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"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer? And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye."

-- Terry Pratchett, "The Truth"

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Being in a relationship with a mathematician means that when you casually tell them about the recent issue AO3 was having, where the total number of bookmarks exceeded some maximum possible value set by their programming interface, they'll just look at you and go, "Oh, you mean two billion one-hundred-and-forty-seven--"

And then you simply have to throw a croissant at them. Like, what else are you gonna do?

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So glad OP ended up finding it! Everyone deserves to get their fix of vampire-related tax fraud schemes :3

I NEED someone to help me find a fic

So I remember seeing a comment about someone saying that they read a fic where Cazador Szarr was defeated via the party exposing him for lying on his fantasy taxes. And I want to fucking read this. Unfortunately, I cannot find it anywhere. Someone please help me.

UPDATE: IT HATH BEEN FOUND https://archiveofourown.org/works/47329978/chapters/119260024

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"Everyone he met told him they loved him. Hardly anyone survives that."

- Fredrik Backman, "My Friends"

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What a brilliant breakdown! Thank you for sharing ❤️ I love how you managed to generalize the overall structure while also adding in examples from your own project! Getting into plotting can be tricky, so I'm super glad for anyone who finds this helpful 🥰

"Magistrate's Advocate" in 15 beats

Here's my beat sheet for "Magistrate's Advocate"! Once again, I'm following the "Save the Cat" method to break down the plot into 15 beats. Yes, at 200k words, MA is roughly twice as long as a traditionally published novel, but it's always been planned as a single coherent story, and what's fanfiction for, if not a little self-indulgence? :D

Hopefully, this will be interesting/helpful for anyone interested in story structure, outlining etc! My beat sheet for Accountant's Guide is right here.

Full spoilers for Magistrate's Advocate ahead!

Opening Image

For MA, I really wanted to start off with the friendship between Zoraya and Astarion. The way they've spent their whole entire lives together in one way or another. That's why we start with them as children, running around his parents' orchard, laughing and having fun. It's a sweet, happy scene, but since we see it through Zoraya's eyes, there's also an air of nostalgia to it. Her narration makes it clear that their friendship didn't last forever and how, already back then, she felt like she was chasing him. It sets the tone for the depth of her feelings for him, the sense of imbalance in their relationship, and how this woman would do absolutely everything for Astarion.

2. Set-up

While Zoraya accepts Aquilan's request to go work for Astarion already in the prologue, I don't think the plot really kicks off until chapter 4, where Astarion makes her his advocate and decides to actually work with her (rather than give her menial tasks and be a pain in the ass). Chapter 2-3 are mostly set-up for the dynamic between Zoraya and Astarion. Her telling herself she can deal with this and is totally over him (sure, Zoya, sure). Him being an absolute prick to her and making it clear just what kind of magistrate he is -- but also showing the first signs of vulnerability and how maybe, perhaps, there is a sad wet cat hidden underneath it all.

3. The Catalyst

The point of no return is in chapter 4, where they go to court together and Astarion realizes what kind of gigantic trump card he has on his hands with Zoya. To me, the story doesn't really start until he states that she's his "advocate" (just pulling it out of his ass right then and there :D). And while his motivations are selfish, initially, this decision paves the road for their relationship to be one of respect and collaboration, rather than him torturing his assistant in whatever ways he can think of.

4. The Debate

This time around, the debate beat is less about Zoraya trying to decide if she wants to accept his job offer and more about her being confronted with the reality of what it's like to be his advocate. In chapter 5, he invites her to dinner with Cazador, which is where she really gets to see the kinds of people Astarion has surrounded himself with and what all he's willing to do to maneuver himself into a position of power. It's not enough to make her consider quitting, but it definitely sets the stage for what she's going to have to deal with in this job.

5. Theme Stated

Again, I don't want to say "this is the one and only theme of the story and if you saw something different in it, you're WRONG". Not at all. I love the fact that stories mean different things to different people, and I'm always super happy when readers point out things to me I never would have noticed or interpreted that way. But. For me, at its core, MA was always a story about people and how you view them. Racism, justice, slavery & vampirism -- those are all just different facets of it. The overarching question the story poses is: How do you view others? What sort of value do you assign to them (and what is that based on)? This is stated most clearly by Zoraya in chapter 4, where she tells Astarion, “Yeah, I’m sure you of all people know all about burdens.”

6. Break into 2

We begin act 2 with a visit to the Gur camp in chapter 6. We don't stay there for the entirety of act 2 this time, but it widens the scope of the story and forces Astarion to interact with the people who will be most affected by his policies. The scene is pretty much Zoraya, dragging him out there to confront the reality of his plans -- thus, figuratively, dragging him into act 2 of the story where he can no longer hide behind his fancy desk.

