chosen-adjacent

[chosen-adjacent]

Jim and the Emo(tion)-Pets

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been busy working my contacts and collecting info on recent developments in town. Now, I’m back to update you all on them with the hopes you will keep an eye out and share if you have any other information.

Firstly, I’ll pass on what I’ve heard from Jim the Construction Guy. Across from the high school is a construction site for a small office building, and some days I dip out of the school and talk to Jim during his lunch break. Most of you in Pinesdale have probably seen Jim—he’s a bulky 6-footer who would be too old to be doing manual labor if he wasn’t stronger than any of the linebackers at the high school (I’ve heard a couple ask him for his gym routine). I’m pretty sure Jim is like 57? I don’t know. He has a big gray mustache and a tattoo that says “Eternal” in dark script on his arm. He’s a pretty chill guy, and while he isn’t the “knows everyone and their mother” type, he’s very observant and knows the right people.

Last week, I came over to Jim while he sat on a bench eating his sandwich.

“Hey, kid,” he said, then patted the empty space next to him on the bench. I sat down and took a bite of an apple as I pulled out my phone and opened my notes app.

I swallowed. “Hi Jim, I was wondering if you had any news for me?”

“Mindy Hawkes broke up with Leo Barnes.”

“What?”

“Yeah, the whole middle school play is in shambles.”

I blinked. “Umm, that’s too bad, but I was really thinking—”

Jim held up a finger and smiled as he wiped crumbs off of his face. “You want the fantastical, I know. Just wait and you’ll see what I’m getting at.”

I frowned slightly but took another bite of my apple.

“The play is in shambles except when Mindy’s dog is around. They’re doing The Wizard of Oz, you know, and Pipa is playing Toto. Weird dog, has glowing eyes, but all of the drama relaxes when Pipa is there. It’s uncanny.”

“If you’re implying Pipa is a werewolf, they aren’t really known for emotional manipulation.”

“Except Jacob Burlock.”

I nodded. “Except Jacob Burlock. But still, a dog that makes middle schoolers chill sounds more like a service than a threat,” I said.

“True, not by itself, but I’ve heard about a few recently adopted pets that seem to have some sort of calming influence, and there are a lot of murmurs on the east side of town near the woods. It might be worth checking out.” Jim turned back to his sandwich and took another bite.

I thanked Jim and left.

Since then, I’ve been investigating these emo-pets, and I think Jim was onto something. I’ll post a chart with my findings in the next few days. Honestly though, I was expecting something more . . . Prominent? Usually this time of year brings spectacle, but most of the golemite conflicts and spontaneous combustion have been resolved fairly quickly, even before Gabriel and the Guardians get there. Apparently normal citizens have been stepping up and taking care of things before they escalate? It sounds weird, Pinesdale citizens aren’t really known for their initiative, and I never can seem to find out who is playing hero even though most accounts report one person. I’m all for not relying on the Guardians, so maybe this is a good thing. Maybe.

Stay tuned,

David

[chosen-adjacent]

Back from Hiatus! Also, Junior Prom.

I don’t know if anyone outside of Pinesdale is reading this blog, but if so, I’m really sorry about disappearing for two months. Some scientists at OKTech discovered outgoing signals like wi-fi and cellular were affecting some of the most recent portals and making them more unstable, so we had to disconnect from the outside world for a while. However, OKTech developed some new technology that fixes the problem and even makes things run more smoothly.

Speaking of the most recent portals, we need to talk about seasons.

We call Pinesdale the Axis of Worlds, which basically means our town is like a hallway with a whole bunch of doors to different universes (called portals). However, these doors aren’t all open at once, and usually new ones open as the seasons change. As we’re getting into spring, we’re getting new portals, and while what comes through usually isn’t the most dangerous, spring tends to bring the most surprising guests to Pinesdale. Also, lots of explosions.

Which brings me to a recent conversation with Andora Taylor (aka Dora), who’s in the photography club and the anarchist club. I was sitting on a bench outside of the high school when Dora walked up to me.

“Why are you loitering?”

I started, but quickly got irritated. “I’m not loitering, I’m doing homework.”

“You have too much sense to feel safe getting homework done outside.” Dora crossed her arms and tilted her head, making her tassel earrings swing.

I looked down at my physics binder. I was so bored I was honestly kinda hoping the supernatural would stop me from working on it, but I didn’t tell her that.

