chaossery

[chaossery]

Ahhh I love that dark prompt list!! How about something shorter for:

¹¹⁾ a chair jammed under a doorhandle 

Thank you for the prompt! I went unhinged and pretty uncomfortable with this one, but I found it really inspiring. Apologies if it goes a bit too far. Canonverse, Tomura POV, content warning for AFO being absolutely disgusting. Nonconsensual voyeurism + other things I’m bad at describing. Dark.

There are no locked doors in Sensei’s house.

Tomura’s not even sure it is a house. When he was younger, he’d get lost in here, wandering barefoot on cold concrete floors for what felt like hours, until Sensei found him or he found his way back to somewhere familiar. There’s no part of this place Tomura’s banned from. He can go anywhere he wants, touch anything he’d like to touch. Even in Sensei’s study. That took some getting used to. Tomura was so scared the first time Sensei found him there that he almost threw up.

But Sensei smiled. Sensei always smiles for Tomura. Go on, he said, and gestured to the entire room. All the books and maps, computer screens and case files and things Tomura didn’t have names for. It’s all for you.

No locks, no limits, no rules. Tomura almost never hears the word “no”. But it goes the other way, too. Tomura might not hear “no”, but he doesn’t get to say it, either.

At first that was okay with Tomura. He was so happy to hear yes instead of no that it didn’t matter that he had to say yes, too. Now Tomura wishes he’d heard no a little more often. He wishes he’d said it more often. If he had, he wouldn’t have been so fucking surprised when he asked Sensei to take the cameras out of his bedroom and bathroom and Sensei said no.

Tomura hadn’t known the cameras were there, at least not until yesterday, when Sensei mentioned that he wasn’t happy with how Tomura’s been spending his downtime. Tomura thought he was talking about the gaming. “I’m doing better,” he said. “I haven’t wrecked my monitor in months.”

Sensei waved him off. “I’m talking about the pornography,” he said, and Tomura’s stomach lurched. “The time you spend on masturbation could be better spent elsewhere.”

Tomura’s face went instantly, horribly red. It took everything he had not to bring up his hands to hide it. He wanted to be sick. He wanted to run away. He wanted to claw his neck apart until he hit bone, and Sensei wouldn’t stop looking at him. How long had Sensei been looking at him? “You saw me?”

“Of course,” Sensei said. “It’s important to be aware of all aspects of my successor’s life.”

“Not that.” Tomura said the words, but his mind was down a thousand dark corridors, thinking about what Sensei must have seen and heard and watched him do. Seen Tomura clicking through videos, looking for the right ones. Seen what Tomura thinks the right ones are. Seen Tomura squirming in his bed, his legs shaking, his hands frantic as he jerks himself off. Seen him roll over onto his face afterward, relaxed for once, feeling good for once. Imagining another pair of hands touching him, some faceless, nameless person who wants him and wants him to feel good and wants to see it —

Tomura wants that. If he wants that, what business did he have telling Sensei to stop watching him? None, probably. But he said it anyway. “I don’t want you to watch me. Stop.”

Sensei smiled at Tomura. Tomura’s skin crawled. “No,” he said, almost gently. “In order to teach you properly, I need to know everything. Once you think about it, I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Did he need to know everything? Was Tomura wrong for wanting to keep some things to himself? The question kept Tomura up at night, all night, unable to sleep or eat, unable to do anything knowing Sensei was watching it all. By morning he came around to the truth. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Sensei does need to see. But Tomura isn’t going to let him see anything more.

There are no locked doors in Sensei’s house. Tomura jams a chair beneath the door handle, drags his desk halfway in front of it for good measure, and starts taking his room apart. He doesn’t know where the cameras are, or what they look like, but he’ll destroy everything in his room before he’ll let Sensei watch him for another night.

“Tomura,” Sensei says from outside the door, and Tomura slams his fist against a bookcase so hard that his knuckles crack, “don’t you think this is a little absurd?”

Tomura doesn’t answer him. The thought of Sensei listening to him is awful, but there’s something worse about seeing, something Tomura can’t live with. Sensei’s knock at the door grows more insistent. “Let me in.”

“No.”

“Tomura.” Sensei tsks at him, almost reproving. “When have I ever said no to you?”

Tomura squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t care what you said.”

Part of him is scared. He’s never seen Sensei get angry, but he knows it’s there somewhere, because something is always there. What’s Sensei going to do to him for saying no? It could be awful. It probably will be. But it’s not going to be worse than this. Tomura knows that for sure.

