Tumgik
bxckywrites · 1 year
Note
hey could you add me to the taglist for your story “A Little Too Much” please? i’d really appreciate it :)
Added you to part 6 Love! Sorry it took so long to finish
0 notes
bxckywrites · 1 year
Text
A Little Too Much // Part 6
Series Paring - Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Warnings - I'm not sure, I'll update this later
Other Characters - Steve
Word Count - 1,162 (not as long as I wanted my apologies)
Part Summary - After being brought back to the compound, Wanda waits for you to wake up.
Tumblr media
gif is not mine
A/N - This part is long overdue, but I may be coming back to finish the series soon :)
Part 5
____
It’s been 2 weeks since the team found you in Romania and since that day you’ve been stuck in the hospital ward Stark built a few years prior. The doctors decided to put you into a medically induced coma in order to heal after the trauma and all of the surgeries you underwent. Through it all, Wanda never once left your bedside and had set up a place to sleep at night so that she could be there when you eventually woke up. There had been a few close calls over the last few weeks, but each time you managed to pull through.
“They should wake within the next couple of minutes,” Tony states. He sits on the makeshift bed and waits patiently for any signs of movement from either you or your “guard dog” as Natasha so kindly named her.
Your eyes begin to open and you wince as the light hits you. “Y/N you’re awake!”
Wanda struggles to contain her excitement as she grabs onto your arm as gently as she can in case it hurts. The look in her eyes screams relief as she begins to ramble about how much she missed you and how she’ll never forgive herself for your kidnapping. She doesn’t seem to notice your eyes darting across the room, trying to locate where her voice is coming from. You know in your heart that your best friend is the one speaking, but where is she and why can’t you see her?
“We almost lost you a few times but I knew you’d pull through. You’re the toughest person I know!” Her smile begins to falter as she finally looks into your eyes and realizes that you’re staring at the ceiling. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”
Wanda begins frantically calling for anyone to help, worried about the unkown and terrified that she’s going to lose you.
Your gaze never moves from it’s place and you can’t understand why you are struggling to speak. It’s so frustrating. Why will the words not come out? You can’t remember what happened but you're sure they left your vocal cords alone as they don't feel different. There is rushing around the room but you can’t force yourself to move. Nothing hurts anymore but the thought of moving terrifies you. You can hear voices calling out to you, all worried, all afraid, but you can’t bring yourself to tell them that you're alright. Maybe some more sleep will help. Maybe you just woke up too early.
Peace begins to wash over you as you begin to drift into unconsciousness, letting sleep take over your body, you close your eyes and take a breath.
____
*Wanda’s POV*
“What’s going on?! Why are they not speaking?!”
I can’t breathe. They were awake, I saw their eyes. What happened? Did I do something?
My throat begins to close as I continue to scream at the doctors, begging them to help my dear friend. I can’t lose them like I’ve lost so many others. I will not lose them. Everyone turns their attention to me as fear flashes in the eyes of the doctors. What are they looking at?
“Wanda, maybe you should get some air and let the doctors help Y/N.”
My eyes snap towards Steve and I notice his hand is outstretched towards me as if he wants me to take it. I begin to understand the fear as I look down at my own hands and see the glowing red smoke bleeding through my fingers.
I take a deep breath and calmly walk out of the room, turning around for a brief moment to see the doctors swarm around you.
Trying to distract my mind I ended up in the training room, throwing magic everywhere as I destroy the targets one by one. It makes it easier to hit something when you think of it as someone you’d like to kill. I would kill Strucker in every universe if it meant you would wake up again. Another target morphs behind me and I hit it with enough force to take the head clean off, smiling at my work. Something about destroying things makes my brain feel better, almost helps me to forget why I am upset or hurt in the first place.
I remember the first time we trained together. I did most of the work, but your company was needed and the patience shown towards my fury made it hard to not feel safe around you.