7. Fun and Games

"The Promise of the Premise" for MA is that the selfish racist magistrate accidentally learns morals from his lovely advocate, all while working through their shared past and falling in love in the process. The general trajectory of things here is positive, so from chapter 6-14, we see Zoya breaking through Astarion's walls of elitism, prejudice and selfishness. Importantly, she doesn't change him so much as she inspires him to change all by himself (see beat 8, B Story). After she saves him from the bandits in chapter 7, putting her own life on the line for him without a beat of hesitation, he is the one who decides to change his plans and make the Ancunin Highway into a philanthropy project instead. He tells her (and himself) it's just an act for media approval, but, well ... the timing of things tells a different story, Astarion :P

At the same time, we see their blossoming relationship as he and Zoraya work together on his highway plan. We see them fight over what happened in their childhood, get closure on all those things that were never said. We see them twirl in ballrooms and pine and kiss, but most importantly, we see how they're both at their best when they're together -- not just romantically, but also as legal professionals.

8. B Story

Whereas Astarion's highway plans are the external plot, the internal plot is all about Astarion learning how to rethink the way he sees the world. I've always seen this version of him as a product of his circumstances. Not a bad person so much as someone who's spent his entire life in rich, elitist circles and kind of forgot that that's not how the world works for everyone. It's Zoraya who reminds him of that. Zoraya who challenges him over and over again, pushes him to rethink his ways and be better. And while he initially plays the role of the philanthropist for his own gain, he quickly grows into it because he realizes it's actually pretty cool to be making a difference and to be respected for his accomplishments, rather than his lineage (another facet of the theme: Astarion and how he views himself).

9. Midpoint

Since the direction this far has been upward, the midpoint consists of a "false victory" in chapter 14, where Astarion is proclaimed as the "Magistrate of the People". This is a false victory because while the public is celebrating him as the savior of the Gur (& specifically his rescue of Ira), things have never been more tense. Police brutality is on the rise, Tatiana is distancing herself and working on her own plans, and Cazador is pissed about Zoraya's growing influence on Astarion. Basically, we get a moment of happiness (the infamous library date!) before shit really hits the fan.

10. Bad Guys Closing in

After Zoraya and Astarion start dating and get to have their well-deserved chapter 15 (:D), chapter 16-19 is all about ramping up for the inevitable catastrophe. We have the literal bad guys closing in in terms of the nightly visitors at Zoraya's house, the vampire attack through Boris, and the mounting political tension. On top of that, there's the figurative bad guys in the family dinner at the Ancunin estate, Cazador's manipulations of Astarion, and Zoraya's growing conviction that he's a vampire. The whole section is about building that sense of dread, that feeling that something terrible is right around the corner.

11. All is Lost

The lowest point for them both is of course chapter 20. The political tension coming to a head with the bombings, then the vote and the fight, followed by the Gur attack on Astarion, and then Cazador coming in with his little deal. It's just hit after hit for them both. I even made it rain, for god's sake! But really, in all honesty: Having Zoraya find out about it all from the newspaper is probably the cruelest thing I've ever done to my characters. Sorry, Zoya.

12. Dark Night of the Soul

This is the beat where the heroes regroup after their ultimate catastrophe. For Astarion, it's waking up in Cazador's estate and finding himself confronted with the bitter reality that no, he was never special. This was always what Cazador planned to do with him and he is helpless to stop it. Meanwhile Zoraya, stricken with grief, goes to his grave only to find that whatever was in the coffin is no longer there. Which is horrifying in its own right, of course, but for her, it's exactly the glimmer of hope that she needs to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and devote all her energy to getting. her. boyfriend. back.

13. Break into 3

Act 3 is all about Zoraya freeing Astarion. Her initial brute-force approach in chapter 22 goes about as well as you'd expect, and she only makes it out of the Szarr mansion due to Karlach's swift intervention. Zoraya lands in a prison cell for breaking and entering, and in comes Gale, informing her that there's no legal basis for accusing Cazador of kidnapping because vampire spawn are considered the property of their lord (i.e. he can do with them whatever he wants). This is where I tie the threads of racism, elitism and vampirism together in a pretty, if somewhat convoluted little bow by having Zoraya gather her allies and go to court to fight for a vampire spawn's right to personhood. Welcome to act 3, aka the courtroom drama!

