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I don't have the motivation to post to instagram T^T idk why instagram just feels so taxing yk??

Like everyone is so obsessed with numbers there and like I get it only big Accounts can actually make money while doing what they love and it really sucks ngl but anyway have this spread ;-;

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Hihi !!! Find the easter egg in this post!

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Like or reblog if you save, sweetheart x

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May I offer you a macaroon in these trying times?

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17.7.17 // pics for your bujo

flower power

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Getting the jelly right took off 20 years of my lifespan

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Roll cake! (≧▽≦)

Okay so let's talk about how Instagram has become a capitalist webspace with no value for creators at all. Like bro we're keeping your app alive and y'all gonna disrespect us like that? That makes no sense.

For those who don't know, with Instagram's latest algorithm update, insta is pushing ppl to pay to promote their posts, by hiding posts and shadowbanning ppl. Many of my friends in the instagram community are facing the same problem and hence are shifting to other platforms

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art from the Russian edition of mdzs

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Mn

my brain 24/7: 

lan wangji voice: wei ying

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Which colour scheme do y'all prefer?

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Everytime I go to bed I wish I'm transported to an isekai

‪Every time I go to bed, I hope that I am transformed into a giant insect in the morning ‬

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I'm not sure how this turned out T^T

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I tried okay

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💖💖💖

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I made a thing!

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Manipulation tactics in apologies

So, this is half writing advice, half life advice.

We all need to be able to recognize when an apology is manipulative, on both a large and small scale. I think we're all aware of the most recent large apology. Quite a few of these apply to that.

But also, feel free to use this as writing advice, too.

Not all of these are necessarily manipulative on their own. If you have apologized to someone for a mistake and done any of these, it doesn't mean you were trying to manipulate them. A lot of these can be completely unintentional. But, put more of them together and take them to more of an extreme, and then you begin to have a problem.

Third person. Especially in reference to the past, using third person to refer to yourself in an apology is a form of detachment. It's dodging the mistake and shifting the blame onto a false 'past self' to avoid taking responsibility.

Hyperbolic self hate. In a casual apology, a little self pity isn't out of place. If you're usually self deprecating, it's normal. It becomes dangerous when it's less like "sorry, I suck at remembering times", and more like "I'm a horrible person, I'm so stupid and terrible and cruel-".

Hyperbolic consequences. On the same note, it's also manipulative to say "I should die/be hurt/be abandoned". It's forcing the listener to feel guilty and feel as if they have caused feelings of depression.

Blaming, not explaining. Often, when apologizing, we want to explain why we may have done something wrong. That's normal! But a good apology should make the other person understand why you made the mistake, not tell them that you didn't make the mistake because you couldn't control it. This is also a form of guilt tripping.

Selective addressing. This one applies to if the apology is for more than one issue. A manipulator may fully address one point, but disregard or gloss over another, then use this to pretend that they fully addressed both, or that they don't need to apologize more than once.

Forced relatability. To make someone feel bad for them, a manipulator may place blame on things the listener can relate to going through, or has sympathy for. This makes them feel as if they cannot criticize them without acting as a hypocrite, or insensitive.

Gaslighting. I'm sure you all know how this one works, but it isn't always "that didn't happen"- it can be "that wasn't as bad as you say", or "you didn't get that it was a joke?". It twists reality to downplay events.

Strawman/subject changing. These are together because they function the same way. A strawman is a falsified or exaggerated arguement that can be easily disproved, and usually has nothing to do with the topic at hand. This can make it seem like the situation has been addressed, and demonizes the victim.

Triangulation. This is when another person is involved in an arguement, usually by the manipulator. This can be to make the victim jealous, focus their attention on the other person, or force them to side with their abuser in disliking them. There is little to no communication between the victim and the added person, and can be used in apologies to shift blame or distract from the issue.

Love-bombing. Less of an apology, and more of a substitute for one. Instead of owning up to their actions, a manipulator may shower the victim with affection and praise, attempting to create a sense of loyalty or a feeling that they can't be as bad as perceived.

That's all I'll get into, but there are far more than I've listed. If you think you're being manipulated, I urge you to research further.