Someone came into the room around 10 minutes ago but I haven’t cared enough to acknowledge them. I can feel them watching me as I take my anger out on the entire room but I do not care. It’s only when their hand grabs onto my shoulder that I finally look to see Steve.
Rogers has always been someone I can trust, even in my darkest moment he has fought for me and cared for me. “Sorry about the targets, do you think Tony will be mad?” Stark can afford new tech and more training targets but I still feel a little bad that I ruined over half of the room. His eyes light up as he lets out a short laugh, “I think he’ll be more worried about never making you mad.” The thought of Stark being scared of me hurts a little but I know Steve didn’t mean it in a bad way so I laugh a little at his “joke”. A sigh escapes me as I rest my head in my hands.
“I don’t know what to do Steve,” my eyes begin to burn as I feel them swell with tears. So many toughts race through my mind as I replay the moments between your eyes opening and closing again. I can’t figure out what went wrong.
Steve puts his arms around me as he hugs my shaking body to his. Moments like this remind me of why I fight so hard to do the right thing and yet, I can still feel the rage boiling in my stomach. “The doctors said that their vision must’ve been blurry when they woke up because of how long they were out,” Steven rubs my back as he talks, “you did nothing wrong Wanda. They were probably not ready yet and that's why they closed their eyes again.” My heart feels like someone ripped it out and burned it at the thought of you being overwhelmed by waking up and the rambling I chose to do most likely did not help. I know you’ll wake again, soon I hope, but I worry about your recovery. If the doctors were right and your eyes just couldn't adjust to reality and not your comatose state, will it be permanent? I can’t bare the thought of you going through that.
“C’mon,” Rogers offers me his hand again, “they’re awake and asking for you.”
I can feel my heart begin to race as I rush to the room.
____
Part 7
Feedback is always appreciated
Taglist: (forgot to add before posting sorry!)
@severepeanutartisanhands , @honey-sweet-hiraeth , @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @diaryoflife
52 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 3 years
Note
ALTM pt 6?
Hi hello!
I am so sorry for how long it's taking me to get ALTM pt 6 out! A lot has happened in this past year for me. I lost two grandparents, had a messy and mentally draining break up, I had covid and another physical issue, my parents moved across the country, both of my childhood pets passed away, I've been working 45-60 hours a week, and I've moved twice since November (the second time was on July 6th). I have been working on part 6 throughout everything, I just haven't had the energy to finish it yet. I am working on it tho! My goal is to have it out by September at the latest, I just gotta get through these last two chaotic weeks for me to have the time and energy for it. I thank you guys for all your patience and everyone who has asked to be tagged, you are on a list in the draft I have here on tumblr!
1 note · View note
bxckywrites · 4 years
Text
Hello!
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you guys so much for all the love on part 5 of ALTM, as well as the rest of the series! You guys are so kind and I truly appreciate every single one of you. As for an update on part 6, I am going to start it soon but I am currently dealing with my parents moving and trying to help them out. Although I said it would be out this month, it is possible I might not get it out until April so just be aware. Last thing before I go, if you asked to be on a tag list for ALTM I promise you will! I'm going to make a note of all that wish to be on it so if you haven't asked yet and would like to be tagged just let me know!
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 4 years
Text
A Little Too Much // Part 5
Series Pairing - Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Warnings - Language, anxiety/panic attack sort of?, rushed as hell, small flashback type thing, Wanda being overprotective, that one annoying cliché that is so overused
Other Characters - Natasha, Tony, Steve
Word Count - 1,418 (didn’t know how else to end it I apologize)
Part Summary - Word of an explosion in a remote location travels a lot faster when you’re actively looking for a missing person
Tumblr media
gif is not mine
A/N - I know this isn't the best but I wanted to make good on my promise and actually post again
Part 4
————
Her brain plays the instructions over and over like a record player.
“I’ll take you as far as the front door. I want you to find a set of car keys and get out of here, do you understand?”
