.

My heart aches for the girl who sat up at night waiting,

spiraling in her thoughts, constantly replaying

questioning what was broken in herself.

Why was she always like a doll on a shelf?

I ache for her, but I ache for you too.

You allowed fear to obstruct something deep down you knew to be true,

so you lied and tried to convince yourself that you had no clue.

Ignorance is bliss, they say,

hiding under the smile and persona that you portray.

You belong to the world, not even yourself.

It was then I realized I wasn’t the one who was on a shelf.

I hope avoidance can mask the time your heart will need to heal.

I hope in time, you will one day allow yourself to feel.

Hiding in walls you thought would keep pain at bay,

but it’s still you who has to pay.

A gambling man, trusting stagnation to be the dealer’s hand,

betting against time

but the mistake you made was wagering against mine.

I hope one day that you listen,

release your soul from your own inner prison.

In time, concrete begins to crack,

exposing what’s buried beneath the surface.

Even the durability of cement begins to lack

like an obsolete dam holding back waves of the ocean,

all it takes is that one motion

allowing shades of marine blue to finally break through.

What then will you finally do?

You’ll have to face your own essence, explain to your own soul

how you allowed your own ego to take control.

When you’re alone and your pride disappears,

the memories left in your back pocket will be your only souvenirs.

-Nikki <3

[bumperklitz69]

How are you so good?? I love it!

Thank you so, so much!! Your kind words mean so much to me. I’m still new to this all, and the encouragement I’ve gotten is incredible, and I’m very grateful 🥺

I’ve always used journaling as an outlet. Im not one who usually would be this vulnerable publicly, but one day I just said fuck it. So I hope you all enjoy 🫶🏽🩷

[bumperklitz69]

What is love?

You can love somebody, and still not feel like you’re enough.

Even if they call your bluff.

I’m supposed to trust that?

Someone can just rip my heart out, as if it’s nothing but a gnat.

Maybe I’m jaded.

The word love in my mind being so faded.

It makes me wonder about the people who publicly expose

The one they chose.

And I always think: how did you know?

Was it from the start, or did it take time to grow?

But maybe it’s all just a show.

And we’re all in this twisted world, being naïve and going with the flow.

Is it reckless someone can be your whole entity?

What if it’s broken promises

Disguised as serenity?

Maybe I’m just speaking out loud, hoping that you’ll listen.

Show me I’m wrong with everything I’ve written.

On this paper of negligent thoughts,

Tangled up in paper knots.

Maybe these echoes are just corrupted,

And I’m just a girl interrupted.

Never leaving my heart too revealing,

Stitched-up wounds you never saw, and called it healing.

Can you really show me the way,

Without both of us questioning if the other will stay?

I’ve always looked at you different though,

Even though broken love is all that I know.

Maybe our love is just as lucky as a clover.

Can we start over?

Our devotion together, being nominal.

Is that even possible?

We both know we’re too stubborn to quit.

I believe it.

Still, we’re not that logical.

Our soul tie, optical.

It’s you who brings me faith,

After everything, loving me with such grace.

My fire doesn’t alarm you, and you’ve never put me out.

You’re just as insane as me, you’ve shown me with no hesitation or doubt.

In this world, this beautiful, fucked-up place,

Despite what you believe, you were never one I could replace.

Rain buried our graves, abandoning us both numb,

Leaving nothing but bitter days to come.

Our minds led us to believe that our love was done,

But even wilted flowers can bloom in the sun.

Our love was a seed,

Meant for the haze to bleed.

Because that’s how flowers blossom,

A metaphor I finally learned to fathom.

Today I carry a belief

That me and you can make it through our grief.

Bring me our love, prove me wrong.

Through it all, you’ll always be my favorite song.

[bumperklitz69]

Roses

Painting the red roses red.

Laying in a field of crimson, wondering if I’m dead.

A voice mocking in the distance, “It’s all in her head.”

I take deep breaths. I breathe in slowly.

Whoever would have thought living in a world full of mad would feel so lonely.

More chaos. It’s all I know.

Fire burning through roses till the rain comes back and helps them grow.

Dispositions of rage leaking through a cage called a mind.

A space with too much storage that’s only purpose is to remind.

A mind that can’t keep up with your emotions.

Always leading to your biggest explosions.

