coffeesweetmilk

[coffeesweetmilk]

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

[coffeesweetmilk]

April 26, saturday.

01. I have to revisit and finish the study of trigonometric transformations.

02. study mechanics using the method I'm trying to develop to study physics.

03. analyze my last essay and think of what I can do better to elevate my grade. and re write a bunch of stuff.

wish me luck! ☕

[coffeesweetmilk]

I feel like writing something on taking responsibility for your failures and your academic setbacks because I truly feel I have to get this out of my system. the only problem is I'm still trying to figure out a way to take action and responsibility with my stuff. just speaking about it is so different from actually understanding and doing something.

[coffeesweetmilk]

now reading: the prince, by niccolo machiavelli.

[coffeesweetmilk]

one thing that so many students forget is that, a win is a win. if you planned on doing english homework but instead you finished your history essay, celebrate that, don’t be upset that you didn’t sick to your plan, at least you got SOMETHING DONE. a win is a fucking win and don’t let anyone tell you different.

[coffeesweetmilk]

It's hard to unlearn hate—a personal rant about math, physics, and every aspect of exact sciences that's been nothing short of a nightmare to me my whole life.

I have very early memories of struggling with math. In one of these I got sick, couldn't make it to school for almost a week or even longer, and when I finally came back the math teacher had just finished teaching everyone about integers, and I was left scrambling to understand what exactly those are.

This seems super silly, and probably is, but I do remember feeling too embarrassed to ask for actual help. I remember being so confused because now I have negative numbers, but besides the fact that they're on the other side of zero with a minus sign, I don't get much about them. 

In my other memory, my father wouldn't let me play with my cousins until I had all my tables memorized. This resulted in me spending the whole day locked in a room with a big window, from where I could see the blue of the sky and feel the welcoming heat of the sun. The threat of my father's punishment for not studying also loomed over me, and still I couldn't, for the life of me, memorize that 6 x 7 = 42. 

This was not the only time people tried to interfere with the relationship with math. I've had tutors who said to my father I would never learn because I didn't take things seriously. One teacher once gave me a zero on a test because I only had the answers and had erased all the calculations. (I was, and still am, awfully embarrassed of people seeing my calculations.) An older cousin tried too. I don't remember much of our lessons to know if she was patient or not, but I hold that from the lack of bad memories alone, I can summarize your encounters weren't a total pain. Still, I didn't learn.

My great-aunt tried too. I remember our afternoons together. She would ask me table after table, and some I could remember fast enough; others I simply couldn't. Another older cousin (I'm the youngest of my family) was close by seeing the exchange, and my great aunt said,. "You need to be like her. Look how fast she goes," and proceeded to ask the same questions to my cousin, who knew them much better, who answered much faster. 

I don't write this blaming the people who've tried to help me, be it with sweet words and patience or rudeness and threats. I write this because, now that I'm 22, I have the opportunity of my dreams, and all that stands between me and the life I really want for myself are the numbers, theories, and calculations that compose math and physics. I've seen people a thousand times smarter than me who have chosen an easier way, and maybe that's what's good for them and what they actually wanted and needed. But still I cannot help but wonder, why am I trying this and not them?

I don't belong here; I shouldn't go after something that requires such a deep knowledge of exact sciences after I've failed to learn anything substantial about them all my life. I don't belong. And yet, this is what I want.

[coffeesweetmilk]

math rant, sorry

i genuinely think that math hating is a learned social behavior. you have to hate it to be relatable, otherwise you're a nerd - and not the eccentric fun kind of science nerd. also there is this assumption that if you're not naturally good at it, you shouldn't even try, which doesn't really exist for other subjects. like, students won't mind writing an essay, or doing arts, even if they're not amazing at it, but doing math when they might fail is somehow torture.

all these memes like "pythagoras is useless irl" and "satan put the alphabet in math" read to me like "the curtains were blue cause they were blue!!>:(" bs, but receive way less criticism online. do people even agree with the memes, or is it just herd mentality? cause honestly, why is math more useless than anything else we learn in school? why is saying "x-2=4" more evil than saying "what minus two equals four"?

of course, math people with low self esteem and condescending auras are also to blame for making math unappealing, as well as math teachers with no social skills lol. but the overall meme-ability of math hating sure is not helping, cause kids go into school with the expectation that math will be hard and they won't enjoy it

[coffeesweetmilk]

In case anyone wants to know anything! just ask :)

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[coffeesweetmilk]

The only person you're destined to become is the person you decide to be – Epictetus.

I've created this blog with the intention of sharing my studies with the rest of the world and of becoming a better student and person. I'm a 22 year old latin who's not proud of themselves right now and wishes to change this.

My main topics of study are english, my mother language, physics and mathematics. I'm trying to get into a very specific job and that requires a very niche major. Right now I'm striving to get into college. I've been studying seriously for some time but I see I've neglected a lot of important stuff and I've only recently discovered this new path ahead of me.

I'm also really interested in history, geopolitics, writing and drawing, philosophy and reading. I plan to share some of my thoughts on these topics here too. I've been planning a book and trying to learn how to paint with watercolor as a way to deal with anxiety and help calm myself.

If you too wish to strive for the better version of yourselves, and change your reality for the better through the power of learning, please follow and interact!