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cliterally-what · 7 years ago

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what i wish rowling would write

Year 1

Three dark haired boys sulk inside a Hogwarts express cabin. The only luminescent thing in the room is the girl.

Her hair is fiery red and everyone's eyes swim with worry, except hers are bright green. She has a sour taste in her mouth from her fight with her sister. Looking down at her wand, she realized, maybe I am a freak. She was taking subjects called “Potions” and “Charms” after all.

The young boy’s face next to her looks grim. His long dark greasy hair fell around his hollow face. He already gained his first nickname. It wasn’t a good one.

Across from them sat another boy. His hair curled quite perfectly around his chin and he had a goofy lopsided grin. He sat laid back munching on Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. To Lily and Severus, he looked without a worry. Only he wasn’t. He sat petrified his family would disown him for not placing in Slytherin, but he knew at the very back of his mind he wanted Gryffindor. But he was also so scared the Sorting Hat would touch his head, would sense his countless generations of pureblood and Slytherin ancestry and cry “Slytherin” without hesitation. He disagreed with his family, but was too young to ever form a proper argument back. He knew one thing though, he liked the boy next to him.

As for the last boy, well he was excited, the only thing that worried him was if his hair was messy enough. He ran his hand through one more time as his knee bounced up and down. He wasn’t good at sitting still.

Year 4

Slughorn tells Snape he should take notes from Lily, even though he was second best in the class. Lily noticed from that day forward he constantly took more notes and even scribbled in the margins of his potions book.

Year 5

It’s year five and everything’s more complicated. OWLs are coming up and Lily can’t think. The knot in her stomach that she usually only feels before a big exam hasn’t left in three months. The knot grows bigger every 4th period when she has stupid Potions. The only class she shares with Severus and James. She can’t think when Severus shoots her daggers for not sitting with him and she can’t think when she hears James’s infuriating voice. Now a days, she can’t decide who she hates more. Severus has been acting so strange recently; at first, Lily thought it was because Professor Slughorn liked her so much. She soon realized he spent most of the class not paying attention at all but rather playing with his own potions set and hurriedly writing things down in his textbook. Normally, Lily would have investigated this matter more, but she was too tired these days.

Slughorn dipped into the Potions closet for a moment and James seized his opportunity to taunt Snape again.

“Snivellus, got dung under your nose again, eh?” James called out.

“Actually mate, I think that’s his natural face!” Sirius chimed in. Severus turned beet red, and mumbled a combination of foul language under his breath, which just made them laugh harder. Infuriated, Severus raised his wand, but lucky for James and Sirius, Slughorn reentered the room.

“Oho, Severus! No need for wands right now,” Slughorn caught his eye on his raised wand. He circled around Severus’s cauldron and exclaimed, “Excellent! One of the best Draught of Peace potions, I’ve seen in a while!”

At this, Severus perked up and scribbled more onto his book. James found it peculiar how he kept writing in his textbook; books were supposed to be kept in pristine condition. He nudged Sirius and directed his eyes in Severus’s direction. No words needed to be spoken for them to understand what to do next.

“Oh well, would you look at the time! Class over! A short six inch essay on Moonstone properties due Friday,” Slughorn announced. The class quickly shuffled towards the door but James and Sirius hung back making sure they’d walk behind Severus. He clutched his potions book under his arm, oblivious to his enemies walking behind him. Once out of the sight from the classroom, James nicked the book out from under his arm and flipped open to a page. Severus looked back wildly and tried to grab it out of James’s hand, but he was too fast. He dodged Severus’s arm and skirted backwards.

Reading off the page, James shouted, “Snivellus, why’d you write turn the potion twice clockwise when it clearly states once counter clockwise? Or crush don’t cut the beetle? Think you’re a hot shot, yeh? Gonna run back home to show your Daddy how smart you are? Oh, right, I forgot he walked out on your greasy arse.”

“Give that back, you arrogant fuck,” Severus fumed, lunging aggressively for the book. Again, James was too fast, and tossed the book over his head to Sirius.

With a casual catch, Sirius opened the book to the front cover and read aloud, “property of the Half-Blood Prince. What the fuck that’s supposed to mean? You’re that stupid you think you’re a prince?”

“Is that what you tell yourself to fall asleep at night?” James laughed, but soon realized Professor Slughorn was coming down the hall. He tossed the book back to Severus and ran off. “Catch you later, Snivellus!”

