confessions-of-a-girll

[confessions-of-a-girll]

“the heart wants what it wants”? okay well the heart is fucking stupid can we let someone else have a turn? maybe the spleen wants to have a go?

[confessions-of-a-girll]

You buy XL sweaters bc you’re taller and need them to fit lengthwise.

I buy XL sweaters bc I’m big and need them to fit me width wise.

So let’s share and kiss.

[confessions-of-a-girll]

I unironically hit my shit to the love and deepspace thingies. Like. Silent poem. OH MY GOOOOODDDUUUUHHHH

Something wildfire or whatever. RAFAELLLNGHHHHH!!!!~~~

[confessions-of-a-girll]

don’t forget that it’s your life. it’s not school’s life, it’s not work’s life, it’s not your family or your partner’s life—it’s perpetually your life, for better or worse. what do you want from this life? forget happy, what motivates you to live? why are you here?

[confessions-of-a-girll]

I think the hot new trends for this summer should be reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

[confessions-of-a-girll]

How many dragons have you killed before this? How many of your friends?

[confessions-of-a-girll]

Rewatching horsie moves and im going to DIE. I don’t remember flicka being this sad

‘It’s okay daddy. You can shoot us’ US. referring to her horse. MHHDJRIEKEHE. RHEY ARE LITTERALY TWIN SO THEY THE SAME AND ONE AND US.

[confessions-of-a-girll]

Gang wtf wrong with me.

I’m hitting my shit as a girl does and post nut I start crying bc my work crush is still in a situationship with his ex gf and I’m crying bc he’s so cute and nice and fine and ik he don’t want me like that but I want him to want me too.

Idk then I go to the toilet and realise how weird I’m being🙏🙏

[confessions-of-a-girll]

Gang. I’m fucked yo at the club and there’s this cutie pie with classes and he looks like a loser and I want him. I wanna smoosh him he’s so cuuuuuute

[confessions-of-a-girll]

"schlatt forced me to do this" (tumblr's version)

it's a good time to spread love! it was valentines day like ... a little bit ago, right?

so here are my favorite writers, and my favorite fics. each under a nice, neat little category for your viewing pleasure.

JSCHLATT

writers

@burdenandacrop, @memento-rory, @777nicetits

fics

plush obsessed gf x schlatt who punches them when she's not around by @schluttforschlatt *SO CUTE!

these hands can only be gentle by @burdenandacrop *most comforting fic i've ever read. dead dove do not eat fic.

do not disrespect my wife like that. by @amayalul *lore accurate and made me giggle + kick my feet.

angsty bully!schlatt fic by @memento-rory *this one because its ending satisfies me. girlboss reader.

my heart is buried in st. lucia by @memento-rory *being a jschlatt x reader fan and not reading st. lucia is like never reading harry potter. it's a classic. we all love it. we quote it. it is love. it is life. you are cultured if you have seen it and if you haven't go read it !! (ik jk rowling is shit but just the series itself.)

so drunk schlatt/ted can't recognize you by @memento-rory *silly and schlatt's is especially lore accurate. also i am biased towards rory. because rory gives cool older sibling of the jschlatt x reader community vibes.

big guy (headcanons) by @k4lenz *no i am NOT biased because kalen is my little australian buddy. these are cute and kalen just knows how to channel the schlatt voice.

chatting to schlatt's stream by @777nicetits *this is my favorite social media fic, the real users as chatters is just so cute and it felt SOO realistic. seeing a pattern of i like a fic the more realistic it is??

TED

writers

@k4lenz, and... yeah tbh. sorry ted lovahs!

fics

the boy! (headcanons) by @k4lenz *same reason for jschlatt one. has the voice. lore accurate stuff.

chatting on the pod by @phxntomsdusk *needed more ted fics and this one is just cute. really makes you feel like you're on the good ol' pod with The Boys.

it's all a romcom by @obsessivestar *my introduction to ted fics and a GREAT ONE tbh?? suggested by @the-slimebox

SLIMECICLE

writers

@slimeypaws + @lanadoeswriting !!

fics

athlete!charlie x nerd!reader by @slimeypaws *my favorite charlie!au

we could build a home (we could play pretend) by @fullofgutsndopamine *started my charlie obsession!

streamer headcanons by @lanadoeswriting *inspired "you're a part time lover + a full time friend"!

mathteacher!charlie x englishteacher!reader by @slcmml, who's now @slimeypaws *SOO CUTE AND WIHT THE STUDENTS SENDING THE NOTES AHHH

spiderman!charlie x gnbestfriend!reader by @p3achslimes *THIS also got me into charlie omg omg i lvoe this au it's so charlie coded peach has my heart for this one.

and, as is customary, i challenge @slimeypaws and @k4lenz!! to do this. muahhah. good luck!! :D

[confessions-of-a-girll]

DAWG😭😭

My mama came in my room to lay with me cuz her little head hurt and she goes ‘is ur bf under the pillow’ and I go ‘heh- yeah. All 5’ and pull up my little plushies of the LaDs boys. And she goes. ‘No I meant your pink one under your pillow’ MY VIBE-😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏

It was NOT there. It was safe in **a** drawer.

[confessions-of-a-girll]

Blud. I’m not going to lie I got massive fomo for missing out on getting sylus’s mullet hair

[confessions-of-a-girll]

You ever real a fanfic so good and scrumptious and just what you need that u wanna grab the author and give them the sloppier wettest moistest toppy of their life.

[confessions-of-a-girll]

"happy valentine's day to me," i say, opening ao3 to read about the same two characters falling in love for the twentieth time

[confessions-of-a-girll]

Day 2 of hiding scratches I put in my brothers expensive car because he called me a fat cunt.

[confessions-of-a-girll]

I bought the towel thing for zayne nehehehehehebe

[confessions-of-a-girll]

So. I play love and deepspace. Absolutely adore it. But I was feeling devious and bc they have a period tho g on it. I decided to tell them it’s happening. BUT THEYRE SO CUTE!!! Caleb’s offered me snacks and sweets and shit.

Ik it’s a game but let me be free.

Also why is the period part voiced but not the nicknames 🤨🤨🤨like. Okay queen. Ask me about my flow with your real voice but don’t giggle ab calling me cutie.