clairenimbus

[clairenimbus]

Balance

Feather light, 

                        Effortless and still. 

A heavy silence, 

                        Falls within. 

A snowflake lands, 

                        On a gloved hand. 

One touch destroys, 

                        What once was grand. 

A leaf may fall, 

                        It has died and remains. 

Until a foot, 

                        Destroys its frame. 

A heavy silence, 

                         Remains upheld. 

Until humanity, 

                          Destroys its spell. 

[clairenimbus]

A sliver of light illuminates a dream, for a moment before its unseen. 

It is only a moment when one can recall, the message a dream is meant to recall. 

A dream is a fluid, and momentous pause. 

It occurs when one does not have control of one’s mind. 

They are bizarre, absurd, and complex. 

They puzzle the dreamer when they choose to reflect.

To say one does not dream is to claim that one does not have a soul. 

For a soul speaks through dreams to a subconscious mind, and when a dream is remembered the message is found. 

To remember one’s dreams is a gift and a curse, for at times it is eye-opening and at others it haunts. 

When the same dream occurs for a long length of time, it speaks of a fear that one wants to hide. 

Write your dreams down so they don’t stick in your mind, though you can still recall them at a later in time.  

[clairenimbus]

Lost dreams, 

At the break of dawn. 

A forgotten world, 

Caged in the mind. 

Beautiful creatures, 

Nightmarish times. 

Try to remember, 

Scribble it down. 

A dream states the truth, 

At least a thousand times. 

Inner turmoil, 

A belief buried deep, 

A nightmare from childhood,

A true fantasy. 

Try to remember the many lost dreams. 

Try to remember the secrets they screamed. 

You have only a second, 

Before they are lost dreams. 

[clairenimbus]

I am Hate

Constant ringing consumes my mind

It nestles itself deep and tightens its grip. 

I long to be free of this constant pain that bombards me. 

Its tendrils curl themselves around the passages of my mind. 

No therapist or doctor can cure me of this constant ring. 

I only wish for a single moment of silence. 

I’ve forgotten the sense of peace felt through silence. 

The ringing splits my mind in two: the angel and the devil. 

I become full of anger at the constant sound in my mind. 

I single breath of another can trigger my rage. 

What am I you ask? What could I be? 

A constant bombardment of anger, negativity, and fear. 

I negativity at its strongest power. 

I have the power to conquer,

                              the power to kill, 

                                         the power to possess, 

                                                                 and the power of will.

[clairenimbus]

A twig, 

Snaps under a boot. 

A lone deer's’ ears, 

Twitch at the sound. 

A man and his daughter halt, 

The deer is seen with a sense of wonder. 

The deer representing the still beauty, 

That is nature. 

It sees man and daughter, 

Hesitates, 

Then scampers off. 

There is a serene silence between man and daughter. 

Daughter smiles to herself, 

And the father sees a wisdom in his child. 

One that is ancient and pure in heart. 

A wisdom given by Mother Nature herself. 

[clairenimbus]

Dystopia is Life

Frosted glass,

A distorted sight. 

Imagining reality as though its alright.

 A blinded vision, 

An unkempt thought. 

Utopia is only ever a thing of the mind. 

It’s an unreachable dream,

A gift never received. 

Dystopia is life and that is how it is. 

To live in utopia, 

is to remain in your head. 

If you step into reality, 

It will ruin what’s right. 

Dreams are utopic and not what they seem. 

Accept the dystopic and learn how to live. 

Dystopia is everywhere where it can fill empty space. 

It creeps into the corners until there is no light. 

It may take some effort, it may take your whole life. 

But try to have a utopic sight when dystopia is life. 

[clairenimbus]

The Gift That Is Happiness

A heavy sigh that slows the mind. 

It’s prolonged pause, lets sadness thrive. 

A frown appears from deep within. 

The mind is clouded, full of sin. 

Regret is heavy, it’s host a lost cause. 

While sadness prevails, happiness dies. 

A decade passes and happiness is nothing. 

A child’s born, into anger and fear. 

Without happiness no joy is felt. 

Without happiness no love will sprout. 

No celebrations of years gone by. 

No kiss and hug when life gets hard. 

Evil thrives when happiness dies. 

Nurture the seed when it is first felt. 

Cherish its rarity, be grateful it breaths. 

If happiness dies, so will its leaves. 

What is happiness but an umbrella of emotions. 

To joy and excitement, 

To love and a home. 

So many branches, so many leaves. 

Happiness is like an ancient tree. 

Let it live, 

For it may never die. 

When it does you’ll still survive. 

