canesthoughts

[canesthoughts]

I see people who claim love

and I can’t help but to deny.

It gets complicated.

Is it a facade?

I hope it’s not.

Everything that surrounds me doesn’t feel real as if there’s some planned coup against a nobody.

Surely it’s not myself against the world

yet I tread.

My arms buckle and play my shoulders favorite tune.

Give up.

I plead.

If I loved myself the same way I relinquish the tough times there would still be something missing.

I scorn you, blame you, resent you. You’re nothing.

But who am I to judge?

[canesthoughts]

it’s funny how long the sun is in the sky all day but as soon as it touches the horizon it’s gone in seconds

[canesthoughts]

I pray to Saint Anthony when I can remember, to retrieve what is dear to me that I misplace in burning embers

And overtime

I look at my hands, the hands that once welcomed

the few the many, three was never a crowd.

My eyes water, I blink, surely nothing has changed, these hands, the same hands are chard indistinguishable leaving no trace

That’s not completely true,

At the root it’s still bone

Though my kind hands, these same hands

Nevermore

So now my chin is down and my palms facing away I saunter towards rose petal lies of inocent times I call better days

Behind me is a chard path like the first footsteps on a snowfall that starts the winter

Realizing that ice and char are not so far apart

I remember my light as I wane

My shadow grabs me and keeps me as long as I’m willing

Misery loves company

Here I stand miserable and unwilling