cogniz
cogniz
roma
188 posts
letting my intrusive thoughts win
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cogniz · 17 days ago
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if i were a distant friend of dean's i would tell him to write a parenting book from raising sam and he would be THE boymom of all time with his obsessive, possessive, toxic and controlling need over sam. he would make so much money too? someone get this man his big bags
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cogniz · 19 days ago
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cw never had an episode with deaged sam cause dean will make it a law and order svu episode
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cogniz · 23 days ago
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do u guys remember this like this was crazy. like sam said he was gonna be gone for just one night it hasnt even been a few hours yet
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cogniz · 1 month ago
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dean is imprisoned by his devotion for sam. at first, it was a childlike wonder for his tiny baby feet and the slope of his little nose. dean would curl around him in his crib and hold him close, nose pressed to the crown of his head and whispering to him about knights of the round table.
then, everything innocent and sweet burnt alongside their mother and was replaced with a desperate kind of love that made john glance twice. he sat beside a toddling sam in the back seat of the impala and kept their hands tangled together, fingers sticky and warm. he’d carry sam on his back until his legs were sore and screaming, hold him close when john was quiet and staring over a bottle of whiskey.
then sammy went to school, and dean was busy learning about things terrible and worrying that sam would be taken from him while he slept. he was there when sam was dropped off and there to pick him up, teeth biting lip and cheeks gnawed raw.
he was never far from sam, never. they ate together, slept together, shared the same bathroom all their childhood. and then sam was gone, for so long and seemingly never to return to his side and dean was distraught.
he didn’t eat, he fought until his knuckles broke and his nose went crooked, he slept with every women he came across and hunted in nameless towns miserable and tired.
and then sam was back. legs bent awkwardly in the passenger seat with cheeks flushed and alive and so close to him. he felt high with companionship, hands and shoulders grazing sam’s and knees knocking under diner tables. they bickered and sang along to the radio and it was an overwhelming sweetness that scared him blind, and he kept looking at him out of the corner of his eye obsessively.
then their dad was back and so angry, and dean’s teeth were oily slick with blood that dripped down his chin. his eyes were slits and he wanted desperately to be okay, for sam to be okay. and then his dad, who he was devoted to only second to sam, was pleading with sam to choose the demon over dean.
john said, “killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.”
and like white hot lightning, sam’s eyes flicked to his in the rearview mirror, and he whispered, “no sir, not before everything.”
in that moment, dean understood that this devotion was mutual, that sam loved him just as selfishly, that he would live because sam said so and there was no one he believed in more than his little brother.
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cogniz · 2 months ago
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Reblog if you’re a member of the Ginny Weasley Defence Squad
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cogniz · 2 months ago
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"spn found family" yeah found bait by dean winchester for the next time sam is in trouble
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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personally as an angst enjoyer why do we not have more fics of dean regretting saying things to sam in anger and slowly realising the damage his words have caused to his brother? i need fics of dean slowly dieing inside with guilt on what he said to sam in charlie's funeral, seeing his brother withdraw into himself and be a shell of a person and realise he is what caused this. need dean begging sam for forgiveness and sam to take some time to actually believe him and not think of himself as added baggage to his brother.
make me cry omg.
or rec me fics like this i beg
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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how you people watch supernatural and go "oh! dean is such boyfriend material!!" is genuinely unfathomable. dean who uses people as dog food for the monster of the week when sam is in danger? dean who didn't have an issue leaving his gf and her son of his one year live in relationship for sam? dean who has thrown out his "bestfriend" out of the bunker when he was vulnerable just so sam is fine?
but do you know who can find dean as boyfriend material? sam. the guy who is at the receiving end of dean's rare niceties. maybe sam can call dean his possessive - all encompassing loving - abusive boyfriend.
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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ngl wincest the only ship where i dont care who tops in the fic like i really dont play about my preferences with any other pairs but sam and dean? I'll eat up anything. just serve the dish raunchy enough and I'll live in bliss
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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no no i get why dean be doing all that to have him alive. you aint ever getting a choice other than living by my side sam winchester
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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its always funny seeing people who hate shipping wincest turn around and get pissy and bitch on sam while the boys do the most sibling thing ever. like im sorry but you whimpering over sam throwing wrappers in dean's room or acting bitchy with him are the moments trying their most into still holding supernatural as a brothers show and not a brotherfuckers fest. stop whining on the only moments saving the show from gencest into incest.
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cogniz · 3 months ago
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is this not fucking weird???
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cogniz · 4 months ago
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X
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cogniz · 4 months ago
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He ain’t heavy,He’s my brother.
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cogniz · 4 months ago
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dean winchester serving blank face "i see, god damn, sucks to be you, sheesh brotha" at the 'confession' scene but two episodes later belting shakespeare monologues to his baby brother for 7 MINUTES while suffering from blunt trauma AND THEN driving around for years in heaven waiting for his sam is something. its something i love. its something.
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cogniz · 4 months ago
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"from one crazy to other, you are good baby, you are great as a matter of fact" ahh quote. and i know sam's worshipping dean's ass and inability to see dean as anything but good probably heard it and felt GREAT!
i do think dean telling sam he's not a murderer and he doesn't have it in his bones is so funny. serial killer to serial killer voice. no you're not a killer (is a killer) and neither am I (also a killer).
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cogniz · 4 months ago
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spn writers are extremely goofy for constantly comparing sam and dean to married couple or have characters joke on sam being dean's wife, or dean asking if sam wants a divorce when they fight. and it is extremely goofy and a choice cause they actually had other characters they can make gay jokes with sam or dean but no they had sam brotherwifed up for dean at every inconvenience
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