It will live in your soul, 

In your heart, 

In every moment gone by. 

Let it be your breath, and your sight. 

Let it offer you comfort when nothing else will. 

Let it be ying to yang, or the creation of life. 

Don’t let it die, 

In the breath of a sigh. 

[clairenimbus]

A Dystopic Heaven

Fallen heights

                          That exist alone. 

A broken sky 

                          Without a home. 

A forgotten place

                           And a castle left standing. 

No breath escapes

                           That of Heav’n

Blinding white clouds

                           That eclipse all the birds. 

A gate so pristine

                           You can’t describe it with words. 

Creatures that fly

                           With wings to big for their body. 

A place of pure happiness

                           Is what people call it. 

No loved one in sight

                           Just empty white space. 

Not a soul exists

                           Except yourself and the angels. 

Stark whiteness forever

                           No colour at all. 

No peaceful blue sky

                           Or beautiful sunsets

                       Heav’n is bright

                          It’s white 

                                    And it’s blinding. 

                                                                   An oasis to some

                                                                                A nothing to others. 

A dream for the weary

                     A solution to many. 

                                                                                                You die

                                                                  Decompose

                                                 You disappear

                                                                                     You surrender. 

Some call it Heav’n 

                        I call it Nature. 

When I die

               I believe

                        I will go to the stars. 

I will become the Earth

                        And provide for the living. 

I will live on in memories

                       And emotions of others. 

                                                 To die

                                                                To be birthed

                                                 To grow old or grow ill. 

It’s an inevitable event 

                       In all those with a soul. 

[clairenimbus]

Sometimes I wonder, 

I consider a thought. 

Sometimes I ponder, 

I let my mind take on thoughts. 

I query for fun,

On topics bizarre. 

I take pride in my randomness, 

And let my mind soar. 

A world floating in space, 

Or down in Earth’s center. 

I place only I know, 

Yet everyone enters. 

A reality that’s a dream, 

A dream that is real. 

All in my mind, 

Every thought so surreal. 

Just let your mind wander, 

Let it ponder on fluff. 

Take pride in the random, 

the bizarre and the weird. 

Your mind is a castle that goes on for eternity. 

Let it run wild and have an imagination that is worthy. 

[clairenimbus]

A Rapest’s Reality

I would like to let you know that this may trigger some readers as it is a creative way of experiencing a sexual abuser’s reality and that it should not be taken lightly. I wrote this because it’s a personal topic to me as I am a victim myself and want to portray the reality and the danger there is to woman who are not careful walking alone at night. 

You’re welcome to comment on the prose and if you want to share your thoughts I’m happy to hear them. I enjoy writing dark content because it releases a lot of stress and anxiety within me as it’s a way to vent and just explore the recesses of my mind. 

My writing is often dark because it’s interesting way for me to explore hard limits and face them for what they are. 

Please don’t read this if you’re easily triggered or have experienced sexual assault personally. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my prose as I want to know what affect it has and if it is realist of a real encounter. 

Thank you, 

and continue scrolling through Tumblr. 

Eva

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Hold still, don’t scream for mercy. 

Please you must remain still, I can’t hurt you if you continue to struggle. 

Your cries mean nothing to the passerbys’ it will encourage their eyes to seek you out and simply watch. 

I want this for myself because I’m selfish and lonely, I don’t have a wife or a girlfriend to abuse, so I chose you off the street. 

There is rarely a decent man who sees my actions and does the right thing, you’re all alone, trapped in my arms. 

                                                       Struggling, 

                                                                       Even though I want you to stop and                                                         let me abuse you.

 I enjoy your struggles because they prove that I have all the control in this situation. 

I don’t need to worry about you gaining a greater strength and standing up for yourself and for the respect you want me to give your body. 

It’s why I smile so wickedly when I pin you to the wall of this alley and let my hands roam your curves. 

                                Stop, 

                                      don’t struggle, 

                                                        I told you to stop. 

You’re getting me angry because you’re not willing to give up the fight against a sexual abuser, 

                   you’re not letting me win this wicked game of cat and mouse, 

                                                        of victim and abuser. 

If you don’t stop fighting I’ll hit you, 

                                       I’m not playing anymore. 

                                                                     Just let me fuck you, 

                                                        be a good girl. 

What are you doing? 

                   What’s that in your hand?

A button of some sort, 

                    That’s not going to save you from me. 

Stop crying, 

You’ll enjoy this just hold still. 

...

Why do I hear sirens? 

                        What are the police doing?

You fucking cunt. 

