bykimbo - Tumblr blog

[bykimbo]

Pigeonholes and labels

I’ve always hated labels. I don’t want them for myself and I refuse to apply them to others (whenever possible). I dislike pigeonholes, stereotypes, shoeboxes; call them what you will the idea of defining anyone, let alone myself, as “exactly this”, or “just that” is abhorrent. But... 

Other people seem to like them and use them a lot, which makes you on the outside of a lot of stuff. It makes finding your tribe hard. And no, I don’t just want to be part of Group A, Gang B; I’m no much of a joiner either.  I’m using tribe very loosely here. But if you post about a topic that interests me I want to feel like I can be part of the discussion. 

You put a tag on that it’s for this particular bunch of people then I’m immediately excluded if I don’t self-label that way. Why would you want to do that? Why aren’t you interested in what other people who are interested have to say? I get that maybe the idea is to focus attention on people with a shared experience. Especially if that group’s taken a lot of flak from “outsiders”. But by making yourselves and others... well, “other”, aren’t you making it worse? 

In over sixty years the only label I’ve ever really taken to myself is “massive introvert” and even that’s just because sometimes I feel a need to explain my responses and it’s the simplest way that other people get. I don’t really think my brain is that easy to categorise, but when I was younger it was the only label in common parlance and it is still easily understood. But I watch other friends who use the same tag and they do many things I’m not comfortable with and behave in ways I never could... so even if we’re both right, it’s such a broad group that doesn’t really tell us as much as we think. 

Do you have a label that works for you? Are you more comfortable in a box? Maybe if I understood that point of view my own would gain some clarity. 

[bykimbo]

Wandered back into Tumblr for the first time in months, if not years, and the first thing I see is this. And it’s fabulous. 

Hi. I want to write novels. I cant seem to write said novels. Any advice? (Please dont bully me for my sentence structure I've been drinking only way I was gonna be brave enough to ask you this)

Useful things to remember :

Nobody else is going to write it for you.

Write smaller things first. (You wouldn't expect someone's first run to be a marathon.)

It's okay to mess up. Just write. Think about learning a musical instrument, or a martial art. There's usually a lot of practice involved before you get competent let alone good. Writing a novel is going to be like that.

Your first few novels may not be any good either and that's okay. The first pancake you make is normally a disaster as well.

You don't have to know everything about what you're writing before you start. You need room enough to imagine and to invent. But you need to know what the story is about and what it's for and a sense of what happens.

[bykimbo]

Decompression and the usefulness of words

I’ve just remembered I have a blog. I have a place where I can write stuff and share thoughts and get things out of my brain and onto the page. This is a good thing. I should do this.  I will do this. 

This is not a resolution. Resolutions are a target to miss, a set-up to fail. This is an idea. An idea is a thing to be explored and enjoyed. You can’t fail an idea. 

[bykimbo]

Who’s a good boy then?

A friend on FB shared this article from the NYT  on why we talk to our dogs (if you don't have a paid subscription, this will be one of your limited free articles this month, just so you know) and it touches on a subject I've given a fair bit of thought to over the years, at least obliquely. My friends know I'm not wild about the anthropomorphism of pets.  We all know it's a personal quirk, and I'm not judging them for doing it, just saying it's not my cup of tea. Some of my good chums happily post dog news in the first-canine-person, and these are popular and fun I am sure. You know, if you like that sort of thing. I find it... creepy.  That's probably kinda weird, but I just do.  So on the back of this piece about us talking to our dogs, maybe it's time to talk about why. First of all, I have no problem with us talking to our dogs, in the various ways as described in this article. I did it all the time with my dogs, I do it with friends' dogs, I do it with strangers' dogs. Just this morning I said hello to a passing strange dog. Not the owner the dog, the dog. I get it. I had conversations with my dogs on all sorts of subjects, not just their behaviour or the current activity, and using language I never expected them to understand.  I did expect them to get the tone of voice though. Dogs are bright, they'll pick up on if you're praising or scolding, they'll get the key words in a long sentence telling them exactly how bad they've been and they'll appreciate the tone of doting praise as you scratch behind their ears for being the bestest boy ever, who's a very good boy den? But the thing is, when I'm saying all that, it's just as internal monologue made louder.  I'm still really talking to me. When I suggest "yes, you like that don't you? yes you know how clever you are", I'm not pretending to read the dog's mind, or hear their voice in my head; I'm interpreting their canine body-language and taking a pretty good guess.  We know how dogs behave, they do consistently doggy things in predictably doggy ways.   So I have two problems with the first-person-canine thing, one is touched on here, as I say; it's the dressing up of one's personal monologue as something external, and then sharing it publicly. It's taking an internal process and externalising it.  Now there's times, I'll grant you, when that probably should be done more - but a discussion of mental health and openness around depression and anxiety is probably a deeper conversation for another day - telling me how you think your dog feels about you, and pretending the dog said it? Not so much. And you know how people do that? They make the dog refer to "my human". Which is weird, because they never refer to Fred, or Spot, or Wrath of Mars as "my dog", they use their names.  But apparently they don't think they deserve that level of respect from their dog. Oh, unless their dog calls them Poppa, or something, which shows you a whole other aspect of their relationship I didn't need to know (don't get me started on fur-babies). The second part is, it disrespects the damn dog. By taking a dog, any dog, and anthropomorphising it, they make it less of a dog.  They take a fantastic beast, a clever, loyal, loving animal and they strip away a little of it's dogness, and apply a veneer of pseudo-humanity. They make it a sub-human, not a super-dog.  Dogs do dog things, and they do them better than anything else on the planet. They are absolutely the best at being dogs. And a dog is a remarkably fine thing, to be celebrated in all its canine glory. It doesn't need a costume, or a speech bubble or pretend anything... it's a dog. So talk to your dog. Your dog will enjoy it. You will enjoy it. Just please don't tell me what it said back. You don't agree, I know, it's fine. Personal quirk. This is just me over-sharing, but at least I'm not blaming it on the dog.

