caillincanteven

[caillincanteven]

signs as people I know

no offence is meant by this!! we all have different experiences with the signs, these are just mine

ARIES

either very obnoxious or very reserved

kind of concerned for you, are you okay?

find it hard to open up to people but when you do it’s like a floodgate

I don’t really know how to talk to you, like at all

TAURUS

very affectionate

kind of awkward and dorky but in the best way

sometimes I feel like you��re too cool for me

you’re insecure but you have no reason to be

GEMINI

the life of the party

volatile

never want to have an argument with you, even if I’m right it’s impossible to win the fight

scared of you

CANCER

passionate!!! sometimes quick to act on emotions

you know what you like and what you don’t, and you aren’t afraid who you tell

so much more supportive and loyal than a lot of people deserve

more talented than you know, you never give yourself enough credit

LEO

pretty self-centred but not in an obvious way

very easily distracted in conversation

talks very fast, a lot of the time I have to focus to take all that you’re saying in

flakey as hell

VIRGO

love you with all my heart but you drive me crazy (and hurt my feelings a lot)

you live up to the stereotype of being organised x1000

you always have a specific idea in mind for something and you will not be satisfied by anything else

good with money

LIBRA

caring and maternal

a bit of a boomer, doesn’t really understand jokes/has bad taste in jokes

very non-confrontational!!!! kind of frustratingly so sometimes

easy to talk to for the most past

SCORPIO

I have very mixed feelings

feel like I will never understand you

mostly really really scared/intimidated by you

don’t know what you’re saying most of the time

SAGITTARIUS

you post WAY TOO MANY pictures of yourself

great fashion sense

kind of a bitch

I never talk to you

CAPRICORN

there’s a lot going on with you a lot of the time

either love being around you or loathe it

you construct drama when there isn’t any, it’s a bit exhausting

very artistic

AQUARIUS

was very intimidated by you when we first met but you’re a total sweetie

either absolutely drop dead gorgeous or adorable and cute

easy to talk to once we get started

can be a bit standoffish

PISCES

seriously the cutest

I get worried you don’t like me, you’re not super good at showing people your soft side

the best taste in clothes, not just following trends but making your own

great dancer

[caillincanteven]

honest opinions of signs based on people i know

aries: either VERY opinionated or not all, awkward, wants to be included but doesn’t know how, full of contradictions, good for a deep and meaningful, good at what they enjoy

taurus: CUTE, reliable, scary when mad, deep but covers it well, talented as hell, humble, so so so pretty, knows how to own a haircut, helped me realise I was bi

gemini: fun at parties, takes arguments way too seriously, forgets about others feelings sometimes, heavy drinker, dresses well, crosses personal boundaries

cancer: my spiritual equal, fiercely protective, knows how to throw down in a fight but will cry after, loves fictional characters more than 99.9% of real people, good at hugs and pep talks

leo: appears confident even when they aren’t, lots of giggles, goes on lots of tangents, knows how to be serious when need be, somewhat hard to pin down, tries not to talk criticism personally but does a lot

virgo: picky, judgemental, very fun when they let themselves be, firecracker of a temper, knows how to be spiteful, struggle with expressing their emotions, more well put together and responsible than anyone I ever know

libra: very patient, kind, takes jokes well, knows how to self deprecate, puts up with a lot, loving, will never not be the mum of every group, big nerd, avid reader, understanding and empathetic sometimes to their detriment

scorpio: seems fake but is probably nice, intimidating, doesn’t know how to listen or when to shut up, has polarising opinions, loyal but knows when to cut somebody off, probably travelling

sagittarius: posts on social media way too often, good at talking to people, knows how to party, makes other people nervous, dates a lot, prone to jealousy from others, secretly smart

capricorn: seems twofaced, likes attention even though they’ll never admit it, enjoys feeling important, let’s their worth be defined by other people, either drinks for the wrong reasons or not at all, blind as a bat

aquarius: genuinely nice and beautiful, doesn’t believe in themself enough, can have a laugh, looks stunning without trying, looks to others for advice often, knows how to take a good picture, can be a bit rash at times

pisces: kind of a confusing person, always funny, will never snap at you, deserves better, crafty, great music taste, knows how to dance well and make it look effortless, secretly very confident

[caillincanteven]

sext: i place the bacon in a roasting pan, you celebrate holidays as a satanist

[caillincanteven]

the signs as band names my brother and I came up with

Aries: Pets or Meat?