Well as the man in this situation I’ll just go along. 

“Hi officer,” 

“don’t worry, I’m her boyfriend. She loves roleplay. She’s perfectly fine.” 

“Yes, I know what’s going on far better than her. Don’t worry, I’ll bring her home safely.” 

“Yes, of course. Good day officer” 

                                                                      You tried to save yourself and you failed, 

                                                        as a woman alone at night. 

                                           There’s no one to save you against a sexual abuser. 

*TRIGGER WARNING*

[clairenimbus]

Life in Death

Dead leaves, 

                       Living trees. 

Dead eyes, 

                      Alive inside. 

                                              A candle is out, 

                                                              Until you give it a spark. 

A dream might be lost, 

                    Until you decide not. 

                    Dead is a dull way of stating a truth. 

                              But life come from death. 

                    As much as truth comes from the youth. 

To be dead, 

               Gives new life. 

                           Gives purpose and strength.

Death leads to healing, 

                           Acceptance, 

                                             And light. 

                          To die is to give yourself over to nature. 

                   To accept it’s your time, 

                                             And let others take over. 

Some wish to die happy, 

                   Others wish to die soon. 

But both accept death, 

                   And move on to the moon. 

They go to the stars, 

                   Or the Heavens, 

                                      Or Hell. 

They leave this world, 

                   And go forth into a place of unknown. 

If you don’t accept death, 

                   Then fight for your life. 

Because when you’re ready to die, 

                   You’ll know in your heart. 

[clairenimbus]

The more hardships you experience, the greater your mental strength will be

Eva Skorzewska

[clairenimbus]

Staying Strong

Never shall I, 

                        Embody my hate. 

Never shall I, 

                        Hold onto my rage. 

I stay humble and wise, 

                        I stay respectful and strong. 

You tried breaking my spirit, 

                        And I never fell down. 

I hold onto my faith,

                        Though no one respects it. 

It’s mine to believe, 

                        And that’s all there is to it. 

Never have I, 

                        Let fear run my life. 

Never have I, 

                        Thought I was lost. 

[clairenimbus]

Beauty As Is

Long lasting sunsets,  

                                  The beauty surreal. 

Fireflies glowing, 

                                  When the night life is still. 

A wave coming in, 

                                  Gentle and soothing. 

The soft subtle snore, 

                                  Of a spouse by your side. 

                                         Beauty is gentle, 

                                  It’s touch is a gift. 

                    You take it for granted, 

                                 And don’t realize its worth. 

                    Ponder on beauty, 

                                 Ponder on life. 

                   Be grateful for everything, 

                                 You already have. 

                                                                                                                       Beauty like happiness, 

                                                                               Should be more rare. 

                                                              So people who have it, 

                                                                                Appreciate its there. 

                                                              We see it in media, 

                                                                                And think its the norm. 

                                                               Then those who do see it, 

                                                                                Believe its their own. 

                  Respect what it is, 

                                        Don’t ever forget. 

                              It’s not there forever, 

                                                  Just remember that. 

[clairenimbus]

Anxious

Not who I am, not who I was, I know of the failures that have taken my breath. 

I hold onto fear yet smile with pride, I should know my own worth but doubt it instead. 

If you struggle with fire in the midst of your gut, embrace the sensation and hope for the best. 

Some feel water contracting their breath, they can’t help but choke but what does that get. 

It’s there then it’s gone and you’re left feeling lost, just shake off the fog and take your next step. 

It’s a curse but an armor, it protects you from harm. 

If you lose it you’re more likely to do something wrong. 

Respect it and hate it and you will become strong. 

It’s there, it’s not leaving just let it be so. 

That is your option, just let it be so. 

[clairenimbus]

What Am I?

Silent but deadly, 

                       I sleep in your bed. 

My attacks are quite stealthy, 

                      They play with your head. 

I go by a name, 

                      That no one dare mention. 

When heard in a crowd, 

                      I create very high tension. 

When in bed with a partner, 

                      You try to muffle my voice. 

But silent I’m deadly, 

                      So I don’t give you a choice. 

[clairenimbus]

A Lover Deceased

Longing and gloomy, 

                                   I rest in my grave. 

I’m forgotten by all, 

                                  But the one who I crave. 

I died from misfortune, 

                                  I did not have a choice. 

And now I’m gone from this world, 

                                 Most likely replaced. 

I cry in my grave, 

                                Because my love is all sorrow. 

She remembers my name, 

                                But no longer my voice. 

I pray she moves on, 

                                For that is my wish. 

I love you my Darling, 

                                 Please hold onto this.