cherrycokehead-blog - Tumblr blog

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Star Wars fandom is like Christianity. There are so many different reinterpretations and retellings of retellings of retellings that no one is truly satisfied with anything new and yet unshakably loyal. This is why Christians and Star Wars fans are some of the most miserable yet smug assholes on the planet. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Sorry but Alok Vaid-Menon is a fucking insult. I understand and respect that they want to break the binary and gender expectations but they are constantly invited to speak on behalf of trans issues when they in fact are NOT trans. They do not suffer from dysphoria. They are just a person want to break boundaries and capitalizing on the genuine plight of trans people who have suffered. They are an insult and injury to the trans community. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

I’m sure if Abe Lincoln had twitter, he would have had some racist tweets come back to haunt him during the Civil War. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

We all give crap to this generation of assholes because of the internet but I can guarantee if social media existed fifty five years ago, we’d have so many pictures of JFK’s dick. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

I think the main reason we’re obsessed with the eighties nowadays is because they were full of obvious unpretentious villains that were sexist and said “faggot” and hit you where it hurt. Nowadays, everyone is so politically correct and fake polite and do their evils in cognito on the internet or behind people’s backs. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Qui-Gin Should Have Been a Sith

Think about it. Qui-Gon was stubborn and defiant. He insisted that Anakin was important despite no one else thinking so and believing he was too old and dangerous to train. He cheated his way through the podracing bet. Suppose over time, the Jedi found out midichlorians were bullshit which is why they never talk about them in later movies (I imagine it’s like in It’s Always Sunny when Dee was selling Invigaron and had the fake-ass meter used to check stress levels) and Qui Gon bullshitted Anakin’s potential and just sensed his real darkness. 

While we’re at it, they should have cut the Count Dooku role out entirely (sorry Christopher Lee) and made Darth Maul the primary villain besides Palpatine. Shit, Darth Maul was barely in the film and yet he was one of the most iconic and memorable things to come out of the sequels. He deserved more. Qui-Gon and Maul should have been the disciples of Darth Sidious and staged the lightsaber duel (hence the elaborate choreography) and while they were supposed to kill Obi-Wan so Qui-Gon could get a new Padawan, Darth Maul instead betrays and kills him. This would have given Anakin the motivation to seek vengeance, therefore making more sense and being more gratifying when he ultimately kills Darth Maul instead of Dooku. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

The Phantom Menace is the least awful Star Wars prequel. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Before Harry Potter was created, they really should have developed a similar premise for the Star Wars prequels. Instead of cutting to Anakin as a jagweed nineteen year old apprentice, we should have shown him at the Jedi Academy training and showing potential and then slowly be seduced by a shady instructor. At least they kind of went this direction with Kylo Ren. Would have been nice to see though. Better than that bullshit love story. 

[cherrycokehead-blog]

When all your friends get together

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Wait if Ravenclaw is where all the nerds go, why wasn’t Hermione placed there?

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Rewatching Harry Potter

Bruh Dumbledore’s favoritism is blatant. Yeah I know you’re trying to protect Harry so you can ultimately use him in the fight against Voldemort but damn did you have to screw Slytherin out of the House Cup at the last minute? No wonder Malfoy tried to kill you.

[cherrycokehead-blog]

Beyond the obvious time travel plot hole bullshit, I’m pretty sure the McFlys would have had way more kids at different points and would have named their first kid Marty. What are the odds the exact sperm at the exact time during the exact same conception would occur all over again?