c0untingthec0st

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Taking Risks

Upon googling “risk assessment” I realise that this term comes up in a variety of contexts covering things such as finances, safety in the workplace, emergency management planning and health concerns. Different people, based on their personality, upbringing and experiences fall on a spectrum of being adverse to risks to being like Alex Honnold from Free Solo who climbs challenging rock faces without a harness. 

Where do I fall if I were to take a risk assessment toward life?

Maybe the important question is not the amount of risk I’m willing to take but what am I willing to take risks for in my life?

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The Song “Lay Your Burdens Down” by Tim be Told

Haven’t posted in a while, but as I’ve been having conversations with some friends who are working on a project titled “Imago” where they explore what it means to be human, I came across this writeup and shared it with them because LGBTQ has been a prevalent topic and theme on campus and in our culture. I appreciate the authentic approach Tim takes as he shares his thoughts and his own journey and of course it’s great that the seeds of what he’s processing has yielded fruit through a song. This is one of my favourite quotes from what he wrote:    "The power of the gospel isn’t about scaring people out of hell but healing and restoring people from within. The Christian’s piety is not a result of strict adherence to rules, but the inevitable fruit of a soul that knows it is loved and forgiven by God.” -TIM be TOLD http://timbetold.tumblr.com/post/157435658040/track-10

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2009-10: Gospel Centered Sermons

On the road trip out to Calgary for a Summer Mission Trip, I was introduced to the idea of listening to sermons. Odd enough, I never thought of listening to sermons outside of sunday service, but another staff member and I had many hours on the road together, so she introduced me to Timmy K sermons. I found it amazing that it’s possible that every sermon connects back to the Gospel where we need to respond to Jesus. I realised that through the books I read (Tozer also became a huge hit from that point on) and the sermons I have access to, I am indirectly being discipled by wise godly people. What I learnt started to impact the way I communicated the Gospel with seekers and those I discipled. The Gospel is like a diamond - there are still so many facets in which to discover how it is always good news for us!

On my mission trips to Calgary, East Asia and UVIC, I learnt that it was pivotal to make space to be still before God and that my own growth and personal development came before all the ministry that I could “do for God”. We are God’s primary ministry and it’s only out of what He pours into out lives, do we have things to share with other.

Calgary Project 2008

East Asia Project 2009

Here’s a sermon I listened to yesterday: http://www.gospelinlife.com/he-welcomes-sinners-5603

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2007-08: God’s Faithfulness

Graduation My first year roommate, Kira and floormate Kaleigh. My time living in Rez at UBC was a very formative time; the theme being “Seek to thrive and not just survive”. It wasn’t just about trying to maintain some faith at the end of 4 years but instead, God gave me his heart in seeing people and their need for Jesus. I didn’t have my “ this-is-what-i-will-do-with-the-rest-of-my-life” plan, but I made a commitment to spend the next little while discerning where God would have me. I was convicted by the vision of the Great Commission to make disciples of all nations and wondered why it was so hard to find church communities committed to making disciples the way I saw it happen on campus. I did an apprenticeship program at a church and wanted to learn more. I never thought I would be involved in campus ministry, until September rolled around and I found myself going out to Victoria. That’s a story in itself. God’s faithfulness was the theme as I reflected on my UBC student days and as I embarked on the adventures of pioneering a movement at UVIC. 

The picture below was taken on those early morning commutes out to Victoria on the ferry. “He always provides, sure as the sun will rise” - Caedmon’s Call

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2005-06: The Power of Prayer

On the day of my baptism, I shared about the upcoming Mission Trip that I would be embarking on to visit missionaries and to host some English classes and activities for kids from an unreached people group. It was my first Mission trip. One significant lesson was on prayer. Prayer really is an acknowledgement of dependency on God, which is why prayers of faith is activated in circumstances where we realise we have limited control on things. Beginning with a story about a suitcase; a suitcase filled with bibles. I was asked to pick up a some bibles that was just translated into one of the languages of the unreached people groups to bring to the missionaries. We were suppose to disperse the bibles into the other suitcases, but of course I forgot to do that when we came together as a team the night before. Well, of course the following day when we were checking in, the only suitcase they pull out for inspection is ... mine! So, we all started to get worried and everyone started to pray as the security guards ushered me over to get me to open the suitcase. As I opened it, there they were - the stacks of bibles (so grateful for my aunt who wrapped the bibles as a precaution for me). The security guards rummaged through the suitcase, as the seconds seemed to stretch on forever, and eventually they pulled out my flashlight. “You will have to take out the battery”they asked.  I nodded and did as I was told obediently. They closed the suitcase and off we went. I can resonate with Brother Andrew (author of the book God Smuggler) when he mentions that if God can cause blind eyes to see, he can cause seeing eyes to be blind. The second occasion when I recognised the power of calling out to God in prayer was when we went on prayerwalk. The Spiritual battle that people often talked about became real, because not long into the prayerwalk, we found ourselves almost shouting to have our voices heard, because for some “odd” reason, the stores in the surrounding area was blasting their music. Our pastor asked in faith “God, please silence the music, so that we can pray for this city, in Jesus name!” And immediately, the music stopped. I was shocked. However, afterwards, I wondered why I was skeptical that God could act immediately and how little faith I had in trusting God to work beyond my own abilities. 

