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He needs to stop acting so boyfriend

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call me crazy but I did write out my confession (and subsequent rejection) as a narrative for a friend, enjoy

He was taking his distance as we took slow but sure steps up the narrow spiral staircase. I was drunk, of course, as if that wasn't obvious. If it weren't for the three bottles of soju running through my veins, nerves would probably be the reason I was on edge.

When we got to the landing, I tried to steady myself on the wall beside my door, leaning back against it. I might have put my face on the cool concrete at some point, I don't recall, but I remember the plush fabric of his jacket rolled up as I held his arm to, you guessed it, steady myself. What a reason, right? I'm just trying to be a mastermind. Mama Taylor didn't prepare me for this moment for nothing.

Drunken giggles bubbled from my chest as I said, "I can't feel my face," which earned an intoxicated chuckle from him as well. Trying to prolong the moment when we have some sort of bodily contact, I asked about our group's travel plans tomorrow. He answered, to the best of his ability but I knew after that, it was the moment.

My hand slid down to his hand, noticing that his palm was soft, so warm and comforting. Like how I felt around him all this time. Of course, there were a lot of moments I was overthinking but my attraction to him never manifested as butterflies in my stomach. It was the feeling of security, warmth, comfort. Like there was always someone you could talk to and it was him, that he looks out for you, like life would be easy with him.

As I held his hand, I looked up and tried to maintain eye contact.

"I have to tell you something," I started, breathing out the words as he looked at me with rapt attention. "I'm not expecting anything from you but," another pause as I breathed in deeply.

"I like you." A beat. Maybe two. His drunk brain was probably processing and I don't know what kind of outcome he stumbled on to but his only answer was… "Okay, go to sleep."

OF COURSE, I WAS DUMBFOUNDED. There I was a girl, standing in front of a boy, being all vulnerable and shit and his reply was only four words. Of course, I had recon with the girlies after, even if we were all a little bit tipsy and drunk, even if I had to carry one of us to the bathroom to hurl her guts out but inevitably, we came to the conclusion that I already showed him my cards. It was his play now.

And his play was to stay friends. There was a smidge of awkwardness the day after. It didn't help that we were stuck next to each other on the bus ride back to the city the next day with my seatmate trying his hardest not to touch any part of my body as if that was possible. The subtle pulling away kinda stings but what can I do about that?

When we got home, I sent him a message which he replied to which is a fitting end to this fiasco of a story, recount, reminiscing, whatever. I told him that the encounter must have given him more questions than answers and that I would always still be friends with him along with the caveat that he should know that he deserves affection too, that whatever happened to him in the past shouldn't dictate what his love life should look like moving forward.

His reply was straightforward. He was worried it would be too harsh but I don't like beating around the bush either. I like things clear and precise so when he told me he prefers to be friends, that he still has trauma from everything that happened to him, and that his love life is not a priority at the moment, I understood immediately. Better than dealing with it, nipping it in the bud before it could hurt the both of us deeply.

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Little Things (ACOFAF)

From my obsession with Dimension 20's ACoFaF, here's a little #RueHob Drabble

It's the little things that make me imagine.

The longing glances, looks of attention, or even admiration. How hands flex after touching, how tingles reach my fingertips as your skin, warm on mine, held my heart as your eyes held my own. However, little things can only go so far before I come seeking for the next time your hand has mine before I imagine what could be if I walk across this garden, despite looks of scandal or disdain from our courts.

Little things appear insurmountable to the capacious things I hold great in my life. This feeling calls for everything that I am. My mind is wrought by minuscule notions of what could be, if your gaze means something, if the way you hitched your breath as you saw me was real and not an illusion, if I let go of the reins that cage my heart to truly, helplessly, finally, fall in love with you.

Perhaps it is true that they say that imagination has no limit. I can only wonder about what could happen if I bore my heart and my soul to you. Your presence, albeit fleeting, conjures a permanent image in my mind. Your words, sometimes misconstrued due to your clueless nature, still make my heart swoon as honesty shines through. Your actions, no matter how feral or calculated or impulsive, send fireworks shot right through my veins.

And still, I am lonely at this moment. For the little things that make my chest tight and my dreams saccharine are still placed on a plate balancing on a spinning pole, waiting for the right moment to crash along with my fantasies, my delusions, and my reverie. You hold my heart and now, I'm waiting for you to give me yours.

