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Carly Honey
27. Manchester. Instagram: carlyhoney
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Autumn brings change, and like the leaves it’s only natural we change with it.
05/09/2018
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When I walked in to the coffee shop and saw you. My body did not react like it did the first time. I waited for my heart to abandon me. For my legs to freeze up. To fall to the ground crying at your sight. Nothing happened. There was no connection or movement inside when we locked eyes. You looked like a regular person with your regular clothes and regular coffee. There was nothing profound about you. I don’t give myself enough credit. My body must have cleansed itself of you long ago. Must have gotten tired of me behaving like I’d lost the best thing to have ever happened. And wrung the insecurities out while I was busy wallowing in pity. That day I had no make up on. My hair was all over the place. I was wearing an old shirt and Pajama pants. Yet I felt like a gleaming siren. A mermaid. I did a little celebratory dance whilst I was walking home. Even though we were both under the same roof of that coffee shop. I was still solar systems away from you.
The art of growing. 27.
04/09/2018
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Some of my awkward “I dont know how to pose” photo outtakes.
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Body confidence - Love first and then comes acceptance...
It’s such a nice feeling when you feel body confident and you prance around feeling positive and on top of the world! But then there’s days when you can’t help but feel negative about your body and judge every little imperfection. Men and women both feel this I’m sure, we are all human. Of course there’s things we can do like eating well, going to the gym and wearing shaped jeans or a fitted shirt that help us out! But ultimately, it’s a feeling that comes from the inside and it’s based solely on your own perspective...
You may have noticed that there were a few bikini snaps on my most recent post below - it was a purposeful lead up to this post!
I received so many compliments on my “curvy” shape from friends, however... I most definitely didn’t feel confident at the time! During my trip, my appearance was something I resented. My friend who I was travelling with is a gym freak and I’m more of a 20 chicken nugget kinda gal. I grew up as the ugly kid, and I don’t think that perspective ever really leaves you. I’m not here for a sob story, I’m just trying to explain that I’m unable to feel truly great in my own skin due to my negative mindset.
I’ve never posed for a bikini photo before. I had to ask my friend how to stand and what looks best. It was awkward to say the least and I couldn’t bring myself to look at them for a day or two.
As soon as I was out of my bikini and in a bar, all those negative feelings went away! I was dancing and laughing like any other 27 year old.
This made me reflect on what was making me feel so insecure. I sat by the pool and wrote down how I felt when I felt unconfident in my body, and what I needed to do to feel confident again. The answers weren’t things like lose weight, tone up, stop eating chocolate; they were smiling more, putting myself forward, moving and laughing. This reflection pushed me to own my photos, feel proud of my appearance - realistically I’m no different to anybody else and I have no reason to be ashamed!
I’m learning the steps back to feeling “confident” so that the next time I’m in a bit of a rut, I can take a minute, breathe and change my perspective. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And when I really think about it, what made me feel confident wasn’t what I was wearing or how I looked in it...
I’m getting to know my body more recently, and maybe one day I’ll learn to like it.
03/09/2018
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Writing in retrospect isn't great for me... I’ll let the photos speak on my behalf!
A few from the greatest place on earth
Where to next?
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It’s been a while... I’ve “celebrated” turning 27, saw the killers, left my job and achieved a promotion!
I’m a little lost in work at the minute so I will be slow to update for the foreseeable! Until the next one, here are a few (drunk) selfies of me!
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My home away from home
22/06/2018
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Why I fell in love with Perranporth beach...
Good Morning!
I’ve been awake since silly o’clock. I hate trying to get my sleeping pattern back to normal after nights. I’m passing the time with another blog post about my favourite place on earth - Cornwall!
I used to visit Cornwall a fair amount as a child. We stayed with family, travelled from village to village, flew kites on beaches and ate plenty of pasties! They were always the best holidays and those trips hold some of my dearest memories! I think its why I love to backpack and move around during a holiday - every day felt like a new adventure.
My Grandmas love for Perran was my motivation to go. I was 9 and we were on the familiar routined family Cornwall holiday. I nagged and nagged until one afternoon my mum agreed to take me. I remember pulling up on a small dirt road in the middle of nowhere. We followed a winding footpath along the cliffs edge which slowly dropped until we were met with miles of sand and water. It was like walking through a wardrobe into Narnia. Other people walking on the beach were so far away they were teeny dots on the horizon and although windy, it was so peaceful and quiet. The tide was really far out and despite walking towards it for a good 30 minutes, we still never actually got to dip our toes in the sea. Everything about the place felt perfect to me. It felt like a home away from home.
