cerebralabyss

[cerebralabyss]

hello. i have not opened tumblr in over 6 months lol

i’m alive, i don’t know how many of my mutuals remember me but hi

i’ve had personal shit going on that made me too anxious to come on here. i’ve thought about coming back many times, but just never really had the time to do it between having a job and being involved in local shit and having a family. i miss having a corner of the internet to hang out in when the real world gets boring (winter sucks lol)

i’m making a new account, unsure if i’ll link it here. i want to leave this account as it is, a time capsule of an old chapter of my life. it was a hard choice to make because i wanted to keep my side blogs but it ees what it ees

if you dm me/send me an ask i’ll probably give you the new blog though. i’m staying logged in here for a bit longer

i think that’s about it. thanks for reading, see you around. :]

- 🥀

[cerebralabyss]

had to unlike a post of yours just now because i set it to 666 and I'm like NOPE back to 665 you go !!!!

- 🥀

[cerebralabyss]

i don't think i'll ever get used to that feeling of pure happiness when the people around me acknowledge my system/plural identity .. in a good way, of course.

it's just not the same as someone remembering things about you collectively. it tells me that i matter to those people enough for them to remember and recognize me as different people.

whether its "subtle" like how my partner tends to greet us by our specific name when we text them, or a friend being able to remember things a specific alter said/did as an individual. or more specific things, like the times our boyfriend/partner sys forgot for a second we aren't in separate bodies. and how he sends us random images near daily captioned "this is so (alter name)"

really, no matter how subtle it is, we do notice. and it makes us just as happy every single time. every little thing adds up and makes us feel happy and comfortable being "we" and not "i."

plural validation matters!! whether coming from a non-system or another plural, it all means a lot.

this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks, oops. i remembered it because another friend specifically wanted to show reffy something because they knew he’d appreciate it (they said “get the goober” lol) and it made us both really happy. so i wanted to add that.

- 🥀

[cerebralabyss]

happy weed day. best day of the year.

- 🥀

[cerebralabyss]

hhaving multiple mc accounts 4 ur hedmates when uu play on servers iss fun awa :3 EXCEPT 4 WEHN THEY BREAK IN2 UR HOUSE N STEAL RANDUM FOOD!!!! AN EAT IT RIGHT IN UUR FACE!!!! >.<

we r playing modded btw das why there r patties cuz farmers delight nwn mew

- 🎀

[cerebralabyss]

ok i’m posting this cuz im rly curious if any other systems experience this,, n if they kno why they do?? cuz ion see it talked abt aa lot (if not EVER!!) n i think iss interesting !! ^u^

so i first started tracking mmy switches in umm,, 2022? n ii hav a generalized idea of who was fronting when before too!! (jus based off context stuf :3)

something ii notice is that,, our fronting/switching patterns hhave been consistently seasonal? like,, reffy is alwaysss the primary host in april, ramen gets frontstuck for like aa week in july, nuni comes out of dormancy briefly in august/september n again in december, dire fronts easiest in january,, etc etc

even tho i’ve been able 2 develop rly good control over mmy switches this past year thru dissociation management it hasn’t changed this pattern!! so iss almost moreso related 2 when aan alter is/isn’t active ? and ion got any idea why!! >__<;; so i jus wondering if anyone else experiences dis sorta thing n if they kno anything moar abt it !! i crave knowledge hehehe >:3c

- 🔪

[cerebralabyss]

when he misbehaves he gets put in the DOG CRATE!!!

- 🖤

[cerebralabyss]

04.14.2020 | 4 yrs

didn’t have time to draw shit this year … so i’m just putting together some of the more significant things i’ve drawn over the past ~2.5 yrs. not in chronological order at all

it’s weird thinking about the fact its been 4 years. it simultaneously feels so long, yet so short. i couldn’t imagine a life without you. and yet, this is just the beginning.

i love you.

@dreamingofcecilias

- 🥀

two personal posts in a row. cry about it.

[cerebralabyss]

henlo greetings :3 name is noxious (nox 4 short)!! iss my public debut 2day /silly

split a while ago but actually realized on 04.06.2024 >u<

- 🔪

wowa u clicked read more ?!? thas cwaaaazy x3 more info mainly 4 ourself to look back on buut also for anyone (probly moots :3) interested!!

my pronouns rn (V SUBJECT 2 CHANGE!!!) are it/he ,, i’m a smol hybrid creechur (mostly kitty n a notable amnt of dogge hehe)

i’m not much mmore than a “”memory��” holder atm but i’m kina the main host 4 now ?? ik we have 4 & 1/2 hosts now iss WIILLDD!!!

i didn’t split from anyone specific (v much a traumagenic split eeg) but i’m part of the EP hemisystem!!! i plan 2 integrate into reffy’s subsystem in da future when it makes sense 2 do so!! i’m aa lot like him already so it’ll b good ^u^ it actually took us aa while 2 notice i wasn’t him wawgawshwa

atm im just being treated as reffy’s evil clonee >:3 except we r all already evil /lh so im not that diffrent

das all 4 now!! if u read this umm ur gay /lh pos x3

[cerebralabyss]

Reblog if you're bored and you want anons.

Or non-anons. Whatever works for you!

[cerebralabyss]

if i had to use an image to represent my system itd b this tbh

- 🖤

[cerebralabyss]

i met some ppl @ a bar/punk show w my partner and i introduced myself w my collective name (remiel) as per usual but they misheard me and heard the “rem” as “RAM” which is MY (shortform) SPECIFIC NAME AS AN ALTER!! it was a weirdly validating moment and i ended up saying SCREW IT and i got 2 use my name for the night n it was a v small thing that made me happy :3

i did end up explaining i had multiple names so it wasn’t confusing 4 the future, and it makes me think u know what ? maybe i should be more open abt my plurality right off the bat,, cuz why should i bother spending time w ppl who dont accept me 4 who i am!! X)

- 🖤

[cerebralabyss]

btw when i say “sorry my demons” after saying the most OUTLANDISH AND ABSURD THINGS KNOWN 2 MAN the “demons” im referring 2 is actually just ,, that one alter

- 🖤

[cerebralabyss]

i think the internal happenings between headmates of nearly any plural system would make a good sitcom. i mean, i think we've all had that experience where someone says/does the dumbest shit and an alter does that Look At The Camera thing out of the office.

-🥀

[cerebralabyss]

ii grinded 2 max this out just cuz i wanted black kibty paw badge mew :3

- 🎀

[cerebralabyss]

reclaiming the term “evil alter” for myself. because being evil is awesome, actually.

- 🥀

[cerebralabyss]

in-system bonding can be anything

even having heated discussions over the quality of meme compilations for over an hour

mhm, such quality time we are having

- 🧸