c0nsp1racysblog - Tumblr blog

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i was born for loving you

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i've started reading tvl and no amount of posts telling me there's a "huge tonal shift" could have prepared me for this HUGE TONAL SHIFT this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read it genuinely goes like:

louis, narrator of iwtv: as i wandered the streets of paris, i wished most of all for death. i had called to god, to satan, anyone, to find meaning in it all. but for an evil creature such as myself there is no place in this world. there can be no love where this evil lies. it was as though a veil separated me from all that could be good and righteous. i did not deserve to love and be loved in return, not by claudia, lestat, armand. to attempt it would be a sisyphean task, a fools tale. and yet...... the need for hole from armand was so great. greater was only the need for........ living human blood.

lestat, narrator of tvl: hey guys, my name is lestat, you may know me because i'm really hot and sexy. english isn't my first language so sorry if i make any mistakes!! okay here's my story: after rotting beneath the earth for decades, my hot and sexy body has finally risen from the ground. i used to be depressed, but now i'm slutting it up again in the 20th century! first thing i did was get some (hot and sexy) new clothes and then wore them while riding my (hot and sexy) motorcycle and listening to bach on my sony walkman. while i was watching this super niche indie film (you've probably not heard of it) "apocalypse now" i realized that i'm so evil that i shouldn't exist. but then i realized what could make me deserve to live on this planet: rock n roll music.

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Wamen

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day out

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is it possible for voltron fans to repent. or is it over for me

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Reasons to Love Timber:

Crazy even for a vigilante x Most un-civilian civilian

Same trauma different trauma responses

Tim dating someone even the Bats are scared of

Buy 1 Timbern get 1 QPR with Darla Aquista free

The objective hilarity of Tim being surrounded by superpowered men in spandex punching people out without a gay awakening, but Bernard rolls up his sleeves and takes out one (1) guy and Tim's third eye is wide fucking open

One of them says something insane like "I hacked into the Pentagon once" or "My uncle Freddy taught me to drive. Now I know stuff like how to survive swerving off a bridge." and the other says some variation of "I'm so in love with you" or "Marry me" or "You wanna get a room?"

Neither of them holding back from taking potshots at each other

The fact that Tim knew Bernard before he knew Jason or Damian

MILF and DILF lover Bernard Dowd vs. Cannot-stop-collecting-parental figures Tim Drake Fight

Bruce trying to shovel-talk Bernard and him just panicking and blurting "Smash" on impulse and both Tim and Bernard dying of embarrassment while Bruce is just confused

Tim Drake, seasoned vigilante, dating a civilian who can not only whoop his ass, but will do so upon request

Bernard being the most kidnapped man in Gotham and Tim just having to deal with that every week, to the point where he just incorporates it into his schedule

The two of them being the most insane people in the room and conversing about something that seems normal to them but scares the fuck out of everyone else in the room

The two of them stargazing on the tallest gargoyle in Gotham before writing their initials into the base with Sharpie

Louis Grieve Trio being a literal love triangle (Tim was dating Steph, Darla had a thing for Tim, Bernard had a thing for Darla and also apparently for Tim, who apparently had a thing for him too. Also, Darla kissed Bernard on the cheek once.)

High school Bernard creating the wildest theories about Batman and Robin, while Tim refutes the idea that they even exist but then doing a bunch of stupid public stunts as Robin just to watch Bernard melt down the next day at school

Trying to toss popcorn into each other's mouths while watching a movie and absolutely losing their shit when they manage to land one

Both of them having to deal with a massive amount of comphet

Tim having no care for his safety or weakened immune system and Bernard still-scarred-by-Darla-dying-in-his-arms patching him up with a haunted look in his eyes that makes Tim reconsider being so reckless this time around

Best Friends Both Secretly See Each Other As the Sidekick

Both of them being skater boys but in different directions- Tim loving skateboarding and Bernard loving figure skating. They find a compromise in rollerskating and spend afternoons trying not to fall flat on their butts and pecking each other on the lips as they help each other up

"Bernard, I think I have a crush on you... What do you mean we've been dating for two months?"

"What do you mean those kisses were romantic? I thought this was a French thing? ... We were in Paris for a week, give me a break!"