As Severus’s “friendships” with Avery, Mulciber, and other twisted Slytherins grew stronger, these interactions grew more frequent. James and Sirius despised the lot of them and the dark magic they used. Lily remained torn as ever; she hated Severus’s friends but couldn’t stand to see James and Sirius terrorize him. On a particular sunny day just after OWLs were finished, James lay about under a tree with Remus and Sirius. He lazily played with a snitch, letting it fly away for a moment, then snatching it before it went too far. Spotting Lily walking towards the lake, he quickly sat up and gave his hair an extra rumple.

“Mate, she isn’t paying attention to you,” Remus laughed, noticing his sudden alertness. James looked slightly deflated, but not for long; Avery and Mulciber were also coming down towards the lake with Severus a few strides behind them, trying to keep up. Eventually they sat under a tree across the way from Remus, Sirius, and James. They talked darkly among themselves before Avery and Mulciber sent Severus off. James stopped playing with his snitch, and Sirius began watching too. Severus snuck up behind a group of girls, which James knew to be Hufflepuffs, one of them was a muggle born. It looked as though he had dropped a letter behind the muggle born, then he slowly walked off. In unison, James and Sirius tore off from their seats, catching up with Severus before he made it back to his “friends.”

“Delivered a foul message to Penelope...Does that got anything to do with her being muggle born?” James angrily whispered behind his back. Severus quickly snatched his wand out of his robes and his face went pale. He had not expected to be caught.

“Serves her right, nasty mudblood,” Severus retorted.

Before James could even react, Sirius had already screamed “Scourgify!”. Severus’s mouth suddenly filled with bubbles, choking him. Now, lots of people were watching them, and James instantly noticed Lily was a spectator too. Severus spat the soap out of his mouth and quickly rounded up on Sirius, but James was too quick.

“Petrificus totalus!” Severus body crumpled to the ground frozen. At this, Lily ran over and cried the counter jinx.

“James, you arse!” Lily spat.

“I only did something because he left a fowl letter for Penelope!” James tried to reason.

“Sev, you wouldn’t do that, right?” Lily implored, but by her tone of voice she already knew the answer.

Severus, obviously mortified by James and Sirius’s teasing and the fact that Lily had to save him, spat back “So what if I did? She’s a filthy mudblood just like you.”

Acting unphased, Lily coolly walked away, leaving Sirius and James to continue their bullying.

That was the last time Lily ever considered Severus a friend.

Year 6

Year six holds a lot of surprises for Lily: she and Severus are finished, she witnesses a wizarding war for the first time, and most shocking of all, she realizes James might not be a bullying arrogant toerag after all.

Sixth year potions proved difficult as ever. Much more talented in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, James desperately needed help. After pleading Lily the first two weeks of the school year, she finally agreed to tutor him on the condition that he would stop playing with his hair. They spent Monday and Wednesday nights together, couped up in the common room or library. Their meetings always started on track and James would actually act very studious. By the end however, the conversation had strayed from Potions but to Quidditch or the latest gossip, and they usually ended up in bouts of laughter. Lily enjoyed the conversations about the war the most though. She found it refreshing to hear James be serious and she found it hopeful to hear his thoughtful and brave insight about the war. To Lily’s dismary, she soon discovered how much she actually enjoyed his presence, but of course she wouldn’t admit that to anyone. He never stopped playing with his hair, but she began to notice how attractive she found him, especially with his hair messy. That secret would be taken to the grave.

Their Potions lessons turned into Lily sitting with James and his friends in all of the classes they shared and even hanging out after class. With Lily’s newfound respect for James, Sirius’s came too. Remus, of course, she had always admired. She found it an escape to hang out with the Marauders, they were fully aware of the horrors outside the castle, but they never seemed to stop their laughter and practical jokes. As some of the cruelty leaked into Hogwarts (always stemming from Severus or other Slytherins), Lily began to understand James hatred of Severus. Of course, his bullying was always extreme and she knew Severus struggled with fitting in. Lily had noticed that James’s teasing had subsided; it was if now that they were friends, he wouldn’t dare do anything to piss her off.