14. Finale

The finale is Zoraya's High Court case. It's her using her legal expertise, the help from her friends, and also some unlikely allies (:D) to prove that yes, vampire spawn are people and deserve the right to legal protection. At this point, Astarion is traumatized enough that he himself needs to be reminded of the fact that he is still a person and worthy of her love and effort. I'm playing a lot with Cazador's control over him and the other spawn, and how he uses that to try and discredit Zoya. But ultimately, it's when she lets go of her strict moral compass (taking some inspiration from Astarion) and when he openly embraces his feelings for her (proving that vampire spawn are still capable of love & affection) that the High Court rules in their favor. Cazador ends up behind bars, and our heroes get to return home.

15. Closing Image

Astarion decides to embrace his vampiric nature, at least for the time being, and becomes a vigilante warrior for justice (which he has a ton of fun with). When he returns home one night, he accidentally discovers his bat form. He's a little freaked out by it, but then Zoraya finds him and calms him down. The closing image is her telling him that yes, she'll still love him even if he's a fluffy white bat. Accepting this part of him, just as she's accepted everything else about him.

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Fanart for Chapter 11 of "Magistrate's Advocate"

I present to you, Magistrarion, aka Mr. Silver Tongue, complimenting on his advocate's evening attire.

He's usually better at this, pinky promise.

Captured by the wonderful vyju!

(Thank you so much, I love you, this made my whole entire week, it's perfect)

Read chapter 11 on AO3

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Finally got around to reading the Terry Pratchett biography and yes, it's emotionally poignant and inspiring and utterly devastating in all the best ways. But what struck me the most is that he seems exactly like the sort of person he used to write about.

I can see Vimes in him. Granny Weatherwax. Vetinari. Tiffany Aching. Moist von Lipwig. They're all there. And that's so ... beautiful, to think that he's given them pieces of himself that get to live on, forever and ever.

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Can you tell us something about Accountant's Guide? 💖

Of course! Always happy to talk about my baby❤

So, a fun fact about Accountant's Guide is that the very first lines I wrote for it were actually part of a word document impulsively titled "ASTARION". This document didn't contain a coherent story or anything like that; it was just a wild collection of phrases and paragraphs I associated with him and the kinds of dynamics I could envision him having with others. I thought I was getting it out of my system, but what I was actually doing was build the whole emotional backbone for a 100k story that would pour out of me over the course of the next 4 months :D I had a look and one section in particular made it from that initial document into the final draft, nearly unchanged.

Goosebumps erupted all the way down her spine and Scarlett knew he was going to break her heart. Oh, how he was going to break her heart. It was unavoidable. Predetermined. Completely out of her control. A ridiculously handsome, witty, roguish vampire elf with fingers that could charm any lock, a tongue that could charm the patrons of any tavern. A freaking masterpiece of a creature. And worst of all: He knew it. Was perfectly aware of his own irresistibility and not at all reluctant to use it to his full advantage.

This is from chapter 11! A bit of a last-minute addition after Larian showcased parts of the act 2 hug scene and the image burned itself into my mind so hard, I just had to write my own take. Turns out it was the perfect opportunity to recycle some of the very first lines I wrote for Astarion!

Thanks so much for submitting this! I'm incredibly honored the story is still on your mind, even years after its conclusion❤

(question from this ask game)

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Send me a fic of mine and I'll answer...

My favorite scene

My favorite chapter (if it's a multichapter)

Hardest scene to write

Favorite character to write in the fic

Favorite dynamic to write in the fic

Why I chose that title

A fun fact about the fic

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You guys... YOU GUYS! Look at these BEAUTIFUL, PANTY-DROPPING renders of Justice Astarion Ancunín (from my fic, Jury Duty) that the immensely multi-talented @arafel0194 surprised me with! My jaw seriously hit the floor. I'm so fucking spoiled 🥲💦

Thanks again, @arafel0194. I am not capable of fully articulating just how much I love these, and how grateful and touched I am that you made them. And to everyone else: please, go check out the rest of her artwork and her writing, if you haven't already!

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OC Wardrobe: Zoraya Edition

RULES: Post pictures of your character's wardrobe and put your OC in the center. It can be other people wearing the clothing, it's just a moodboard.

I did Scarlett's wardrobe here, so let's move on with Zoraya!

She's a little older than Scarlett and has a more elegant, sophisticated sense of style. She likes clean, sharp cuts and simple color schemes. Crisp button-downs, tailored trousers and of course her signature pair of heels. As she grows older and more confident in herself, I like to imagine she'd become more experimental with her wardrobe. Lower necklines and more traditionally masculine items like waistcoats, hats and neckties. I'm also convinced that Astarion would buy her a bright red power suit that might take her a little while to actually wear -- but once she does, she feels invincible.

