captian-sassy

[captian-sassy]

WARNING!!!!

People, please be careful. There are also people tracking children and people and putting bids on them based on their profile pictures on whatsapp, tracking and kidnapping them. Especially young children, so please be cautious, especially parents who have their children as their profile pictures.

Please pass this on to everyone so that they are aware of the danger. I don’t how it is all around the world but I know it can’t just be here so please please spread the word. Thank you.

[captian-sassy]

Freddy, shooing Billy away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

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Freddy: I type how I think.

Billy: Odd that you type at all then.

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Darla: What is your favourite mythical story?

Freddy: The Story Of My Will To Live.

Darla: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

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[Billy is fighting a monster]

Freddy: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Billy: The power to believe in myself!?

Freddy: No, a knife! Stab it!

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Freddy: Hello, McDonalds, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

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Darla: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.

Freddy: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

[captian-sassy]

Give me two characters in my inbox

“vs.” for who I think would win a fight

“or” for who I like better

“+” for how I ship them (platonic, familial, romantic, not at all)

And I’ll give you my reasons for why!

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[captian-sassy]

Freddy: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t been arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Billy: Nat 20 charisma.

Freddy: That is NOT how that works.

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Freddy: Mary told me to stop being immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

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Computer: Please enter a password.

Billy: *Types in Freddy*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Billy: How fucking DARE YOU-

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Darla: Do you cook?

Mary: I made a cake once.

Freddy: Yeah, is it was good.

Mary: Really?

Freddy: Don’t make me lie twice, Mary.

[captian-sassy]

continuing my meme crusade in defense of this movie

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Billy, smugly after security arrives to escort Mary and Freddy out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out?

Mary, in defeat: Let’s go.

Freddy: Wait.

Mary: What?

Freddy: I’d kinda like to be carried out…

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Billy: Is it still visible? Where Freddy slapped me?

Darla: Your face looks like a don’t walk signal.

Pedro: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.

Eugene: A palm reader could tell Freddy’s future by looking at your face.

Mary: The phrase “talk to the hand cause the face ain’t listening” doesn’t work for you, because the hand is your face.

Billy: …A simple “yes” would’ve sufficed.

[captian-sassy]

i just need a fic to take me apart with a screwdriver and then reassemble me and act like nothing happened despite the time i spent in pieces on my bedroom floor. you know.