cappnyourassn - Tumblr blog

[cappnyourassn]

Yay! #concerttickets

[cappnyourassn]

Todays hike ♡ #hiking #mostateparks #hahatonka #naturalbridge #theglades #dolomite #nature #flowers #naturalbeauty my camera died and i dont really want to talk about it so here are some meh phone pics. #cameramalfunction

[cappnyourassn]

Got a raise, so i went to these guys --> @greatestshopever and i got a new water pipe! Yes! #goals #waterpipe #loveglass #glass #twistedsistersglassworks #theshop #artsaves #collections

[cappnyourassn]

#timehop #fuck #ilovethewordfuck this was three years ago. I'm so glad it shows up on my timehop. I needed to read this today. And I think you should too.

[cappnyourassn]

Oh yes. Kitty cat photoshoot. #tigger #instacat #catsofinstagram #kitty #cats #collage #mohawk #mohawkcat #catswithmohawks #oldman #bigman #bigmanoncampus

[cappnyourassn]

My widdle #cuddlebug #hellsing #bffs #dogsofinstagram #instadog #dogspam #dog #selfie #mrmedium #snakebites #piercednation #piercedandproud #mutt <-both of us. Ha.

[cappnyourassn]

He really hates it when I make him take a #selfie even more so when I make him do it at the lake where everyone is watching lol #shy #hellsing #dogsofinstagram #instadog #furbaby #mybff #mutt #mrmedium #dogday

[cappnyourassn]

#bonfire #roastytoastyprincess #friends #fire #hot #tallfireshortperson

[cappnyourassn]

Best birthday present ever. Waiting forever to get these books! My girlfriend fucking rocks! #artsaves #otep #otepshamaya #books #poetry #art #happybirthdaytome #littlesins #newwordorder #moviesinmyhead

[cappnyourassn]

#thisguy #nofilter #moth #mothman #furryfriend #bug #gross #wingedthing #outsidemyfrontdoor #nature #insectsofinstagram

[cappnyourassn]

My face looks really weird without my #snakebites. #piercednation #piercedproblems #myfacelookswierd #face #selfie #ihaveholesinmyface

[cappnyourassn]

Hopeless

There are times in everyone's life where a feeling of hopelessness comes along and darkens the skies. This, for me, is one of those times. The past few months have been a whirlwind of losing loved ones, fighting for my sanity, debt and harassment.

I feel hopeless. I feel like I'm in a hole and no one is even looking to dig me out, or lend me a shovel for that matter. Digging with my hands proves to be of little use as the dirt just keeps sliding down to replace that which I have removed.

I wish I could be more poetic and write something really beautiful that will get lots of likes and shares, but my mind is blank. Completely. My fire is gone. My happiness is gone. My laughter, gone. My drive, gone.

I've tried to reach out to the people around me, but they are all so wrapped up in themselves, they don't have time to listen.

I thought I was over this hump in my life, but it's never been this awful. For the first time in years, I feel the urge to cut again. Of course I won't because cutting doesn't solve anything, and it sure doesn't make the hurt go away. My second thought is to run. Run fast and hard. Get away from it. But just because I run away doesn't mean it's not still there.

So today, even though I have been crying all last night, and all day today, I will cry some more. I will be afraid. I will not understand how this fucked up world works.

I will be hopeless.

-"And I can feel it now, It's more obvious than ever there's a problem and I better try to figure out If I'm willing to solve them or ignore 'em like a middle child. Seems like it's been awhile, since I had an answer to one of life's riddles, I'm riddled out. And now I'm stuck in this mental house and these four walls are driving me crazy! And I'm begging the all to take a different route, somebody save me! All I see is madness on the daily! It's getting out of hand like dropping a baby! All the pills I keep slapping away when they try to medicate me; I'm a danger to my safety and my angers got me strapped in a jacket at most times. And lately I re-act to the fact that it's all here to change me with a middle finger right to the face and stay the same me. Lift me up. In life the pressure so heavy I feel I've fallen to the wayside. I know I wasn't born on this earth to become a failure and die. If only I could spread my wings and then fly."

-"in this life, my situations fading, as I take flight from the top of this skyscraper, can you hear me screaming out?"

[cappnyourassn]

Oh hell yeah. Minigame tourney! #shots #daydrinkin #pokemon #pokemonstadium #tournament #winning #kickinass #killinit #dayoff

[cappnyourassn]

#pixlr my inner self. #selfie #blueeyes #notreallythough #orangehair #greeneyes #freckles #imnotunattractive #bitch #sorrynotsorry

[cappnyourassn]

#true #cybernation #backtobasics #getoffyourphone #imahypocrite #damn #truestory #sorrynotsorry

[cappnyourassn]

This is my dog. Right at this very moment. #thisguy #instadog #teefers #upsidedowndog #crazyeye #bff #cuddlebug #uptonogood #pup #instapuppy #dogsofinstagram #mrmedium #hellsing

[cappnyourassn]

Because this is how i feel. I wonder, when i became so broken. So unattached. I wonder, how is it that i can mend myself?