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*dusting off cobwebs*

man, i've been gone for so long here, I'm dust has caked on my posts, will be turning this into a personal blog anyway so stay or go, pursue whatever gives you the happiness you want

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Masterlist

I am open for requests for these groups. Most of my works so far are fluff and angst. Smut is still a world I’m transitioning into as a writer. Care to challenge me? Message me your requests and I’ll do my best to deliver.

SF9

Youngbin

Inseong

Jaeyoon

Library

Dawon

Before the 14th

Sober

Under the Shower of Pastel Petals

Revenge

Rowoon

Zuho

Maybe the Night

Taeyang

Baby Come Back

Hwiyoung

Blind Date

Chani

All Members

Blank

Your Choice (Chani + Youngbin)

Chani’s Ending

Youngbin’s Ending

MONSTA X

Shownu

Wonho

Minhyuk

Kihyun

Hyungwon

Numbers

Jooheon

I.M

G-Dragon

Optional Bias

The Last Goodbye

The Last Goodbye: It Ends Here

Life’s a Beach

Metamorphs

Poems

I See You

Sana

Hate

Screen Talk

Today I Felt My Own Heart Beating

Drabbles

The Crush Game

Moodboards

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I see people liking my posts, even my old ones. Should I continue writing?

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♡ hwasa + moodboard! like or reblog if u save it.

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MY FIRST MASTERLIST

HERE IT IS MY MASTERLIST TO THE STORIES I EDITED TO MAKE THAEM SEEM LIKE THEY’RE ABOUT BIGBANG

50 Shades of Kwon Ji Yong (M) book 1/3 Smut/Fluff/Angst

When literature student Y/N Y/L/N goes to interview young entrepreneur Kwon Ji Yong, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Y/N is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Y/N’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Kwon admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Kwon’s singular erotic tastes, Y/N hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Kwon is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Y/N discovers Kwon Ji Yong’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5 Part.6 Part.7 Part.8 Part.9 Part.10 Part.11 Part.12 Part.13 

Part.14 Part.15 Part.16 Part.17 Part.18 Part.19

 Part.20 Part.21 Part.22 Part.23 Part.24

Bared by Him - Seungri (M) book 1 of 4Smut/Fluff/Angst

Lee Seung Hyun came into my life like lightning in the darkness…

He was beautiful and brilliant, jagged and white-hot. I was drawn to him as I’d never been to anything or anyone in my life. I craved his touch like a drug, even knowing it would weaken me. I was flawed and damaged, and he opened those cracks in me so easily…

Seunghyun knew. He had demons of his own. And we would become the mirrors that reflected each other’s most private wounds… and desires.

The bonds of his love transformed me, even as I prayed that the torment of our pasts didn’t tear us apart…

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5 Part.6 Part.7 Part.8 Part.9 Part.10 Part.11

50 DARKER SHADE OF KWON JI YONG -G-DRAGON 

continuation of 50 shades of kwon ji yong

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5 Part.6 Part.7 Part.8 Part.9 Part.10

NOW~ GD FANFIC EDIT

Reader is an 18 year old college student with a simple life, excellent grades, and a sweet boyfriend. She always has things planned out ahead of time, until she meets a rude boy named Jiyong, with too many tattoos and piercings who shatters her plans.

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5 Part.6 Part.7 Part.8 Part.9 Part.10 

Part.11Part.12 Part.13 Part.14 Part.15 Part.16 Part.17 Part.18

 Part.19 Part.20 Part.21 Part.22 Part.23 Part.24 Part.25 Part.26 Part.27

Now 2~ GD Fanfic Edit

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5 Part. 6

 Part.7 Part.8 Part.9 Part.10 Part.11 Part.12 Part.13

 Part.14 Part.15 Part.16 Part.17 Part.18 Part.19

 Part.20 Part.21 Part.22 Part.23 Part.24 Part.25 Part.26 Part.27 Part.28 Part.29 Part.30

Like4Like Gdragon x y/n Instagram scenario

In which you are his fan and he takes interest in you but is everything going to be easy?(sorry idk where i will go with the story yet)

Part 1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part5

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Drunk Jiyong telling about the time Youngbae saved him from bullies in school

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Drunk Jiyong telling about the time Youngbae saved him from bullies in school

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[ENG SUB] Travel the World on EXO’s Ladder Season 2 - EXO in Taiwan

Full Episodes:

Episodes 1-3 [1]

Episodes 4-5 [1]