Taurus: The Real Property and Improvements Known as 2544 N. Colorado St.

Gemini: Satisfaction Chain

Cancer: Martha’s Family Panic

Leo: Mister Lesbian

Scorpio: Very Very Sexy Sexy

Virgo: Accident with Wider Consequences

Libra: Three Word Conspiracy Theories

Sagittarius: Not Gay, Just Busy

Capricorn: Bad News From Space

Aquarius: European Bog Bodies

Pisces: Ordinary People Driving Buses

[caillincanteven]

signs on christmas

aries

taurus

gemini

cancer

leo

virgo

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

[caillincanteven]

signs as hipster things

capricorn: being tired, coffee, and coffee memes EVERYWHERE

sagittarius: obscure books by unknown and foreign authors, as well as reading the book years before seeing the movie

aquarius: organic food, veganism, coconut milk, kombucha, chia seeds

pisces: loving all kinds of art, from the classics of Van Gogh, Van Eyck and Michelangelo to modern shitheads like Damien Hirst and Banksy

aries: loving eclectic music, vinyls, owning a record player, and hating pop music just enough for it to not seem like you're doing it for attention

taurus: beards, facial hair, shave butter, glitter beards, putting flowers in beards

gemini: board games, rpgs, dnd, playing all of them casually enough to not quite be considered a nerd

cancer: fairy lights, Edison light bulbs, lanterns, candles, ironic lava lamps

virgo: black framed glasses, small circular glasses, especially non prescription

leo: trying to bring back old phrases ironically from the 80s-90s, avoiding new ones like the plague

libra: using Tumblr and Pinterest, especially for art related use

scorpio: hating the world as we know it, rejecting all labels eg. hipster, mainstream, counterculture, asshole

[caillincanteven]

signs as things my wife has said

my bestie >>> @emilythebookqueen she's a funny ol' bugger

capricorn: "I can taste the miso inside me"

sagittarius: "Yeah rocks are really cool."

aquarius: "I'm as shallow as like a puddle"

pisces: "I wanna throw my baby!"

aries: "I love blankets. They're so underrated."

taurus: "Are there even 500 children in Australia?"

gemini: "Nobody cares about you and your fucking cheeta girls"

cancer: "This apple tastes like a pear. Has genetic modification gone too far?"

virgo: "I'm not hungry, I've got a lollipop"

leo: "I don't just have puff pastry coming out my ass"

libra: "You should hold MY head"

scorpio: "If Meryl Streep came out as God I wouldn't be surprised"

[caillincanteven]

signs as when they’re on their period

capricorn: very irritable the week before, weirdly composed during

sagittarius: E M O T I O N A L as heckers, crying always, happy crying, sad crying, sympathy crying etc.

aquarius: becomes a social hermit, binge watches netflix from a pile of blankets

pisces: finds comfort in watching trashy reality tv and eating sweets, enjoys the simple things and is never productive

aries: practical, uses all the home pain relief remedies, eats a lot of chocolate

taurus: takes the strongest pain meds they own and powers through their day, taking pride in knowing that nobody can tell they’re dying inside

gemini: needs to tell everyone about their cramps and other symptoms, especially guys to try and gross them out

cancer: bipolar af, one minute they want to hug everyone, the next they want to rip everyone’s heads off, MOOD SWINGS !

virgo: hates literally everyone, tries not to but it’s hard when everyone is so god damn annoying

leo: syncs up with literally all of their friends somehow, uses this as an opportunity to bond over their pain, hosts sleepovers for movies, crying and chocolate

libra: walking zombie, never put together, their three moods are: angry, less angry and satan, their friends have learnt to tread carefully and give chocolate

scorpio: is accidentally rude to everyone the entire time and after the fact feels extremely guilty and sad, constant cycle of irritation and apology, their friends will never not forgive them though

[caillincanteven]

signs as basic things

capricorn: using 'extra', 'lowkey' and 'highkey' as adjectives in every sentence

sagittarius: starbucks, especially pumpkin spice ! social media posts about their drink also

aquarius: avocado, especially smashed, talking about how great they are too

pisces: hanging up polaroids on your bedroom wall as a mural

aries: cute paper lanterns and fairy lights !!!

taurus: complaining about being hungry and tired all the time, especially when no one cares

gemini: pretending to enjoy going to art galleries so they can take good pictures for instagram

cancer: writing long posts about how much they love their friend and posting them on facebook and instagram

leo: "like" "literally" "oh my god" "kill me" "slay me" "GOALS"

virgo: only buying name brand clothes even though thrift shops would have similar clothes for $2

libra: snapchat filters and lip syncing to songs to prove to themselves they listen to cool music

scorpio: "its me" "tfw..." "this is me when..." "SAME" "true" "this is the best thing I've seen all day"

