cantgetlaid

[cantgetlaid]

Apparently the trick to getting myself to eat is having a medication that tells me "you're not *allowed* to eat until 30 mins after you take this" and my goblin brain says "how dares you tells me i's nots *allowed*?! I's wills have my munchies at exactly 30 minsutes"

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I didn't eat pr sleep for two days and my mum threatened to 5150 me

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"I want a sandwich because other foods don't give me that satisfying feeling of tearing into a creatures flesh"-mrehf

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I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit

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Last night I got to be real and deep with my partner about some of our darkest and most intimate guilty fantasies and we certainly got a happy ending

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Gods, it's been forever since I posted here, time to turn it into my personal dumping grounds lol

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so i was asked this today and

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"Cannabanis"-gabe

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Can you even eat three servings of ice cream in the five minutes you’ve been eating it?”-Mreh “I’m 6'3”, 180 pounds, of course I can do that, who the fuck do you think I am?“-Gabe

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I drip mics, yes, hello

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It’s butting me

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Voldy no

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Judas, no-

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“I have diarrhea but Jesus forgives me” -my family talking about purple Jesus Taco Bell edition