Episodes 6-8 [1]  pw: 69X32M9

Episodes 9-10 [1]  pw: 69X32M9

Episodes 11-13 [1] pw: 10Y007X1

Episodes 14-15 [1] pw: 10Y007X1

Episodes 16-18 [1] pw: 0H046B5

Episodes 19-20 [1] pw: 0H046B5

Episodes 21-23 [1] pw: J912D21

Episodes 24-25 [1] pw: J912D21

Episodes 26-28 [1] pw: K148J80

Episodes 29-30 [1] pw: K148J80

Episodes 31-33 [1] pw: S924H14

Episodes 34-35 [1] pw: S924H14

Episodes 36-40 [1] 

Episodes 41-43 [1] pw: D201K12

Episodes 44-45 [1] pw: D201K12

Episode 46 [1] pw: J025M21

Episodes 47-48 [1] pw: J025M21

Episodes 49-50 [1] pw: J025M21

Unreleased Cuts:

Unreleased Cut 1 [1]

Unreleased Cut 2 [1]

Unreleased Cut 3 [1]

Unreleased Cut 4 [1]

Unreleased Cut 5 [1]

Unreleased Cut 6 [1]

Unreleased Cut 7 [1]

Unreleased Cut 8 [1]

Unreleased Cut 9 [1]

Unreleased Cut - Paid Content [1]

Events:

190412 Press Conference [1]

190419 Oksusu Fanmeeting [1]

Other:

Prereleased Cut 1 [1]

Prereleased Cut 2 [1]

Prereleased Cut 3 [1]

Prereleased Cut 4 [1]

Prereleased Cut 5 [1]

Prereleased Cut 6 [1]

Prereleased Cut 7 [1]

Prereleased Cut 8 [1]

Prereleased Cut 9 [1]

Chinese new Year Message [1]

TrueID Message [1] <thai sub>

Teasers [1] [2] [3]

cr. EXO2018subs

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Misery Never Goes Out Of Style Masterlist

Part 1 - COMPLETE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Part 2 - COMPLETE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Part 3

Chapter 1

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Okay. Gif I wanted to use didn’t work and I can’t find another one. This one is close enough.

Listening to A Little Wicked by Valerie Broussard

Rating: Let’s see if it’s smut.. 

Note: I dunno. I haven’t written smut in so long.. so I’m just gonna do it. This will probably be awful, so let me know? Only way I’ll ever learn is by figuring out what I did wrong. Woo. Failure. 

Future!Hel: I legit think I wrote smut? Ugh. Feels awkward and cringey, but so does everything the first time. Enjoy @making-me-blush​ and @sahkuraa​. <3

Keep reading

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I have some Jiyong smut suggestions

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Hahahaha i'm crying. You're right some MX members are blind as bats *coughs* *Hyungwon* *coughs*

I think I just discovered a new kink of mine (I’m spending way to much time procrastinating 😅); men with glasses and especially handsome men with glasses! Ji is definitely my bias but damn does TOP look handsome in glasses!! So the question at hand, do they actually have bad eyesight or is it just an accessory? Also, I’m sorry for spamming you all the time! It’s just such a nice place to hang 😘, please let me know if it’s a bother ^^.

Dudes in glasses is maybe the most normal kink I’ve heard of in kpop tbh. 🤣

The only idols I know for sure have poor eyesight is MX and it’s weird I even know that. Lolol.

If I had to make a guess though, it would be that Tabi actually needs glasses and Jiyong does it mostly for aesthetics.

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I made the horrible mistake of looking up jiyong with kids. My heart and my ovaries have now exploded

Just made the even worse mistake of looking up g dragon with babies

I made this same mistake the other day with Baekhyun. It was the worst. And now you’ve left me with the imagery of Ji with babies and I... I’m so mad lol.

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The Last Goodbye: It Ends Here

"The only girl I want is you." he heaved. I can't take it anymore and I again kneeled down in front of him.

"Please, tell me what I should do to make you stay?" He asked. His desperation was evident through his eyes. He was tired and so was I. We both stood up and he hold onto me tightly, as if he was afraid I would slip from his grasp. We both reached our bedroom and I let him lay down on our shared bed as I sat down beside him.

My mind was a mess. Should I leave him now? Should I stay? He's always there for me and even when he was busy, he would always make sure he would make time for me. When I seem troubled or worried, he would distract me with movie nights and cuddle fights. Maybe my insecurities always win over my mind too much that in the process of hurting myself, he's also being hurt. Should I even go? Is that really the answer?

I stood up and a hand quickly grasped my wrist. My eyes met his and I took this moment to give his forehead a kiss. He watched me as I walked to my side of the bed, pull up the covers and lay down beside him. He quickly wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I hugged him back.

Okay, I'll be strong.

Okay, I'll stay.