constrainedwriting

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FYI, the Into the Spider-Verse script has been made available! Really fun read on its own and a great resource if you’re writing fic. (Saw it for a third time yesterday and starting constructing something that needs lines pulled from the movie, so this is super great timing for me.)

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The Exercise:

    Write a drabble.

The Goal:

     The goal of writing a drabble is to meet a specific word count and not go past it or below it. By writing with such a low word count, we are forced to examine each word and sentence and ask, "Is this necessary to the story? Does this provide meaning or is this just meaningless fluff?" and act accordingly.

What is a drabble?

    A drabble is a short work of fiction of precisely one hundred words in length. Nothing more, nothing less. The purpose of the drabble is brevity, testing the author's ability to express interesting and meaningful ideas in a confined space.

An example of a drabble:

“You know, I hadn’t realized how perfect this is.”

He opened a bleary eye, conscious of the finger circling his chest, “My sweater?”

“The anchor,” She answered as he traced the eye, then down the crown, on either side of the fluke, before returning upward and following the stock. “It’s perfect because you’re my anchor.”

“You mean I’m weighing you down?” asked Jim, which earned him a light slap on the chest.

“No, I mean you keep me steady.” She smiled before leaning up for a kiss which Jim returned gladly.

“You’re a sap.” He accused.

“Your sap.”

“My sap.”

There's no real way to mess up a drabble if you stick to the word count so go forth and write! Remember, feel free to post your writing to the community! See you soon!

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Exercise #3: Unsticking

The Exercise -

    Write a story using no sticky sentences or edit a previous work so it has no sticky sentences. The Goal -

     Sticky words are a necessary part of writing but can become cumbersome to read if there’s too many in a sentence. The goal of this exercise is to become familiar with sticky words and realize when they’re better edited out or better left in.

What are sticky words?     Sticky words, or glue words, are words that glue words together, as opposed to working words that carry most of the sentence’s meaning.

Here are some examples of sticky words:

What is a sticky sentence?

    In a sentence there should be no more than 45% of sticky words or else the sentence itself becomes sticky and clunky to read. We call this a sticky sentence.

Here is an example of a sticky sentence:

    He turned his head this way or that, hoping to find the specter that led him to this spot but there was no one in sight.

Sticky words: turned, head, this, way, or, that, to, find, the, but, there, was, no, in

17 of the 26 words are sticky words, equaling 65.4% making this a sticky sentence.

Rewrite: He searched the forest for bewitching specters, but found himself alone.

Sticky words: the, for, but, it,

5 of the 11 words are sticky words, equaling 45%. This is not a sticky sentence.

What not to do

His breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to over tell but at the same time, he felt he needed to say more to convince this total stranger to help him - but at the same time still he didn't want the stranger to come to this house that hadn't seen magic in years. Didn't trust him to not kidnap the child away and accuse him of some longtime prejudice he didn't know the details to.

There is no sound on the other side of the phone. Mr. Evergreen looks at the caller identification screen just to see if the man hasn't hung up. He hasn't. He's about to open his mouth to ask if the man is still on the other side of the line when Edmund speaks up, his voice curt and to the point.

Sticky sentence: He didn't want to over tell but at the same time, he felt he needed to say more to convince this total stranger to help him - but at the same time still he didn't want the stranger to come to this house that hadn't seen magic in years

Glue Index: 66.7%

Sticky words: did, want, to, over, tell, but, at, the, same, time, felt, say, more, this, still, come, that, had, in, years

Rewrite: He needed this stranger's help, and yet he was reluctant to explain. He didn't want this stranger to invade this house which had become void of magic.

Glue Index: 50% and 46%.

Sticky words: this, and, yet, he was, to, did, want, this, to, which, had, of,

--------------------

Sticky sentence: There is no sound on the other side of the phone.

Glue Index: 81.8%

Sticky Words: There, is, no, on, the, other, side, of

Rewrite: The phone is silent.

Glue Index: 50%

Sticky words: the, is

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Sticky Sentence: He's about to open his mouth to ask if the man is still on the other side of the line when Edmund speaks up, his voice curt and to the point.

Glue Index: 62.5%

Sticky words: about, to, if, the, man, is, on, other, side, of, when, up, voice, and,

Rewrite: He opens his mouth to ask if the man is still there when Edmund speaks.

Glue Index: 45%

Sticky words: to, ask, if, the, is, there, when,

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Altogether:

His breath caught in his throat. He needed this stranger's help, and yet he was reluctant to explain. He didn't want this stranger to invade this house which had become void of magic. Didn't trust him to not kidnap the child away and accuse him of some longtime prejudice he didn't know the details to.

The phone is silent. Mr. Evergreen looks at the caller identification screen just to see if the man hasn't hung up. He hasn't. He opens his mouth to ask if the man is still there when Edmund speaks.