“I need you to do something for me,” Dora said.

“I’m listening. . .”

“I’m in charge of logistics for the junior prom this year. With the tech fiasco for the past couple of months, the dance was delayed, but we’re also having a late spring and I’m concerned about potential surprises that could ruin the event.”

“Potential surprises could ruin any event, most people just roll with it.”

Dora frowned. “I’m not trying to waste my time getting a bunch of teenagers into a gym full of bad music and fruity heart attack juice just for it to get ruined by a zombie apocalypse or something.”

“Okay? So why are you talking to me?”

“You know how this town works,” Dora said. I closed my binder. “I want you to keep your eyes open and give me a heads up about any potential crises. I’m hoping if Gabriel and the rest of the Guardians find out about anything soon enough, they can take care of it before junior prom.”

I nodded. ”So you want me to be an analyst.”

“ . . . Sure.”

I started to nod, but hesitated. “What’s in it for me?”

“$30 bucks and hopefully a good junior prom.”

“I don’t care about the dance. $50 bucks. Whether or not this works.”

Dora looked up into the distance and thought for a minute. “Only if the dance happens on June 11th—no more rescheduling—and we get through twenty songs.”

“Agreed.” I stood, and we shook hands.

And so for the next several weeks I’ll share about potential threats in town and my methods for collecting info on current events. Spoiler: a lot of it involves talking to the gossip girls at school and Jim the Construction Guy.

Stay tuned,

David

[chosen-adjacent]

As promised, I’m here to give you a little intro to Pinesdale’s premier hero, Gabriel Stormbourne, also known as the Last Son of Valkor and the Lord of the Storm. To recap everything he’s done would take forever (comment if I should make a PowerPoint) so I’ll just answer some FAQ’s I hear in town. You’ll hear a lot about Gabriel over time, but hopefully this clears up the basics.

Q: Is Gabriel a human?

A: Yes.

Q: Is Gabriel a god?

A: I catch him doing the finger trick to figure out left and right sometimes so hopefully not. (No shame, but little trust)

Q: How does he know when there’s danger?

A: Depends. Most of the times I’ve been near him either someone just ran up and told him or he paused in the middle of a conversation and looked off into the distance with dread before saying something was wrong.

Q: Will he save people he doesn’t like?

A: If Gabriel dislikes you, you’ve got something else going on. Also, I don’t think he pays much attention to who exactly he’s saving unless they have a close relationship. I don’t think you have to worry about it.

Q: How old is Gabriel, actually?

A: 17. His birthday is in October.

Q: Does he mature more quickly?

A: This question confuses me a little bit. Gabriel’s powers did not change his brain chemistry or anything as far as we know, but his life as a result of having them has shaped and matured him as a person. In other words, he has a normal teen brain that has seen very abnormal experiences.

Q: How did he get his powers?

A: “He went into a cave, touched a glowy thing, and it unlocked the potential already inside of him.” - The Pinesdale Reporter

Q: What are Gabriel’s powers?

A: As present and as far as I know, Gabriel’s powers are:

flight

energy manipulation (specifically this light-adjacent stuff called prismia)

energy absorption

weather manipulation (only sometimes, always storms)

invulnerability

enhanced agility/strength/etc.

chosenness (he’s lucky)

Q: Is he single?

A: Most definitely not. And don’t try anything, because his girlfriend is a good person and her grandmother literally EATS STARS. Also, do you really want to be in mortal danger even more?

Q: What if I just give him a little thank-you kiss for saving me?

A: What part of his girlfriend is 1/4th star eater do you not understand?

Thanks for reading; comment or email me if you have any other questions!

No kissing Gabriel,

David

[chosen-adjacent]

How to Get Where You’re Going

I wasn’t planning to post today, but the day’s events have shown me that I need to share something important with you all—how to get where you’re going. The introduction to Gabriel can wait. To illustrate today’s lesson, I’ll use a real-life example: my date. Or rather, getting to my date.

Last week, a girl in my music class offered to show me around her family’s glass shop and I offered to take her out for dinner afterwards. Plenty of time to prepare for any supernatural happenings, right? Wrong.

Tip 1: No one wins with prep time.

I was supposed to be at the shop at 4 today, and since my bike is broken, I asked to borrow my mom’s car. She left earlier in the day to run errands, so I called around 3 to find out when she’d get back. Big mistake.