I visited many times after this over the years, but I have never returned as an adult. It was weird. I didn’t want it to not live up to expectation... Or, I guess, maybe I felt that I couldn’t reproduce what made those trips to that beach so special for me.
22/06/2018
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Nightshifts mean that I overnight oats overday!
(This filter makes my food look very professional 😂)
20/06/2018
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7 night shifts are looming...
The night shift. The mystery to all those 9-5 workers, but no mystery to us in the NHS. I’ll be honest, they sometimes have their perks - more money, less noise, less people to interrupt your flow - they can be very appealing for a good reason! But what are the downfalls? Especially when you’re trying to take good care of yourself and be healthy and well?
I feel that I often hear people saying they gained a lot of weight, or their sleeping pattern was messed up for ages and that they just feel rundown all the time with no energy to spare.
I’m currently preparing and that involves being sat in bed, eating Shreddies, napping and watching scrubs. I think back to when I started my training - it definitely was the case that I would only “hope for the best” and allow myself to get so messed up that I couldn’t even remember what day it was! This makes me realise how far I have come and that my survival techniques do work well for me.
I’m going to purpose some strategies to help my future self or for those of you who do work nights. Its vital that we take care of ourselves and find a routine that works to avoid future health problems! Unfortunately we can't escape our biology - our bodies are designed to be active during the day, and need rest and repair at night. So lets look at what I do:
1. Meal preparation: I personally think this is key. Don’t leave it to chance and fill yourself with rubbish. You must have a plan for your food intake. People always laugh at me for discussing what I’m going to eat during my nights two weeks before I’m due to work them! Prepping food at home and making sure that I’m bringing fresh food with me is a life saver. My body really needs it.
2. Meal times: I know some people who completely flip their schedule and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner as they would during the day. I personally find it better to stay as close as possible to a normal day/ night pattern of food intake. I do this by minimising my food intake between 12-6am to allow my body to still have that period of rest.
3. Exercise: I’m really not that big on exercise anymore... I don’t have that gym bod!!! However I do feel that when I’m on nights all I do is work, sleep, have no energy and feel like crap - which is even more reason for me to exercise! I try to walk to and from my shift - personally I find that doing this wakes me up and tires me out!
4. Use caffeine strategically: I have previously relied on caffeine pretty heavily during nights, but now I always try to keep it to the beginning of my shift.
5. Make your daytime sleep as good as possible: Get blackout curtains/ blinds, turn your phone on silent and try to have an empty home during the day to minimise interruptions!
6. Sleep patterns: Find what works for you and stick to it. I like to come home, have a bath, relax with a hot chocolate before bed and wake up around half five in the evening.
7. Take vitamin D: I have a Berocca and a bottle of water when I wake up and I often take freshly prepared fish to work for my evening meal. Working nights can make you deficient in vitamin D because you’re not getting exposure to daylight. A lack of vitamin D can make you moody, irritable and tired - and we don’t need any more of that considering we’re already feeling rough and cranky from being awake all night.
Nights are not for everyone. I know at times you need to do what you need to do, but just make sure your own health isn't taking a hit and pay attention to what your body is telling you! I hope some of these help.
Days, our time together has been really nice, I’ll be seeing you again next Thursday!
14/06/2018
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I wanted to upload a pano but for reasons I can’t explain it was breaking my page 😠
Podcast on! Time to grab the tram and head back home
13/06/2018
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El Gato Negro
Myself and my partner Anthony decided a date night was much needed. We paid a visit to a small tapas restaurant tucked away amongst the back streets of Manchester. Inside it was very modern and decorated with dark furnishings and black cats. We simply went to enjoy an intimate quiet atmosphere, and we certainly were not disappointed!
Food: 9/10
Freshly made and delicious!
Drinks: 7/10
Nothing special - usual drinks menu and fairly priced!
Menu: 8/10
It wasn’t clear how many tapas plates you should roughly order per person however there was a good selection to choose from and staff were quick to assist with any queries
Service: 9/10
Staff were very attentive, explained each course carefully and ensured that there were no delays with drinks/ payment
Atmosphere & Decor: 10/10
For me, this was one of the best aspects of the dinner, it was very relaxed and the furnishings were very different (which is right up my street!)
Price: 9/10
I think the food & service was worth what we paid
Seats available: 6/10
We did have to book beforehand. To avoid any disappointment, I would recommend booking during busy periods. We saw lots of people being turned away!
13/06/2018
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