Ending Notes:

     As with all my exercises, feel free to do the exercise once and then ignore it. Writing is a subjective beast and this isn't a hard and fast rule. Sometimes we can't shorten sentences without losing some meaning. Sometimes you think it sounds better with the extra words. A sticky sentence is a sentence that has 50% sticky words or more but if you recall earlier, the phrase, "The phone is silent," is a sticky sentence by those standards. Should we throw the sentence out of the trash just because it's sticky? No.  But if your sentence, say, has more than 70% sticky words, then you might need to change it somehow.

For more information on Sticky Sentences please check this out.

As always feel free to post your exercise to the community! I'd love to see them

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Exercise #2: Passive and Active

Exercise:

      Write a story that is entirely in the passive voice. Now write that same story but change it to active voice.

Goal:

    Beginning writers tend to favor passive sentences but an overabundance of passive sentences can bog down the story and make it difficult to read through. By consciously writing in both passive and active voice, the hope is you’ll recognize what voice you’re writing in and change it if need be.

What is passive voice?

     A passive voice is one in which the subject does not perform the action in the sentence, but the action is performed on it. Okay, so what does that mean? Take this sentence for example: The table was jumped on.

    Notice how it doesn’t say who jumps on the table. That’s because this is a passive sentence. A more active version of this sentence would be: She jumped on the table.

A tip on how to recognize if the sentence is passive or not:

1) The “by who” method. If at the end of the sentence you have to say “by who”, -- or if it’s already written there -- then chances are the sentence is passive. “He was eaten by zombies.” = passive. However, “The zombies ate him.” = active.

2) Generally, a passive voice can be recognized by a form of ‘to be’ in the sentence (be, been, am, were, was, is) but just because they’re in a sentence, doesn’t mean it’s passive. For example, The bed was covered = passive, but She was tired = active. The chimes had been hung = passive, but  He had been waiting = active, etc.

What to avoid in passive voice:

The wheel was tapped on by nervous fingers. Dark houses lining the streets were passed without a second glance. It had been a week since Joey was last seen, but it must’ve been a tough week because he looked like hell. His forehead was filled by lines and shadows that had nothing to do with the time of night haunted his face, making it sallow and haggard. Henry's wakefulness that jolted him awake at three thirty in the morning was drained away by the sight.

     Notice how long and stuffy this sounds? Now let’s view this paragraph in active voice.

Joey tapped his fingers on the wheel nervously. He drove by dark houses that lined the street without a second thought. It had been a week since Henry had seen Joey last, but it must’ve been a tough week because he looked like hell. Lines filled his forehead and shadows that had nothing to do with the time of night haunted his face, making it sallow and haggard. The wakefulness that had jolted Henry awake at three thirty in the morning all but drained away at the sight.

Of course this isn’t a statement to ban passive voice from all your writing. Here’s a list of when best to use passive voice:

1) To appear neutral or distant: For example, if you’re writing a newscaster giving a report: The document has been released into public domain, or a diplomat meeting: The fraud was a poor attempt at cover up, or even a scene where the protagonist has been concussed and therefore views things in an out-of-world experience. The water was drained dry. He didn’t know if it had been him who done it or someone else.

2) When it doesn’t matter who the subject is, it’s unknown, or is obvious. Grapes are grown in California. This is a passive statement that doesn’t explain who’s doing the growing but we can assume grape farmers. The thief was arrested. By who? The obvious would be police. His keys were stolen. By who? Presumably an unknown thief.

3) When you want to emphasize the first part of the sentence. An estimated 200 people were bitten.

4) To use the same subject twice. She participated in the pie eating competition and was sick the next day.

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Writing Exercise #1: Sans Adverbs

Exercise Masterpost

The Exercise:

     Write a story without adverbs or, if you don’t have time to write a fresh story, take an old story, paste it into a new doc, and edit out all the adverbs. Afterwards, compare your previous story and your story with the adverbs edited out. In fact, I would encourage you to edit an old story instead of writing a new one so you can better see the effects of removing adverbs.

     Remember, half of writing is revising!

The Goal:

      People tend to use adverbs in writing as crutches to refrain from writing detail or to further explain things that don’t need explanation. For example: she sobbed sadly. Yes, she sobbed sadly, that’s what most people expect when someone sobs. It’s not a lie to say she sobbed sadly but it doesn’t enhance the writing either. Another example: the class was virtually empty when they arrived. Yes, you could use that in your story and have no one question it, but what does ‘virtually empty’ mean? Empty save for a few students lingering in the back? Empty of people but there’s belongings hanging from the backs of chairs and under desks, waiting for recollection?

     In short, this exercise is meant to force you to stop hedging and think on what you mean when you use an adverb.

What is an adverb?

      An adverb is a word or phrase that modifies or qualifies an adjective, verb, or other adverb or a word group, expressing a relation of place, time, circumstance, manner, cause, degree, etc. Most folks recognize adverbs by the suffix -ly: Apparently, quickly, highly, etc. but adverbs don’t have to end in -ly. For example, the words just, all, always, too, often, sometimes, here, there, and even inside are considered adverbs depending on how you use it.

      For this exercise I want you to get rid of as many adverbs as you can with the ones ending in -ly being top priority. 