Years old and still fresh in her mind.
“Find a set of car keys”
“Get out of here”
What compelled you to even break down that door in the first place? Why were you even there? Her mind races as that day flashes through it on a loop. She stares at the paint outline mimicking a hand, noticing the size is as familiar as her own. The print. That damn outline of paint.
“Wanda! Come here a second would you,” Natasha screams as her teammates all begin to file into the room once more. 
“What’s going on? Why are you yelling?” Tony walks up behind her and follows her line of sight. “Nat, it’s a paint outline of a hand, we’ve already talked about it, why are you freaking out?” Natasha turns towards the rest of them, eyes wide as she tries to articulate her words in a way they would understand. Her gaze finds its way to Wanda and locks onto hers. “That print wasn’t made by a hand. It was traced. That outline is just that, an outline around a person’s hand. A person unable to protest or think about what is even happening to them in the first place.” Steve gives Natasha a look, “What do you mean by that? Someone placed another person’s hand onto the window and traced the outline? To do what exactly?”
“To confuse us, obviously Rogers.” She rolls her eyes harder than necessary before continuing her theory. “About 8 years ago, before anyone even knew who Y/N was, I was compromised and taken to a remote cabin in the middle of Denmark. I was just one of countless women who were abused and tortured for months.” She returns her gaze to Wanda’s, “Y/N must have been on a mission of their own, for what, I still don’t know, but they found me and helped me escape.”
Wanda just stares blankly at her whilst she continues, “When they were helping me, I watched their hands since I couldn’t make out much more than that. Those hands are almost identical in size to the one on the window.” She turns back towards the window, “Y/N’s hands were used to make this.” 
“So Y/N was somehow incompacitated, forced to hold their hand to a window so they could trace it, and taken somewhere we don’t know, all without anyone noticing?!” Wanda screams, her body shaking as anger trembles throughout. Her eyes begin to glow a soft shade of red, her hands curling into fits at her side. Steve makes his way over to her and puts his hand on her shoulder. “Wanda please calm down, they didn’t want this to happen.”
Her hands stay in fists and her eyes begin to burn with tears and her power. “I thought your security system was impeccable Stark. What the fuck happened?!”
Tony takes a deep breath, obviously embarrassed, “they bypassed it Wanda. I don’t know how, but they did. I’ve already been going through the programming and trying to trace the bypass, but whoever did this has become untraceable.” Natasha gives Tony a look, “what do you mean they became untraceable? You could trace them earlier?”
“There was a signal match a few miles outside of Transylvania, but that’s the closest I’ve been able to get because it vanished within seconds.”
Natasha stalks her way towards the man, “it vanished?” Tony nods, confused by her venomous tone, “yes Nat, it disappeared. Probably because whatever made the signal was destroyed. That’s not an uncommon occurrence.” Before anyone has a chance to counter, FRIDAY suddenly chimes in. “Boss, you might want to turn on the TV. There’s a news story about an explosion in Romania.”
Everyone’s eyes grow wide and they all rush into the living room as FRIDAY turns on the main television.
“There has been no word of how many were affected by the devastating combustion, nor is there any word of how many casualties were inside when it exploded. However, there have been rumors that an Avenger was being held captive within the building, although officials say they have yet to confirm said theory.”
Everyone exchanges glances at each other before heading off to gear up and get on a quinjet.
————
*3 hours later*
“Wanda slow down, we need to stick together in case there are hostiles nearby.”
But she can’t slow down. All she can think about is the possibility that she’s found you. She has to have found you.
It doesn’t take her long to find the ruins of the building as it is still producing tons of thick black smoke. She pushes her way through the crowd, refusing to stop when confronted by authorities. “Wanda!” The shouts of her name don’t faze her and she stops at the beginning of the rubble. “I’m going to find you Y/N. I promise.”