(fanart of Zoraya by the lovely @tavplum)

Bonus picture of how I imagine Zoya and Astarion's work interactions in the first half of the story :D I don't have photoshop but please imagine Astarion's face below:

Tagging YOU if you feel like participating in this ❤

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OC Wardrobe: Scarlett Edition

RULES: Post pictures of your character's wardrobe and put your OC in the center. It can be other people wearing the clothing, it's just a moodboard.

Thanks so much for tagging me @roguishcat! Initially I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pinpoint individual styles for Scarlett and Zoraya, but they actually became super clear to me as soon as I started looking, so I'll be sure to do a follow-up for Zoya as well!

But first: Scarlett! She may be an accountant but her style is very librarian chic. Lots of warm colors and textures, silhouettes that are feminine, yet modest (much to Astarion's dismay). She's a big fan of chunky cardigans and long skirts, and of course she always carries around some kind of messenger bag for all her important tax documents :D This girl is all about things being practical and comfortable, whether she's pulling all-nighters at her desk or heading out to heist books and free vampire spawn. But there is always a sense of warmth to her outfits. A subtle kind of whimsy - a youthful, unpolished, but undeniably genuine attitude that I've always felt in writing her, but had never really associated with her clothing choices as much as I have now.

Peggy from Mad Men has always been a style inspiration for Scarlett (especially early on in the story). But Evie is something I have to thank my lovely readers for because I really only saw The Mummy last year after so many people compared Scarlett to her and what can I say? You were all so correct. This is Scarlett:

Tagging whoever wants to participate! This has been super fun, so I'd love to see your picks!

(Update: Zoraya's wardrobe is right here)

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"I hope that one day, I'll be able to tell my agent that the reason I haven't finished writing my book is that I was busy reading yours." (Fredrik Backman, author, international treasure)

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4 for the ask game ^-^

Hi! Thank you so much for the ask; I'm always so happy when people submit these ❤

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

So, I'm not sure if this counts, but I kinda think of the first novel I ever finished as my "plot bunny". It's about a young woman who grows up in a very restricted cult-like environment and the journey she goes through in realizing all the many ways in which she's been manipulated as she grows older and develops her own personality. I've always liked the concept, but I don't think that young Cin approached it with quite as much nuance as it would have deserved. Rewriting it also didn't feel right, simply because my style has changed so much and it no longer feels like the kind of story I'd want to tell on its own.

But! I recently had a bit of a eureka moment when I realized I could use it as the backstory for one of my characters! That way I can finally tackle this character's conflict without making it front and center for the whole entire story. I can dip into it with the occasional flashback, while also focusing on the person she's become as a result of it all -- and then throw this poor woman into the plot for a story I'd been tinkering with for a while, so it's really like 2 puzzle pieces clicking together! I'm very excited about it and I hope it'll work out the way I'm picturing it.

(questions from here!)

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For the ask game 💖 (also happy bday weekend!!! 🥰)

what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

any writing advice you want to share?

what story are you most proud of?

Omg thank you! So very sweet of you to reach out ❤ Popping the answers under the cut, thanks so much for submitting!

what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

Answered here!

what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

Terry Pratchett (everything he touched was magic, but I recommend "Guards, Guards!", "Small Gods" and "Going Postal" as entry points into his work)

Fredrik Backman ("A Man Called Ove" never fails to make me cry. "Beartown" never fails to make me rage.)

M. L. Wang ("Sword of Kaigen" & "Blood over Bright Haven" are the best standalone fantasy novels of our time and I am willing to prove it to anyone who will listen :D)

Leigh Bardugo (the "Six of Crows" series is what Romantasy should have been like)

Jandy Nelson ("I will give you the sun" redefined my understanding of character voice as a whole)

any writing advice you want to share?

Find the beauty in the mundane, and you'll never have a single boring paragraph in your stories.

what story are you most proud of?

I'm kind of torn between my two completed longfics, Accountant's Guide and Magistrate's Advocate, but I think if we're talking about my sense of pride, I have to give it to MA. This story was far more challenging to complete for so many reasons, and while it took me longer than I would have wanted, I am genuinely so proud of what I have accomplished with it. In the end, it came out exactly the way I was envisioning it in my head, twists and turns and romance and drama and everything. And when I reread it for myself, all I feel is the genuine love and passion I poured into this project, not the bumps along the way.

Plus, I'm glad the fandom finally has a plot-centric Magistrate Astarion longfic :3

(questions from here!)