Me and my buddy Vanessa on our Mission Trip in 2006

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Remembering...

It’s been over a year since I’ve blogged here. To be precise, my last entry was December 10th, 2014. A few months ago, my pastor spoke on the importance of remembering. We celebrate our birthdays over meals, blowing out candles and giving gifts and presents. We do the same with anniversaries and even national holidays (well, I know Independence Day in the States usually means alot of fireworks. In Canada we just have them every weekend in July down at English Bay). So, what about celebrating or remembering the significant moments of our spiritual journeys? I got baptised 10 years ago at Christmas at my home church in Hong Kong. I was going to school in Vancouver, but decided to return to HK to get baptised because that’s where my immediate and church family was. So, now 10 years, later I thought I would reflect on a few of the significant moments of my spiritual journey. I’m hoping to post entries in the next few days.  “Give praise to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing of him, sing his praises; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory to his holy name;; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgements he pronounced.” Psalm 105:1-5

The day I got baptised. With family from my dad’s side.

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My advice for high school students (and everyone else....)

Doing presentations at high schools on transitioning to college / university is always interesting, because I never know what to expect. Most of the time I just have a crowd of 30 or so teenagers that look like they're "too cool for school" doodling at their desk, occasionally glancing up. On the questionnaire we get them to fill out under the heading "the one thing I am most looking forward to at university / college", the most common answer is "new experiences" and "independence". They're pretty much done with high school and are ready to "spread their wings and soar", metaphorically speaking. So, it's in a warm stuffy classroom in the early afternoon during the final Q and A time, that I'm asked to give my one final piece of advice to these students. I have 10 seconds to gather my thoughts. So I think and pray, hard and quick. This is what I tell them ... 1. Eternity is very long 2. Our lives are very short 3. Invest your life in what matters for eternity There are 3 things that are eternal: 1. God 2. His Word 3. Souls of people Take the time to consider what it means to have a relationship with God - it is the most significant decision you will make in considering who Jesus is and how you will respond to Him. Build your life on the Word of God because it's a firm foundation and will be the compass in that will help you navigate through life. And finally, join God in the Great CO-mission and invest you life in connecting people to the eternal living God. These are the things that are worthy of your time, energy and life. That blew me a away a little, because it came out quite concisely and I also spoke with conviction. I hope I'll see some of these high school students join our movements on campus. I also just hope that many more would choose to invest their lives in the things that matter eternally - because it is totally worth it. He is totally worth it.

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This image caught my attention today. 

I agree.

Consider the things that are worthwhile. Count the Cost. Jump in.  MATT 13:44

Caution: Suffering is inevitable.

(you might as well make it count for something meaningful)

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My new pet ...

that no one seems to be fond of.

So every time I tell people that I got a new pet, they're excited. "ooooh, I want to see! Where is it?" However, the usual response is usually a shocked squeal or "eeeeewwwwww!" To be honest, I didn't intend to keep him as a pet in the beginning, I just happen to find a tupperware container nearby when I discovered him in the corner of my closet. I tried taking care of him by giving him a cucumber, but the cucumber started to get moldy.  I realized that in my efforts to love this new pet, I've implemented a dictatorship where I exert my power over him and it's sad because when I opened the lid of the container today, he didn't want to leave (learned helplessness). It did however give me a chance to take out the moldy cucumber and clean the container while he hung out in the sink.  All this got be thinking about the relationship between POWER and LOVE. I was reading Henri Nouwen's book on leadership today. 

"What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life." - Henri Nouwen - I've had a few opportunities to share the Gospel this week and once again have been telling people that the story of God is a love story. God could've just set the sky ablaze and terrified us to get our attention and then tell us "Get you act together and do what I tell you, or I'll blow you to smithereens!" Well, his wrath (righteous anger) actually calls for him to do that, but in His great mercy he withholds what we deserve. Instead he extends grace and gives us what we don't deserve. He comes in the person of Jesus, who has complete authority over the whole universe, yet he relinquishes his rightful power, becomes finite so that it actually cost him everything to give his life for us. Now that is radical love that gains victory over the temptation of power. 

Lord, remind me often that I'm chosen, holy and dearly loved. Clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Help me to find my security in you so that I would choose to relinquish power as I discover and experience the true freedom in loving you loving others well. AMEN

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Where am I going?

