chaoswithinthemind

[chaoswithinthemind]

If one more person talks shit about trans women I AM GOING TO FUCKING BITE THEM

BRO IM AFAB AND NON-BINARY. EVEN THOUGH I DONT IDENTIFY AS A WOMAN I KNOW WOMANHOOD IN MY BONES. MEN, WE DON’T EXIST TO MAKE YOUR DICK HARD! WE LOOK HOW WE PLEASE AND WE LIVE TO MAKE OURSELVES HAPPY!! WOMEN ARE NOT FOR YOU. WE ARE FOR US. OURSELVES. nobody cares if you don’t find us attractive. When was the last time someone found you attractive? Do you feel attractive? Do you actually feel happy in where you are in life? Is this your purpose? Shitting on people who already struggle enough? Jesus, what a pathetic purpose. You could be something beautiful and you waste your time living so ugly. Your hatred will never make you loved, only feared. But can you really tell the difference? Do you want to?

[chaoswithinthemind]

(with the same enthusiasm as ‘hit it’)

WAIL IT, JEFF BUCKLEY!

[chaoswithinthemind]

everything looks like a nail when you've got a hammer and every song is actually about the character when they're on your mind 24/7

[chaoswithinthemind]

everything looks like a nail when you've got a hammer and every song is actually about the character when they're on your mind 24/7

[chaoswithinthemind]

Listing all the job-hunt related misfortune I have gone through as a 2025 high-school graduate

THE RESPONSES I EXPECTED:

•Denied

•Ignored

THE RESPONSES I DID NOT EXPECT:

•I walked into a place and gave my information. They told me that they would call me later that day. They did not.

•I tapped on a website to apply and it redirected me to a whole different company not even in my state.

•Job application claimed the job was in my area. It was not. •I made it through the application process and scheduled an interview! I was ecstatic until they canceled it an hour later without any explanation. •I made it through the application process and was told to schedule an interview! I selected one of the times available and was told the calendar was totally booked, but that they’d return to me when the calendar was open. They returned, gave me new times and was somehow still entirely booked. This process has happened about 3-4 times, now.

•I was told a place was hiring, so I applied. They told me to call after applying, so I did. They told me to discuss it with the hiring manager the next day, so I did. What happened? “Whoever told you we were hiring was not correct.”

and so… soo…. sooooooooo much more. I’m trying my absolute damndest to get a job. I’ve been applying to jobs every day since I turned 18, most of which have entirely ignored me. A few responses I got were just being denied. I expected to be ignored and denied but I wasn’t expecting to have my hopes brought up only to be shattered repeatedly like this. I want to work. I want to be able to live my life instead of being a drain on my parents. Nobody is fucking hiring.

[chaoswithinthemind]

the skull did what no skull ever should

...

It cleared its throat

-

BLUE AND BLACK FROM EDGE TO EDGE- The Narcissist Cookbook

[chaoswithinthemind]

Sharing my 'alarm clock/leave on loop until I move every day' favorite! ❤️ 🫂❤️‍🩹

[chaoswithinthemind]

Love it when the OC lore finds its way back to me unprompted

bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

[chaoswithinthemind]

I am sitting in my living room, waiting for the world to fall apart. Endless stories are being played out on my screen, but I know lives beyond forever are being cut short in every instance. Every mere second. I feel a knot in my chest - not in my throat, but burrowed between my shoulder blades and nestled through the cracks of my ribs and when I breathe, the air fills with this tension that never entirely leaves. Which, I suppose is customary in these times where uncertainty and fear are the pitchforks pushing us back into our silent confinements because those who don’t speak may become the lucky ones who get to be blind while the outliers are slaughtered but at least we’re alive. But I don’t want to be one of the silent ones. I want to see the people who have ripped the flesh from their faces because others tried to glue, sew or staple their eyes and mouths shut. I want my existence to feel as alive and passionate as those who are bravely burning. I want to be flesh and nerve instead of this skin that tries to claim our species is anything but the same, so that others know I’m not shamefully or shamelessly blind because, in the end, those who regretted their averted gazes can’t be differentiated from those who were proud they skewered the light from their eyes so violently, they only have empty sockets. I want my time to be more than just complicity. I want to assist in what I know would be greater than I ever will because life is beautiful and everyone who comes after us deserves to see that beauty. Instead, I’m stuck in not just the walls of my own madness but the fields and the planes of inaction because I have not the money or resources to meet everyone else on every generational bloodstained battlefield with the weaponry to fight or the remedies to heal. Nor do I have the bravery to show up empty handed, knowing that I will only scream for merely a moment before being forced silent because I am not just weak, but defenseless because my fear has stolen my strength from me. I have been afraid for so many reasons, for so much of this life I was born forsaking. And, now that I have found reasons to desire and enjoy what was my right since I started existing, I am so afraid of losing the possibility that I will be okay. Even as I think this, I chastise myself, knowing that being lucky and blind only works if you’re too cruel to not see how unlucky everyone else is. I wish for a happiness that won’t ever be unless everyone has it. So there is no point in believing in it. And, if there’s no point in believing in it, why do I allow myself to forget the horrors of our reality on a regular basis? Why do I allow myself a very fortunate escape when others don’t have that? And how am I supposed to move forward from these thoughts when I know stress and anguish with no action doesn’t do anything but kill me in the process? Why can’t I be endlessly brave enough to willingly throw myself into the fire because maybe others will be okay, and why can’t I be cruel enough to dig my head into the sand because maybe I will be okay? Why do I have to be this terrible mix of afraid yet knowing and wondering yet present? But what do I know, anyway? I’m just some dumb 18-year-old, fresh out of high-school, searching for any scraps a job can offer, all while sitting in my living room feeling like the world will fall apart. And all I can do is breathe and hope it won’t, because that is all I can do at this very second. I have to hope we’re going to be okay.

[chaoswithinthemind]

I’m really glad prophetic dreams aren’t like a Thing because like. If the song I dreamt that sang “Murder come murder, murder come may” and “when does the world come cleansed of you” was a prophecy, I think we’d all probably be more fucked than we already are

[chaoswithinthemind]

Hey. Come here. A bit closer. Heed my tales, for it will serve you better than you have served yourself. if you feel the urge to make Mac & cheese with chocolate milk

and top it with a drizzle of chocolate syrup

don’t. The demon will delightfully whisper chocolate at the back of your throat after the cheese has passed. By this point, it’s too late. You can’t undo the storm you’ve wrought upon yourself. You don’t suffer progress.. you moron…

[chaoswithinthemind]

god forbid my body and I ever agree on something. I go to bed late, you yell at me the next morning and force me to sleep in. I go to bed early and you either suffocate me in my sleep or I don’t get any sleep, period. What’s it gonna take to please you???

[chaoswithinthemind]

I could never be a lizard. More specifically, I could never be a lizard with a tail. I’d be dropping that tail SO often purely from my thoughts. I’d just be a weird tail-less lizard running around.

[chaoswithinthemind]

EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO AND LISTEN TO MYTH BY THE NARCISSIST COOKBOOK RIGHT NOW . HOLY SHIT

[chaoswithinthemind]

Very depressing how Orpheus gets a dad, a mentor, and a wingman all in one and Eurydice just gets three women telling her to kill herself

[chaoswithinthemind]

[chaoswithinthemind]