One evening, James left his Defense Against the Dark Arts research essay to the last minute, forcing him to spend his night under his invisibility cloak in the library. Finally at one o’clock, he sleepily made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady swore at him for waking her up so late, but as her portrait swung upon, James heard faint crying coming from the common room. The crying grew louder as his walked through the tunnel. He stood at the end unsure if he should remove his invisibility cloak, but when he noticed the red hair alone by the fire he quickly slipped it off.

“Lily...er...are you alright?” James asked awkwardly.

Lily jumped and quickly wiped her eyes. Taking a moment to compose herself, she threw aside the letter she was holding, then spoke, “James! You scared me. What are you doing outside the common room so late?”

“Oh, I had an essay I had to finish up” he paused, unsure whether he should mention her crying, “but are you alright, what’s going on?” he finished, approaching the fire.

“Oh, nothing, it’s a bit stupid actually, I just--” Lily erupted in tears again, unable to finish her sentence. James now felt extremely uncomfortable, but he sat down on the floor next to her. He started rubbing her back, and caught a glance at the letter that was in her lap. Giving her a look, she nodded with approval, as he picked it up and read it to himself. It was from her sister. She said lots of foul things like how Lily was a freak, an attention slag, and that she didn’t believe a word about this “war.”

“Wow, your sister sounds like a lovely human,” James tried to laugh. To his surprise though, Lily managed a small smile and her sobs calmed a bit.

“She’s a-ac-actually amazing, but she’s always hated me for b-being a witch when she isn’t. I wrote her and my p-parent’s trying to explain the war,” Lily sniffled, then paused to cry a bit more. “My p-parents believed me, of course, but Petunia thinks I’m lying, and that I’m just trying to get attention. I’ve gotten past that her jealousy will always make her foul t-towards me, but I’m so scared that they’ll be V-Voldemort’s next muggle victims. I try to not act like I’m scared for myself, b-but its hard to deny that being muggle born doesn’t bode well these days. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m t-terrified, James.”

There was something about the way Lily said James’s name, that he knew Lily truly cared about him. He comforted and chatted with her until two, before the both of them agreed they must get some rest. As they went towards their separate staircases, James found his heart a blaze inside his chest, but most shocking of all, Lily’s heart glowed too.

With springtime finally among Hogwarts, the students spent much of their days outside and the sunlight significantly benefited everyone’s mood. The fifth years, unfortunately, looked miserable as ever with OWLs approaching. Lily and the Marauders couldn’t be happier they had already gone through that hell. Of course, James liked to rub that fact into into the struggling fifth years. Looking arrogant as ever, he casually played with his snitch and deliberately asked loudly “Don’t you just love how little work we’ve got right now? Man, I truly can’t think of anything worse than those OWLs last year,” when passing a group of studying fifth years.

“You’re a real git, you know?” Lily scoffed.

“Doesn’t stop you from hanging out with me.”

“It did for five years and if you keep it up, I might leave you high and dry again.”

“She’s got a point you know, if you weren’t such a mangy arse people might actually like you,” Remus chimed in.

James and Lily spent many days like that, sitting by the lake under their favorite tree. Sometimes their friends accompanied them, and Lily found herself becoming increasingly fond of each of them. She's always been Remus's friend, but after all these years she thinks she might understand how Remus has tolerated James and Sirius for so long.

Year 7

Hogwarts is strange. Everyone knows the horrors that are happening outside the castle walls, but nobody acknowledges it. People talk in hushed voices in the corner of the library or the common room with worry plaguing their faces. Lily spends most of her time with James, Remus, and Sirius. After a particularly gloomy week James and Sirius decided to throw a party Friday night. They mysteriously disappeared sixth block and came back with their rucksack bulging in seventh period. Remus gave them an angry glare and Lily tells them “You’re a fucking moron, you know? Coming to class with that.” Perhaps they were right but James and Sirius knew Professor Binns wouldn’t notice a thing. After escaping History of Magic, they all hurried back to their dormitories. They piled into James’s room since Head Boy gave him a private dorm and boys weren’t allowed in girls rooms. James and Sirius dumped their treasures all over the bed.

“So, are you going to tell us what this is all about?” Lily said, pointing the pile of Butterbeers, Firewhiskey, and cheap goblets.

“Yeah, we’re throwing a party tonight.” Sirius replied.

“Things have been looking a little dim around here to say the least, we thought this might lighten the mood,” James added on.

“You’re mad! Where would this even happen?” Remus inquired, looking rather uncomfortable. His friends made many stupid decisions but this one took the cake.