Once the fire scorches through the roses,

Ingesting the painful words and actions as the door closes.

Visuals of a spinning tea cup.

Emotions finally catching up.

Sorrow and pain,

Drowning you in your own summer rain.

Distorted mirrors following my every glance.

Clouded thoughts asking if this is the last dance.

Trapped in your own reflection, wanting a way out, yet too tired to even attempt.

The words through a glass screaming contempt.

Spirit feeling lost, numbly resting on a cushioned shroom.

Smoke in the air floating your ghost over the moon.

Whispers of “Who are you?”

In a place where different remedies are to make you feel new.

Here’s one, here’s two. One’s big and one is small.

Which one is the right one to install?

Confusion, lost, gambling your mind at all cost.

Which one for you is embossed?

Pink, blue. Which color stays true?

Will the pink form you back to blue?

Or will the blue loosen a screw?

Walking under a sheet or under a cloud.

Am I dreaming? Pinch me so I can feel something out loud.

Running from my own shadows.

Getting lost in the meadows.

Months and weeks on a Ferris wheel draped in despair.

Time has no meaning there.

The perception of an eternity gone,

Just to find you’ve only been gone

Handfuls of minutes all along.

Some roses bleed.

Some roses grow thorn.

Still, we are all roses, planted by seeds, waiting to be reborn.

[bumperklitz69]

I just wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who has shown love and support towards my art. It really means the world to me. I know some of you have even made accounts specifically to support me.

I also want to mention my last entry, “Stardust on the Dance Floor.”

This piece is honestly one of the most vulnerable writings I have ever written or shared. This poem was based on a very difficult time for me when I was in my early 20s, and writing it came from a very raw and visual place.

Writing this is the first time I’ve actually reflected on and relived that chapter of my life. So this was my healing.

I am so full of joy and appreciation for everyone who has found this piece to be beautiful.

Thank you for inspiring me to continue this journey.

Xoxo

-Nikki<3

[bumperklitz69]

Stardust On The Dance Floor

Disco tits, shimmered, in gold,

with a heart she wishes could be sold.

She dances like no one‘s watching

eyes closed, she knows that she’s falling.

Deep from grace, but it’s the intoxicants that embrace

Over her heart, she was doomed from the start,

but she smiles and covers her eyes in glitter.

The gleam from it paints the perfect picture.

Avoidance dressed as glam

that’s how it all began.

Platform shoes as big as her essence,

allowing nothing coming close to her presence.

Red lips leaving a honey kiss,

and that tiny black dress you just can’t miss.

Her leather jacket, bury it like a blanket in her casket.

Her liner smudged, sharp, and loyal,

making the tears rolling down her cheek recoil.

You couldn’t catch a glance of the silver trail

dripping as she’d dance the night away

life moving so fast she couldn’t even tell you the day.

The girl dressed as art,

being nothing but doll parts and a broken heart.

Hands on her body, but no real hands

knowing no one understands.

Her mirror ball soul

spinning and losing control.

Dressed by ultraviolence and betrayal,

never knowing what truth was left to unveil.

Disguised in ultraviolet light, glistening so bright.

A kiss to the bottle,

a petition to fill the void.

Keeping the empty echos destroyed.

The feeling of ecstasy to burn through the summer,

making her a little bit number.

Snow for the winter

she could be your biggest sinner.

Anything to stay blind,

and keep the feeling of despair off her mind.

Flashing lights, and life becoming a blur.

Her words becoming a slur.

At night, she was hers to hold

hips moving in chaos, shivering in gold,

Each time seeing more and more nothing but her glitter spilled on the floor.

Even in the cascaded luster,

she saw luminance reminding her of her eminence.

She needed the painful sequence

that danced on the floor

to show her that life was much more.

[bumperklitz69]

Breathe

Breathe in slowly

you’re almost there

even when you try to act like you don’t care when you’re in love you’re in love

you don’t need a ton of signals from above because when you know you know,

but I get that sometimes that’s hard to show.

I know you’re not perfect, but I never asked you to be.

I just needed you present and honestly that was the key.

I don’t hold it against you

I know what I feel you feel too

There’s a safe space in your eyes

The same space you try and disguise

I dream about you and I think you dream about me.

I don’t think you’re that blind to see.

