cacti-on-venus

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66383122

“Would you like to spend the holidays with me?”

Tenna utters the words with calm nonchalance and cheer, just like anything he’d say on air. Or blurts it out more likely because Tenna has no idea what compels him to say it.

Tenna always found himself lonely during the festivities. It might’ve upset him a bit, but the holidays came and went right? Which is why him asking his new best friend and colleague, Spamton G. Spamton, to spend the holidays with him is odd.

or it's a very lonely Christmas season for two people seemingly on top of the world.

-----------------------------------------------------------

okay guys with deltarune releasing i have been having massive spamtenna brainrot so here’s some Christmas angst to start off with

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61221670/chapters/167721667

“He can get fresh air-“ Ford tries, but his brother shuts him down.

“Sitting on the porch doesn’t count, and it hasn’t helped anyone.” He points out, “Go take your triangle on a walk and touch grass.” he nudges Bill’s shoulder, and Bill swats at him, nearly breaking his conman’s mug. Petty old man, kicking him out to enjoy the outdoors, of all things.

They all pause, but eventually Ford clears his throat.

“…Bill?” He asks as he wets his lips. His hands are stuffed in his coat as he looks uncertain. “Do you want to accompany us…?” The words drop like an anvil on Bill’s head.

———————

New billford fic chapter out! I rewrote this entire thing to be more angsty than wholesome than the original draft because I realized there was a ‘it gets worse before it gets better’ tag and instead of removing it I just abided by it

[cacti-on-venus]

Heyyyooo I came up with this billford oneshot idea and I’m wondering if people would be interested in reading it? I’m kind of iffy about whether I want to make it or nah but if anyone here would be interested here’s the Ao3 teaser description!

There are infinite versions of Stanford Pines across the multiverse. There are versions of them that never met Bill Cipher in their lifetime. There are versions of them that knew how to use inter-dimensional portal travel without his assistance at all. There are versions of them that don’t think that a PhD in psychology is a waste of time.

And currently there’s one who did all those things and had been employed at the Theraprism after the Axolotl requested help with one new patient, Bill Cipher, thinking it was a good idea.

It was not. Axie should’ve read more DC Comics.

[cacti-on-venus]

Hiiii I’m wondering whether or not post more on this account since chapters take a lot of time. I’m not entirely sure if people would be interested but I could post scrapped content from chapters, ideas I’ve abandoned, maybe doodles here and there of character scenes? I dunno if people would find that stuff cool

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64515568/chapters/168132868#workskin

“No, no, I completely understand!” The chubby blonde driver says with a snicker “It was hard to get used to at first, but there’s actually a lot of paranormal activity going on in this town!” She adds, looking back at him.

Bill blinks his yellowish eyes, one at a time like a reptile, and with a smile too wide to be natural. “Really? Do tell!” he snickers at this lady's obliviousness.

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61221670/chapters/166485217

Bill has honestly half-fallen asleep at this point, with only his irritated eye open, awaiting the season finale of the Duchess Approves mini-series. He exhales through his nose, his head too heavy to stay up, and he reluctantly rests it on Ford’s shoulder.

There can probably be something said about the way they briefly look at each other as if asking for permission and the slight confusion on Ford’s face, but Bill has never been the overthinker between the two of them and especially not in the state he is now. His mind can only follow the pretentious British dialogue in the show they’re watching.

—————

THE FIC UPDATED COME GET YOUR FOOD. I swear I don’t understand why I make these chapters this long.

[cacti-on-venus]

always torn between "this is fanfiction, it doesn't need to be 100% realistic" and "if i get even a single fact about this obscure thing wrong, i am going to be violently killed with hammers"

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64515568/chapters/165679582

A new fic! Because I can’t stop myself!

Bill Cipher, forced to spend his days in the cosmic therapy jail that is the Theraprism, is convinced anything is better than this.

He had told the Axolotl himself that he could survive (almost) every trial that frilly guppy gave him! He'd jump at any opportunity to prove himself ready for reincarnation if it meant skipping out on the rest of group therapy. So when the Axolotl proposes another trial, Bill takes the bait faster than a starving fish.

Turns out that the Axolotl is very bad at making up trials. Becoming a single parent is surprisingly even harder than therapy, Bill thinks.

--------------------------------------------

Or Bill becomes a wine mom parent to a child called Pyramid Steve and subsequently reincarnated. He hates it but parenthood has no time for that.

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61221670/chapters/165008275

I return to bring you yet another chapter of my humble sad bill with medical trauma fic. Unrelated but I finally understand why Bill destroyed his dimension. Imagine living in a world where everyone is a flat earther despite evidence to the contrary.

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61221670/chapters/161695000

Another chapter of sad triangle man in the Mystery Shack! This time some hanging out with the twins with medical negligence on the side. And like a lot of angst.

[cacti-on-venus]

Another chapter of Billford suffering for y’all. Also the younger pines twins get into an argument. :D

[cacti-on-venus]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61221670/chapters/158685268

CHAPTER 3 IS OUT WOOOOOO

this was a long one. Anywho to anyone who read the previous to chapters…reread them I added more 👀

[cacti-on-venus]

I split the chapters because it was getting too long :/ but Bill’s trauma continues! :D

[cacti-on-venus]

Started actually reading the Book of Bill.

“If I could wish any fate on him: therapy. It would drive him insane.” funny how that turned out, eh?

[cacti-on-venus]

the urge to split a long chapter into shorter ones to update faster vs the urge to write the whole thing in one go, never satisfied with the progress

the two wolf girlies inside me are fighting.

[cacti-on-venus]

My spin on the “bill human redemption fic” but I add more trauma

[cacti-on-venus]

Summary: The voices get LOUDER :D but at least he manages to score a date invite