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So we agree that our boys are the embodiment of the 3 classic responses to trauma.

Fight: Andrew

Flight: Neil

Freeze: Kevin

Now, may I present you:

Fawn: Jean-Yves Moreau

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This is Elodie erasure and I will not stand for it.

Also, related to my last post.

No body ever said "I love you" to Jean so probably Jeremy would be the first.

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I modeled my bitmoji's outfit to cosplay Neil Josten. I even added a hidden joke by putting a bloody shirt on and the neon orange 'windbreaker' over it to embody his I'm Fine™️

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Jean about Jeremy. Neil still thinks Andrew's hazel eyes are beautiful but will still argue lol

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The kicker? Neil responds the exact same way he would have for Andrew, only knowing now how far he's willing to go. If it hadn't been Aaron, it would have been Neil murdering Drake despite hiding from Nathan. Neil has seen Drake now. He has seen the abuse that can be caused by a rapist firsthand. So when Jean makes that comparison, Neil has probably thought of a thousand ways he would have prevented Drake raping Andrew and he picks the most logical way to prevent Jean from being raped again by Greyson... while knowing the fbi are on their way. He orders a hit on a man right before an interrogation that he knows is coming because like fuck is anyone going to hurt his circle without paying for it.

I know Jean bringing up Drake like that was kind of rough but it's the only way he was able to talk about Grayson. Like I get he so desperately wants to talk to someone, tell them what happened but not being able to say the words so he finds a work around that makes it some what easier to choke out. Jean just wants someone to care and that was the best and only way he knew how to make Neil understand. And boy, did it work.

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The “Spectrum”

Autisticality

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neil josten really saw aaron kill a rapist and was like, "hey i should do that" and then he did. twice. incredible.

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I have to wonder if Nora is just wealthy and doing this for fun, or if she genuinely doesn't understand her worth?? I thought the first 3 were that cheap because they're old.

nora's plot is like here are some made up people that i've made to suffer EVERY TRAUMA and the most grievous lack of autonomy i could think of. and their story starts from the WORST point in their lives where things have gotten so bad that their only two options are to literally kill themselves or to fight back, but at that point they are so succumbed to the perceived truth of their demises that they recklessly choose to do something that they never would have done before because they think they're going to die anyways. BUT THEN the rest of the book is about them processing their trauma instead of just stuffing it into a little box and learning about themselves and finding a group of people who love them and trusted mentors and doing something they love for the right reasons and learning that they can get to a place where they can love life because they have chosen to actually deal with their issues instead of just thinking that there's no point because they don't have a future and it not only makes them better people but it helps the people around them AND THEN SHE MADE THE BOOKS BE 99 cents.

i'm screaming i'm crying i'm asking nora to open the door and let me in i just want to talk

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Was literally expecting to pay like $20 minimum. So instead I'm just buying all my friends copies lol

tsc costing 1 dolar is so cool, i would have given my first born for it but one dollar is fine too

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Neil is protective of what is his. He knows Jean isn't a bad person. He probably knows it cost Jean something awful when Neil left Evermore and Jean still bandaged him and faced the pain next to him. He included Jean among the Moriyama assets for a reason. He could have left Jean to his fate, but he didn't.

Neil and Jean will probably never be friends the way emotionally balanced people would recognize, but Neil made Jean one of his and just like his foxes, Neil will keep him safe. The second Neil appeared at his door and asked about Jean's injuries, I knew he was ready to kill. Especially when Jean compared Grayson to Drake. Jean doesn't understand the concept of being loved and protected, but Neil learned it from Andrew, who let's be honest, would have just murdered Grayson himself.

.... I'm honestly more surprised Jean didn't notice it until Neil dropped him off. I mean, he knows Neil is feral and executed Riko right?

the way neil just fucking casually wrote down that name, slid it across the table and ordered a hit right in front of jean's salad

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I love the implication that Andrew is the new King of Exy. Also, really love how that parallels the actual book dynamics lol

kevin's the court queen and neil's the court jester

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I'm excited to see if Jean really feels at peace with this (or how he feels to be precise after he processes it) and if he tells anyone when Lucas inevitably confronts him or at least shares that he's dead. And the way Neil shut down Jean's line of thinking he doesn't deserve to be saved by saying "remember Elodie next time you think that"? I fucking sobbed.

no because if i think about it too long im going to cry. like as insane as it was, neil putting out that hit was the first time someone had ever successfully protected jean without expecting anything in return.

kevin was a bystander in the nest and zane only watched his back so long as it was convenient for him, and then betrayed him without a backward glance. renee wanted to protect jean but by the time she got to him, the damage was done and jean was already at death's door. all she and abby, wymack and bee could do was pick up the pieces and put him back together again.

but neil motherfucking josten saw that jean was in danger and said "i can do something about this" and he just did it. no questions asked.

i can't wait for that to become jean's new normal. I can't wait for the trojans to pick up where neil left off. jean has people who will watch out for him now. people who care and will do whatever they can to keep him safe simply because they want to.

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You're not wrong though. From his insistence that he is in fact a moron, to having the self awareness to know he's excellent at starting fights while also acknowledging he can not finish one, all the way up to making the fbi wait on his ass to finish his drink. Like he is so freaking funny. But then I remember Kevin hates his attitude and I'm just like... did anyone ever joke that Kevin would have cut off Neil's head as the queen for being such an unrepentant smartass?

kevin's the court queen and neil's the court jester

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Can we talk about this? Nora writes consent so beautifully. This is on par with "I won't be like them; I won't let you let me be" and Andrew saying no to Neil touching his arm when Neil wanted to know how Andrew could stand his touch.

Jeremy recognizes Jean is abused and, despite feeling attraction, he immediately tells Jean to tell him if he ever feels unsafe in the sense of pursuing him... but when Jean says he feels unsafe in a conversation, Jeremy backs down and respects it even if this is an important discussion.

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I am literally about to cry. Like there have been many moments before this point where I wanted to cry, but like... Gods, this is so tender and I wonder if Jean has ever been told he matters before this.

How does Nora write such meaningful relationships and believable characters? Like this is on tier with andreil. 🥺

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My partner and I just had an impromptu shadow puppet fight. We're in our 30s. This is how life is meant to be lived. In silly, chaotic bursts with loved ones.