It's been a while since I've taken the bus. Yes, I've become one of those people who drive everywhere, so I'm rusty with my translink knowledge (which bus goes where and which direction I should be going etc). Bus fare has really gone up,  yikes! Not a bad day to experiment though since the weather was spectacular and the sun wasn't going down anytime soon (usually not til almost 9pm these days). So after wandering up and down some streets I took one bus to head west and then had to transfer onto another bus to head south with the destination being the house of the friend I carpooled with to the charity run earlier in the day. What would usually take 20 minutes in a car took 40 minutes by bus, but it slowed me down to listen in (or eavesdrop) into conversations and notice the nuances in the people and the environment around me. A little girl and her mum were on their way to a play date pool party. They were talking to a father who had a visually impaired daughter. They chatted about the weather, the city, kids parties on weekends and such. Interesting.

I got off 3 blocks away from my friends house. A young man who got off in front of me looked puzzled upon exiting the bus. "Are you ok? Do you know where you're going?" I asked (I wasn't even entirely sure where I was going). He hesitated. "It's my second day in Vancouver" So thus my curiosity spring boarded into a conversation spanning 2 blocks. Turns out that he's a student from Ireland who's here with a few friends to find summer jobs. "People here are so nice. Really nice" he commented a few times.

I take for granted that the people in Vancouver are very friendly.

When I arrived at my friend's house, I looked around. My car wasn't there. "hmmm, this is interesting... Did something happen? Did someone move it? Did it get stolen?" Then it dawned on me that I had parked it 20 blocks down the other way because we were in a hurry in the morning and had decided to meet where we were picking up another friend. I have a terrible memory for where I park my car. It's like once I park it, the location of the car slips into an abyss in my brain. So I had to take the bus once again. 

I was getting thirsty and hot at this point, since it's been well over an hour of transiting. Life is hard, you know ;) Anyways, what a pleasant surprise that awaited me. Right where the bus doors opened, were 2 little  girls that greeted me with smiles asking "would you like some lemonade?" Well, how can I turn down these girls who were fundraising for the children's hospital. Apparently one of their neighbors friends had passed away after being ill, and the children's hospital really helped in the process. That's meaningful and inspiring. The lemonade was super refreshing too!

As I look back to the turn of events, I realized that if I had not gone the "roundabout" route I had taken, I would not have overheard the interesting conversation on the bus, met the Irish bloke (who I ended up giving my card to and inviting to come onto campus to meet other students) nor would I have had an opportunity to meet those sweet girls and enjoy that awesome cup of lemonade. 

As some people around me have been asking question about next steps in their future, it makes me think that, like my encounter today, God often has some interesting surprises in store for us. We just take it a step at a time. I often say, if we're abiding in Him, we can't really make a wrong decision, because every decisions would be Christ-centered and we would be motivated out of love for God and love for others. Before, I had found myself asking "what should I do?" a lot, now the harder but more significant question is "how do i abide in you?" which lead to questions like "what's hindering me from yielding to you? What are my fears? my doubts? what am i trusting in more than you?" 

and eventually... i find myself asking more and more 

"so... what do you care about? care to show me?"

So, are you ready to get on the bus?

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I used to listen to this song quite a bit in high school and it would bring me to tears. I prefer just closing my eyes and listening to it without the video and graphics because it's the words of God spoken to my heart.  After going to a Good Friday service, it amazes me that the death of Jesus is remembered by so many people across the globe every year. How many people are remembered on the day that they died, recounting the events leading up to their death? Well, death, where is your sting? Because I know how the story ends… He has risen and He lives and I will be celebrating this Easter Sunday!

Oh Lord, enable me to taste and see the depth of Your love for me to more fully experience a God who is Emmanuel each day that I have breath.

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3 more days before Easter Sunday. One significant lesson I've been learning about prayer this year is that prayer is not so much about getting stuff from God than it is about getting more of God into me. In this case, praying for people has graced me with more of God's heart for those he loves and cares for.

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Progeria

I learned about a rare genetic condition called "Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria Syndrome" - where there are only about 74 known cases in the world. What is it?

Progeria is derived from the Greek words "pro" meaning "before or premature" and "geras" meaning "old age". Children born with this condition age 7-8 times faster than the average individual and on average have the life span of 13 years due to complications with heart conditions or strokes. So, if the child was to make it to high school, their body would be that of a 90 year old. 

The documentary of Hailey Okines, who has this condition provided a glimpse of what it was like for Hailey and her parents. At 4 years old she she began to experience joint pains which are sign of the onset of arthritis. There is a scene where she is shopping for new school for school and though it was challenging to find shoes that would fit (since her body frame is unusually small - equivalent to that of a 2-3 year old even though she was 5) she is looking in the mirror exclaiming in a very cute British accent " Gorgeous fit! It's gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!". She packs her lunch for her first day of school with her mum, including a bag of crisps and pink panther biscuits in her power puff girl lunch box. She is like any other girl, yet, her parents wonder "will she finish school? will she be one of the unlucky ones that doesn't live very long?"