By the time Sensei gets the door open, Tomura’s room is completely bare. There’s nowhere left for a camera to hide, and as Sensei looks around, his response makes Tomura cringe. “I’m proud of you,” he says, smiling. “You’ve learned to channel your anger and embrace your true nature. I’ll have to think of a suitable reward.”

“No more cameras,” Tomura says, his voice rattling, and Sensei laughs.

It happens again, and again. Sensei replaces Tomura’s things, and Tomura destroys them again, and Sensei’s always proud of him. And when Sensei loses his fight with All Might and comes back with empty eye sockets in a ruined face, Tomura decides that there’s one thing and one thing only that he doesn’t hate All Might for.

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summer treat

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Ur event got me thinking you absolutely don't need to use this as part of the job fair but garbage man tomura 🤤🤤

You need to see the vision him in his neon vest sweaty and tired coming home to his work from home office girly girlfriend I can't decide if the dynamic is "let me shower you demon" and feral y/n or "go shower you stink" and "no I want a goddamn kiss"

I'm on such a tomura shigaraki kick lately I'm loving the job fair and the new tomura content and as always you're fucking amazing ruru 🙏🙏🫐

highkey i was so excited for this LMAO i needed something silly sooooo baaddd hi blooby this is damn near a self insert bc i am Pro Shower First or get hosed down in the front lawn

garbage man!tomura // job fair

event m.list

as you hear the door swing open and hit the wall behind it, you suddenly have the thought that you should’ve locked yourself in another room until you heard the shower running.

“tomu?” you call out from the kitchen.

there’s a brief moment of silence. you try to hear for clothes dropping onto the floor- hopeful that he’d listen to you and just leave his work uniform to be dealt with later. he’d get his kiss and everyone would be happy.

then he steps around the corner. uniform on, vest and gloves slung over his shoulder, and hair pulled up into a messy ponytail.

“no,” you warn, moving around the kitchen island for the distance.

“are you fucking serious right now?” he whines, moving around the island in which you proceed to follow around, leaving you two on opposing sides.

he gives you a deadpan expression, unbelieving of this cat and mouse game you’ve set up for yourselves in your kitchen.

“i told you i was,” you groaned, “i don’t want to kiss you right now. go shower and then i will after.”

“I just got off an eight hour shift. physical labor. in the sun. i deserve a kiss.”

you nod your head, “yes i agree, and i’ll give you a really good one when you’re clean.”

tomura is tempted to throw a glove in your direction and see how quickly you’d scurry away, but he could already see your fingertips twitching for the sink’s hose if he made any sudden movements.

you two are stuck in a staring contest for a minute, waiting for the other to make the next move. 

“just a kiss.”

“no.”

“hold your fucking breath if you have to,” he exasperated.

“take off your clothes.”

a beat of silence passes between you two.

tomura presses his lips together in a tight line. normally with a request like that, he doesn’t have to be asked twice, but with the current circumstances and how much you’ve irritated him today before even getting home from work, you’re at a standstill.

“come take them off for me,” he taunts.

you narrow your eyes at him as he shrugs his vest and gloves to the ground. tomura holds his arms out for you, motioning for you to come closer with a shit-eating smirk on his face knowing that he knows exactly how to lure you in.

you pout.

your boyfriend is a hard worker. he has to deal with your antics. he’s tired. he just wants some love.

you slowly move your way around the kitchen island, and let yourself touch his outreached hands. you interlock your fingers with his at arm's length, hoping that this bit of physical touch is enough to satiate him.

“is this good enough?” you mutter.

“yeah.” he smirks, “this is good.”

tomura’s grip tightens. you feel him tense up, but his smile never leaves his face. he suddenly jerks you into him in one movement that almost makes you trip over yourself. in a second, you’re engulfed into his arms, tightly held chest to chest, and locked in an embrace that leaves you screaming.

“looks like you’re getting in the shower with me,” he mutters in between your wails.

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Bread time

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guilmon!!

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Bubble Gum & Cotton Candy

Tomura Shigaraki x gn reader

Carnival Date

I've written a lot of smut lately so I decided to do a cute date series too. there's an undertone of angst here but I think they'll mostly be fluffy. Feel free to send date ideas.

Bubblegum and cotton candy: that's what you tasted like that night. You were trying a new chapstick, one he'd probably be allergic to but he'd never tell you that. The flavor engulfed him and he'd do anything to stay like this forever. The softness of your lips against his, your combined spit forming strings between you only to break moments later. Connecting you together in some fucked up metaphor for everything he was terrified of.

