candycatfalls

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this is the single worst way i've ever read to describe an erection, frank herbert

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NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 5 POLL 2

PROPAGANDA:

[Megatron]

"Just. Just look at this guy. He's already so big and so mad. He's going to be even more big and even more mad if someone knocks him up and he's going to make it everyone's problem, and he's capable of making himself a big problem for a lot of people. It's the middle of the 5 million year war and the Decepticons are more afraid of 20 tons of cranky warlord with morning sickness than of the enemy. The Autobots don't know what to do. The humans are getting a whole new education. It's a nightmare for everyone. Or it's peacetime and the peace progress and his post-war moral soul-searching just got a whole lot more complicated. Either way, no matter who did it - his deviously treacherous second in command, his loyal and possibly psychic third in command, his life-long Autobot nemesis/ex-boyfriend, his meteor-surfing co-captain, Tarn - there's going to be big drama.

Alternatively, it's Transformers One and he is a precious cinnamon roll who got his heart broken by everyone he trusted and now we can make it worse and make him even sadder!

Alternatively alternatively it's Bayverse and he might already have been knocked up before, we don't know where those hatchlings came from.

Basically what I'm saying is that there are infinite flavors of Pregatron and all of them are peak drama because that's how he rolls. Also you get to call him Pregatron which is always a win."

"He's got birthing hips and a desire to fuel the decepticon cause."

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[candycatfalls]

FORD'S IN THE LEAD AGAIN!!!!! WOOO!!!!! WE MIGHT JUST WIN THIS POLL TOO!!!!!!!

If ford sweeps this whole tournament..... I might have a drawing idea

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Their cardboard #theircardboard

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Is "Bill gets held" day still happening on June 7th? Is that the one that won?

Yep 👍

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love when there’s like 4 people online and we keep reblogging the same posts from each other. literally just 4 bitches hanging out and telling each other “exactlyyyyy”

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I will have a JessFord fic at the ready whenever the poll gods say it's time 🫡

Thank you for your commitment 🫡

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Idk the vibe you're going for but two songs I have on my Bill playlist that make me think of him OBSESSING over Ford are Your Body, My Temple (Song) by Will Wood and An Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra (same people who did the music for The Stanley Parable) (tw on the latter for stalking if that irks anyone)

Hes sooooo normal about that old man <3

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Cannot believe billfordhole has a lead over jheselford … misogyny tbh

Thats okay anon I'll just keep putting jheselford in polls until they win <3

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I would like to recommend one of my billford favorites- Voodoo by VOILÀ✨

OOOO rly good!!!

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OMG CONGRATS ON THE KITTENS the cat distribution system also blessed us with an abundance of cats, you’re gonna have a blast seeing them come into their personalities

HEHE THANK YOU <3

It genuinely has been such a joy to watch each of them become absolute menaces in their own unique ways

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Being a billford fan will really have you believing a 60 yr old man is submissive and breedable

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How's it feel that Ford won that 'Need that man pregnant' poll?

it feels like I'm gonna lose my godforsaken mind if after Stan won the tumblr sexyman poll Ford ends up winning the fucking Need That Man Pregnant poll

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MY POOKIEEEEE

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Hey gang, I'm opening some quick sketch commissions bc one of our kittens needs to go to the vet :(

We can afford it so don't feel pressured to throw money at me!! I just wanna take some of the strain off my parents if I can. If you have any questions let me know!

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have Triangle Bill and Second Character listed as separate add ons because Bill is easier to draw than a human. If you want Triangle Bill as a secondary character, you don't need to click both!

LESS IMPORTANT NOTE: I will do suggestive art of adult characters 👍

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Ask me my "TOP 5/TOP 10" anything!

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HAVING SEX WITH THE CHESS PIECES IS NOT TOURNAMENT LEGAL (JURY IS STILL OUT ON FUCKING THE BOARD)