Tim dating the one person Jack Drake hated with a passion

Dana laughing hysterically when Tim tells her he's going out with Bernard Dowd- yes, the same guy who used to flirt with her when he invited him over to lunch- and then fighting off laughter again when Bernard stage-whispers to her that he'd be willing to leave Tim in a heartbeat if she ever changes her mind (while Tim goes redder by the second)

Trying to summon a ghost and bickering about who will chicken out first before they get startled by a loud noise and both run out at the same time

Epic videogame battles

The Batfam gearing up to threaten Bernard because he's an ex-cultist and organ seller and being shocked when Bernard threatens them back because Bruce objectively sucks at parenting, Jason tried to murder Tim once, Damian tried to murder him more than once and listen, maybe they won't stay together forever, but Tim will always be his best friend, and anyone who messes with his friends is On Sight

"Uh, this theory seems a little crazy, even for you." "No, no, hear him out."

Bernard secretly holding a resentment toward Tim and Darla for leaving him to go be vigilantes because he never truly moved on from Louis Grieves and it hurts to know they were off doing more important things while he relived the gang war over and over again

Both Tim and Bernard being touch-starved but Tim being touch-averse (if you held him he might just fall apart) and Bernard being touchy (please hold him to keep him from falling apart)

Tim frantically trying to hide his secret identity while Bernard knows and just trolls him the whole time

Achilles and Patroclus-coded dynamic

Tim having polaroids of all his old school friends (Ives, Ariana, Danny, etc.) and then stopping by Bernard's every once in a while to run his fingertips across the edges and notice the differences in his features- not just physical aging, but how the edge of his smile used to be a lot smugger, the light in his eyes a little dimmer now

Metalhead Tim vs. ABBA enthusiast Bernard

Tim spending days poring over a case before Bernard casually walks in and looks over his shoulder at the plans. He offhandedly mentions something and then it all clicks into place for Tim, who kisses him on the lips before running out to take down the baddie

One of them going on a longwinded rant beside a conspiracy board absolutely covered in red string and photographs. Everyone in the room turns to their boyfriend with an exclamation of "Uh... Do you wanna stop him- ookaayyyy." When they find the other just staring at them with the widest heart eyes, actively adding in input every time the other stops to take a breath.

Darla finding out the two of them are dating and squawking indignantly that this better not mean that they're gonna turn her into a third wheel now before forcibly crashing all of their dates (neither of them mind because this means it'll be easier to keep her safe and keep her from dying on them again)

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how it feels when i start talking about voltron at the function

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revealing myself as a tgcf fan + inspo by a post i saw on tiktok !

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ vld rant

as most fans can agree, the writing truly is one of the show's weakest aspects - especially as the show progresses into it's later seasons.

in specific, i feel the need to draw and call attention to the ways in which relationships are portrayed. naturally, this does include most canon couples (not including hunay, i adore them) but, i really want to focus on the platonic relationships - very specifically, garrison trio and broganes.

during my rewatch, i notice that is quite insinuited that lance and hunk are meant to be very close friends but, this is very rarely actually shown in any way. in fact, there's more meaningful interactions shown between keith and hunk; as keith states hunk is one of the only people he truly respects and admires. but again, both of these relationships are undermined and feel lacklustre in the series.

on the topic of keith, i feel like the dynamic of broganes could have been explored much more and is a missed opportunity. i have spoken on this before but, we only really see a snippet of the two's relationship during season 7 in a flashback episode and . that's really it. most of their interactions get cut short earlier in the show due to the fake clone of shiro - which in general is a plot point which could have been carried out much better.

there is definitely more examples of missed opportunities for interactions between all characters but this is something has been in the back of my mind for a while and i have not yet seen someone outrightly express.

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when your creepy crush is trying to get you out of the closet

do you guys think the cult was homophobic? bc bernard joined them to repress his homosexual tendencies

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SCREENCAP REDRAW OF LANCE! (ft. headcanons because fuck you)

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Robin #147

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Fanon Tim, a mysterious super smart hacker bro on the same level of Oracle, who’s also unhinged, caffeine dependent, morally grey, negative rizz, lowkey has the highest body count of all the bats, and is a badass: and I will watch the crimson blood, leak from you neck

Canon Tim, loser skater boy who plays DnD in his spare time, nap addicted, pulls hella bitches, strict moral code with the bad habit of seeing only black and white, and is also a major badass: woah, that kid is hardcore goth

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i think love is stored in nighttime conversations and “did you eat yet” and books left outside your door and “i waited to watch this with you” and splitting something in half to share and “im proud of you” and folded towels and “you can pick” and heads on shoulders and “you’re right, that was shitty. im sorry” and knocks on doors and “DINNER!” and stupid jokes and “hey i got this for you” and coffee made just right and… there are so many ways people say i love you silently every day over and over again if you only listen

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rereading my own writing is just a constant fluctuation between "damn, girl, you wrote this? (affectionate)" and "damn, girl, you wrote this? (derogatory)"

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Me @ the Bernard haters always 😔