Tomura laced three fingers through yours as you pulled him to the ferris wheel. Gripping your hand like you'd disappear if he let up for a single second. The brightly lit stalls blurred in his peripheral vision. Clouds of rainbow balloons. Giant plush animals. Salty sweet aromas all around you. But no, not yet. You were on a mission - eyes glued to the turning wheel of lights ahead.

Dust hovered around your ankles as you skidded to a stop at the gate. Your smile, your beautiful smile, flashed in his direction. Time stood still and he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. Moments later, a wad of crumpled tickets were presented to the attendant and the two of you were ushered forward.

Up.

The sudden movement made you pull him closer. Shoulder over shoulder. Face to face. Your soft skin brushing into his, burning everywhere you touched in the best possible way. And when his lips finally found yours, he kissed you like it could be the last time. Savoring the taste of you as you floated through the night sky.

Late summer hung in the air. A warm wind tousled your hair with the lingering promise of colder days ahead. But that day, everything remained comfortable for a little longer. It was perfect.

And as the ferris wheel turned to bring you back to solid ground, his stomach was weightless at the thought of it being over. This is how a memory ends, he thought.

But you never left his side.

Kissing on the ferris wheel until you ran out of tickets. Pulling him by the hand through crowds of people, but he only remembers you that night.

m.list

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Quick anatomy study with Tomura

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You held your breath. One moment. Two. After all, what was the point of breathing if it didn't put air in your lungs? The world moved too fast in front of your eyes and surrounding your ears. You were in a turbid, fleeting river and you were going to drown.

You didn't get overstimulated to the point of shutting down often. This was occasional enough that you hadn't felt the need to tell your boyfriend what to do when you got like this.

There was a weight on your wrist as Tomura dragged you somewhere quieter, his form blurry at the edge of your vision.

"Can you talk?"

Your tongue felt glued to the roof of your mouth. You shook your head no.

Cursing under his breath, his fingers tightened on your wrist as he pulled out his phone with his other hand.

"The next train is in seventeen minutes. We can make it if we hurry."

You managed to nod weekly. He seemed to be mimicking what you did when he got too stressed. Get him home—get him safe.

The train ride back was a blur—Tomura's arm around your back served as the only thing grounding you over every bump and jostle from the train. Luckily, the other passengers seemed to stay away, perhaps due to Tomura's constant glowering.

Your shared apartment was blissfully silent as Tomura opened the door, the sound of his keys jingling like knives cutting through the air.

"Go lay down on the couch, I'll be there in a sec."

The couch, old and secondhand, was soft under your touch as you laid down. You felt the cold air of the apartment prickle your skin for a second, before Tomura laid on top of you—your weighted blanket for the next few hours.

Slowly, your breathing evened out. Your heart rate slowed. After twenty minutes, you managed to lift your head, placing a chaste kiss on the top of Tomura's head.

"I love you," you whispered.

He smiled, lopsided and soft. "I love you too."

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Catharsis

This was imagined as a spin-off of @codenamesazanka ‘s beautiful AU, but I guess it could be read as some kind of continuation to my own “A gift”. After all, the theme is kinda the same. What? I’m really fascinated by those hands.

A brief summary of the AU: All Might manages to kill Afo on the first try, and Tomura and Kurogiri are captured. After the 15 yo boy spends months in Tartarus, finally Toshinori decides to take action and get the boy out to reform him himself, even though at the cost of gradual retirement. It’s a rough path. But wounds heal, with time and patience.

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also another quick style study which somehow took vol. 25 colors and theme half-way through

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Something that catches my eye whenever I reread the USJ arc is Tomura's extreme reaction to Nomu being defeated and hurled away by All Might – his pure shock, rage, and desire to avenge him.

I'm sure this reaction is at least partly because of Mon-chan.

Sure, one could argue that Tomura just lost his most valuable subordinate (minus Kurogiri), his trump card to beat All Might out of existence so, of course, he's upset and enraged.

Yet, I like to imagine that Nomu subconsciously reminded Tomura of Mon-chan. And I guess there are certain parallels; Nomu shielded him from All Might's and Deku's attacks the same way Mon-chan tried to protect him from his abusive father. Nomu was completely loyal to him just like Mon-chan used to be.

Also, later in the story, after Tomura has access to his once-repressed memories again, we see that he's still very attached to Mon-chan. I find it really sweet that even after all these years and all the pain and abuse he was put through Tomura still very much loves his doggo.

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Been thinking about the book Spinner wrote. I'm not an expert at comic books (and perhaps it's just my bias speaking), but to me it looks like Spinner didn't create a comic book after all, therefore flouting Midoriya's suggestion.