[caillincanteven]

signs as stereotypes

capricorn: no nonsense career woman who wears suits and hates men

sagittarius: gay bestfriend

aquarius: pretentious asshole who takes polaroids and writes shitty poetry

pisces: disney princess, literally an angel, can also sing

aries: introverted protagonist who draws in class and doesn’t talk to anyone

taurus: tough jock with no brains

gemini: popular mean girl who bullies new girls

cancer: weird kid who eats lunch by themself

virgo: preppy nerd, stuck up but also nice and pretty

leo: extroverted best friend to introverted protagonist, encourages them to socialise

libra: new bad boy love interest with sensitive side

scorpio: evil disney villain that likes to monologue

[caillincanteven]

where they rightfully should be

signs as stupid things i’ve said

capricorn: “I love it like the colour of sand”

sagittarius: “I’ve never been this hyped about my nose before”

aquarius: “Is it animation or amination?”

pisces: “You know when you cry cause you lie down?”

aries: “Wow that’s cool as fuck bro. I got a fucking glowy tail.”

taurus: “I should name my child Jamiroquai”

gemini: “You sound like an asthmatic fly.”

cancer: “I can hear myself chewing through your arm”

leo: “It looked like it had dog cleavage”

virgo: “I feel like rocks are underrated”

libra: “It was only cute when I was little cause I look like an idiot”

scorpio: “I need more crack for my foot”

!!! BONUS ROUND !!!

>>> “Hold my head I’m going limp”

[caillincanteven]

signs as stupid things i've said

capricorn: "I love it like the colour of sand"

sagittarius: "I've never been this hyped about my nose before"

aquarius: "Is it animation or amination?"

pisces: "You know when you cry cause you lie down?"

aries: "Wow that's cool as fuck bro. I got a fucking glowy tail."

taurus: "I should name my child Jamiroquai"

gemini: "You sound like an asthmatic fly."

cancer: "I can hear myself chewing through your arm"

leo: "It looked like it had dog cleavage"

virgo: "I feel like rocks are underrated"

libra: "It was only cute when I was little cause I look like an idiot"

scorpio: "I need more crack for my foot"

!!! BONUS ROUND !!!

>>> "Hold my head I'm going limp"

[caillincanteven]

signs as angsty teens

capricorn: gets mad their mom wakes them up for school

sagittarius: wears eyeliner exclusively on the underside of their eye

aquarius: draws 'tattoos' on their arms because their mom says the can't get real ones, and gets mad when they say they'll die from ink poisoning

pisces: is already budgeting for all the piercings they'll get

aries: refuses to clean their room out of spite for their parents

taurus: posts screenshots of sad poems about betrayal on instagram, 2 years after their last relationship ended

gemini: "why does nobody ever listen to me literally ever"

cancer: watching sad movies just to cry

leo: self-admittedly lazy, gets angry when people criticise them for it

virgo: "fml" "I hate school" "what a bunch of normies"

libra: jokes about being satan, is also an atheist

scorpio: "why do you hate me"

[caillincanteven]

zodiacs favourite things

capricorn: a crowd of strangers singing a song together at a concert

sagittarius: fresh linen smell

aquarius: the feeling you get when you look up at a clear night sky

pisces: the smell of fresh cucumber

aries: feeling weightless in a pool of water

taurus: the smell of summer outdoors

gemini: the smell of a wood fire and the feeling of being wrapped in a sleeping bag

cancer: opening a window at night to stare into the darkness and smell the fresh air

leo: finding a good song to adore for a month

virgo: listening to quiet, calming music when they can't sleep

libra: a new pair of pyjamas

scorpio: the way your skin feels after a good facemask

[caillincanteven]

satanic word of the day

crust.

[caillincanteven]

💠 satanic wish list 🌀

• ritual sand • unholy water • glen20 air freshener • goats(2+) • aztec calendar guide • telescope • telephone • television • electricity • non-flammable pyjamas if they exist • candles (non scented)

[caillincanteven]

gtg

peasant:

me: heheh its great to have some peace and quiet

peasant:

me: ha ha yep

peasant:

me: ...

peasant: just because i'm dead doesn't mean i tolerate jovi

me: fcuk