chimera-nate

[chimera-nate]

A short scene I wrote while losing my mind. 1 draft, 1 take no edits no rereads, written in the style of "I forced a bot to write" but idk how to use AI, so this is just me, hope you enjoy:

The waffle House Index

Waffle House, circa 4:20 am Tuesday

Woman: Can I get two waffles? Over easy. I like em, like I like my jokes. Undercooked.

Man sits beside her. Asks for the same, but his intestines will be too weak. It's only a matter of time. 

Woman: You know it's funny, being on this side of the counter, giving orders, catching hands, throwing chairs.

Extra starts to complain, but his mouth is full of chair.

Woman: instead of vice versa. Yet people think they can just waltz up and make any unreasonable request. So what do you want, Gregorjeffamew?

Man is choking down incredibly moist waffles. He ordered second, but obtained first. Smelled like privilege. . .or updog.

Woman: Cat got your tongue? Or is it the waffles? Either way you could be be entitled to compensation. Darn cats always taking people's tongues.

Man, swallows, that mistake will be his last.: You really are crazy, just like they said.

Woman, laughs: Am I crazy for seeing the world for how it really is? A slurry of breakfast syrup in an IHOP dumpster pretending to be maple?

Man: we need you. Winter is coming. We think it's Russia’s fault, but you were the best agent we had. If anyone could stop them from stopping the peace talks from stopping the violence in Greenland, it would be you.

Woman lifts plate and eats both waffles wet and butter less: you’re searching in the wrong place. Looking for the cream of the crop, but only found margarine.

Man: do you have information we don't.

Woman: if winter is coming the culprit is obvious. Iceland. I'll find how they do it and put a stop to it. The waffle house always endures.

Suddenly TV displays exposition.

We the people of Greenland are going to cause winter unless the whole world bends the knee and stops tweeting “why are you hitting yourself” about our civil war. And nobody better embark on a one woman mission of baddassery or we will shoot you, and our guns have eaten infinite bullets and moose probably.

Woman: Greenland, my old enemy. Looks like I need to place an order of justice to go. And they will be paying the bill.

Man: are you sure? Won't they have guns and things.

Woman: I'll survive. I'm pretty sure bullets are smaller than chairs.

(Finished 2:36 am Thursday May 15th 2025)

[chimera-nate]

Be me: a dreamer who got Tumblr to make dreams come true

Doesn't touch the app for months

Comes back and its the most beautiful thing since a banananana next to a banananana

Makes a post in a 4chan style.

Profits

Tell me your dreams so I can cheer you on and pass the condensed glory one step further love yall

[chimera-nate]

Just got asked what I think Medusa's fursona would be.

Thoughts?

[chimera-nate]

I got Tumblr to write this pokemon story, sit down kids we are going for a ride.

I never would have left home, if my dad had his way. All the other kids walked around with their new partners, making the last stops before they set off on new adventures. My friends were long gone, our town abandoned. Once you've watched seven generations of children unleashed on the countryside, home feels suffocating. And you do *not* want to hear his policy on dating.

But my mother was a force to reckon with and I didn't know of the compromise that was struck. I simply fell asleep as a child, and awoke as an adult in the eyes of the law. Or a slightly larger child in the eyes of my father. He greeted me at the table with a curt nod. He was a man of few words and fewer expressions, but that face was the most excited I had ever seen him. Giddy as a schoolgirl, he led me out to the shed. We hadn't even had breakfast yet. Doors were thrown wide. The rusty hinges creaked with a painful din.

"Ya know what I always said about those pokey-men?" His gruff voice carrying a jovial tone as he rummaged in the boxes.

"If a rabbit can fight a god, Your insurance doesn't cover it." I quipped, catching a box teetering ominously stop a pile of it's brethren. It was hard to remember that I was big now. 'Cause it seemed I never grew up past ten.

"Darn tootin, and with the news full of stories of new monsters creepin' around yer gunna need to be prepared. So I got you a little something. Just close yer eyes."

This was it. I trusted myself to the darkness, hands outstretched to receive maybe my own god-fighting rabbit. Something heavy and cool fit in my hand, as my father closed his around mine. Steel type perhaps? It fit well. A little too well for any kind of creature. Carefully, I peeked at the silver device in my hand and my stomach sank. It was a Smith and Wesson 45 revolver.

"Dad, what the--"

(to be continued)

[chimera-nate]

SUP GAMER GEESE AND GOBLINS LETS CUT TO THE CHASE.

I got Tumblr for one reason and one reason only, I wanna write goofy stories and I wanna find other goofy stories, but I don't actually know what I'm doing so imma just post until someone tells me what to do.

WIPs that I wanna write for you lovely creatures lemme know if any of these sound good y'all

#1 pokemon, but with a gun, just one though.

#2 paranormal therapist. 'nuff said

#3 Odyssey slice of life of Penelope on Ithaca for the twenty years that stuff was going down.

#4 Circe, Calypso, and Aeolus girlbossing for fun and profit (if Tiresieas is there its fun and prophet)

#5 legend of Zelda anti-Hylia mythology

Yes I'm unwell, but I listen to epic and that has to count for something.

Massive girthy post aside, I'm so happy to be here and to find my people.