Which, for me, feels like one big middle finger towards Midoriya, not only by Spinner but also by Horikoshi himself. Why draw our attention to Deku advising Spinner to turn the (mis)adventures of the League of Villains into a comic, if, in the end, Spinner writes a regular book after all, just as he originally planned.

I'm really starting to think that Horikoshi isn't all that fond of his protagonist (anymore?).

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Touya Todoroki lays in bed, surrounded in what his family now calls “love.” He’s not sure if that’s the word he’d use, but he hasn’t found a better one yet. His father, sitting to the left of his hospital bed, continues on another self-obsessed tirade – apologies spliced in every other word. He’s heard it all before.

Sure, Endeavor changed. Touya doesn’t doubt it. That’s great, it really is.

Still, it won’t erase the past. There’s a reason he’s here, in this hospital bed with locks on the doors and bar over the windows. No one lands themselves in this place by accident.

His family leaves, mumbling their goodbyes as visitation time ends. They'll be back tomorrow, his mom assures him. A team of nurses and medical assistants enter, like clockwork.

"Love you son," Endeavor says, teary-eyed on the way out the door. "See you tomorrow."

Touya has no response.

“You don’t have to be so harsh, you know,” one of the nurses scolds while adjusting the curtains, “he said he’s sorry.”

“You’re lucky to have such a supportive dad,” another chimes in, “especially after everything you did.”

Everything I did, he thinks. Sometimes Touya wonders if they’d say these things if Endeavor had been anyone else. But then again, if he’d had any other father he probably wouldn’t have ended up here, stuck listening to everyone lecture him every time he rolls his eyes or looks disinterested in what the former number one hero has to say. 

“I know it’s hard, you went through a lot,” says the last one to enter the room. Finally, someone with some sense, Touya thinks. Unfortunately, it’s short lived. “He’s trying so hard though, you could at least make the effort to forgive him. You owe him that.”

It takes everything in him to not yank his arm away as they draw blood. Touya doesn’t owe anyone shit. Isn’t it punishment enough to be stuck in here every day, endlessly subjected to a nonstop parade of people insisting he simply let go of everything that’s ever happened to him? He wonders at what age his experience became invalid at the face of his father’s personal growth. Or if he ever mattered in any of this. 

The sun begins to settle into a golden hue on the other side of his barred windows. Trees sway in a gently breeze. A beautiful world, always just out of reach.

Something tells him it’s always been that way.

[chaossery]

I can strongly relate to a lot of criticism surrounding Horikoshi's panorama art from two weeks ago – stuff like Spinner's and Mr Compress' designs not having changed at all in contrast to all the other characters that are still alive eight years later (implying they might have died just like Tomura, Dabi, Himiko, Twice, and Kurogiri?), Magne, Chisaki, Pops, the Shie Hassaikai, the MLA, Tenkos family (minus Nana and Mon-chan) etc. not being there at all, Hagakure's outfit…

As for myself, I don't find it in me anymore to be upset about that stuff. I can relate to the criticism, but I don't care anymore. It's business as usual with Horikoshi.

After that mess of an ending, I just don't give a damn about Horikoshi's opinion anymore, whether he thinks Spinner and Mr. Compress should die like the rest of the League or not, whether the League deserves happiness in the afterlife or eternal pain and suffering in hell.

BNHA's ending made me lose any respect I used to have for Horikoshi as a writer. And even if the panorama art gave no cause for even the tiniest complaint, it wouldn't undo all the damage the ending has done. It wouldn't change that BNHA (at least to me) is a failed story and a narrative sellout, and no artwork in the world, no matter how amazing, gorgeous, and breathtaking, could ever wipe the slate clean again. At most, all Horikoshi can do now is indulge in damage control – and even therein, he's failing miserably, constantly screwing over himself trying to please the fans that are screaming the loudest and/or spending the most money (aka the BakuDekus and the right-wing dudebros).

By now, I just try to concentrate on the stuff I like (the League smiling together, Himiko's adorable grin, Mon-chan, the Spinaraki food) and think about how I can use it in fics, headcanons, etc.

I guess, that goes for BNHA as a whole, actually; I kinda treat it like a huge buffet – I take what I like and ignore what I hate. I enjoy Horikoshi's art (which is still top-notch) and flout his crappy writing. I don't feel bound to his writing. No one should.

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Touch the sky, child of destruction.

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The chubby Lycanroc scene. (I love that it still has the sweet personality it had as a Rockruff tho!)

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The prickliest rose out there!