”I’m picking something up for your sister, but I’ll be back by 3:30,” She said.

”Okay. . .” I said, watching the strong wind outside.

”I’ll be back in plenty of time. Trust me, I’ll be back by 3:30—“

“Wait—”

”I promise.”

“. . . Thanks, Mom.”

”Of course. Love you sweetie!”

”Love you too.”

We hung up, and I let myself fall into the couch, staring at the ceiling. My mother would not be back by 3:30.

Tip 2: Don’t promise or let anyone promise they’ll be somewhere at a certain time.

No time-sensitive promises can be kept, it’s practically a law of nature here. Whenever I tell my mom this, she says I am being pessimistic. I argue she’s being naive.

Sure enough, at 3:25 my mom calls me back, saying a few imps popped out of the sewers and caused an accident, blocking her way back for at least 15 minutes. I told her it was fine and that I had already finished cleaning my running shoes. That brings me to my next tip.

Tip 3: When in doubt, trust your own two feet.

The glass shop wasn’t far, so I had time to walk if I kept a steady pace. Here are some tips specific to walking places:

Tip 4: Chaos tends to happen in the same places. Keep note of where those places are in your route.

There are a good number of fire hydrants near intersections in my neighborhood, and an ungodly number of drivers have swerved to avoid some magical phenomena and hit one of these fire hydrants. Whenever I approach them, I look in all directions and jog until I’m at a safe distance.

Tip 5: If you hear something behind you, just run for a little while. If you don’t think you hear it anymore, keep running. You’re never safe until you check the third time.

A few imps were still running around town, and I had actually bothered to wear a nice sweater, so I was not trying to get it clawed up. When I heard chittering behind me, I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t look back, I just ran. After several seconds I listened out for it, didn’t hear anything, but kept going. Actually, that last part of this tip is really important and deserves to be its own thing.

Tip 6: You’re never safe until you check the third time.

The first is when you initially sense something’s wrong, the second is when you see if it’s still there, and the third determines whether you can go back to your day.

Tip 7: Watch out for gum on the ground. There’s . . . There’s a lot.

Don’t worry about the explanation for this one.

Following this strategy, I got to my date while not getting hit by the car, avoiding the imp behind me, and getting minimally sticky shoes. The date was terrible, but I’m not here to tell you how to have a good day, just how to show up.

Godspeed,

David

[chosen-adjacent]

Welcome—You’ll Need New Insurance

Hello,

My name is David Brannon, and I live next door to the Chosen One. His name is Gabriel, and we have chemistry together.

Since so many of you just moved to Pinesdale because of the new OKTech branch, I realized you probably aren’t prepared for the city’s quirks. You now live in the Apex of worlds, and it’s a lot to get used to. We have portals, imps, and about eight too many magical teenagers. Some of you are scoffing, but others already saw last week’s goblin hunt and want to know why drunk green dudes were hopping on your car. This town has many heroes, but I am not one of them. But hopefully, I can help you in another way. Many ask, “Who guards the guardians?” but what about, “Who guards the guardian’s neighbor?”

After all, when the dust settles, it settles in your yard.

So a couple times a week, I’ll be here to pass on advice and keep you updated on the latest happenings. If you have any questions, feel free to comment here or email me at davidbrannonhere@gmail.com. To start, here are my 5 Steps to Getting Settled:

You’re going to need a new insurance plan. The city will mail you an info packet about that soon.

When it comes to the fantastical here, believe most everything you hear and almost none of the interpretations.

Once you believe, you’re gonna wanna leave. I don’t blame you. If you can get out, get out as soon as possible. However and unfortunately, once you’re here, it’s really hard to leave. Car accidents, career surprises, crazy weather, etc. all seem to swoop in whenever someone new tries to move back out. Eventually most people get used to the place. Same thing goes for proving the truth about this place to the world: there’s always something trying to close us off.

Stay tuned to the stats. We have a lot of injuries, but, considering how many world-ending events are stopped here, there are incredibly few deaths. That doesn’t mean this place isn’t dangerous. It just means you’ll probably live through it if you’re smart.

Most importantly, learn quickly. This place has rules and we all have roles. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you can carve out a good life within yours.

Follow Chosen-Adjacent and I’ll be back in soon with an intro to the Chosen One himself, Gabriel Stormbourne!

Godspeed,

David