cb-patches

[cb-patches]

i didn't do it! osiris did!

Remind me to never go to Cressidium again

[cb-patches]

never go to cressidium again

Remind me to never go to Cressidium again

[cb-patches]

hey can you tell me about cow nutrient slime again real quick

I specifically design a weapon NOT to kill people and instead keep them alive in their INTACT cockpits and this is the thanks I get? Telling me cows are some slug creature you scrape the goop off of? Bullshit

I'm going to start a forest fire

[cb-patches]

I guess I'll do it too. Patches did it, so here you go

I'm Aswang, Ghengis pilot of the independent mercenary company Controlled Burn. I definitely did not inspire that half of that name, I don't know what you're talking about, I just develop dumb tech that already exists.

Digging around the old files, turns out that my name was Calliope Van Buren. You can use whatever pronouns you want for me. I tend to default to she/her.

I was supposed to be a weapon. And to an extent, I fulfilled that purpose a little too well during CB's work on Cressidium. I stayed there for a while after the operation, though it wasn't long before my reputation made it hard to do anything productive. So, I'm back to floating wherever I can go, just this time I have a place with CB to fall back to or get called into when we get a new contract I'm needed for.

I mostly handle explosives and pyrotechnics work if you have need of any of it. I really hope you don't. I've worked with nanotech before, but it was a short lived project that I haven't picked back up. But hey, if you need CB on general, reach out to patches at ligmaballs@eatmeunion.un because I think it'd be funny. For real inquiries on work for Controlled Burn, Heirophant and Marshal are your best bet.

((ooc: I don't have a personal blog, but I'm Mercie (she/her) the person behind @paragonofpromise.))

[cb-patches]

biologist here!

no one knows what the fuck a cow is because people tend to look at anything that can produce nutrition while still being alive and also is a food source and go "cow, got it"

i used to be a xenobotanist by trade and do you know how many unrelated plants are "trees"

this is why people usually use long fancy science names if they're trying to be specific

also fuck you aswang you know cows have 6 legs

I specifically design a weapon NOT to kill people and instead keep them alive in their INTACT cockpits and this is the thanks I get? Telling me cows are some slug creature you scrape the goop off of? Bullshit

I'm going to start a forest fire

[cb-patches]

no union is gonna use you for the cow stuff they told me

👍

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

you should desert your boss said your so dogshit that their trading you for the cows

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

no its totally real and your mom said you should quit so she can tell you that shes replacing you with a new kid that i made out of the cows union stole

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

no we did light that forest on fire on purpose and then got yelled at about it even though it was totally justified :(

I specifically design a weapon NOT to kill people and instead keep them alive in their INTACT cockpits and this is the thanks I get? Telling me cows are some slug creature you scrape the goop off of? Bullshit

I'm going to start a forest fire

[cb-patches]

i fed cow nutrient paste to your mom and she also died instantly. i had to feed her a hearty hunk of cow meat to cure her so we could finish our date.

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

i ate cow nutrient paste once and it killed me instantly

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

well you see the nutrient paste is made of poison that makes your brain bad and the meat cures everything

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

What do you union people even do with all of those cattle anyways?

[cb-patches]

It's such a shame Harrison II died from Goblin

[cb-patches]

ooc: HEY I RECOGNIZE THAT GOBLIN

You I beg you please how do you do cool stuff with retrograde minis like that I’m begging you tel me

Okay, so if you're referring to photobashed edits like this Amber Phantom that I made for a bit, the process is actually pretty simple!

Basically what I do most of the time is use some light editing to get the detailed coloration I want in spite of Retrograde's more limited color tools. To do it you'll need premium membership on Retrograde and a photo editing tool (I personally use Pixlr, not because it's good but because it's what I'm used to and it's free).

For starters, you'll want to make and download a token which has all the parts you can edit tuned to the color that'll take up the majority of that part, so while this one is mostly in silver, the cloak can be in black and the glows can be in blue to save some time.

Then you'll wanna follow that up by getting some alts with the parts you want to edit tuned to the other colors you want to use. The one I did was pretty simple, so all I needed was one in scarlet and one in a darker grey.

Then you'll wanna open the base sprite up in your editing tool of choice, and place the one using the color you want to add in a layer behind the primary color. Then select the top layer and take your pick of a fine-brush eraser tool or the lasso tool to start erasing the parts off of the top that you wanna turn into the secondary color (So I erased the inner "muscle" parts off of the silver upper layer to reveal the red underneath!) When you finish with a color, merge the layers, add in the next color behind the result and repeat until it's done!

I personally find that it's helpful to mentally break a mech down into layers, so we have that internal layer in red, the main plating in silver then a few joints and external bits in the default grey.

If you wanna get a little more ambitious, you can also edit stuff in with paint tools or edit pieces of other mechs and sprites onto your design! I don't do a ton of that stuff myself, but I do occasionally do a touch of something unique like the "wings" on my friend's weird goblin design.

[cb-patches]

ask them about their interests!!! a lot of people don't bother with NHPs and its a good way to show you care. a lot of people treat them like tools, not people, and it might be that your offer of go fish is being taken less as a token of interest and more as a request to entertain you.

//Kingfisher

Any tips on becoming friends with an NHP? My usual strat of offering to play Go Fish isn't working.

[cb-patches]

oh! osiris (it really likes the mythological associations w the name what can i say) doesn't have to answer my emails, it chooses to of its own accord.

now, that being said, most of what it replies to that kind of tone is uh. resembling active malware

Hard recommend letting OSIRIS respond to your email if you want people to actually pay attention to your preferred method of contact