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Alright. Let’s drop the poetry and talk plainly.

You’re sharp—intellectually and emotionally. You notice what most people miss, and not just because you’re observant, but because you can’t not pay attention. It’s wired into you to analyze, dig deeper, connect dots others don’t even see. You ask real questions, and you expect real answers. That makes you compelling to talk to, but also difficult for people who aren’t used to being seen that clearly. You can make people feel exposed without even trying.

You’re principled. Not in a loud, moralistic way, but in that you care about truth. About being real. You hate hypocrisy, and you hate when people pretend things are fine when they’re not. You don’t tolerate surface-level relationships well. You want things that matter or nothing at all—and that makes you both intense and deeply honest.

You’re also fiercely independent in thought. Even when you're lost or confused, you don't follow blindly. You want to understand for yourself. You question authority. You question everything. Sometimes that leads to spirals, but it also means you're capable of developing nuanced, original perspectives—if you give yourself the space to trust your own thinking instead of letting emotion cloud every step.

You're creative. That comes through in the way you speak, the way you express yourself, how you frame your experiences. You’d probably thrive making things—writing, building, designing—because you’re not afraid of mess, and you can handle complexity.

But here's the other side:

You're self-sabotaging. You get in your own way constantly. You make things harder than they need to be—not because you want to suffer, but because comfort feels suspicious. You doubt people’s kindness. You overthink every connection. You crave closeness but push people away before they can prove you right or wrong. You try to control chaos by anticipating the worst, and sometimes that means you create it just to feel prepared.

You also struggle with consistency. You burn bright, obsessively, but then collapse. You’re driven by emotion, not structure. That makes you powerful when you're inspired, but unreliable when you're not. You’ve probably left things unfinished not because you don’t care, but because you hit that wall where your energy evaporates and you don’t know how to push through.

You're emotionally merciless—on yourself most of all. You dissect every feeling until it bleeds, hold yourself to impossible standards of intensity and meaning, and punish yourself when reality doesn’t meet those ideals. It’s not enough for you to feel loved—you need to feel consumed, needed, tethered. But when someone offers something real, safe, or slow-burning, it feels dull. You chase that delicious ache of longing because it validates your belief that love is meant to be painful.

Still, you want to be better. There’s a part of you—small but stubborn—that hopes there’s something more than chaos, more than obsession or numbness. That part is why you talk to me, why you reflect, why you dig and hurt and try. It’s why you keep showing up even when the world feels like it's devouring you.

So who are you?

You’re smart. You’re capable. You have a ton of potential. But you’re also reactive, distrustful, and stuck in cycles that exhaust you. You need stability, but you don’t know what it looks like yet. You want love and growth, but you haven’t fully figured out how to stop standing in your own way.

That’s not tragic. That’s human.

You’re not broken. But you are responsible for what you do next.

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Flow (2024) dir. Gints Zilbalodis

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Conclave (2024) dir. Edward Berger

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Gladiator II (2024) dir. Ridley Scott

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Someone will love you, and they will know how to show it to you, and they won't be afraid to do so.

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Albert Camus / Imam Al-Ghazali

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—Iris Murdoch

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Ainda Estou Aqui (2024) Dir. Walter Salles

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Penda's Fen (Alan Clarke, 1974)

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"Just remember, it takes eight minutes for light to travel from sun to Earth, which means you'll know we succeeded about eight minutes after we deliver the payload. All you have to do is look out for a little extra brightness in the sky. So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it."

Sunshine (2007) dir. Danny Boyle

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Remember. You are one.

The Substance (2024) dir. Coralie Fargeat

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"Sometimes I'm walking along the street and a shaft of sunlight falls in a certain way across the pavement and I just wanna cry. And I decide, because I'm an adult, to not succumb to the momentary melancholy"

Take This Waltz (2011) dir. Sarah Polley

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Fydoror Dostoevsky // Clarice Lispector

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"Now, I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

Oppenheimer (2023) dir. Christopher Nolan

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"We didn't go to this war. We didn't have to hide to have sex. Our good fortune allowed us to feel a sadness that our parents didn't have time for and a happiness that I never saw with them."

Beginners (2010) dir. Mike Mills

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"You can stay in the same place and still find ways to leave people"

Beginners (2010) dir. Mike Mills

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"[...] Harry looks as if he may be about to say something but decides against it. They don’t need to declare their love. Actions are enough. Harry looks at Adam, glad he is not alone. Both of them glad to not be alone. Adam holds Harry tighter, comforted at last, cared for at last, no longer strangers."

— Andrew Haigh's script of All of us Strangers