[bykimbo]

A friend sent a picture of the rhubarb crumble he was enjoying, so I took a shot of my lunchtime salad in a fit of want-crumble-ness, but you know what? It looks Fab and tastes pretty damn good. . . #workday #lunch #salad #notcrumble (at Boots) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByFlwv-gAot/?igshid=1f4jnnh3mbuu6

[bykimbo]

Thank the Lord I have coffee. Of course, this means from now on all screw-ups and gibberish are entirely my fault 😏 . . . . #coffee #latestart #morningoff #chores https://www.instagram.com/p/ByAHJ-2H4iX/?igshid=xgmq7utv50yv

[bykimbo]

Brexit in the South West

Over half-a-million people in my area voted for a party so hollow it only has a name, with no actual policies; a collection of wealthy whites who won't say how they're funded. A group made up of the rats who ran from the sinking ship of UKIP, under the aegis of the person who drove the ship onto the rocks in the first place.  

That man is transparently and consistently as slippery as an eel. How can a single person look at him and think, yes, that's the guy I want steering my future. Him and a bunch of people like him are for sure the best option to ensure me and my hard-working chums get the best possible outcome.  

I don't have a problem with the fact that he went to Dulwich College or worked as a commodity broker, but I'm almost certain that those are things that his main voting base would hold against him if they'd bothered to become aware.  I don't care that he has a record of tax avoidance, because that's not the same as tax evasion, and everyone's allowed to minimise their bills in any legal manner available, but I do wonder if the majority of the 600,000 plus who voted Brexit in the SW would really feel the same way. 

I’d be willing to bet a fair chunk of change that the vast majority of the people who voted in this absurd party did so for one reason only: the name. It was marketing genius. No policies, no politicians anybody could name - bar the cardboard cutout at the helm - no morals, no ethos, no standards, just a single issue attention grabbing title.  And it worked.  I despair. 

[bykimbo]

There is no situation that can’t be improved by a bad pun 

[bykimbo]

Just a #sandwich for dinner tonight, nothing fancy. You know, your bog standard hot roast Cornish asparagus with Boy Laity cheese and heritage tomatoes. And a glass of champagne. . . #cornishasparagus #Cornish #realfood #boylaity #shoplocal #foodporn #cheese #camembert https://www.instagram.com/p/BxvROouFHvn/?igshid=76npewytt3if

[bykimbo]

Thank goodness for this commute. Stopped on the way home, nipped down by the docks, and presto. Brain cleared. . Incidentally, my branch is looking for a pharmacist, and at home our surgery needs GPs. What does your commute look like? . #cornishlife #spitbeach #pharmacy #pharmacist #community #willyoubemygp @bootsuk @boots.jobs @nhsenglandldn (at Cornwall) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxsuBPmHqpe/?igshid=19kgnyyyslxlt

[bykimbo]

@designroomc produce such lovely materials that you'll want one in your home. @da_bara_bakery_cafe the brochure I never knew I needed till I saw it. That's excellence right there. 😆 . . . #printdesign #marketing #artwork #classic #minimalist #thingofbeauty #imakemyownentertainment https://www.instagram.com/p/BxpnytCAras/?igshid=1ir99e2xmetm6

[bykimbo]

Life saver. I've been basically living on kitkats and hula hoops during the Great Leak Debacle as I like to think if it (kidding, made it up just now) so desperate for some real, fresh food. Massive Thanks to @freskcafe for going above and beyond amd putting together a lush vegan salad box for me despite having cleared down and cashed up! . . . #realfood #shoplocal #villagelife #cornishlife (at Mevagissey) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxnBmdnHEAf/?igshid=1524uordqqsnx

[bykimbo]

Ah yes, the gentle sound of #powertools to accompany a relaxing weekend. I think I preferred Show of Hands. 😉 . . . #plumbing #leak #leakypipe #rescue #grateful (but!) 😂 (at Mevagissey) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxmwAf4H2Js/?igshid=wfy5vw5dnevj

[bykimbo]

Not ideal weather for an outdoor venue, but with a view like that, and Show of Hands on stage, who cares? 😍 . . #livemusic #Minack #Cornwall #showofhands (at The Minack Theatre) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxlOtkYgTu-/?igshid=70jkvgp3w0fm

[bykimbo]

That's a first. #snail #onmycar #doorhandle #wildlifebykimbo takes a new turn 😉 (at Mevagissey) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxVC6dhAHhS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19twkjmkklmeq

[bykimbo]

If you really need to go into work on your #DayOff then at the very least you deserve #lunchout , right? #treat #no-washing-up. (at The New Inn) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxVCkW0gjJe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=193f9s95hx10m

[bykimbo]

Picked up a pair of #wine #glasses for a bargain price today. Only polite to test drive them, right? #merlot #wineoclock #fridaynight https://www.instagram.com/p/BxSwNIBAkvO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mptugaoqzr43