“Well, the common room of course!” Sirius laughed.

“Absolutely not, what if McGonagall hears? We’d all be done for!” Lily felt rather nervous about this whole idea and she wasn’t willing to give up Head Girl just one month into the school year.

“I think you’re just worried you can’t keep up with me Evans” James taunted.

“Oh, bugger off.”

Despite many protests from Lily and Remus and silencing charms cast around the common room doors, they all found them self gathered in the common room at eleven.

Sirius had already found Marlene and was dancing foolishly on top of the coffee table trying to impress her.

Lily stood near the table chatting with Mary and Alice before James came over and dragged her to the corner.

“I brought you a drink,” Lily could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke. “Remus looks as if he’s about to shit himself,” James continued, laughing at Remus’s direction. “Having fun yet, Evans?”

Lily laughed and took a sip of her Firewhisky and James’s hand found a place on her waist. Her insides burned and she can’t tell if it’s the whiskey or his touch. She wished she could stay there with him the whole night and she wished she could tell him this, but instead she said “C’mon let’s go loosen Remus up.” James wants to tell Lily that he loves her cherry pink lip gloss or the way her hair falls when she’s hunched over a book or the fierce look she gets when she yells at Mulciber or the way she looks curled up on the sofa or just simply that he loves her. But instead they stare at each other for a moment longer, remaining silent.

They get Remus drunk and everyone’s happy. Sirius, James, and Remus put on a three man act for the party to see. When Sirius dares James to turn into his animagus, he almost does but Remus reminds them it’s a secret and they’d be expelled. Lily, Sirius, and Marlene had a competition about who can name every student McGonagall has given detention to in the last month. Marlene won and Sirius kissed her. For a couple hours everything was blissful, but then William saw them kissing and he called her a stupid slag. Marlene cried and Mary threw up and James’s heart felt like it was going to explode if he doesn’t tell Lily this moment that he loves her but it's all okay. Because the common room is warm and for a brief moment everyone has forgotten about the war outside.

The next morning, they all woke up feeling a little worse than they did the morning before but nonetheless content. At breakfast, they ignored their mountain of homework, instead recounting all of the fun they had the night before. Everyone's smile quickly disappears when the owls come, knowing the Daily Prophet brought nothing but bad news these days. Sure enough, the front page contained a list of Voldemort's latest victims, all muggles, muggleborns, or well known "blood traitors." Lily’s heart sank and horrible thoughts swarmed her mind. James removed the newspaper from her hands and tried to give her a warm smile.

On Thursday afternoons, James gives Lily flying lessons since she never learned properly. They spend most of the time in fits of giggles arguing over who’s a bigger prat, James for being so arrogant or Lily for being so incompetent.

“Well, I actually think I got better today!” Lily exclaimed, touching down on the ground after a surprisingly successful lesson.

“Great! Now you can finally thank me for being such an excellent teacher.” James hovered four feet off the ground circling around Lily, just to prove his broom control.

“Oh, come off it. Half the time you just laughed at me!” Suddenly, the sky erupted and buckets of rain fell from the clouds. “Merlin’s beard! C’mon James lets go!” He quickly hopped off his broom, grabbed Lily’s hand, and sprinted towards the Quidditch locker room. Gasping, they finally made it inside. Taking their time to catch their breath, they hardly realized they were still holding hands, until the panting stopped. With the silence, Lily found herself feeling awkward about it, but at the same time she didn’t want to let go.

“Well this is just an absolute mess.” Lily said to fill the silence, pointing down at their drenched clothes. “I’ve got mud everywhere!”

“Yeah, its a real shame seeing your shirt stuck to you like that…”

Lily slapped James, but she couldn’t help but blush. Her laughter faded and everything seemed rather serious.

They were still holding hands.

Lily became quite aware of how close they were and watched as James eyes dropped when she licked a raindrop off her lips.

All at once, James’s lips crashed onto Lily’s and they melted into each other. She forgot about the rain and the mud or whether or not they would survive once leaving Hogwarts. With sudden clarity, she understood everything. She understood that she didn’t have to understand anything, because she was his and he was hers.

And together, they’d be okay.

#jily fanfiction #jily #fanfic #harry potter #james potter #lily evans #sirius black #remus lupin #jk rowling #my heart

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