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the cat game of my dreams.

wallpapers // prints // shirts and stuff    

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A failure!

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CAN'T RELATE

⸻ tw: rant, unrelatability, trauma, family issues

sometimes I wonder if

the trauma I hold is

even my own.

I'd hear books of stories

of pain and suffering

lingering in the

m e m o r y

of my brain that echoes

into feelings that just appear.

I'm

not

a victim

of any form of despair;

a healthy body with

decent intellect to

actually function

in a society that doesn't accept

outliers.

it's funny how I acquaint

with people who only had

problems on their shoulders

(I hear them, cursing the people around them

...I wondered if I were one of them)

I can't join every conversation

because there wasn't a place

for a boring average person

who is grateful for their life, their family,

their achievements

to join a group of

kindred spirits

who shared

their worries

their tears

their pains

(because I don't have

such things)

I lie to myself -

you must have something like them

you think of something that they understand

you realize it's futile and never joined in

(even if you badly want to - you could never join in)

because my frustrations

are nothing compared to their scars

my emotions are still bareable to breathe with

( y e t I a m c o n s t a n t l y s u f f o c a t i n g )

and guilt overwhelms me when I try to speak

" my parents are unreasonable "

(my parents and I get along just fine)

" I can't stand their unjustified behavior "

(there wasn't anything to be mad at in the first place)

" God I want to rant about it "

(I want to join in too, but my life is not like yours for you to understand and even if I try to talk- I'll end up ruining your mood. If I dare speak I'd be a thorn on the field of cotton buds blossoming in the spring. An annoying fly that buzzes around as you try to let out the frustrations you held on)

and I could only say repetitive phrases

I've always said in the past,

because I can't comfort a broken person

who seeks for someone to understand them

I can't be that person - because I'm not like that

and I just watch at the sidelines

as other people support each other, and I clap

I'm happy for them

because I knew they deserved

the love

and care

they could never have before

(but I cradle myself to sleep

knowing that nothing good comes my way)

- an average person has nothing

going for them, only a flimsy

existence that dissipates quickly

and the negative part of my brain

hopes they keep suffering. - that

they live in sorrow so I can

elevate my worth more than I could

ever imagine - thoughts my morality

despises for existing ( and I berate

myself for even thinking)

in the silence on my own;

they frolicked together

across meadows and oceans of

endless venture - and I just watch

because they never invite me

because I am not like them

because even if I'm considered a friend

I'm just a person they brought in

because I was there when a group

of people came together and

deemed each other friends

and I'm stuck alone again and again,

seeing people get closer and closer as I

stand there eternally alone - watching watching

watching watching watching their moments play out

I'm stained with envy as I could never take the chance

just wanting to be part of their world - their life story

because I'm always sick on living in my own tiny bubble

endlessly lamenting my flaws until I crack myself

down over and over again - because no one ever

notices the fool that tries to fit in - the average

wallflower listening the same tales of tragedy

same problems, same worries over and over

like a chant that just brings out my insecurities-

(I d o n t w a n t t o b e l i k e t h a t)

....

I try to find meaning in my life

because no one else could

no one knows my story

and it's funny that even I

faked being apathetic

just to not have my identity

be shattered

as I listened to another story

that will never be like mine

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Character colorwheel from twitter

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I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

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Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

“Here, will this rice cake cracker sate your dark passanger?”

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It's my 6 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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Uhwhat i forgot when i made my tumblr fr

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Cooking With Tumblr: "Why Are We Here? Just to Suffer?" Edition

Tumblr, I come to you as a woman on the verge of fulfilling her destiny. Thanks to a viral poll by @relientk, the newest meme on Tumblr is vanilla extract, specifically the act of using too much of it. Pure vanilla extract is, of course, expensive and also strong in small amounts. Who among us has that much vanilla extract on hand and is foolish enough to attempt this?

Me.

For personal reasons, I have a lot of vanilla extract in my apartment. It was here before the meme, and it will be here after. I had all the ingredients for the horrible poll cake except for milk, so I went out and bought some milk. It is three in the morning and very cold outside. Why am I doing this now instead of waiting for the poll to finish? Two reasons: the first being how fickle the internet in burning through memes, and the second being that five days gives my better judgement enough time to convince me not to do this.

Will God stop my sinful hands before the cake makes it into the oven? Let's find out!

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depression creature

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Give Logan Sanders A Classroom Episode

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Credit of quote goes to  @creative-lampd-liberties. I’m not crediting main blog for direct sourcing reasons.

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It’s the gang 🌈

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HAPPY NEW YEARRR! <3

2023 SPEEDRUN LESSGO

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She saw her moment and got glossed up for it

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no one picked him (cont.)