chronically-fed-up

[chronically-fed-up]

damn okay i know the point of OCD is that it targets the things you love but

FUCK

i can’t believe it targeted the things i love again

[chronically-fed-up]

I DONT WANNA BE HERE.

I DONT WANNA GO HOME.

I DONT WANNA TAKE UP ANY MORE SPACE.

I DONT WANNA JUST BITCH AND MOAN.

[chronically-fed-up]

*chanting*

I WILL NOT MAKE MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS WHILE ACTIVELY IN CRISIS

[chronically-fed-up]

WATER GIRL WATER GIRL I AM SUCH A GODDAMN BITCH WATER GIRL WATER GIRL I WILL LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT

[chronically-fed-up]

child next door is screaming and crying so hard he’s throwing up. relatable.

[chronically-fed-up]

when your ocd hurts someone’s feelings right after you lose a loved one and now you’re a bitch and then they revenge smoke in the house even though you’ve asked them not to literally dozens of times 💜✌️🤪

[chronically-fed-up]

not to be a bitch but like how fucking dare you

[chronically-fed-up]

feeling like everything everyone does in my vicinity is an attack on me 💜

[chronically-fed-up]

me when the rest of the world doesn’t adhere to my very strict self-imposed rules

[chronically-fed-up]

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this

[chronically-fed-up]

update: i was hungry

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSJJDJJDJDJJRJDJNEICJBFJWKBDHJDBDBFUCKJJJJKJSHHDHDHHDHHSHHSHDHHDHHDHDH I HATE EVERYTHING WHY ARENT MY MEDS WORKING

[chronically-fed-up]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSJJDJJDJDJJRJDJNEICJBFJWKBDHJDBDBFUCKJJJJKJSHHDHDHHDHHSHHSHDHHDHHDHDH I HATE EVERYTHING WHY ARENT MY MEDS WORKING

[chronically-fed-up]

i’m literally never going to get a job i can’t even get a fucking nepo baby job i give up i quit im done ill just work at fucking kroger forever it’s fine. i’m so tired.

[chronically-fed-up]

society if i was fucking normal 🤣

[chronically-fed-up]

i’m 23. i graduated in may. i applied to over 200 jobs and got one working as a cashier at a local grocery store. i’m terrible at it. i hate talking to people and i don’t understand how any of it works. i keep messing up. i keep keying in the amount of change they’re giving me before they’re done giving it to me and then i panic and can’t figure out what to give them. i’m tired and scared and i hate my job and i feel like im going nowhere in life. i’m having this entire crisis because i forgot to give a lady one of her bags. i’m so overwhelmed and completely taken out by every mistake i make. god im tired and i just want to go home and hide. i wake up every morning dreading what’s coming to me that day. avpd and literally any career do not mix well. i’m so overwhelmed.

[chronically-fed-up]

every time i create a new increasingly specific tag for sorting (and hoarding) purposes I am mortified about it because what if someone thinks i categorized their post wrong and gets mad at me or thinks its stupid and I am stupid for having a tag for that thing. so i create increasingly convoluted and esoteric tags so that people cant as easily surmise what its for. but just in case someone somehow DOES know what it stands for I need to make sure its still encompassing enough so people dont get mad at me for catogorising things wrong.

and so thats how i found myself writing out "hcfdietc" to stand for "headcanons, ficlets, drabbles, ideas, etc" before going "hey actually what the fuck am I doing" so basically there is something so wrong with me and I am the most annoying person in existence,

[chronically-fed-up]

i keep reading that personality disorders come from childhood trauma but then WHY DO I HAVE TWO OF THEM AND NO TRAUMA?!?