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Writer: Akiyoshi Rikako. Publisher @penerbitharu . "Pasti Itsumi menggunakan kekuatan terakhirnya untuk menaril bunga lily dari pot. Untuk menunjukkan kepadaku siapa penjahat sebenarnya. 'Yang membunuhku adalah perempuan dengan harum bunga lily.' Yang mendorong Itsumi dari teras adalah Koga Sonoko." - Nitani. . "Bagiku dia hanya pencuri pengecut. Bunga itu adalah dying message dari Itsumi untukku. Bunga itu menunjukkan siapa pelaku sebenarnya." - Akane. . "Kebencian Takaoka-san pada Itsumi sangat hebat. Itsumi sudah memberitahukan kepada kita siapa penjahat sebenarnya." - Diana. . I saw there was a key that will lead you to the answer. And you should keep in mind that everything is not what it seems. #bookhaul #yalit #bookstagram #bookworm https://www.instagram.com/p/BqmGpK3FF6M/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19hpx1z9zf86t

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Maaf. Salahku. Maaf...

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Do you know what is the most pathetic thing? you can't cry while you want to, while you need to.

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Worst

I should be happy because I lost my weight. Quite much. Yeah, it's supposed to be a good thing but not for now I think. My brain keep thinking, even when I'm sleeping. People said that the best sleep is sleeping without any dreams, right? I admit it, honestly, these past 7 months (hahh.. I've just realized I wasted my 7 months with nothing) I was and still, in my worst condition. Even worse than, I think, the worst condition.

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Sometimes when you know something bad is going to happen, you get this strange feeling. And that's kind of how I felt mixed with something else I couldn't really pinpoint.

Fairytopia08 - The Demon King (in Wattpad)

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Just because someone's upset doesn't mean they'll stay that way. If someone is really close with you, you getting upset or them getting upset is okay, and they don't change because of it.... It happens. You deal with it.

Sarah Dessen - Just Listen

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It was 2012 New Year eve when I promised myself that I will forget him. I will move on. No doubt. And I did it. I had completely done it. And it is Eid Mubarak eve when I really try to forget you and move on. But I still have doubts. I even can't promise myself..

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WHEN A BOOK GETS TOO EMOTIONAL

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I don't know I just want to cry

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#NowPlaying Peluk by Dewi Lestari, Aqi "Alexa"

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What I love about the old city is the classical value. It's beautiful to me. When I go somewhere, I usually spare my time to visit it. The word "modern" is identical with Jakarta, the skyscapers, the malls, luxurious hotels & apartments... And that's what I thought before I knew about its old city. I was never introduced to this kind of site. When I finally came here, I realized Jakarta still has its original spot, too. . 📍Museum BI. #kotatua #jakarta

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Crying

Sometimes I log into my twitter to look at the past moments of my life. Sometimes it made me laugh, sometimes it made me cringe, sometimes it made me say “Oh My God! Was I that overeacting (read: lebay)?”

Sometimes by looking at your past moments you can learn from it, or it can be your reminder how good you were when you feel bad for yourself. It can be your reminder that people loves and cares about you when you feel insecure. When I’m down, I usually go to ‘favorite’ in my twitter to re read the tweets from my friends and my family when they heard about my accident. It surely can light up my mood and I’ll feel loved again.

I’ve just re read my timeline. I just wrote a few and it’s full of my blog posts. When I scrolled down, I found my tweet it said “I feel like something really bad will come.. a big one.” and then “And oh!  Firasat poped in the playlist. What a creepy situation.” But to be honest, that day I saw everything surround me were covered by something in gray and I had a really bad feeling. I saw everything in gray until I saw it no more or maybe I already used to it so I didn’t realize. Two days later, I got a news that my best friend’s dad has gone.

At the time I got it, I tried my best to hold my tears. I tried my best to act calm because I was in a lab session, but I can’t. I went to lab assistant’s room to get some tissue. At first I just wanted to wipe some tears I had, but when another friend of mine asked me “what’s wrong” I can’t hold it anymore. I cried, It wasn’t silent cry like I used to do, but cried really hard like a child. I had never cried like that. It was the first time since I have no idea when. Even at the day I asked my mom to move to another high school I didn’t cry like that.

I hate it when people see me crying. I even hate it if people know that I’m crying. I also hate it when I’m crying because I feel that I’m weak and vulnerable and pathetic. Maybe that day was an exception. I let my parents know that I was crying. I let my friends see and hear me cry. My lecturer also heard me cry that day he even asked my friend if something wrong happens. The other thing that make me hate crying is when I cry, I can’t stop. That day, I cried literally a whole day and it still can’t stop although my eyes were swollen and hurt and I also had a headache because of it. Right now, I’ve just realized that it’s not crying that make me look pathetic but being unable to cry when I really want to.

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It's strange if you come to Bali but you don't try Balinese food. It was my first time, eh.. I tried nasi jinggo last time 😅, and I fell in love with this nasi campur #kulinerbali

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Because pre wedding photographs are too mainstream, so let's took the pre graduation photographs #tbt

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I don't care, even noticing people's remarks. I don't easily cry, I always press myself to hold the tears. I cry only because of two reasons. I'm deeply hurt or I deeply love that ones.

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Funny

Tonight, I mean not so long ago - last night, I felt like I went back to my life 5 years ago. It was like I’ve been in my critical stage again. People tried to knock me down, or should I say that they humiliated me? Underestimated me?

People never understand me and I don’t have the ability to speak up like the way they like. I strike to the point because chit chating is wasting my energy and my time. I don’t have that smart mouth to please you, to soothe you. I’m different with your lovely, dearly people. I knew you knew that, but you keep trying to change me. I can’t, even if I tried hard. This is me. If I change that, you’ll lose me. I used to think that I want to change, to make people like me. But now, I’d rather lose you all than I lose myself.

Funny is I had a fight with family, I bet on my future, I had this condition just like 5 years ago. it’s quite similar, but the difference is there’s no one who can comfort me. calm me, advise me like it used to. I think, this time I’m broken with no healer.

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This is a house, not a home because I had never found a family in this house.