Her eyes and hands begin to glow as she starts lifting debris. Bodies are everywhere, but none even resemble you. She begins to lose hope and as the feeling of failure washes over her, her body begins to shake violently. She couldn’t have lost you. She just couldn’t. You have to still be alive but where? Where are you? Why can’t she find you? She should have found you by now. Why is everything blurry and why does her body feel like it’s being dipped repeatedly in lava? Why can’t she breathe? What the hell is going on?
“Wanda?!”
She barely hears the shouts. “Wanda it’s okay. Calm down, you’re safe. Everything is okay, just relax.” As hard as she tries, she just can’t calm down. What’s wrong with her? Why is this happening?
“Wanda please, Y/N needs you. They need you to stay strong. They need you to find them, so please, just take some deep breaths. You’ll be okay, I promise.”
She doesn’t know who’s speaking, but she does know her breathing has slowed and her vision is finally coming back. Once she regains full sight, she wastes no time in continuing to clear debris until she comes to a turned over bed of some sort. Nearby are what look to be what used to be monitors, but she can’t be sure. The longer she stares at it, the more she begins to realize exactly what this building once was.
Not far from the bed lies the lifeless body of Strucker. As she stares at his corpse, horror filled memories play through her mind. Of everything she endured. Of her beloved brother. Of the pain. Pure rage boils inside of her as she throws his body towards a still burning fire.
“Wanda? Is that you?”
She freezes in place at the sound of your voice. It sounds so weak and painful she almost sure it’s not real. That is until she turns around and her eyes lock onto your bloodied face. If her heart didn’t ache at the sight of your broken and burned body, she would have jumped for joy. She was utterly ecstatic that she finally found you, but the fact that you look to be in excruciating pain buries that feeling deep down.
“I’m here Y/N. I found you.” Her eyes well with tears as she squats down in front of you, taking your shaking hands in hers. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to get you some help, you'll be okay, I promise.” 
The rest of the team finally makes their way over to the two of you and Natasha is the first to speak. “Wanda, we need to get them onto the ship before they lose any more blood, do you think you could get them there?” Wanda nods as she gently begins to lift you, never taking her eyes off of yours. The walk back to the quinjet is both quiet and heartbreaking, but every one of those around you are relieved they got to you when they did. Steve points to one of the beds for you to be placed and motions for their on board doctor to rush to your side. 
As the doctor begins to work, Wanda sits down in a chair next to your bed and grabs onto your hand. “I will never let you out of my sight again.”
————
Part 6
Feedback is always appreciated
145 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 4 years
Text
Hey everyone it's been a while. I apologize for the year and a half/two year absence but my life has honestly been super chaotic and so much has happened so I honestly forgot about this account. That being said, I found my file of ALTM Part 5 and am planning to continue and finish it by the end of this week depending on how work goes. I got a new job that's 10 hours overnight 4 days in a row so it's a little hard to find energy but I promise to actually finish it soon. I've also gone through a few losses and heartbreaks so my mental health wasn't at it's best either. Anyways, I hope you guys will end up enjoying Part 5 and I can't wait to get back into writing as I've missed it.
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
bxckywrites · 5 years
Text
A Little Too Much // Part 4
Series Pairing - Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Warnings - Language (its kinda a lot sorry), death, blood, kind of grotesque murder, talk about setting someone on fire (idk why I put it but I felt it worked), if there’s anything else let me know 
Word Count - 1,444 (another short one I’m sorry, I just lost ideas for this part)
Part Summary - Continuation of Reader’s past mission as well as the kidnapping that occurred in Part 2
Tumblr media
gif is not mine
A/N - Hey guys! I’m sorry this part is soooooo super late but I hope y’all enjoy it anyways. I’m also sorry for how bad this part is, I lost the notebook that had all my summaries/explanations/how I wanted to write all the parts so I had to kind of start at a weird place.