It made me consider a few questions… would I do anything differently if I knew I didn't have very long to live? Would it change my perspective on the things that are stressing me out or consuming my thoughts? Would I make different choices? If I had a child that I knew wouldn't live very long, how would I cope with it? How would I invest my time with that child?

Here's the link to the documentary on Hailey Okines, btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYdg3R9M-1I

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Creating a Home Together

Thank you to friends who have taught me what creating a home together means. We are still learning on the journey as fellow pilgrims :)

"Many human relationships are like the interlocking fingers of two hands. Our loneliness makes us cling to each other, and this mutual clinging makes us suffer immensely because it does not take our loneliness away. But the harder we try, the more desperate we become. Many of these “interlocking” relationships fall apart because they become suffocating and oppressive. Human relationships are meant to be like two hands folded together. They can move away from each other while still touching with the fingertips. They can create space between themselves, a little tent, a home, a safe place to be.

True relationships among people point to God. They are like prayers in the world. Sometimes the hands that pray are fully touching, sometimes there is distance between them. They always move to and from each other, but they never lose touch. They keep praying to the One who brought them together."

- Henri J. M. Nouwen

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Broken

I've been overwhelmed by a reality check recently. Amidst interactions with those who are marginalized in our city through the Love Vancouver initiative in mid-February as well as being at the Justice Conference, it's sobering to realise that our systemic and social issues are not merely statistics and numbers but real lives. There are stories of those who are displaced onto the streets because investors are offering the big bucks to build million dollar condos and commercial complexes. Or those that we shared a meal and hearty conversations with at the "Out of the Cold program" run out of tenth church, who said they appreciate the community they've found themselves amongst on monday nights but don't feel welcomed on sunday mornings because they don't feel like they can fit in. In reality all our lives are less than perfect, stained with dirt and we are dressed in rags in some shape or form. Maybe some of us are just better at hiding it than others. I, for one am just learning what it means to be honest and real with my own rough edges. 

I remember sitting in transit one time, overwhelmed by the challenges people have shared with me and feeling so futile because I couldn't make things better. The image I had in my mind was of picking up shards of broken glass and desperately trying to piece them together, only to find that my hands and fingers were getting cut up. And then there is the One who is the glass blower, offering to bring these pieces together to form new glass jars and bottles or figurines as He is the only One who can reshape and re-create. The pieces aren't thrown out but instead brought together to form something new.

I've been re-captivated by the story of the paralyzed man who was brought to Jesus by his friends recorded in Mark 2. The friends were persistent in bringing him to Jesus and they even went up onto the roof to lower him down. They opened up the roof! Who does that?!? It wasn't up to them to make their friend better, but they would do what it takes to bring him to Jesus. I hope that God would grant me the perseverance to continue to bring people to Jesus trusting that He alone can heal and restore broken lives, mine included.

This season of Lent, I want to be intentional in praying for 40 people God lays on my heart (one a day) as an act of bringing them to Jesus. It's a way of choosing to release them to God, which I hope will be freeing for my soul.

Jesus, teach me how to trust and love you as I invite you to re-create what is broken in me and in those around me.

[c0untingthec0st]

I just supported iCrave Justice on @ThunderclapIt // @p2cUBC Come out to the event FEB 13th @ 5pm at UBC Norm Theatre!

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Presence

I’ve been learning a lot about BEING PRESENT

I’ve realized that what people value significantly in a relationship is when another person is PRESENT. What do I mean by that? I’ve noticed more and more people would go into a restaurant with their friends or significant other and spend most of their time on their phones or iPads. Worst case scenario, they would be messaging each other on what they want to order. They will however, document what they’ve eaten and post it online. Such is the reality of a generation that finds it challenging to “be present”. 

Being engaged in a conversation, to genuinely ask questions and to listen well shows that we value an individual. We don’t need to give advice all the time. Qhat communicates love is our presence. I  believe this all began with our Creator who chose to be present with us. His name is IMMANUEL “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). He gets up close and personal, moving into our neighborhood and befriending us through a radical kind of love.

At Christmas, we remember that He is GOD WITH US. At Easter, we remember that He is GOD FOR US. Each day we have strength and grace to carry on because we know that He is GOD IN US.

He is for us because He came to fight for our cause and even die in our place so that we would taste and experience true freedom. The amazing thing is that each day we can be a part of ushering in His kingdom with the confidence that Christ in us is the hope of glory and He is living through us, making Himself known in this world. (Colossians 1:27)

So today can we ask ourselves the questions… Are we present with the God who is ever-present with us? And will we choose to be present with those around us just as He is present with us? If we actually lived out the presence of God, how will this change our world?

REVIVAL = the presence of Jesus manifested in this world