this circus has ruined me.
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i realized
you just want me to be around, don’t you?
for me, it was just
the way i showed up for you
the way i held you down and had your back
the way i was always the stable one,
the one who always thinks clearly
the way i was loyal for you
you are scared of losing me
because you just lost one of your closest
and no one else handle you like i do, right?
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i’m done trying. u won. i’ll leave u alone
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“I look at myself in the mirror with a few broken pieces of my heart in hand wondering what collage of a fake face I will make with them today. Excited? Or do I simply pretend to be happy? Do I even have the strength to pull off a smile anymore?”
— tara love / the breakdown as i sit on the bathroom counter
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“get over him already”, my brain warned.
—“i will. but not now”, my heart replied.
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“If I can’t be your girlfriend, I’ll be your best friend. If I can’t be your best friend, I’ll just be your friend. & if I can’t be your friend, I’ll settle for being your enemy. Honestly, anything is better than being thought of as nothing to the person that is your everything.”
— indescribable feelings // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #6
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“i want to be over you, i really do.”
— but i think no matter what, part of me is always going to love you.
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i don’t want to love you forever, unless?
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“It’s been months since I heard your laugh the last time and still, you haunt me in the early hours of the morning, in those minutes of being half-asleep and half-awake, making me lose my sense for reality all over again.”
—
// get out of my head
j.d.m.
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I saw you again today. You didn’t see me though, you were just looking down at your phone. Such a little thing, such a small act. Such a small glimpse of you. And yet here I am, still thinking about it. About you. About everything.
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Why does life keep making me run into you? It’s like a cruel reminder of how you’ll never be mine. I tried so hard to make something happen, but you didn’t feel the same. So as you walk past in this hall and our eyes meet, I think of what could’ve been. If only fate worked in our favor...
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I know my friends are probably sick of hearing me go on and on about you, but I just can’t get you off of my goddamn mind
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How could I be so foolish to fall for someone like you...
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“Even the stars couldn’t predict that we’d eventually meet each other.”
— s.s. (stephenstilwell)
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“Sometimes I need some space and silence. Don’t let me go, I’ll be right back.”
— s.s. (stephenstilwell)
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“I was the sweetest fruit, but you preferred lemons and limes—that’s just fine.”
— s.s. (stephenstilwell)
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you’ve been gone since the summer
you still crash over me like the tide
sometimes i’m staring at the horizon, ready and waiting
other times, I’m turning away
and your current drags me back
—
the moon calls me back to you
when i’m am alone and tired
fighting it feels useless
it will pull your waves in and back out
with or without me watching
—
it’s been months and i’m still drowning
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