Part 3
————
The moment you enter the room, you knew something was off. When you left there were 3 bodies, but now there’s only two. Both completely still and pale as a ghost. You grip the rope in your hand even tighter as you drag the chairs in slowly behind you.
You don’t even look around the room and trust that your instincts are right by telling you someone wants you to stay distracted.
As soon as you set the chairs where you want them, you feel a presence behind you. You turn around and use the rope like a whip and knock the knife out of the man’s hand. “Did you really think you could sneak up on me like that?”
————
You’re dragged towards the bed and thrown on top of it before being strapped down, barely fighting them in the process. “Could you please loosen the straps? They don’t need to be so fucking tight.”
“Now now Y/N, There’s no need for that kind of language.”
You can’t help but laugh, “there’s no need for half the shit I do and yet I still do it, so instead of being a prick, why don’t you just loosen the straps a little.” You continue to tug against your restraints and manage to loosen them enough for circulation. The monitors next to you display different parts of the body, including one for the head, chest, arms, and legs, which you realize are there to see how their experiments are going to affect you in different areas. “Ah, just like old times huh?”
“Indeed, except this time you will not escape, nor will you disobey me again.” Strucker makes his way up to the table and leans over so that your faces are mere inches apart, “if you dare disobey me I will skin you alive only to stitch you back together and set you on fire, do you understand?”
The smile on your lips falters slightly as you nod once, “roger that you smug bastard.” Regardless of his threats, you begin to develop an escape plan and memorize your surroundings. At first it seemed as though there was only one exit, but then you noticed a door further back that has a keypad attached. Even if it didn’t lead outside, you still had a place to hide until you could come up with a better plan.
One of the doctors grabs your arm softly and sticks a needle into your elbow. The purple liquid inside the bag attached to the tube begins its slow descent towards your veins.
It doesn’t take long for you to realize what exactly is in that bag.
————
The man looks more annoyed than you thought was possible and sneers, “why must the runts always be so difficult?”
“You’re one to talk.”
He lets out a low growl and lunges at you. You side step him with ease and a bored look on your face. “Predictable.” He lunges again, this time towards your legs. Your reflexes don't kick in fast enough and you let out a yelp as you fall to the ground with his body pressed on top of yours.
You don't stay underneath him for long, wrapping your legs around his midsection in a way that lets you switch your bodies so now you are the one on top. “That was a good one I'll give you that, but as much as I love these little games I have somewhere to be.” You grab a knife from the table behind you and, as quick as light, slit the man's throat.
There’s no other sounds besides the man choking on his own blood as his life drains from his body. You roll off of him and sit in the chair on the other side of the room to assess the situation. There is a lot more blood than you had hoped for and the smell is intense, but you still feel a small sense of comfort as you take in the little details of the room. From the tiny cracks in the faded wallpaper, to the rust marks on the bed frame, and even to the small stains on all the chairs, you almost feel at home.
It doesn’t take long for that feeling to diminish when you realize the reason you came here in the first place, to find the serum. You search every drawer and box until you finally find the 5 bags of thick purple liquid and put them into your bag. 
Taking one last look at the room, you make your way towards the pick up zone.
————
“The process shouldn’t take more than a few minutes so long as you relax.” The doctor who put the needle into your arm says as she looks towards the screen that is lit up with an outline of an arm. The screen changes to show red veins throughout the arm that slowly begin to turn a deep shade of purple as the serum starts to flow through your veins. As much as you missed having your enhanced abilities, you refused to let the serum get any further than your elbow before you find a way to rip the needle out of your elbow.
“What in the hell?”
Strucker makes his way to the screen that is now flashing an error sign before turning to look down at you. If he was stupid he would think the needle had just fallen out, but he knew you better than that. “You stupid little weasel. If I didn’t know any better I would think you enjoy being tortured.” His hand came down hard against your cheek, making you taste blood almost instantly. Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and your eyes towards the ceiling.
