cassandraxiv

[cassandraxiv]

btw i got put in a timeloop and a little known fact is you don't get to keep any of your practical skills. it's all about the psychological development i guess. i got really good at rock climbing and rollerblading in there. came out and i can't grip or balance for shit. kinda wonder what the point was because i do feel like the rollerblading was pretty essential to my moral epiphany but i guess there's stuff about being in a timeloop that's just not for me to understand. idk.

[cassandraxiv]

I've got a real big suggestion. I think that if they aren't your kid, you shouldn't sacrifice yourself for anybody. your friends care about you too much to see you suffer alongside them now how do i terraform the ocean.

[cassandraxiv]

@tess-ruunaser-suggestions i hope youre okay :( i dont know how my fantasy phone is working under the fantasy water but im texting you on tumblr.com

[cassandraxiv]

10/10 dad joke

[cassandraxiv]

I did an experiment on myself

I like to browse social media, but it's not really me who likes that. It's some baser, more lizardish part of my brain. It does not even know what it's looking at, or care -- it just knows it gets little dopamine snacks from it, and likes them.

I decided to do an experiment. I wanted to see what that part of my brain would do if I deprived it of what it usually likes. I blocked all social media in my desktop browser via an extension, uninstalled all my social media apps, and even blocked the websites on my phone just for good measure.

So, what would I do now?

It turns out I start going on wikipedia. I liked to look at the "on this day section," and use the random page button. It's kind of like social media because I never knew what I was going to see. It scratched that same itch.

But I wanted to go farther, so I blocked wikipedia too.

Turns out, after that, I start going on google maps streetview and exploring random towns in Chile or Mongolia. I see hotels and restaurants with 1 review. Who are you, reviewer. Why have you decided to give this pizza restaurant that just looks like a normal house this digital baptism.

But I wanted to go farther, so I blocked google maps too.

Then, I started going to my local library. The library had more information than I could ever read about practically anything I wanted to read about. I started reading about French history. The region we know today as France may look pretty innocuous, but you wouldn't believe some of the shit that went down.

But I wanted to go farther, so I stopped even going to the library. What would this part of me, that so desperately craved a constant intake of information, do now.

It was then that I descended into the sewers, and became the Rat Man.

I quickly became a legend in my town. Some teenagers saw me clamber out of one sewer grate and then into another across the street. They told their parents about it. Their parents didn't believe them. Truth be told, I almost didn't believe them either.

A woman eating oreos on a park bench once dropped one near a sewer drain at the local bike path, and yelped when she saw my arm reach out from the drain and swipe it. However, later on, she left another oreo there. She took pity on the Rat Man. I saw the Man that was left there, even though it was mostly Rat.

Ultimately I decided to allow myself the library.

[cassandraxiv]

I’ve seen this new trend of girls posting videos like “I hate my boyfriend for bringing all of his stupid boy things into our apartment when we moved in together 🙄” and then pictures of his hot wheels collection or a Halloween skeleton or an extremely cool pirate flag. Give him to me you do not deserve him.

[cassandraxiv]

"If tampons should be free, then so should my diabetes meds."

Yes? Yes they should be? Your life-saving medication that you need in order to live for a condition you were born with should be given to you at no cost?

[cassandraxiv]

practice

[cassandraxiv]

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[cassandraxiv]

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

[cassandraxiv]

For the ones that need it today

[cassandraxiv]

was behind a truck today with a bumper sticker that said "JESUS CAN HELP YOU" and in my head i was like 🙄 ok but then i saw a second, handmade sign on the side of the truck that said "taskrabbit: call jesus torres" and his phone number

[cassandraxiv]

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

[cassandraxiv]

I think more games ought to give you a dedicated hater. I really enjoyed the Iguazu experience in AC6. It was on sight every time. This is how it should always be.

[cassandraxiv]

I’ve agreed with you on near everything. But then you called the smell of the ocean bad, and on that I disagree. You are simply to weak for gaias soup.

nature doesn't exist solely for my entertainment and it has no obligation to please me but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend the Big Dead Fish And Plastic Trash Slurry is a positive nasal experience