But you’re stuck in logic and I’m stuck in love

If it’s not true, please call my bluff

That’s what I would hope

But I’m tired of feeling like I’m constantly throwing you a rope

just to meet me halfway

Each time, wondering if you’re gonna stay

I take a deep breath and I exhale the rest

Living and hoping for the best

Just breathe, you’re almost there

Longing for the love we share

Inhale and exhale

In time we’ll prevail

[bumperklitz69]

The Red Thread

We lost our way there for a little bit didn’t we?

Confusing being lost with being free

My mind just couldn’t take it anymore

And I had nothing left to pour

But you’re soul never left mine

my heart never left yours

Regardless of any lures

It was me and you from the beginning and it’ll be me and you till the end

Any hurt or pain? I know we can mend

They say love conquers all

And our love is anything but small

Through the currents and the craziest rivers

My heart through the shakes and shivers

You are my calm before the storm

You are the rain that blooms roses to transform

We are fire we are frost, and although we thought we might’ve lost

Our paths yet again have crossed

Though the fire may have dimmed, it was never put out

Love whispered in silence, the words we couldn’t shout

This love is an eternity and when I look into your eyes, I see

A life lived happy and free

An endless amount of love more than the distance of the sea

You and I we’re always written divinely , and endless to be

[bumperklitz69]

Where is my mind?

I never really felt like I fit in.

Life always feeling like a spin.

I don’t ask what I’m doing here out loud anymore.

After a while it just sounds like a bore.

I take the steps of healing, but I still shut down.

Do I need more hands to help me not drown?

Am I just calm from my meds,

Disguising life as it shreds?

The walls in my room know too much,

Needing to get out and feel someone’s touch.

My art is beautiful, but reminds me I’d starve.

So instead of it being my world, I wear it like a scarf.

A scarf in the summer

Doesn’t make sense and makes me feel so much dumber.

I’ve embodied so many lives, I don’t know which one is mine.

Have I lost all my shine?

I can’t take my own advice.

My healing isn’t linear.

At times the only emotion I feel is fear.

Deep in my chest I can’t breathe,

Only left drowning in my seethe.

Life moving too fast,

Asking how long will I last.

Where is my mind?

Life isn’t so kind.

Can you find it?

I feel I’ve lost it.

But I don’t wanna quit.

Nothing worse than having no control,

Making my body feel like a corpse that life stole.

Every thought, every emotion

Staying level-headed in my world is such a devotion.

But sometimes I get tired.

It’s just the way my brain has been wired.

I ache for the girl who hated the living and envied the dead.

All she wanted was to get out of her head.

Aching for the girl who struggled,

Who detached herself through a war she never asked for,

Finding herself broken on the floor.

Bruises being invisible, but bled all the same,

Playing life as a game.

I just want my mind,

But not the one I was assigned.

[bumperklitz69]

Humming Bird

I’m a song to you

a song you hum daily in your head,

the song that echoes the loudest to you before bed.

The hum of the sound when our lips part

that’s kept us connected from the start.

Don’t be a victim to your ego,

or prey to your pride.

Don’t swim toward the shore

just to get caught in the tide.

I’ll be there at the shore.

Waiting, watching.

Wondering when.

Standing alone again.

Free yourself

from the chains on your soul.

Free me

from the empty space in my heart

that’s never felt whole.

One decision

the fate of two.

Souls meant to connect again

and find their way through.

You may choose blindness,

but your heart knows it’s true.

The warmth of my skin,

the softness in my voice

is nothing but a song you hum,

until the day you allow words to form

what’s meant for us to become.

[bumperklitz69]

The Rock.

Rocks sink to the bottom of the ocean.

The weight and density of the rock hold it down,

causing it to sink lower and lower, like an anchor.

I’ve always been a rock.

My entire life, I have been a rock.

I’ve always had to be the strong one holding everything together,

yet it’s like no one ever even noticed.

I’ve always taken care of someone.

I’ve always carried someone.

The weight of the world has always been on my back.

In the end, I always felt like I would come up short.

Somehow, something was always my fault.

I always felt taken for granted, taken advantage of.

For my own sanity, that was never something I was able to address.

So I just held it in.

I was so tired of being this person.

So I turned myself into a different version.

I speak my truth.

I still love as hard and as deeply as I always have

but this time, only for those who love me the same.

[bumperklitz69]

Holy shit

My ears straight up just squirted glitter.

Euphoric