His head makes its way above you as he stares you down. “You think I don’t know you tore it out?” He bends down to pick up the fallen needle. “Dr. Jordan, I want you to put this back in a make sure it is impossible for them to remove it or it’s your neck, am I clear?”
The doctor just nods her head once before grabbing the needle out of his hand and placing it into your elbow once more. You grit your teeth at the feeling of the serum entering your system once more as you realize how little time you have left. If the serum makes its way towards your brain, you lose all hope of getting out of here as sane as possible. You take one more look at Strucker before using every ounce of strength you can muster to break free from your restraints. Yanking the needle out once more, you detach the tube that connects it to the bag of serum and, like a dart, send it flying into Strucker’s eye.
He lets out an animalistic growl before ripping the needle out and lunging towards you. Unfortunately for him, you’ve memorized his attacks and step to the side fast enough to send him into a screen face first. You quickly grab a scalpel off a side table and slice it along the doctor’s throat, instantly killing her and grabbing the gun she had been going for. Raising the gun, you aim at Strucker and shoot him in the back, sending him to his knees, before shooting the other guards and doctors with incredible speed.
You finally turn the gun back on the man who set out to ruin your life once more and aim straight for his head. Without hesitation, you fire, killing him instantly.
Throwing the gun to the side, you begin to hear a faint beeping noise. You turn back to the table you had just been laying on and notice a small box next to the hand of one of the guards you killed just seconds prior. Making your way up to the table, you look closer and notice a small timer. It takes you mere milliseconds to realize it was an explosive and that you were in serious trouble. You turn towards the main door and begin to sprint. The beeping gets faster and louder as you force your legs to go faster than ever, but it’s not fast enough as you hear a deafening explosion and heat engulfing your back as the flames and debris catch up to you. You let out a scream as you fall to the ground. The ceiling begins to collapse as you cry out for help. You cry and scream as loud as you can. The burning sensation gets stronger as your flesh begins to cook slowly. The last thing you feel is concrete falling down and pinning you to the floor.
————
Part 5
Feedback is always appreciated
134 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 5 years
Note
Sweetheart I’m sorry to hear that your life has been pretty hectic. I understand completely ❤️❤️
It’s all good! I’m just grateful my passions for certain things are starting to come back and now I finally have time to actually write again and stuff.
- Belle
0 notes
bxckywrites · 5 years
Note
How have you been?❤️❤️
I’ve been doing okay. There was a lot of stress my last semester of my senior year because I had a lot going on personally that effected my schooling, then I got into a relationship with the man I’ve been in love with since junior year, and finally I graduated and applied for college. I actually start orientation Friday, and then my first official class is scheduled to start the 3rd of September. I’m still stuck at the job I hate, but I have no choice except to stay since I don’t have another job yet, and my boyfriend left for basic yesterday, so I’m a little drained emotionally and mentally. Anyways, besides the few road bumps and stresses I’m facing, I’ve gotten back my inspiration for writing which makes me extremely happy because I’ve missed it so much. However, I think for right now I’m going to put all my writing focus on ALTM until I’m comfortable enough to work on other things.
Anyways, enough about me, I hope you’re doing well and are happy!
- Belle
0 notes
bxckywrites · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Im actually kind of excited for y'all to read this 💕
(small word count because i just started adding to what i already had)
Update
Hey hi hello,
So it's been such a long time since Ive posted anything on here and I sincerely apologize. But I've officially graduated high school and now I'm a freshman in college so as you can tell life is kind of crazy right now. That being said, sometime soon I'm going to get back into writing again because I miss it so freaking much. When I do so the next story you guys will be getting is ALTM part 4 and M A Y B E part 5 as well. It will probably take about another week or two before I actually do post another one but I just have a lot on my plate right now so I haven't had a lot of time to focus. Anyways, I miss you all and for those of you who stuck around, thank you.