My writing, unedited:

This is a scrap I wrote a few year ago.

Albert paused, his lips curling into a decidedly displeased frown. "Still have that mouth on you, don't you, Nathaniel?"

By the time they got there, Eliza had woken up and Albert the Birthday Boy was already waiting by the gate. The party, as it were, was just a few of Albert's friends and some relatives who were forced to go and their friends who got dragged along. Namely, Nathaniel and his group of friends.

"Nathaniel, you made it!" Albert said as he came by. He had blond hair and thick glasses but besides that, he didn't really look as socially outcast as Nathaniel remembered him. Then again, they hadn't really spoken since the time Nathaniel threw his model airplane out the window. He should apologize for that, shouldn't he?

"Hey, Al. Happy sixteenth birthday. Sorry about that one time I threw your model plane out the window."

 My writing, focusing solely on removing adverbs and nothing else:

Albert paused, his lips curling into a displeased frown. “Still have that mouth on you, don’t you, Nathaniel?”

By the time they arrived, Eliza had woken up and Albert the Birthday Boy was waiting by the gate. The party, as it were, consisted of a few of Albert’s friends and some relatives who were forced to go and their friends who got dragged along, otherwise known as Nathaniel and his group of friends.

“Nathaniel, you made it!” Albert said as he came by. He had blond hair and thick glasses but besides that, he didn’t look as outcast as Nathaniel remembered him. Then again, they hadn’t spoken since the time Nathaniel threw his model airplane out the window. He should apologize for that, shouldn’t he?

“Hey, Al. Happy sixteenth birthday. Sorry about that one time I threw your model plane out the window.”

     It might be hard to tell the real difference between these two pieces but I ask you take a closer look at what I’ve changed and the sentence feels when reading them back to back. 

     Now, you might not use adverbs in your writing already, in which case I applaud you; feel free to move onto the next exercise. But remember to revise, revise, revise or else your writing can and will sound like this if you don’t pay attention.

What to avoid in writing:

“A guy named Harold?” He finally replied as he pushed himself slowly to his feet. “Don’t know him.”

He sincerely wished he could go back to fixing but begrudgingly threw aside his wrench, nearly taking out the stranger’s as he did. They didn’t jump like he expected, just stepped placidly to the side.

“Yeah, well, not a lot of people heard of him since the accident.”

The mechanic was vaguely unsettled by the statement and he frowned uncomfortably. He strode down the scaffold and hopped nimbly off, then waited for the stranger to safely maneuver himself around the hastily cleaned garage for a face-to-face conversation.

     Notice how awkward this sounds. Count how many adverbs there are. Twelve adverbs in four paragraphs. Now read it without the adverbs. 

“A guy named Harold?” He replied as he pushed himself to his feet. “Don’t know him.”

He wished he could go back to fixing but threw aside his wrench, taking out the stranger’s as he did. They didn’t jump like he expected, but stepped to the side.

“Yeah, well, not a lot of people heard of him since the accident.”

The mechanic was unsettled by the statement,and he frowned . He strode down the scaffold and hopped off, then waited for the stranger to maneuver himself around the cleaned garage for a face-to-face conversation.

Much better, right?

Other examples of what not to do:

“Go away!” She shouted menacingly. | “I hate it here,” he said quietly. | She closed the door firmly on her way out.

      These would be much better if written with stronger words in general, rather than adverbs. For example: “Go away!” She shouted. | “I hate it here,” he whispered. | She slammed the door on her way out.

      See the difference?

When to use adverbs:

       It’s better to not use adverb, but that doesn’t mean adverbs should be removed from your work entirely.

If it enhances the writing or provides a meaning that the sentence can’t convey without. Ex. She sobbed happily. | The lightning danced merrily through the sky. | He loved her angrily.

In dialogue. In real life, people say, “I really, really, have to go to the bathroom,” or, “I’m finally finished!” People, however, do not say, “She frowned sadly at me when I told her the news,” or, “The dog waved its tail happily when I brought home the new puppies.”

Whenever you feel like, because ultimately this is your writing, but if you want to improve you’ll make a conscious decision on whether the adverb you wrote is necessary to the sentence.

Feel free to post your writing to the tag #constrainedwriting, if you want!

[constrainedwriting]

Hello! Welcome to Constrainedwriting, a blog centered around ... constrained writing.

What is constrained writing? Constrained writing is a literary technique in which the writer is bound by some condition that forbids certain things or imposes a pattern. For example: poems, drabbles, and six-word memoirs are types of constrained writing.

The goal of this tumblr is to strengthen writing through constraint exercises. This tumblr will post writing exercises every Saturday. If any of you choose to participate, please tag it with #constrainedwriting so we can share!

Note: Too tired to write something new every week? Well, a good chunk of writing is revision. If you’re too tired write something entirely new, pull out an old writing of yours from a week, or a month, or years ago and try to revise it within the exercise’s parameters. Maybe you’ll hate the original. Maybe you’ll hate the new piece. It’s nice to contrast and compare and see what works for your writing style.

Hope to see you on Saturday!