- Belle 💕
3 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 5 years
Text
Update
Hey hi hello,
So it's been such a long time since Ive posted anything on here and I sincerely apologize. But I've officially graduated high school and now I'm a freshman in college so as you can tell life is kind of crazy right now. That being said, sometime soon I'm going to get back into writing again because I miss it so freaking much. When I do so the next story you guys will be getting is ALTM part 4 and M A Y B E part 5 as well. It will probably take about another week or two before I actually do post another one but I just have a lot on my plate right now so I haven't had a lot of time to focus. Anyways, I miss you all and for those of you who stuck around, thank you.
- Belle 💕
3 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 6 years
Photo
Tumblr media
335K notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 6 years
Text
I promise to finally update some stuff soon :-)
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 6 years
Text
Hey,
So...it's been a hot minute since I've posted anything. I'm really sorry for going mia for so long (my last post was sep 24th yikes), but life has just been so freaking stressful. I'm struggling to keep good grades so I can graduate in June, my job has cut my hours way too much and now I have to try and get them to go back up which is difficult when your manager is petty as fuck when one of us ladies gets sick, and speaking of getting sick, that's been a constant for me since September. My life is just a mess at the moment so I've been trying to keep my focus on fixing it. That being said, I should be back with an update to ALTM by October 11th/12th (the masterlist has been updated), and another story/one-shot/drabble should be posted mid next week or sometime after. I really apologize for the long ass wait, but thank you to everyone who has stuck with my incompetent ass.
On a side note, thank you for 100 followers! I'm so fucking grateful and lucky and I love y'all ❤️
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 6 years
Note
How are you??❤️💜❤️💜
To be honest? This is probably the worst state I’ve been in since like 2013. i feel bad for venting like this but I also feel like you guys deserve a bit of an explanation?? My mental state has been rapidly decreasing since I started work and started my senior year around the same time. The shortest I’ve worked/will work (that I know of right now) will be 22 hours. Plus I’m at school from 7:30 to 2:30, 3:30 if you count how long I have to wait to get on the bus and get home. It doesn’t help that my absolute dumb ass decided on time consuming and breakdown inducing classes such as Chemistry & Algebra II. I thought I would have been able to do better and handle my schedules better but I feel like I’m going to go insane. Nothing is bringing be joy anymore and everything feels like a chore. It’s gotten to the point where if I’m not at school, I’m at work. I don’t have Saturdays or Sundays off, except the 30th because they moved that shift between the 1st and 2nd, and every weekend I have 8 hour shifts both days. I literally wake up, get ready, go to work, lose my mind and have 10+ breakdowns for 8 hours, come home, eat, do chores, do laundry and homework, and go to bed. I’m so exhausted and ready to just give up. I feel like utter shit all the time and on top of that, I now have a cold and my blood sugar levels are acting up. I could honestly just use a break from life. Just one week to relax and calm down and not want to scream and cry and punch something with every breath. I’ve been so angry lately because I’m frustrated at so many things but right now it’s mainly about my mental health getting so bad and it’s caused me to lash out at people who don’t deserve it. I don’t know I’m just not in a good place and I don’t know how to get myself out of it.
-------------
I’m sorry for the depressing message, but I needed to rant I guess.
2 notes · View notes
bxckywrites · 6 years
Text
Tumblr media
*NOT ALTM Part 4, but a request someone made*
I'm pretty sure this is going to end up being my longest "story" yet. I'm only like half way through it, maybe a liftle more...
1 note · View note
bxckywrites · 6 years
Note
Take care of yourself first. You matter so much more than a fanfic
Sometimes it’s just hard because one of my coping mechanisms has always been writing (another is making video edits), but I’ve just been stuck in this rut from school starting back up, my job making my anxiety issues 1000 times worse, shitty weather, and now a foster kitten that thinks it’s okay to be aggressive. I keep wanting to write, but I can’t find time or whenever I do have time I can’t get the words from my head to the “paper”. Idk, I just feel really bad for being so inactive.
2 notes · View notes